The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[CentralFlGal]

Naked Man Charges Two Moving Cars in Wis.

WITTENBERG, Wis. (AP) - Authorities had no trouble locating the suspect after getting a call about a pedestrian attacking two moving cars. He was the one with no clothes.

Police said the first complaint came in at 9:36 a.m. Thursday after a woman encountered a naked man on a road. As she drove around him, he charged the vehicle, hit the right fender and jumped on the hood, smashing the windshield and breaking off the passenger side mirror, authorities said.

He slid off and was lying on the road but got up into a football-type stance and charged a second vehicle as it approached, damaging a fender.

He then opened the door, climbed in the vehicle and sat down, authorities said.

An ambulance got to the scene ahead of sheriff's deputies and had no trouble with the man, sheriff's Sgt. Staber Cook said.

The 42-year-old man was taken in for medical treatment and psychological assessment, Cook said. His name was not released.

The motorists were not injured.

Isn't it too cold in Wisconsin to be charging cars in the buff? He should've at least waited until spring...

[TexasStooge]

Suspect Ends Up Covered in Pot After Chase

WAXAHACHIE, Texas (WFAA ABC 8/AP) - Wildflowers may not be the only thing sprouting up along a 15-mile stretch of Interstate 35 in Ellis County this spring.

Seeds of an illegal plant were inadvertently sown after a police officer stopped a car with no license plate light early Friday morning and smelled a strong odor of marijuana. When the officer returned to his car and called for backup, the driver drove away, Milford Police Chief Carlos Phoenix said.

As several law enforcement agencies joined the chase, the fleeing driver tore open and threw 17 to 19 bags out of his window.

"There was marijuana flying everywhere," Phoenix told the Waxahachie Daily Light.

After driving over a second set of spikes set out by authorities, the suspect finally stopped and was taken into custody, and he was "literally covered in marijuana," Phoenix said.

Officers picked up two duffel bags, a backpack and three or four gallon-size freezer bags from the interstate, but the wind blew much of the substance and seeds, Phoenix said.

Also, some people with police scanners heard that a man was throwing marijuana out of his car window and drove to the scene to try to retrieve it, Phoenix said.

[TexasStooge]

Border Officers Find Pot in Veggie Cans

SASABE, Ariz. (AP) - Federal authorities seized marijuana that had been stuffed inside vegetable cans that a man was accused of trying to bring through the border checkpoint at Sasabe.

Customs and Border Protection officers inspected the man's truck last week after answers given by the occupants aroused the officials' suspicions, according to a statement from the agency.

The statement said the officers decided to open a can because it looked and felt unusual. They found a package of marijuana inside and began to open the other cans.

Officers also found marijuana in the hollowed-out sides of an ice chest.

They seized 34 pounds of marijuana in all.

The driver was arrested and turned over to immigration agents, according to the release.

[TexasStooge]

Cops Nab Speeders With Pickup, Baby Seat

MOUNT PLEASANT, S.C. (AP) - Even Ponch and Jon from "CHiPs" might be a bit envious of the newest weapon in the never-ending battle to nab speeders.

Police in Mount Pleasant aren't using a Camaro or a Mustang but an ordinary unmarked six-cylinder pickup truck — one with a baby seat at that.

Officer Mathew Pagliarini doesn't know of any other officers who drive unmarked pickups.

Police seized the truck in a drug raid and outfitted it with tinted windows and hidden blue lights. They want to limit descriptions of the make and model so as not to alert motorists.

For many drivers, the first alert is when they see the blue lights flash.

The truck can surprise law enforcement officers as well.

As the unmarked pickup recently sat beside Interstate 526 waiting for speeders, a Transportation Department roadside assistance vehicle pulled alongside to offer help.

"Hey man, you're blowing my cover," Pagliarini said.

Later, as he wrote a ticket for a car clocked at 83 mph, a Charleston County sheriff's deputy stopped to make sure Pagliarini was an officer.

"You never know," the deputy said. "You get some freaks driving around with blue lights. Last night, two guys posing as police officers robbed some folks in North Charleston."

