"Hamwinkies" The Crazy News Thread

[TexasStooge]

Drumstick ad doesn't have a leg to stand on...

LONDON (Reuters) - Fast food chain KFC was criticized by the advertising watchdog Wednesday for misleading customers over a promotion for cheap chicken drumsticks.

The Advertising Standards Authority said posters offering a piece of "Spicy Zinger" chicken for 50 pence failed to make clear that the deal was open only to people who also bought a complete meal.

The watchdog upheld complaints from three people, saying small print explaining the promotion was not clear enough.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Get it? "Drumstick", "Leg"...

In other restaurant news:
_____________________________________________________________

French court rules pork soup kitchen not racist

PARIS (Reuters) - A French court ruled Tuesday that an organization with far-right links can continue offering pork soup to the homeless, rejecting police complaints that the food distribution was racist.

Police banned the soup kitchen last month, arguing that the handouts discriminated against Jews and Muslims who do not eat pork on religious grounds.

The administrative court said the distribution was "clearly discriminatory," but could not be stopped because the organizers offered to feed anyone who asked for help.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------

the organizers offered to feed anyone who asked for help.

That's the key phrase.

Moving on from food:
_____________________________________________________________

Female Beefeater: towering milestone for women?

By Kate Kelland

LONDON (Reuters) - The guardians of Britain's historic Tower of London are enlisting girl power for the first time in their 522-year history.

The Tower's Yeoman Warders, commonly known as Beefeaters -- whose ceremonial dress is a distinctive scarlet and gold tunic, white ruff, red stockings and black patent shoes -- have appointed the first female member to their ranks.

"There were six candidates -- five were male and she was the only female," spokeswoman Natasha Woollard said. "She was the best candidate for the job."

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I said "moving on from food..."
_____________________________________________________________

It would be "awesome" if "TomKat" "went missing"

By Andrew Stern

CHICAGO, Ill. (Reuters Life!) - It would be "awesome" if "TomKat" and other combined nicknames for celebrity couples "went missing" in the New Year, a Michigan university said on Sunday in its annual list of cliches deserving banishment.

Lake Superior State University's 32nd annual List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness featured such linguistic gems as "Gitmo" for the U.S. base in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba; euphemisms such as "undocumented alien;" and such Internet-inflected synonyms as "pwn," as in the phrase "I pwn (own) you."

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
It'll be REALLY awesome if "TomKat" went missing.
_____________________________________________________________

No bull: Take a taxi by the horns

By RICHARD PYLE, Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK - For the rest of this week, New Yorkers can take a taxi by the horns. Not just the honking kind, but also the kind that bulls sometime use to flip people bold enough to get on their backs.

Five normally yellow cabs, covered in fake brown and white cowhide and decorated with bull's horns on the roof, lined up outside Madison Square Garden on Tuesday, part of a promotion for a two-day Invitational Bull Riders event on Jan. 6-7.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Isn't that the way we do things in Texas?

[TexasStooge]

Pakistan lifts kite-flying ban

By ASIF SHAHZAD, Associated Press Writer

LAHORE, Pakistan (AP) - Authorities on Thursday lifted a ban on kite-flying in a Pakistan province after the sport was forbidden last year following a series of deaths caused by reinforced kite strings, an official said.

The ban was lifted about a month ahead of Basant, an annual festival that heralds spring and is marked by flying colorful kites in the eastern province of Punjab and its capital, Lahore.

This year's festival will be celebrated on Feb. 25, said Salman Ghani, chairman of Punjab's planning and development department.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------
I'm glad it was lifted, because that's rediculous.
_____________________________________________________________

Mysterious object crashes through roof

By CHRIS NEWMARKER, Associated Press Writer

FREEHOLD TOWNSHIP, N.J. - Authorities were trying to identify a mysterious metallic object that crashed through the roof of a house in eastern New Jersey.

Nobody was injured when the golf-ball sized object, weighing nearly as much as a can of soup, struck the home and embedded itself in a wall Tuesday night. Federal officials sent to the scene said it was not from an aircraft.

The rough-surfaced object, with a metallic glint, was displayed Wednesday by police.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------
UFOs over Chicago, mysterious objects falling through New Jersey, what else?
_____________________________________________________________

Calf saves his hide, escapes slaughter

MUMBAI, India (AP) - A 2-year-old calf saved his own hide on New Year's Day when he refused to be led into a Mumbai slaughterhouse, an animal activist said Wednesday.

The calf was being taken to an abattoir along with hundreds of buffaloes and goats when it charged into a nearby warehouse and kept butchers at bay until he was rescued the next day by animal activists.

J.C. Khanna of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said police called in his team on Monday evening after trying for seven hours to draw the animal out of the warehouse.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------
That was one lucky calf!

[TexasStooge]

Calf with two faces born at Va. farm

RURAL RETREAT, Va. (AP) - One of the newest arrivals at Kirk Heldreth's dairy farm is drawing crowds. A calf with two faces was born Dec. 27 at Heldreth Dairy Farm, and word has spread in southwest Virginia as residents flock to his farm.

The animal is normal from its tail until its unusually large head. The calf breathes out of two noses and has two tongues, which move independently, according to Heldreth. There appears to be a single socket containing two eyes where the heads split.

"It's the craziest thing I've ever seen," the dairyman said.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
It's the craziest thing anyone has seen.
_____________________________________________________________

Mysterious 1870s Wis. photo sparks jokes

By ROBERT IMRIE, Associated Press Writer

WAUSAU, Wis. - Who is that mysterious, elegant man? And why is he sitting on a dead horse? Such are some of the questions sparked by a black-and-white photograph taken in Sheboygan between 1876 and 1884 that has led to nationwide curiosity, speculation and jokes.

It's a 1870s picture of a mustachioed man in a suit and stovepipe hat who sits rakishly on an expired horse in the middle of a dusty, deserted street.

The picture was included in a newspaper's 2007 calendar and the response from readers prompted news articles. From there, it took off on the Internet.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm guessing this guy is sitting on Kevin Federline's rapping carrer.
_____________________________________________________________

Dog lost in Colorado found in Tennessee

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - Seven months after disappearing from her yard in Colorado, a rat terrier named Daisy walked into the arms of Tracie Crass in Knoxville, some 1,300 miles away. Thanks to Crass, Daisy got an airplane ride home.

