U.K Raises Terror Alert to "bothersome"

[coriolis]

http://www.weeklyworldinquisitor.com/UK ... alert.html

British Government warns that 'something is up' but can't say what
By Tarquin Piers Algernon de Gentilhomme, UK Social Unpleasantness Correspondent

The UK has raised its terror threat alert to the second-highest level - 'Bothersome'. According to a spokesman from the Home Office: "Intelligence sources have indicated that there is quite a high likelihood that certain ne'er-do-wells are in a rather agitated state and may be up to something."

He added: "We're not saying that they're actually going to do anything. Nor are we saying who they are or where they are. We just thought people ought to know that we're somewhat alarmed."

Asked what citizens should do about this, he replied: "Do? What do you mean do?"

The UK has a different set of threat levels to the familiar color-coding used in the US. The British threat levels are:

Niggling: The security services have a nasty feeling about something but citizens should not concern themselves unduly.

Vexing: The Government knows that someone is planning something but can't quite put their finger on it. Citizens should not approach unattended packages and should immediately report any untoward behavior to the nearest constable.

Worrisome: The security services know that something is definitely going on. If you have any information, you should pass it on. In the meantime, please be careful not to say or do anything suspicious because it just confuses the situation and makes more work for MI5.

Bothersome: The Government isn't saying that an attack is about to happen, but all government ministers and civil servants have decided to stay at home with a nice cup of tea. If you are a member of certain religious or political groups, a policeman will be around shortly to have a nice chat. It would be unwise of anyone of a non-British appearance to travel on the Tube.

Awful: It's really rather likely that something ghastly will happen. We're terribly sorry.

When asked if people should be worried about the raising of the threat level, the Home Office spokesman said: "People should always be worried."

[RL3AO]

LOL.

[brunota2003]

Awesome!