Later, Pagliarini stopped a driver doing 90 mph who said he was late for work.

"I'll be driving slower now for sure," said the driver, who was looking inside the truck that Pagliarini sometimes uses to chauffeur his 1-year-old son when off duty.

"You even got a baby seat in there? Oh, man, I don't believe it," the driver said.
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Information from: The Post and Courier

[TexasStooge]

Man Said to Smash Vehicles Near Hoover Dam

LAS VEGAS, Nev. (AP) - A man was jailed Tuesday on multiple felony charges after he crashed a stolen vehicle into cars including a police cruiser near Hoover Dam, authorities said.

Three federal officers were hospitalized with minor injuries after the Monday chase, but no pedestrians or motorists were hurt, officials said.

"He was ramming vehicles out of his way. That's how it was described to me," said Roxanne Dey, spokeswoman for the National Park Service at Lake Mead.

Joel Kenneth Parker, 46, was accused of speeding through a security checkpoint on U.S. 93 on the Nevada side of the dam, but stopping when a retractable metal barrier popped up in the roadway connecting Nevada and Arizona over the Colorado River.

The barrier was installed as a security measure after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

Officials said Parker reversed the sport utility vehicle and drove toward Boulder City, striking several vehicles along the winding two-lane highway leading from the dam.

He was arrested after the tires of the SUV were flattened by spikes placed across the highway by police from Boulder City and several other agencies.

Authorities said Parker stole the SUV after breaking into a home in Henderson, confronting a 59-year-old woman and taking the keys.

"The only thing he was interested in was finding transportation," Tom Daft, the husband of the woman, told the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

Parker was being held at the Henderson city jail on felony home invasion, kidnapping and auto theft charges.
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Information from: Las Vegas Review-Journal

[TexasStooge]

Police Arrest 11-Year-Old in Robbery Case

OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - Omaha police have arrested an 11-year-old boy as a robbery suspect. The boy, already sought on suspicion of burglary, and a 15-year-old companion were armed with BB guns.

A woman and a teenage girl told police that two boys had fired BBs at their upstairs apartment windows about 7:40 p.m. Sunday.

The boys then forced their way inside the apartment, pointed the BB guns at the woman and the girl and stole tools and compact discs, a police report said.

Shortly afterward the boys were spotted in the area and arrested.

Officer Chris LeGrow, a spokesman for the Omaha Police Department, said Tuesday that he didn't know whether the boy was the youngest armed robbery suspect ever arrested by his department.

But he recalled once having to lift a burglary suspect up to a counter so the boy could sign a police form. LeGrow didn't recall the boy's age.

[rainstorm]

they are starting younger and younger

[TexasStooge]

Woman Accused of Mailing Condom Explosives

BOSTON, Mass. (AP) - A former strip club waitress mailed condoms filled with a potentially explosive mixture to a television station, strip clubs and other places, saying she was tired of being mistreated by men, according to court documents.

In FBI documents unsealed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Boston, Kimberly Lynn Dasilva, 40, said she "couldn't take it anymore."

None of the condoms exploded. They each contained a mixture of drain-cleaning detergent and gasoline, which could explode when combined, authorities said. Dasilva told investigators she did not think they would explode.

On Sept. 21, a suspicious package arrived at the Bridgewater State College admissions office, according to two FBI affidavits. When it was discovered that fluid had leaked from the package, the building was evacuated and the State Police Bomb Squad was called in. A note inside the package said "Boom."

Five more packages containing condoms filled with Drano and gasoline were found the next day at the Brockton postal annex, according to the FBI affidavits. They were addressed to Boston television station WFXT, Boston radio station WXKS-FM, the Outlaws motorcycle club in Taunton, and two strip clubs — Alex's in Stoughton and The Foxy Lady in Brockton.

Dasilva, a single mother of two teenagers who used to work at Alex's and The Foxy Lady, was arrested Friday night after FBI agents and state police troopers raided her home and found letters hidden in the ceiling tiles of her bedroom that allegedly linked her to the mailings.