Crass spotted 2-year-old Daisy wandering down her sidewalk on Christmas night. She assumed the 12-pound dog had slipped out of its home amid holiday festivities, so she brought the pooch on her porch and waited for its owner to come looking for it.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
This dog is qualified for cross country marathons.

[TexasStooge]

They can't dance, so they'll run instead...

By Krittivas Mukherjee

MUMBAI, India (Reuters Life!) - Out-of-job bar dancers in India's financial hub of Mumbai said on Friday they would contest elections to the city council in a bid to overturn a ban on their popular nightspots that robbed them of their livelihood.

Authorities in Maharashtra state, of which Mumbai is the capital, closed down hundreds of dance bars in 2005 saying they corrupted young men and bred crime and prostitution.

The ban saw many of the estimated 75,000 bar girls go away to other states to find work and some reportedly turn to prostitution while many were left jobless.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
You might as well run in the election campaign.

In other election news...
_____________________________________________________________

Candidate wants to squash health rumors

ABUJA (Reuters) - The presidential candidate from Nigeria's ruling party has challenged his critics to a game of squash to prove he is healthy enough to rule Africa's most populous nation.

Umaru Yar'Adua, a reclusive 55-year-old state governor who suffers from a kidney condition, made his first public comments about his health since the People's Democratic Party (PDP) chose him as its flagbearer for next April's elections.

"I am fit and healthy. I will invite them to a game of squash," Yar'Adua was quoted as saying to his critics by Nigeria's main newspapers Friday.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Moving on from politics...
_____________________________________________________________

Bride's joke breaks off Austrian wedding

VIENNA, Austria (AP) - Wedding jokes aren't always funny. When a bride in Austria jokingly answered "no" instead of "yes" when asked if she wanted to marry her husband-to-be, the official performing the civil wedding promptly broke off the ceremony.

Not even the bride's sobs could reverse the decision and the couple had to wait two and a half months before they could give it another — successful — try, the Austrian newspaper Oberoesterreichischen Nachrichten reported Friday.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
That wedding's cancelled. (Imitates Rimshot)

[TexasStooge]

Pa. man gets letter postmarked 1954

FERNDALE, Pa. (AP) - A western Pennsylvania man is trying to solve a mystery that recently landed in his mailbox: a letter mailed more than 50 years ago and addressed to a Frederick Zane Yost.

The letter, with a 3-cent stamp and postmarked Oct. 26, 1954, was encased in a large Postal Service window envelope. There is a return address — in nearby Richland Township — but no sender's name.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
This gives a whole new meaning to "Snail mail".
_____________________________________________________________

'Plutoed' chosen as '06 Word of the Year

ANAHEIM, Calif. (AP) - Pluto is finally getting some respect — not from astronomers, but from wordsmiths.

"Plutoed" was chosen 2006's Word of the Year by the American Dialect Society at its annual meeting Friday.

To "pluto" is "to demote or devalue someone or something," much like what happened to the former planet last year when the General Assembly of the International Astronomical Union decided Pluto didn't meet its definition of a planet.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
How ironic.
_____________________________________________________________

Wis. legislator is longest-serving

By RYAN J. FOLEY, Associated Press Writer

MADISON, Wis. (AP) - Fred Risser jokes about having been in the Legislature so long, the state is tearing down buildings he voted to construct.

The 79-year-old Democratic state senator from Madison has served 50 years — longer than any of the nation's current 7,500 legislators. It became official Jan. 3, when New York Sen. John Marchi retired.

According to the National Conference of State Legislatures, Marchi was elected in 1956, when Dwight Eisenhower was president, Joseph McCarthy represented Wisconsin in the U.S. Senate and a 29-year-old Risser first won election to the state Assembly.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
Now someone else is gonna take his place.
_____________________________________________________________

Bank issues credit card to cat

SYDNEY, Australia (Reuters Life!) - An Australian bank has apologized for issuing a credit card to a cat after its owner decided to test the bank's identity security system.

The Bank of Queensland issued a credit card to Messiah the cat when his owner Katherine Campbell applied for a secondary card on her account under its name.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
Now Messiah can get all the cat food and cat nip he desires.

[TexasStooge]

Woman settles case over flour-filled condoms

PHILADELPHIA (Reuters Life!) - A U.S. college student imprisoned for three weeks for trying to take flour-filled condoms onto an airplane has settled her lawsuit against Philadelphia for $180,000, a city spokesman said on Friday.

Janet Lee, 21, a student at Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania, was arrested at Philadelphia International Airport in 2003 after police and security officials thought the flour was an illegal drug.

She was held in Philadelphia on drug-trafficking charges and released only when tests proved the substance in the three condoms was flour.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------

_____________________________________________________________

Tnx u won't do, say etiquette experts

By Belinda Goldsmith

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Thank you notes, once feared a dying form of correspondence, are making a comeback via e-mail and text messaging but etiquette experts are reluctant to endorse anything but a handwritten note.

Peter Post, a director of the U.S.'s Emily Post Institute that offers etiquette and manners advice, said increasing numbers of people had stopped writing thank you notes and were telephoning instead to thank for a holiday gift or party.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Ingrates.
_____________________________________________________________

Prisoner probably ate parts of cellmate

PARIS, France (Reuters Life!) - A French prisoner who killed his cellmate "very probably" ate some of the victim's body parts, a prosecutor in the northern town of Rouen said on Friday.

The victim's body was discovered in a prison cell on Wednesday, with a large wound to the chest. The alleged killer, who shared the cell, told investigators he had removed and eaten his victim's heart.

Investigators initially discounted the possibility of cannibalism after the victim's heart was "found intact in its usual place and in its membrane which was also intact," Rouen state prosecutor Joseph Schmit said in a statement.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, I'll skip lunch for today.

[TexasStooge]

Scorpions on a plane

TORONTO, Canada (Reuters Life!) - A stowaway scorpion that stung a man on board a plane headed to Toronto caused a delay at the airport as investigators combed the aircraft for further arachnids, an airline spokesman said on Monday.

