Actual Police reports ...

[Stormsfury]

The following are examples of police reports where the drivers were instructed to give brief statements on the particulars of the accidents in their own words:

1) Going home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
2) The other car collided with mine without giving warning or its intention.
3) I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my head through it.
4) I collided with a staionary truck coming the other way.
5) A truck backed through my windshield into my wife face.
6) A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
7) The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit im.
8) I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
9) The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in the bush and just his rear end showing.
10) In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
11) I had been shopping for plants all day, and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision, I did not see the other car.
12) I though I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became smashed.
13) I had been driving for forty years when I asleep at the wheel and had the accident.
14) The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other car.
15) The other car attempted to cut in front of me, so I was my right front bumper, removed his left read tail light and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.
16) I was backing me car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several time before.
17) I was on my way to the doctor's office with read end trouble when my universal joint gave away causing the accident.
18) I was taking my canary to the hospital. It got loose in the car and flew out the window. The next thing I saw was his rear end and there was a crash.
19) As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had never appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
20) To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
21) My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
22) An invisible car came out of nowhere struck my vehicle and vanished.
23) I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.
24) I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him.
25) When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
26) The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.
27) The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
28) My girlfriend kissed me, I lost control and woke up in the hospital.
29) I saw the slow moving, sad-faced, old gentlement as he bounced off the hood of my car.
30) I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
31) The telephone pole was approaching fast. I attempted to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.
32) I was unable to stop in time and my car smashed into the other vehicle. the driver and passenger then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.

[Lindaloo]

ROFLMBO!!!

[TexasStooge]

LOL!!! Funny, but true!

[Stephanie]

I've seen some of these before and they are hysterical!