school...

[vbhoutex]

Been there done that with both my kids. Both were diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. Both were medicated and neither one is now. They often outgrow it. Funny thng is I was diagnosed with ADD by myself and confirmed by my daughters pediatrician after dealing with her(daughter). She was tested outside the school by a specialist. They taught her some coping skills as well. I do recommend getting children with ADD/ADHD in more individualized programs if you can and if the school district offers them. To top off my sons ADD/ADHD he is also profoundly hearing disabeld so we worked with the district all through 12 grades of "special ed"(mainstreamed). Use the district and individual school resources to the max and push them to give you more. Mary, Christine and Drudd have all given very good advice. Use it all and best of luck. Do not expect the schools to offer you the help. ALWAYS advocate for your child to be given help with anything she needs. The school district should have the resources or be able to point you to them.

[Pebbles]

Also, ask to be shown the test they used to determine her disability. My daughter was diagnosed as slow when she started K. After looking at her test, I discovered why. She was shown a group of pictures and asked which one was a sofa, a refrigerator, a spigot, an automobile, etc. She failed -- had she been asked which was the couch, the icebox, the faucet and the car she would have gotten them all right. Sometimes the problem is not a problem but only the environment in which a child grows.

Exactly why I believe in 2 different opinions. Something very similar happened when the school tested my 12 year old when she was 5. She had communication problems (very similar to what Bud was describing with his daughter) with answer the questions. She didn't read well until end of first grade. Now as a 6th grader they can't test her with the regular state exams. They had to give her the SAT.

Bud, I think you will also find many if not all you talk to will say their children who are labeled with 'learning disabilities' actually are quite gifted in one category or another. My brother who had quote "severe" reading comprehension problems (they said he was borderline retarded as a child *rolls eyes*) writes better then me, served in the air force and is extremely socially intuitive. Now he works with high risk teen in a children's home. *beams with pride* I bet you find your daughter is very strong in some aspect. Many times I've thought that maybe sometimes because of this 'labeled' kids communicate differently because their minds work differently... in a very good way!

As for extra money.. it depends on what the exact problem is classified as. If your daughter doesn't have insurance but your income is too high to qualify for Medicaid most states still have a health program for kids she probably will still qualify for. Here in IL they call it KIDSmart and it goes to 180% of the poverty level. It is a very low cost plan, that is the same insurance state employees get, that we used when my husband switched jobs, so the kids were not insured at the time. Was surprised we qualified for it as he wasn't making bad money. I would call your county social service or health department. Ask them if any similar programs are available or if they can direct you to who could tell you what services are available in your county. You can also ask them if she would qualify for any sort of supplementing.

P.S. Sorry my posts are so long, but as you can tell have had to do TONS of advocating and research for my kiddo.

Christine
I smile because i have no idea what's going on!
2005 guess: 15/10/6
<----- Feel free to Rub the cute LUCKY Pebbles belly!

[TexasStooge]

I had that experience when I started 1st grade, believe me.

With a help of the teachers, I manage to stay ahead on grades.

When I was in 6th grade, it was my turn to help the mentally and physically challenged.

[BUD]

A big thankyou for me and my wife on everyone's advise for my daughter's condition. It gives us alot of options. Again thankyou.

[azskyman]

Some great advice here. Nothing much more to add except to really pursue testing you need, and she needs, to be certain that medically, socially, and within your family you are doing the best things you can for her.

I had the good fortune since moving to Arizona to spend a couple years tutoring kids with learning and social disabilities. While I am sure I learned more than they did, I especially saw how hard the struggles were for the parents. Their frustration was sometimes as bad, or worse, than the child's own challenges. And it did not help for them to witness that.

Love your daughter...be patient with her, and mostly just be sure you get the right diagnosis. And then concentrate on working hard within the family to support each other through it all.

I already know she will grow in wonderful ways through the years ahead...just by the messages you share.

[BUD]

The problems she has just puts tears in my wife's eyes when she hears or sees her struggling. My wife seems to blame herself!!!