The scorpion apparently crawled out of the man's carry-on knapsack on American Airlines flight 1552 from Miami to Toronto on Sunday morning, said John Hotard, a company spokesman in Fort Worth, Texas.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------
Coming soon to theaters, "Scorpions On a Plane".
_____________________________________________________________

Arizona residents see rats in toilets

TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) - Residents of a neighborhood next to the University of Arizona say small white rats have been swimming through sewer pipes and into their toilets.

Laura Hagen Fairbanks, spokeswoman for the county's Wastewater Management Department, said she doesn't know where the rodents come from, however they are the kind that researchers use in labs.

University representatives point out that the same type of white rats are sold in pet stores as food for snakes and other animals.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Coming soon to theaters, "Rats In--"
Uhhh....don't go there.
_____________________________________________________________

Texas-based pizza chain accepts Mexican pesos

By Ed Stoddard

DALLAS, Texas (Reuters Life!) - Mexican pesos won't buy you much north of the border. But from Monday they'll buy you a pizza.

A Dallas-based pizza chain which caters to the Hispanic community is accepting the Mexican currency at all of its 59 U.S. stores starting on Monday, giving the greenback some unusual competition at the cash register.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow! Right within my area!
_____________________________________________________________

Man's wallet returned after 62 years

MEXICO, Mo. (AP) - Ray Heilwagen has his wallet back, 62 years after he lost it in France during World War II. Late last year, Heilwagen received a call from Stephen Breitenstein of Palatine, Ill.

"He said, 'Did you lose a billfold?' and I remembered I did," Heilwagen told the Hannibal Courier-Post. "Then he said, 'I found it and will send it to you.'

"I could hardly believe it."

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A chance like this doesn't come along everyday.
_____________________________________________________________

For sale: World's smallest country with sea view

By Paul Majendie

LONDON, England (Reuters Life!) - For sale: the world's smallest country with its own flag, stamps, currency and passports.

Apply to Prince Michael of Sealand if you want to run your own nation, even if it is just a wartime fort perched on two concrete towers in the North Sea.

Built in World War Two as an anti-aircraft base to repel German bombers, the derelict platform was taken over 40 years ago by retired army major Paddy Roy Bates who went to live there with his family.

Full Story here
-------------------------------------------------------
Sounds like a nice country to buy.
_____________________________________________________________

Zoo puts humans on display

ADELAIDE, Australia (Reuters Life!) - An Australian zoo has put a group of humans on display to raise awareness about primate conservation -- with the proviso that they don't get up to any monkey business.

Over a month, the humans will be locked in an unused orang-utan cage at Adelaide zoo, braving the searing heat and snacking on bananas. They will be monitored by a psychologist who hopes to use the findings to improve conditions for real apes in captivity.

Audiences can vote for their favorite "ape" via mobile phone text messages, in the style of reality television shows, and at the end of the month, a "super human" will be selected to represent the zoo.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------
OK, isn't that human cruelty?
_____________________________________________________________

State weighs cutting "idiot" from constitution

PHILADELPHIA, Penn. (Reuters Life!) - New Jersey is to consider cutting the word 'idiot' from its constitution so that people with some mental disabilities won't be barred from voting.

State Senate President Richard Codey introduced a bill on Monday that would remove language from the New Jersey constitution that was designed more than 150 years ago to prevent people suffering from mental illness or handicap from casting their vote in national, state or local elections.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sounds like common sense.

[TexasStooge]

Dolce & Gabbana condemned over knife ads

LONDON (Reuters) - Britain's advertising watchdog criticized Italian fashion house Dolce & Gabbana Wednesday for a campaign showing models brandishing knives.

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), the industry regulator, upheld more than 150 complaints from people concerned that the stylized pictures glorified and condoned violent crime.

One of the two adverts, which appeared in the Times newspaper, showed two men threatening a man in a chair while another lay on the floor with a head wound.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I bet that stabbed like a knife.
_____________________________________________________________

False priest arrested for selling Pope tickets

BRASILIA (Reuters) - A man posing as a Catholic priest was arrested for selling phony tickets to get near Pope Benedict on his scheduled trip to Brazil in May, authorities said on Tuesday.

Erivandro Ferrer de Lima had charged believers 175 reais ($81.78) in cash and another 375 reais in installments for the possibility of "getting close and touching" the Pope, Police Inspector Rosicleide de Castro said by telephone from Fortaleza in the northeastern Ceara state.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
Now that's cruel.
_____________________________________________________________

Attention heirs to throne: Where are you?

LONDON, England (Reuters Life!) - An international quest is being launched for historical heirs to the throne of England.

Advertisements appearing this week in British, U.S., Australian, German and Norwegian newspapers will ask "Can you trace your family tree back to 1066? Might your ancestors have claimed the English throne?"

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
Hmmm...Just might look into this.
_____________________________________________________________

Doctors condemn plastic surgery lottery

By Patricia Reaney

LONDON, England (Reuters Life!) - British surgeons have condemned a plastic surgery lottery that offers winners money for face lifts, breast enlargements and tummy tucks.

London-based Europa International is running what is thought to be the world's first lottery for cosmetic surgery.

For the price of a 1.50 pound ($2.90) text message or phone call, winners of the monthly draw will receive 6,000 pounds toward the cost of the surgery of their choice.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
That isn't gonna work out.
_____________________________________________________________

Grocery staff finds drugs in banana boxes

AMSTERDAM (Reuters Life!) - Dutch supermarket staff found millions of dollars worth of cocaine stashed in banana boxes as they were unpacking them, police said.

The drugs, 50 kilos of cocaine, had a value of 5-6 million euros ($6.5-7.8 million), a police spokesman said.

The drugs were found in the towns of Hoensbroek and Brunssum in the province of Limburg.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------
A secret stash of bananas: $.39
50 Kilos of Cocaine: Almost $7.8 Million
Finding the smugglers: Priceless
_____________________________________________________________

Dracula's castle is for sale for $78M

By ALISON MUTLER

BUCHAREST, Romania (AP) - The Habsburg family said Wednesday that it wanted to sell a Transylvanian castle famous for its connections to the 15th century medieval ruler who inspired "Dracula" for 60 million euros, or $78 million, to the local authorities, an attorney said.