On Monday, U.S. Magistrate Judge Robert B. Collings released her on a $10,000 unsecured bond and scheduled a hearing in the case for Feb. 23.

When contacted by The Boston Globe on Tuesday, Dasilva referred questions to her lawyer, who had no comment.
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Information from: The Boston Globe

[TexasStooge]

Kitten Goes Undercover in Vet Scam Probe

NEW YORK (AP) - A college student who allegedly deceived pet owners by pretending to be a veterinarian was collared after authorities used an undercover kitten posing as a would-be patient.

Steven Vassall, 28, was arrested last week and charged with treating an untold number of pets without a license, authorities said Wednesday. He was released on $2,500 bail.

Fred, a former stray kitten taken in by prosecutor Carol Moran, went undercover last week.

"He's pretty easygoing, a real Brooklyn guy," Moran said.

An investigator posing as Fred's owner summoned Vassall to an apartment rigged with a hidden camera. Authorities said Vassall told an investigator the kitten could be neutered for $135.

Vassall was arrested after he left the apartment with Fred in a box and the cash.

Investigators later recovered a price list for vaccinations and other procedures, including surgeries.

It was unclear how long Vassall — a college student who once worked as a laboratory assistant in a vet's office — allegedly scammed pet owners.

A call to Vassall's attorney was not immediately returned.

[TexasStooge]

Burglar steals police car from station

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - Detectives in Germany were dumbstruck after a man they had just booked for burglary walked out of the police station and drove off in one of their cars, authorities said Wednesday.

"It's not just unusual, it's embarrassing," said a spokesman for police in the central town of Eschwege.

Police said the 27-year-old must have pocketed the key of the car during his interrogation. After he was charged and released, officers were stunned to see the man easing out of the station in the unmarked vehicle and immediately gave chase.

Three cars, including the stolen vehicle, were damaged in the ensuing pursuit. It ended with the man's re-arrest.

[TexasStooge]

Burglar Eats, Watches TV and Checks E-Mail

WEST BEND, Wis. (AP) - Authorities are seeking a burglar who allegedly took the time to make coffee, cook and eat meals, take showers, pick out a change of clothes, watch television and check his e-mail while inside three rural Washington County homes this month.

"He took clothes and meals," Sheriff Brian Rahn said. "Whatever he was finding in those refrigerators, he was filling up on it."

Sheriff's Department Capt. Dale Schmidt said investigators believe they knows who the burglar is, but he said authorities have not been able to find him since he took a car from the last of the homes that was entered. Schmitz said the man is believed to have left the area.

The burglar left behind other valuables, including jewelry, firearms and electronic equipment, Rahn said.

The burglaries occurred between Feb. 2 and Sunday at homes in the town of Kewaskum, the town of Polk and the town of Wayne, Schmidt said, with the car taken from the home in the town of Wayne in the last of the incidents.

Cash was also stolen in burglaries at two taverns in the town of Wayne and town of Addison during that period, the captain said, but it was not known whether those are related to the home burglaries.

Lori Menzel of the town of Kewaskum said the burglar left his Yahoo account open after checking his personal e-mail on the computer at her home.

"He never logged out," she said, adding: "He made himself at home here. He spent some time in our bedroom trying on my husband's clothes. I could tell he went through some of my clothes."

[TexasStooge]

Philly Bus Driver Tosses Woman Off Bus

PHILADELPHIA, Penn. (AP) - A transit bus driver grabbed a woman by the hair, knocked her head into a pole, opened the door and tossed her into traffic after she yelled at him for missing her stop, police said.

The 52-year-old woman, who was not identified, suffered a broken shoulder.

Bus driver Mario Edney, 53, was arraigned Thursday on aggravated assault and other charges, said Officer Jillian Russell, a police spokeswoman. He was being held on $2,000 bail.

Edney said he had to skip the woman's stop Wednesday morning because of a detour, police said.

Transit officials intend to fire Edney, who has been suspended without pay, following a hearing, said Richard Maloney, a spokesman for the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority.

