A game of scruples...or whatever we decide to call it

[Guest]

If you found out your husband/wife was cheating on you, would you immediately kick them out, or would you try to make the relationship work?

To the curb baby!

Would you pierce your tongue if someone dared you to do it?

[JQ Public]

No i wouldn't...i would think about if they double dog dared me though! hehe jk.

Would you save your spouse or your mother first from a sinking ship?!

[Guest]

I hope I never have to make that decision. I'll let someone else answer that one.
...Jennifer...

[Josephine96]

That is way too tough of a question to answer.. I'm currently not married but if this situation were to come up when I was married.. my hands would be tied

[streetsoldier]

Hmm...I'd save one of the serving wenches.

[GalvestonDuck]

No i wouldn't...i would think about if they double dog dared me though! hehe jk.

Would you save your spouse or your mother first from a sinking ship?!

Well, my mom's deceased and I have no spouse. But if both were in existence, I'd have to save my mom first. Doesn't mean I wouldn't save my spouse also. But I'm sure being younger, she'd probably understand the necessity of saving my mom before her.


Question: You accidentally bump someone's car with a shopping cart. The car's cosmetic appearance leaves something to be desired anyway and you can't really tell if the scratch/dent was already there or is your fault. Do you leave a note?

[Guest]

Um, no. lol, actually something like that happened to me once before. I was 16 (just got my license) and took out a mailbox (while I was changing radio stations). I was driving my mom's car and as soon as it happened, all I could think about was how my mother was going to kill me. I just kept driving and went to a gas station to inspect the damage. I had dented the front end of her car. But somehow, I survived. I'm still here, lol. I never did go back to the owner and fess up though. I know, I know, not the nicest thing in the world, but certainly not the worst.

Ok, if you came into a substantial amount of money and had to choose one or the other to donate it to, would you donate the money to your favorite charity or would you donate it to your local schools?
...Jennifer...

[BocaGirl]

Ok, if you came into a substantial amount of money and had to choose one or the other to donate it to, would you donate the money to your favorite charity or would you donate it to your local schools?
...Jennifer...

(Shame on BocaGirl, I have a zillion work things to do and I can't get motivated this morning.............I guess that's the advantage of being the network admin....I can spend a mental health time on the Internet now and then as long as I don't do it too often........ )

Since I can't split the money, I would donate the money to my favorite charity. Charitable donations and corporate giving have been cut way back in the last few years and the charity could use the money. How's this...since we're playing a game, let's say the money totals in the millions.....well then maybe I'd set a foundation that granted scholarships to those who needed them to go to college. I'd work in the community to get additional support.

Now here's a question.....this is a situation that really happened to me and I chose the wrong decision. What would you do if you received a wedding invitation from a distant friend and recognized that the groom was someone you'd gone to high school with several years back. After thinking about the groom for a few minutes, you remembered that after senior year in high school, there had been an "incident" in a local park where a Marine and a his girl friend were enjoying the evening. At the end of the incident, the girl was raped and the Marine was dead. You remembered that the groom had not been charged with the murder but was definitely included in the gang that took part in the criminal proceedings. You called the bride-the person who had invited you to the wedding- and it was clear from the conversation she had NO IDEA about what had happened a few years back. Her husband to be hadn't told her. Would you tell?

(As I said, I made a spot decision that has haunted me for 20 years.)I'm really curious to see what everyone thinks, and I'm greatful for everyone and anyone's opinion.

BocaGirl
Barbara

[Miss Mary]

Geez, whatever happened to questions like - more change back then you deserve? Instead of a single, you get a five!

Barbara, you sure know how to ask a difficult question!!!

I would not go to the wedding. But I would probably not tell the bride about her husband's past. Directly. Now if you wanted to go to the library and search for an article, copying it, mailing it to her w/o a return address, then that would work. You'd be 'telling' her but she wouldn't be hearing it from YOU. You'd be off the hook completely. Yeah, the more I think about it, if I was good at searching up old articles like this, that's what I'd do.

I imagine on some level the bride to be knew about his past. And in his defense, he may have deeply regretted his actions that night. He wasn't convicted as you said, so there was a higher court that decided his fate. You are not his judge and jury.

But then again, if you knew his behavior was questionable after the incident, you still heard rumors, then I'd speak up - directly to the bride. Your relationship with her would be over but then you'd feel you did the right thing.

This was a tricky question!!!

Mary

[GalvestonDuck]

Your turn to ask a Q, Mary.

Barbara -- I'm kinda of confused by one part of the story.

Was the girlfriend raped by the Marine and that's why the others killed him? Or was she raped by the same gang that killed the Marine?

I'm just sort of confused about the motive.

[Miss Mary]

Okay here's one:

While trying to swipe your credit card at the gas pumps, you have trouble. Re-swipe it as the clerk inside the store says over the speaker. You do so and the display says begin fueling. You fill up. Stop, recap your tank and drive off. Then you remember you didn't get your receipt. Do you:

A. Skip it. Your credit card statement will be accurate.

B. Go back asking for it.

C. Realize you just got gas for free, since you thought your card was swiped but wasn't and you were supposed to come inside to pay! You support C because gas prices are high enough and you figure you deserve a free tankful!