The local council says it is interested in buying Bran Castle, but a government minister criticized the price tag, calling it too expensive.

Dominic Habsburg, the owner, insisted the family had honorable intentions.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Hope it's not cursed.
_____________________________________________________________

Ex-coach allegedly hits students in groin

MONUMENT, Colo. (AP) - A former high school basketball coach faces 39 charges for allegedly hitting male students in the groin, showing them pornography and pouring water on his players then driving them to games in the winter with the windows rolled down.

Gregory Lynn Burr, 28, face charges ranging from sexual assault on a child by one in a position of trust to child abuse resulting in serious bodily injury, according to court documents reviewed by The Gazette of Colorado Springs. One of the students claims to have had scrotal surgery because of Burr's alleged assault.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------
In other sick school news...
_____________________________________________________________

'Butt-printing' teacher fired

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) - A high school art teacher who sparked controversy when his off-hours work as a so-called "butt-printing artist" became known has been fired.

The Chesterfield County School Board, in a unanimous voice vote, decided to terminate Stephen Murmer at a meeting Tuesday night, spokeswoman Debra Marlow said.

The vote came during a nearly three-hour meeting during which the board heard Chesterfield superintendent Marcus J. Newsome's recommendation that Murmer be fired during a portion of the meeting closed to the public. Murmer and his lawyer, Jason Anthony, also had an opportunity to present their case in closed session, she said.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Moving on....
_____________________________________________________________

Man OK after airborne scorpion bite

By DAVID GRAM, Associated Press Writer

MONTPELIER, Vt. - The scorpion bit David Sullivan on the back of his right leg, just below the knee, crawled up through his crotch and down his left leg, he thinks, before getting him again in the shin. Not what he was expecting on his flight home from Chicago to Vermont.

Sullivan, a 46-year-old builder from Stowe, was aboard the United Airlines flight as the second leg of his trip home from San Francisco, where he and his wife Helena had been visiting their sons. He awoke from a nap shortly before landing and noticed something strange.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
Glas he's OK.

[TexasStooge]

Have you seen Nepal? Not really, Peru says

LIMA (Reuters) - Royal Nepal Airlines has apologized to Peru after mistakenly using a photo of the Inca ruins of Machu Picchu to promote tourism in Nepal.

Peru's foreign ministry said in a statement Wednesday the flagship carrier of the Himalayan kingdom, about half way around the world from the Andean country, had put the picture of Peru's tourism icon, Machu Picchu, on a poster under a slogan "Have you seen Nepal?"

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Next time, learn your geography.
_____________________________________________________________

New toilet is flush with fish

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Home renovators looking to bring life to the smallest room in their home now have the chance -- with a toilet that doubles as an aquarium.

The Fish 'n Flush is a clear two-piece toilet tank that replaces a standard toilet tank, with a see-through aquarium wrapping itself around a conventional toilet tank.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
Just make sure the fish don't get flushed.
_____________________________________________________________

Arming TV celebrities raises concerns

By Belinda Goldsmith

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Get some B-list celebrities, give them guns, and put them into a midwest U.S. town as police officers and what do you get? A panning by critics and a town worried about its reputation.

A new U.S. reality TV show on CBS, "Armed & Famous," groups singer La Toya Jackson, wrestling star Trish Stratus, MTV's Jack Osbourne, son of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, "Jackass" actor Jason "Wee Man" Acuna, and actor Erik Estrada, who made his name as a cop on the CHiPs TV series.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------
It was just only one episode, and there's already tons of concerns.
_____________________________________________________________

Couple confesses to killing noisy neighbors

LECCO, Italy (Reuters) - An Italian couple have confessed to killing four neighbors including a toddler after a long feud over noise, a prosecutor said Thursday, resolving a gruesome murder case that has held the country in thrall.

Thirty-year-old Raffaella Castagna, her two-year-old son, her mother and a neighbor were found with their throats slit on December 11 in Castagna's apartment in the wealthy northern town of Erba. Their home had been set on fire.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
All that over noise issues.
_____________________________________________________________

Wedding guests cancel for Saints game

NEW ORLEANS (AP) - Tara Chauffe understands she'll have some competition on her wedding day. She's getting married in New Orleans Saturday evening, the same time the Saints will be playing the Philadelphia Eagles in the Superdome. Chauffe says she's already had a dozen guests who've canceled because of the playoff game.

She knows they have tickets and she's trying to be sympathetic.

But two bridesmaids and a groomsman who have seats for the game are giving them up to attend the wedding.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
(As Jeff Foxworthy) If you cancel your wedding appointments for a football game, you might be a redneck.
_____________________________________________________________

Rabid raccoon attacks woman on porch

ENFIELD, Conn. (AP) - An woman is undergoing rabies treatment after she was attacked on her porch by a rabid raccoon. Beverly Lanouette said the animal came up from behind Monday and latched onto her leg.

"It was a huge raccoon who meant business," she told WTNH-TV. "It was very angry and growling and wouldn't let go of my leg."

She said she beat the animal with a chair to get it off of her. The animal was killed and tested positive for the rabies.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
Ricky Racoon is on steroids!!
_____________________________________________________________

Three pigs trigger fire in rural Serbia

BELGRADE, Serbia (AP) - A farmer's home in northern Serbia was destroyed in a blaze caused by three pigs that broke out of their pen, walked into the living room and knocked over the TV, police said Wednesday.

The television tube burst, starting a fire that spread through the house late Monday in Temerin, 50 miles, northwest of Belgrade, local police said.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------
I guess there's no need for the Big Bad Wolf in this case.

[TexasStooge]

Chewing gum ad becomes Sino-Russia sticking point

BEIJING/MOSCOW (Reuters Life!) - Complaints from the Chinese embassy in Moscow forced an advertising agency to scrap a chewing gum commercial playing on Russian television which featured China's national anthem as backing music.

China's People's Daily newspaper said the commercial for chewing gum produced by Wm. Wrigley Jr. Co. using the "March of the Volunteers" had "harmed the dignity of China."

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
As if the Rosie vs. Donald feud isn't enough...
_____________________________________________________________

Bob Dylan bores me to tears -- Simon Cowell

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (Reuters Life!) - Don't expect to see Bob Dylan joining the celebrities on "American Idol" anytime soon.