[vbhoutex]

The problems she has just puts tears in my wife's eyes when she hears or sees her struggling. My wife seems to blame herself!!!

That is typical. I went through that with my wife. We were told our son would be lucky to finish high school, much less go to college when he was 4 yrs old when his hearing disability was discovered. They also told us he had "undiagnosed learning disabilities" that he couldn't be tested for at that age. Long story short my son completed high school and a technical school(equivalent of 101 hrs of college work) and now works as a mechanic for one of the largest fork lift manufacturers in the world. Oh and he was certified CCNA as a junior in high school. Never give up and never blame yourselves. ALWAYS advocate!!!

[Miss Mary]

The problems she has just puts tears in my wife's eyes when she hears or sees her struggling. My wife seems to blame herself!!!

You will have a lot of that, I will warn you. I didn't breast-feed my daughter with ADD. Long story short, I had a chance to, 2 weeks after her delivery (the pills they give you to dry up the milk, only delay it coming in). Sorry for that L & D moment there....LOL Called the OB doc and he said I could switch her from formula to milk, but by then she was so used to bottles, that I didn't (first time trying nursing with her older sister was a complete failure). So naturally thru the years I have really regretted not trying it with Laura. Big time! When she began struggling with reading and in school, I deeply regretted this past decision. Over time, I was the parent who sat down with her to oversee homework. We often used flash cards. All of it was overwhelming to Laura. Maybe I was too intense. Maybe I regretted not nursing her, like your wife I blamed myself for what went wrong. Finally my husband said we needed to switch daughters. He'd work with Laura and I'd help her sister, with homework. It worked out much better. Each parent had certain strengths and weaknesses. With Laura, I could easily see the answer or next step, and she would just stall out. I'd sit there trying to be patient but I guess I conveyed my impatience. My husband was just more patient with her. And now they've settled into a nice give and take way of accomplishing her homework. He doesn't rescue her, I tried that also. An easy fix. He kept saying no, she has to learn this herself. We can't always be with her in class. There were times I had to go take a long bath, play music, to tune out the arguments (you're not there yet).

Just try hard not to blame yourselves. Instead ask what can do now to help her as much as possible. Steve is right - I'm confident you will lend as much help her way as possible. The children without caring, involved parents I really worry about. Your daughter will have struggles it sounds like but she has two very supportive parents to help along the way. Pat yourselves on the back!

Mary

[cswitwer]

She's young-- I would be very vigilant, and make sure you aren't in denial about anything as time goes on. Give her all the support and outside help you can. But consider this-- her brain may just work differently than other people's. It might not mean she has a problem, just that she uses her skills differntly. Be wary of standardized testing.

You never know. Genius is sometimes mistaken... Good luck, and I wish you the best!

[BUD]

As I posted on another topic before, Iam taking another to be here more my daughter. In the first 5 years of Jasmine's life I have missed alot of firsts she has had. I have been on third shift for 5 years. I don't know if not being there for her because of having to sleep in the day might have contributed to school problems??? But I can say me and my wife have always been there for her!!! We will always support her in what ever she does.

[azskyman]

BUD...as I mentioned in my earlier thread, in addition to having the right diagnosis and the best road to treatment, you may also want to consider joining a support group or getting some counseling for yourselves.

Mentioning that your wife is blaming herself for Jasmine's challenges, and now suggesting that you being away on third shift are signs and signals of blaming yourselves. It's natural to think that way...but not a constructive way to help Jasmine or each other. Commit to working on that part of the challenge too.

In reality there is so much that can be done to help Jasmine besides, or in addition to medication.

When I agreed to tutor those kids with ADHD, Aspergers, and other learning challenges, I had no idea how I would do...how I would react...or how they would react.

I fell in love with every one of them. And though some parents actually saw them as "burdens" in their lives, I saw something completely different.

I prayed at my keyboard this morning that your heart and your love for Jasmine will make your family stronger...not divide it.

Steve

[BUD]

Thankyou for all your help and advise!!!