Mary

PS - I've actually had this happen to me but thankfully as I was fueling I realized the bill never went thru on my card. The swipe feature wasn't working correctly. I usually hit no receipt anyway. So I could have easily gotten in that car and driven off, without paying.

[GalvestonDuck]

B - because I always like having a receipt to reconcile my bank statement and I get ticked off when can't get one.

I did almost drive off without paying once -- on my drive to KY last Christmas. I usually paid inside, so I could use the facilities, get another Diet Pepsi or coffee, and give my eyes a rest. But on one leg of the trip, I stopped at a restaurant for an actual meal and decent break. Then I drove over to the gas station for a fill-up. I remember thinking to myself that I'd probably have to stop again in a few hours since I just ate, so I wouldn't bother going inside for anything. I pumped the gas, screwed the cap back on, got in the car, started it up, and then realized...oops...I didn't pay yet. I just looped around and parked (as if I was simply moving my car away from the pump so someone else could use it). Then I went in and paid.

Q - You have been attending classes all year. An acquaintance, who rarely shows up, asks to photocopy your notes. Do you consent?

[Josephine96]

I would not allow anyone to copy my notes.. especially if they haven't been in class..

[stormie_skies]

Q - You have been attending classes all year. An acquaintance, who rarely shows up, asks to photocopy your notes. Do you consent?

Depends on how close the acquaintance is, and the circumstances behind their absence. In most cases, I would tell the person tough luck .... but if there were unusually difficult circumstances that caused the person to miss so much school (a dying relative, an injury, etc) then I might offer to help out and at least provide some matierial. After all, I would hope that if roles were reversed, someone would do the same for me...

Q: You are in gridlock on the freeway when you feel your car suddenly lurch forward. Someone has struck you from behind. The two of you pull off the freeway to examine the damage.

Turns out the guilty party is a young man on his way home from his summer job. He looks straight-laced enough, and you can tell he is very upset by what just happened. He says his truck is brand new, and his dad will kill him if he ever finds out about the accident.

Your car is virtually unharmed - no dents, no noticable paint scratching, nothing. His truck has a dented bumper but nothing critical. Do you report the accident to the insurance companies? Call the boys father? Or just walk away?[/quote]

[BocaGirl]

Your turn to ask a Q, Mary.

Barbara -- I'm kinda of confused by one part of the story.

Was the girlfriend raped by the Marine and that's why the others killed him? Or was she raped by the same gang that killed the Marine?

I'm just sort of confused about the motive.

I guess I didn't tell the story very clearly. Here's a more complete version...a few weeks after my high school graduation, a gang of boys wandered into a local park after dark and came across a Marine and his girlfriend. The boys ranged in age from 19 to around 15. No one is really clear who did what because the girl was young too and she was really broken up. But the facts that were in the paper and that went to court were that the Marine was killed while trying to protect her honor and that she been assaulted more than once.

My friend met her fiance years later. He had been one of the younger members of the group and he and twin brother went to Juvenile Hall (we called it Juvi back then). The older members of the group did hard time. I think in the darkness no one was ever clear how the murder happened. Anyway, he was working as a janitor/handyman in the building where she worked and the two hit it off.

She and I worked together for a while but then we sort of lost touch. When I got the invitation to her wedding I was so thrilled at first because I I remembered how much she had always wanted to have a family. At that time the groom's name meant nothing to me. I called her up to congratulate her and say that we needed to stay in closer touch-I hadn't even known she was engaged! Then she said, oh you know my husband to be, he went to your high school.

I read the invitation in my hand and I felt my heart stop. Oh yes....I knew him all right....I remembered that summer vividly. So I said...oh yes..I remeber him, he was involved in that unfortunate incident the summer after I graduated and she said coldly YOU MUST BE MISTAKEN. HE'S NEVER BEEN INVOLVED IN ANY KIND OF UNFORTUNATE INCIDENT OR TROUBLE IN HIS LIFE.

So I let it drop. To make a long story short, she eventually found out the whole story. Their marriage failed. She and I are no longer friends at all-she said she blamed me for not telling her the truth. She really blasted me when she found out.

I have second-guessed myself so many times about this incident in my life over the years. I could have, should have handled this one better. When at some point in the future I meet her in (I hope) Heaven, I will apologize again. Sure it was up to her to find out. But a few words from me could have saved years of grief.

So, now you know the rest of the story.

BocaGirl
Barbara

[Josephine96]

LOLI just read stormie's quote.. Why would someone wanna terrorize themselves lol

[Miss Mary]

Barbara - that's a hard lesson in life to have happen to you. Imagine being your friend though for one minute. Maybe it's a good thing her marriage failed? You didn't break it up you know. But it's very easy to blame someone else instead of the two parties involved. When you explained she told she was engaged and you knew, you went to HS with him, I think I would have had the reaction you did. And I would have spoken up too. While you didn't give all the details, you gave her enough info to investigate on her own. I can't lie, terrible at it. And if you knew the truth/past, many others did too! So try not to be so hard on yourself!