One of the show's judges, Simon Cowell, says he has never bought a Dylan record because he "bores me to tears."

The British pop impresario says in the February issue of Playboy that he would "plug my ears and run in the other direction" if he were to see a 21-year-old Dylan singing "Blowin' in the Wind."

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
And we expect anything else coming out of Simon?
_____________________________________________________________

Charity Singapore eatery dishes up "priceless" food

By Miral Fahmy

SINGAPORE (Reuters Life!) - Singapore's Annalakshmi Indian restaurant has all the hallmarks of an expensive night out: the lights are dim, the artwork on the walls authentic, the doors ornately carved and antique.

But instead of a hefty bill, prepare to be greeted by smiling staff who urge you to pay as much as you want and remind you that it's all for charity.

Named after the Hindu goddess of nourishment, Annalakshmi's philosophy is "eat to your heart's content, give as you feel." The vegetarian restaurant, part of a welfare organization, is run largely by volunteers, most of them devotees of Hindu monk Swami Shantanand who preached love for God through service to mankind. "Businesses usually wait until they've made a profit to think about giving to society, but we started giving from the start," Suresh Krishnan, who manages the restaurants, told Reuters.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------
If only it were that easy...

Staying in China:
_____________________________________________________________

China: Teahouse is threat to morality

SHANGHAI, China (AP) - A Shanghai tea house whose name translates roughly as "Frog Keeps a Mistress" has been deemed a threat to public morality and told to get a new moniker, local media said Friday.

The "Qingwa Bao Ernai" shop was violating China's advertising law, the Shanghai Daily and other newspapers said, citing a local commercial bureau official, Xu Jun.

"The name is also against social morality and common ethics," Xu was quoted as saying, adding the change was needed to "purify the city's ad markets."

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------
Man, everything's a threat to morality nowadays.
_____________________________________________________________

Missing tubby tabby returned to owner

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) - A 20-pound cat whose girth got him stuck in a pet door while trying to plunder some dog food was reunited with his owner Thursday.

Owner Geoff Ernest said the tubby tabby, Hercules, went missing while he was in Seattle for a lung transplant six months ago.

Jadwiga Drozdek, who lives in suburban Portland, found the feline stuck in the dog door of her home a few days ago, helped free him and gave him a plate of food on her patio.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------
Any "pet returned to owner" story is a good one.

[TexasStooge]

U.S. skunk seeks ride home: only brave need apply

By Wojtek Dabrowski

TORONTO (Reuters) - Canadian wildlife officials are looking for a brave driver prepared for a 3,500-kilometre (2,200 mile) trip to take a stinky stowaway skunk back to her home in California.

But the skunk, who survived a seven-day journey across the United States and into Canada without food and water, after being accidentally locked away in a transport truck, is having a hard time finding someone to give her a ride home.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
I may be brave, but I'm not that willing.
_____________________________________________________________

Sneakerheads love to show off footwear

By SARAH SKIDMORE, Associated Press Writer

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) - Matt Halfhill is crazy about sneakers. He worked in a shoe store as a teenager, buying shoes on clearance. He has charmed his wife with kicks, buying limited edition pink and red Nikes for her on Valentine's Day. He collects them obsessively, lining the walls of his home with about 500 pairs of shoes. Welcome to the world of the sneakerhead, where shoes reign supreme.

Collectors range from casual fans of sneaker fashion to those who buy and sell shoes like a cardboard-encased commodity. True fanatics will camp out overnight for the latest pair, buy multiple pairs (in case one gets scuffed) and sometimes even wear them.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------
That's taking foot fettish to a whole new level.
_____________________________________________________________

Man aims to become licensed hemp farmer

By DALE WETZEL, Associated Press Writer

BISMARCK, N.D. - David Monson began pushing the idea of growing industrial hemp in the United States a decade ago. Now his goal may be within reach — but first he needs to be fingerprinted. Monson plans this week to apply to become the nation's first licensed industrial hemp farmer. He will have to provide two sets of fingerprints and proof that he's not a criminal.

The farmer, school superintendent and state legislator would like to start by growing 10 acres of the crop, and he spent part of his weekend staking out the field he wants to use.

"I'm starting to see that we maybe have a chance," Monson said. "For a while, it was getting really depressing."

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
Lots a luck!

[TexasStooge]

Roadside rest-stop costs jeweler

VIENNA (Reuters) - Thieves snatched one million euros ($1.3 million) worth of jewelry from the trunk of a German designer's car when he left it to relieve himself.

Jeweler Harald Hardy Herzmann, his security guard and a dog were all on the way to meet customers in the Austrian winter sports resort of Hochgurgl when Herzmann stopped nearby, according to local media.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
It seems no matter where you put your car, you're unprotected.
_____________________________________________________________

Notorious van drivers strike against fines

LIMA (Reuters) - Thousands of van and small bus drivers who negotiate Lima's chaotic traffic to carry millions of people to and from work each day went on a strike on Monday to protest against traffic fines.

Huge crowds were stranded at Lima's bus stops and many others were late for work as the vans and small buses did not appear. Only a few regular buses operated, not nearly enough in this teeming city of eight million.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What have they done that they would deserve that kind of crap?
_____________________________________________________________

Man gets postcard postmarked in 1949

CHARLESTON, S.C. (AP) - A retired police chief who made a career out of solving crimes is puzzled by his latest case, a postcard dated nearly 60 years ago that recently showed up in his mailbox.

Ned Hethington said a plain white envelope containing a faded postcard of an old water wheel from the mountains of North Carolina arrived at his home Dec. 12.

There was no note and no explanation.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------
I've heard of "Snail Mail", but that's rediculous!

[TexasStooge]

Animal party bans mouse poison in parliament

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - The Dutch Party for Animals, which entered parliament for the first time last November, has forbidden the laying of poison to deal with a mouse infestation in its offices, a newspaper reported Wednesday.

The party, which campaigns for animal rights and compassionate farming, will only allow humane traps in the parliament wing where its offices are housed, allowing trapped mice to be released unharmed, the daily De Telegraaf reported.

