Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by
the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many
years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his
birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value
lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain,
why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't
always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you earn) and reliable
parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in
charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well
intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in
place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a
teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only
worsened his condition. It declined even further, when
schools were required to get parental consent to
administer aspirin to a student; but could not inform
the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted
to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband; churches became
businesses; and criminals received better treatment
than their victims did.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman
failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was
hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a
huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by
two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.
Obituary
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