Stormie - in answer to your question, I would stand my ground and call the police. This is public property and you'd be against the law for leaving the scene of an accident. Although you didn't cause it and there isn't any damage to your car, leaving is wrong IMHO. Now if this happened on private property - mall parking lot - then maybe I'd consider leaving.

Trouble is you can't trust people anymore! If it was on private property, who's to say this kid wouldn't be lectured when he got home and his dad might pry your license # out of him. Then you'd be in more trouble than before.

Still say it's best to go thru the proper procedures, if for nothing else, to protect yourself.

To the copying of notes:

If the friend lent you notes when you missed class once or twice and you've studied together, and this friend isn't a cheater, then I'd say why not. If it was someone who skipped class a lot and was looking for an easy way out, then I'd say no. The way to avoid this situation is to take your notes in such a way that only you can understand! I used lots of shortcuts/abbreviations in my notes. I took them in outline form, not sentence after sentence. And for some subjects, such as History, I would have to make a chart to study from for tests and exams. By compiling all of the TM (Test Material, another one of my abbreviations) on a chart, I was reading it a second time. By studying it, I was learning it a third time. Finally, last glance was my fourth time reading it and I got A's by doing it this way. Sounds like a lot of work but hey it helped me.

Mary

[Guest]

Q: You are in gridlock on the freeway when you feel your car suddenly lurch forward. Someone has struck you from behind. The two of you pull off the freeway to examine the damage.

Turns out the guilty party is a young man on his way home from his summer job. He looks straight-laced enough, and you can tell he is very upset by what just happened. He says his truck is brand new, and his dad will kill him if he ever finds out about the accident.

Your car is virtually unharmed - no dents, no noticable paint scratching, nothing. His truck has a dented bumper but nothing critical. Do you report the accident to the insurance companies? Call the boys father? Or just walk away?

I'd let it be (since there was no damage to my own vehicle) and drive away. Both Chad and I have done this on separate occasions. When I was 16 and driving my mom's car (yes again, after the whole mailbox incident) some girl rear ended me. We both got out of our cars in tears and both of us were like "our parents are going to kill us". So we agreed to just leave and pretend like it never happened. My mom's car had a few minor scratches, but hers had a bit of a dent. I wonder how she made out...

Q: Your friend had been diagnosed with a severe illness. She had undergone treatment after treatment, to no avail. The Doctors tell her she is terminal (going to die, anywhere from 6 weeks to 1 year from now). She is now in so much physical pain she says it is not worth living. She can't care for herself anymore or do anything other than lie in bed and feel immense pain. She tells you she just wants it to end now and she will take matters into her own hands shortly by means of sleeping pills. She tells you this because she wants to say good-bye. Do you respect her decision and say your good-byes or do you try and intervene, against her wishes?
...Jennifer...

[stormie_skies]

Q: Your friend had been diagnosed with a severe illness. She had undergone treatment after treatment, to no avail. The Doctors tell her she is terminal (going to die, anywhere from 6 weeks to 1 year from now). She is now in so much physical pain she says it is not worth living. She can't care for herself anymore or do anything other than lie in bed and feel immense pain. She tells you she just wants it to end now and she will take matters into her own hands shortly by means of sleeping pills. She tells you this because she wants to say good-bye. Do you respect her decision and say your good-byes or do you try and intervene, against her wishes?

This is a tough one .... Ive seen too much sickness in my family already ... I would sit my mother down and discuss it with her....make sure that its what she wants and tell her how much I would miss her. Then I would respect her right to make her own decision and leave it in Gods hands, as difficult as that would be. I watched my grandmother die a slow death from Parkinsons disease and my great-grandmother from Alzheimers, and I know that if I was diagnosed with the same thing, I would want to die at an earlier stage - if nothing else, because I would want to say goodbye to my loved ones while I still remembered their names.

OK, that was depressing.

Oh, and I just saw this....

Would you pierce your tongue if someone dared you to do it?

He he he..... Ive actually had mine pierced for six years now... and it doesnt hurt as much as you might think. The toughest part is learning to talk with the jewelry in, but I dont even notice mine anymore...


Q: You are invited to an old college friend's wedding, one you havent seen in years but were always close with. You call her to thank her for the invitation, to RSVP and catch up a little. She gushes about her fiance like any blushing bride-to-be should.....they have been dating for several years and all is blissful....and then she mentions that he went to your high school. You ask his name.

The name rings a bell, but its not for a good reason. The guy your friend is engaged to was accused of raping and beating a girl in your high school. You dont believe he was convicted, but the evidence was certainly serious...

You kind of float this a little ....mention that you thought you remember reading about him in the papers....and your friend flips out. She says he's never been in trouble. Apparently he never mentioned the incident to her.

Do you tell her?