The Dutch parliament, or Binnenhof, which is centered around a cluster of medieval buildings with turrets and a moat, has a lingering problem with vermin, the paper said.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How else are you gonna catch mice?
_____________________________________________________________

Beijing to close unsanitary restaurants

BEIJING, China (Reuters Life!) - Beijing will shut restaurants that fail to meet basic sanitary standards as part of a drive to ensure food safety during the 2008 Olympic Games, a municipal official said on Wednesday.

The Chinese capital's Health Bureau is in the process of classifying the city's 30,000 restaurants into four grades based on several factors, with the most important being sanitation.

"Any restaurant running without a sanitary license, health certificate or not following the sanitary requirements will be closed starting today," Jin Dapeng, director general of Beijing's Health Bureau, told a news conference.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
Kudos to the Chinese Health Department!
_____________________________________________________________

Not so teenie burqini brings beach shift

By Rob Taylor

SYDNEY, Australia (Reuters Life!) - In a lycra revolution, a cover-all swimming costume is bringing Muslim women on to Australian beaches as lifeguards, unzipping racial tensions which divided parts of Sydney little over a year ago.

The two-piece "burqini," popular in the Middle East, is proving key to a reshaping surf lifesaving Down Under -- once a bastion of white Australian culture and still a heartland of the country's sun-bronzed, heroic self-myth.

"I am Australian so I always have the Australian life style, but now with the burqini it just allowed me to participate in it more. We used to always go to the beach, but now that I have the burqini I can actually swim," Mecca Laalaa, 22, told Reuters.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Another Kudos to Australia!
_____________________________________________________________

Fish tales, wax wails for beauty-mad Singaporeans

By Miral Fahmy

SINGAPORE, China (Reuters Life!) - Would you let skin-eating fish nibble at your toes? Or how about shaving your eyebrows and then re-painting them back on?

Beauty is big business in Singapore, where looking good is something of a national obsession.

Turn any corner in this wealthy, tiny island and you're likely to find a spa, a slimming or manicure parlor, a hair salon or a waxing joint -- or all five next to each other.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------

Would you let skin-eating fish nibble at your toes? Or how about shaving your eyebrows and then re-painting them back on?

How about neither!
_____________________________________________________________

Long arm of the law in handcuff record bid

LONDON, England (Reuters Life!) - Some 400 British police recruits, staff and schoolchildren will bid for a world record on Thursday by handcuffing themselves together to form a giant human chain.

While world records already exist for oddities like the longest handcuffed swim, biggest handcuff collection and fastest escape from a set of handcuffs, no one has apparently attempted mass handcuffing -- at least not in public.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------
This gives the "chain gang" a whole new meaning.
_____________________________________________________________

Escaped chimp gets snack, cleans bathroom

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) - An escaped chimpanzee at the Little Rock Zoo raided a kitchen cupboard and did a little cleaning with a toilet brush before sedatives knocked her out on top of a refrigerator.

The 120-pound primate, Judy, escaped yesterday into a service area when a zookeeper opened a door to her sleeping quarters, unaware the animal was still inside.

As keepers tried to woo Judy back into her cage, she rummaged through a refrigerator where chimp snacks are stored. She opened kitchen cupboards, pulled out juice and soft drinks and took a swig from bottles she managed to open.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
In other chimp news...
_____________________________________________________________

Whose your daddy? Chimp Haven wonders

SHREVEPORT, La. (AP) - It's both a surprise and a mystery. At Caddo Parish's Chimp Haven, where retired male chimpanzees all get vasectomies, a female chimp has turned up pregnant. Chimp Haven managers knew something was up when they could not find one of their chimps last week.

Teresa, who's been at Chimp Haven for the past year and a half, was missing during the morning rounds. Later, she appeared with a newborn chimpanzee in her arms.

"Well, we were all just a little bit surprised when we heard the news," said Linda Brent, a spokeswoman for Chimp Haven.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Looks like a job for Maury Povich.

In other baby news...
_____________________________________________________________

Parents expect large baby, but get three

TUTTLE, N.D. (AP) - Lynette and Dusty Johnson expected to have another large baby, after their first two weighed more than 9 pounds. Instead of one large baby, they got three.

Triplets Marissa, Silas and Anna were born Nov. 14. A community benefit was held last Sunday to help with medical costs and living expenses.

"It touches our hearts that (our neighbors) put other people's needs ahead of theirs," Dusty Johnson said.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
Dang!

[TexasStooge]

Ten fired after radio contest death

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A California radio station has fired 10 staff members after a contest to drink as much water as possible to win a new Nintendo Wii game console resulted in a woman's death, a company spokesman said on Wednesday.

Jennifer Strange, 28, a mother of three, died from water intoxication after taking part in a "Hold your wee for a Wii" competition on a morning radio show on Sacramento station KDND-FM Friday.

She was one of about 20 contestants who tried to outdrink each other without going to the toilet and was reported to have drunk about seven quarts (6-1/2 liters) of water in a bid to win the Wii for her children. She was the runner-up.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why couldn't they just do a simple questionaire?
_____________________________________________________________

Birds may have sparked W.Va. office fire

HUNTINGTON, W.Va. (AP) - A giant bird's nest littered with dozens of cigarette butts is leading investigators to believe that a feathery firebug may have torched a Huntington office building.

Fire Capt. David Bias said a pigeon or another kind of bird may have carried a smoldering cigarette into the Ratcliff Place on Jan. 10. Either that, or the mere volume of decomposing material in the nearly 5-foot-wide nest found in a ceiling may have combusted.

It's just a theory at this point, Bias said, one that he's "taking a good bit of ribbing over."

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Soming soon to theaters, Alfred Hitchcock's "Smokin' Birds".
_____________________________________________________________

Officers use taser to free tangled deer

CANBY, Ore. (AP) - Confronted with a deer whose antlers were tangled in a rope swing at a rural home, two officers saw no good choices. They weren't about to try to free the animal themselves. It weighed several hundred pounds and was thrashing wildly. A bullet in the skull seemed the alternative.

"They thought they were going to have to kill it out of compassion," Lt. Jim Strovink of the Clackamas County sheriff's office said Wednesday. "It was going to die a slow, agonizing death."