[TexasStooge]

Thieves Take 186 Tux Jackets, No Shirts

FORT SMITH, Ark. (AP) - Police can't classify a break-in at Beau's Tuxedos as a white-collar crime: the thieves stole only tux jackets.

The burglars broke into two vans early Wednesday at the parking lot of the store on busy Rogers Avenue. Missing were 186 black tuxedo jackets. No shirts or any other items were taken, Fort Smith police spokesman Sgt. Jarrard Copeland said Thursday.

"It's kind of an odd one," Copeland said.

Copeland said it was unclear what inspired the theft, but he hopes the thieves are conspicuous.

"Somebody has them (the tuxes) and somebody is trying to get rid of them," he said. "We hope somebody drops a dime."

The jackets had a value of $26,040.

Police said other vehicles in the parking lot were also vandalized and that a store window was broken at a neighboring business.

[TexasStooge]

US police catch suspected mushroom thieves

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (Reuters) - A gang accused of stealing prized mushrooms from Southern California ranches has been apprehended, police in Santa Barbara said on Friday.

Deputies arrested three men last week after finding a suspicious car in an area where ranchers had complained of systematic theft over a number of years of Chanterelle mushrooms, a wild delicacy prized by chefs.

"There's still going to be mushroom theft in this area, but I expect to see a significant decline now," said Erik Raney, spokesman for the Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Department.

Josef Vychodil, 52 and Lucas Vrana, 29, of Seattle, and Maxim Mikhailytchev, 24, of Vancouver, British Columbia, were arrested on February 3 after Sheriff's deputies in Lompoc, California, about 135 miles northwest of Los Angeles, discovered a parked car registered to Vychodil on the side of a road. All were charged with grand theft.

The car contained journals with mushroom locations and sheets documenting more than $10,000 (5,700 pounds) worth of sold stolen mushrooms, the Sheriff's department said. Also found was tracking equipment suspected of being used to find the mushroom patches each year.

[TexasStooge]

Police: Naked man attacked moving cars

WITTENBURG, Wisc. (Court TV) - Cars in Wittenberg, Wisconsin, faced an unusual threat on the morning of Feb. 2 — Thomas Yellow Thunder.

At about 9:36 a.m., local authorities received complaints that the 42-year-old man had attacked two moving vehicles along a highway. The callers also made sure to report that Yellow Thunder was stark naked.

According to Chief Deputy Steve Conradt of the Shawano County Sheriff's Department, when Yellow Thunder ran into the path of the first vehicle, the driver made every effort not to collide with the man. But Yellow Thunder charged the car, jumped on the hood, smashed the windshield and also damaged a side-view mirror.

After the attack, Yellow Thunder lay on the ground, but reportedly got up and stood in a football-type stance as a van approached the scene. He struck the second vehicle head-on, damaging the front bumper and right fender.

Conradt said Yellow Thunder was intoxicated during the incident, and possibly suffered from mental illness.

"There's some indication that he said he was trying to get rid of demons by jumping on cars," the chief deputy said.

The Wittenberg man was taken to a hospital and treated for non-life-threatening injuries. There are no current charges against him, though he could be cited for sudden pedestrian movement into traffic.

[TexasStooge]

Police say alleged friend of naked man attacked officer

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (Court TV) - Christopher Flaherty can't be blamed for trying to dissociate himself from Scott Simpson. After all, Simpson had just been arrested for walking in the nude.

But Flaherty's attempts to tell Providence police that he had no connection to the naked man went awry and instead landed him in a hospital, where he is facing assault charges.

According to the newspaper the Providence Journal, police arrested Simpson, 19, at about 2:30 a.m. on Feb. 5 after receiving calls that the man was wandering naked near the Providence College campus.

Simpson, who reportedly refused to identify himself, had a cellphone that police used to contact Christopher Flaherty, who they thought was a friend of Simpson.

When Flaherty, 21, arrived at the police station, he denied knowing Simpson, began shouting and became uncooperative, the report said. He was struck with a baton after attempting to bite an officer who tried to handcuff him.