Then Deputy Jeff Miller (news, bio, voting record) thought of the stun gun, commonly called a Taser, after its maker, used to immobilize out-of-control prisoners or suspects.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Now we have Miracle Tasers!

[TexasStooge]

Mirror, mirror on the wall, is this dress for me?

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Mirror, mirror, on the wall, does this outfit make me look good, bad, fat or tall?

A New York-based designer has come up with a mirror equipped with infrared technology that sends a live video feed to any cell phone, e-mail account or personal digital assistant device selected by a shopper.

Christopher Enright, chief technology officer for digital design company IconNicholson, said putting these mirrors outside store fitting rooms meant women could go shopping with their friends -- remotely.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, is the fashion police behind me at all?"
_____________________________________________________________

Woman returns after 18 years in jungle

HANOI (Reuters Life!) - A woman has been returned to her home in Vietnam's Central Highlands 18 years after she went missing as an eight-year old girl tending cows near the Cambodian border, her father told a newspaper on Thursday.

Policeman Ksor Lu long believed that his daughter had been eaten by a wild animal until last Saturday when he was told that loggers had found "a forestman" at a village in Cambodia's province of Ratanakiri.

Lu arrived and "recognized his daughter from the first sighting" even though her body was blackened and she had long hair down to her legs and could not speak, according to the account in the Vietnam Rural Today newspaper.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Not to worry, the lion sleeps every night in the jungle.
_____________________________________________________________

Cheat on your spouse in Michigan and spend life in prison?

DETROIT, Michigan (AFP) - Philanderers beware: spouses caught cheating in Michigan could end up spending the rest of their life in prison.

And not the emotional kind.

The state's appeals court recently ruled that extramarital flings can be prosecuted as first-degree criminal sexual conduct, a felony punishable by up to life in jail.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
We should have that same policy in Texas.
_____________________________________________________________

Hair-raising experience for woman on bus

RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - In a new twist in Rio de Janeiro's crime annals, scissor-wielding thieves clipped off the long, flowing locks of a 22-year-old Brazilian woman as she rode in a city bus.

"We got on at the same stop and they sat behind me," sales assistant Mirna Marchetti said. "Then all of a sudden I felt someone pulling my hair. My friend tried to help me but they just cut it off, right at the base."

The thieves also stole her handbag and her mobile phone before escaping, she told reporters Wednesday after the incident the previous night.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Now the Homeland Security needs to add the State of Awareness meter to every bus/train station.
_____________________________________________________________

Celebrities beware. The Strap Police are watching

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - As Oscar season gets underway, followers of fashion are being urged to monitor celebrities on the red carpet and report any out-of-place bra straps to the Strap Police.

With bra straps transformed from a practicality into a hot fashion item, one Web site has set up a name-and-shame service to out celebrities and other women suffering from "ugly bra strap syndrome."

Margarita Reis, who runs bra company Margarita Couture, said the growing range of bra straps -- from clear plastic to colored, encrusted with Swarovski crystals or decorated with flowers -- meant there was no excuse for women to let worn or discolored bra straps slip into public view.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Hear that J.Lo?

[TexasStooge]

No Darling, Spain tells aspiring citizen

MADRID, Spain (Reuters Life!) - A Colombian woman called Darling has been told she cannot become a Spanish citizen because her name is unacceptable.

Years of waiting to obtain Spanish citizenship for Darling Velez, 33, appeared to end with success a few months ago when her application was accepted, but she was shocked when the public registry rejected her name, El Mundo newspaper said on Friday.

Spanish law prohibits names which could expose a person to ridicule or do not clearly indicate gender. Without registering her name, Velez cannot become a citizen.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hmm, what's in a name?

Here's the latest follow-up on the jungle girl story that was recently posted yesterday.
_____________________________________________________________

Cambodian "jungle girl" struggles to adapt

By Ek Madra

PHNOM PENH, Cambodia (Reuters Life!) - A Cambodian woman who went missing in the jungle for 18 years before being found last week is struggling to adapt to life as a human and wants to return to the forest, police said on Friday.

"She prefers to crawl rather than walk like a human," said Mao Sun, a district police chief in the jungle-clad northeastern province of Rattanakiri where the girl's family live.

"Unfortunately, she keeps crying and wants to go back to the jungle," he said. "She is not used to living with humans. We had to clothe her. When she is thirsty or hungry she points at her mouth," he told Reuters by phone.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
That's just sad.
_____________________________________________________________

Bush quotes most notable of 2006 expert says

By Arthur Spiegelman

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - President Bush scored high Thursday on a list he may not be keen to top.

Three of Bush's quotes, led by his "I'm the Decider" remark in April, head 2006's most notable quotations compiled by Fred R. Shapiro, editor of the Yale Book of Quotations.

Bush's comment that "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense" is followed by his State of the Union address quote that "America is addicted to oil" and by his comment on Hurricane Katrina to high school students in New Orleans: "I take full responsibility for the federal government's response."

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I wonder what else he would say this year.
_____________________________________________________________

Stop "nannying" India, censorship critics say

By Jonathan Allen

NEW DELHI, India (Reuters Life!) - Bare breasts, cigarettes, a pole-dancing freedom fighter, Paris Hilton and sexy adverts are just some of things the Indian government has tried to hide from its citizens in the last few months.

Lawmakers say they are simply shielding people from corrupting influences.

But critics say Indian sensibilities are made of sterner stuff, and warn against the country becoming a "nanny state."

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
India, the country that's on the verge of being on an "Unnecessary Censorship" status.
_____________________________________________________________

Ohio city may rename 'South Park'

MARYSVILLE, Ohio (AP) - You don't find fans of Cartman and Kenny on the Parks and Recreation Commission in the central Ohio city of Marysville. The panel has decided it's time to rename a local park that has come to be known as "South Park."

City administrator Kathy House says having a park with the same name as the popular but often controversial cartoon show has become inappropriate.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Just what we need, another "South Park" clone.
_____________________________________________________________

Couples betting 7/7/07 is lucky for love

SACRAMENTO (AP) - Will lucky sevens result in wedded bliss for the lucky in love?

Wedding planners say July 7th — or 7/7/07 — as the date appears in print, has become the most popular day in years to get married.