Flaherty was charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and simple assault, and was taken to Rhode Island Hospital. Simpson was charged with disorderly conduct.

[TexasStooge]

Woman allegedly sneaks gun into jail cell

CHILLICOTHE, Ohio (Court TV) - Victoria Lundy has a talent that would probably make Paris Hilton blush.

When a gun went off inside the Ohio woman's holding cell, jail officials were puzzled. An officer had given her a pat-down before transferring her into detention and had found no weapon. So where did the mystery gun come from?

According to Chillicothe Police Captain Thomas Hewitt, Lundy hid the weapon, a 5-inch .25-caliber semiautomatic, in her vagina.

Officers responding to calls of shots being fired on Jan. 30 stopped Lundy, 41, as she attempted to leave the scene in her car. She was arrested for driving without a license and processed at the Ross County Jail. At the time of her arrest, Lundy denied any involvement in the shooting.

Hewitt said Lundy extracted the gun when she went to use the bathroom in her cell. She attempted to conceal the weapon by lodging it in a space in the wall designed to hold toilet paper. When she returned to her seat, the gun fell out of its hiding place and discharged.

Puzzled officers questioned Lundy's cellmate, who said she had observed the woman squirming in the partially partitioned toilet area. Lundy later confessed to hiding the weapon before police intercepted her.

She also admitted to firing the shots that prompted the initial police inquiry, Hewitt said.

Lundy is charged with four felonies, which include conveyance of a firearm into a detention facility and carrying a concealed weapon, and a misdemeanor charge for driving without a license. She is still in the Ross County Jail.

[TexasStooge]

Man skips taxi fare, orders cab from victim

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - After dodging a cab fare, the last thing a man in Germany expected was to be reunited with his victim when he phoned for another taxi, police said Friday.

"The man was too shocked to run off this time," said a spokesman for police in the western city of Bochum. "He took it like a gentleman and admitted the game was up."

Police said that following a series of stop-offs in nearby Herne, the 30-year-old Romanian had ditched his driver without paying and then decided to order fresh transportation from a local taxi firm -- who sent the same man to pick him up.

Recognizing the offender, the driver called police, who arrested the man.

[TexasStooge]

Suspected car thief captured

DALLAS, Texas (WFAA ABC 8/AP) - A 35-year-old suspected car thief was captured late Monday morning, three days after he escaped from custody at Parkland Memorial Hospital.

Deputies found Christopher Kaisler about 11:30 a.m. inside an apartment near the intersection of Holly Hill Drive and Greenville Avenue in North Dallas. He was taken into custody without incident and was en route to Lew Sterrett Justice Center, said Sgt. Don Peritz, a spokesman for the Sheriff's Department.

Kaisler was being treated for a hand injury at the hospital on Friday afternoon when he got away from security guards hired by the county, Peritz said.

Peritz said a guard unshackled Kaisler so he could use the restroom and then the inmate "outran the guard."

[TexasStooge]

Police: Pizza-Eating Suspects Comfortable

MARTINSBURG, W.Va. (AP) - Investigators say four teenagers charged in a string of break-ins at the same Martinsburg home were so comfortable there that they ordered pizza.

And on at least one occasion, three of the suspects allegedly spent the night at the vacant home, which was under renovation.

Stephen Bush, 18, of Falling Waters is charged with two counts of burglary, one count of breaking and entering and one count of conspiracy to commit breaking and entering, according to Berkeley County Magistrate Court records.

James Brooks, 18, and Tiffany Salinas, 19, both of Martinsburg, are each charged with one count of burglary, one count of breaking and entering and one count of the conspiracy charge.

Meagan Volpe, 18, of Martinsburg is charged with one count of burglary.

All the charges are felonies.

Martinsburg Police Patrolman R.R. Bleigh went to the home on Feb. 7 for a report of a burglary. He said he found two damaged doors and an upstairs window with a broken lock. Bleigh also found a pizza box and a television that allegedly belonged to Bush.

The alleged break-ins occurred on several occasions from Feb. 1 through Feb. 9, police said.
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Information from: The Journal