From vaunted Napa Valley wineries to vistas along Lake Tahoe, California couples have booked up thousands of churches and reception sites hoping to begin wedded bliss on the lucky date.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
With a date like that, you would think that the wedding would take place in Las Vegas.
_____________________________________________________________

TV helicopter pilot saves stranded deer

NORMAN, Okla. (AP) - The pilot of a TV news helicopter used the wind from the aircraft's rotor to push a stranded deer to safety after it lost its footing on a frozen lake and could not get up.

A small crowd had gathered to watch the deer struggling, its hooves repeatedly slipping, near the shore of Lake Thunderbird around 4 p.m. Wednesday.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
It's a split-second decision.

[TexasStooge]

Striking a blow for stress freedom -- and love

SHANGHAI (Reuters Life!) - More than 150 professionals exchanged blows -- and phone numbers -- during a mass weekend pillow fight in a downtown bar in China's financial capital Shanghai.

The event was organized by local dating Web site http://www.2bwm.com and also included various dating games that involved pillows.

The crowd, mostly made up of professionals in their 20s and 30s, held no punches as they walloped each other during the 10-minute fight finale. In the end, there were broken pillows, scattered feathers and a whole lot of tired, but happy, spirits.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
Next week, the same folks are gonna duke it out with tomatoes.
_____________________________________________________________

Are you a giver? Brain scan finds the truth

By Maggie Fox, Health and Science Editor

WASHINGTON (Reuters Life!) - Altruism, one of the most difficult human behaviors to define, can be detected in brain scans, U.S. researchers reported on Sunday.

They found activity in a specific area of the brain could predict altruistic behavior -- and people's own reports of how selfish or giving they are.

"Although understanding the function of this brain region may not necessarily identify what drives people like Mother Theresa, it may give clues to the origins of important social behaviors like altruism," said Scott Huettel, a neuroscientist at Duke University in North Carolina who led the study.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you a giver or a Scrooge?
_____________________________________________________________

Pet shop owner creates beer for dogs

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) - After a long day hunting, there's nothing like wrapping your paw around a cold bottle of beer. So Terrie Berenden, a pet shop owner in the southern Dutch town of Zelhem, created a beer for her Weimaraners made from beef extract and malt.

"Once a year we go to Austria to hunt with our dogs, and at the end of the day we sit on the verandah and drink a beer. So we thought, my dog also has earned it," she said.

Berenden consigned a local brewery to make and bottle the nonalcoholic beer, branded as Kwispelbier. It was introduced to the market last week and advertised it as "a beer for your best friend."

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
Uh-oh! I see that insidious look on Ron White's face. Could it be a late Christmas or Early Birthday present for his dog Sluggo?
_____________________________________________________________

Qantas boots man for wearing Bush shirt

MELBOURNE, Australia (AP) - An Australian man said he is considering suing national carrier Qantas for refusing to let him onto an international flight because he would not take off a T-shirt calling U.S. President George W. Bush a terrorist.

Allen Jasson said on Monday he was turned away last Friday at a Qantas departure gate in the southern city of Melbourne when he tried to board a flight to London while wearing a shirt with the a picture of Bush and the slogan "World's #1 terrorist."

Qantas Airways Ltd. said in a statement: "Whether made verbally or on a T-shirt, comments with the potential to offend other customers or threaten the security of a Qantas group aircraft will not be tolerated."

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Why couldn't he just simply take his shirt off? Certainly he has an undershirt.
_____________________________________________________________

Pa. man's letter brings Secret Service

BETHLEHEM, Pa. - An elderly man who wrote in a letter to the editor about Saddam Hussein's execution that "they hanged the wrong man" got a visit from Secret Service agents concerned he was threatening President Bush.

The letter by Dan Tilli, 81, was published in Monday's edition of The Express-Times of Easton, Pa. It ended with the line, "I still believe they hanged the wrong man."

Tilli said the statement was not a threat. "I didn't say who — I could've meant (Osama) bin Laden," he said Friday.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
OK, that's enough nonlitical political news.

[TexasStooge]

Taxi ride in China: the spitting image

SHANGHAI, China (Reuters Life!) - Taxi drivers in China's financial capital of Shanghai are to be issued with "spit sacks" to curb their habit of rolling down their windows and hawking into the road, state media reported on Tuesday.

Phlegmatic cabbies will soon have a sack fixed to the metal grill that surrounds the driver's seat, so that both they and their passengers can make use of it.

The special sacks will be distributed to 45,000 taxis by the Shanghai Patriotic Sanitation Committee to curb spitting in public places, a habit Chinese authorities have long been trying to discourage.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------
Get it? SPITTING IMAGE!!
_____________________________________________________________

NYC newcomer gets lost for five days

NEW YORK (AP) - A newcomer to the city became hopelessly lost for five days after going for a walk. Damon Mootoo was staying at his brother's house in South Jamaica, Queens, when he decided to go for the stroll last Wednesday, 12 hours after arriving in New York for the first time, the Daily News reported Monday.

The 32-year-old man quickly got disorientated by the confusing streets of Queens.

On Sunday night, after a good Samaritan came to his aid, he was recovering at Jamaica Hospital from dehydration and frostbite.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, that's sad. Glad he's getting treatment.
_____________________________________________________________

Butch forces post office to rerout mail

CASPER, Wyo. (AP) - So far, he's all bark and no bite. But mail carriers aren't taking any chances. They've stopped delivering mail to around 24 homes on Navarre Road because of Butch, a shepherd/chow mix.

Casper Postmaster Susan Gray said Butch has chased carriers eight times since 2002, with the latest incident occurring Jan. 8.

"This dog is very aggressive," Gray said. "Five different carriers have said the dog will come down the road to come get them."

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Look out for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Puppy.
_____________________________________________________________

Tiny London apartment on sale for $335K

By RAPHAEL G. SATTER, Associated Press Writer

LONDON - Location, location, location. Almost anywhere else, the tiny dilapidated studio wouldn't attract much more than mice. But this is London and the 77-square-foot former storage room — slightly bigger than a prison cell and without electricity — is going for $335,000.

The closet-sized space in the exclusive Knightsbridge neighborhood may be only "about the size of a ship's galley, said real estate agent Andrew Scott, who's handling the sale. "But it's permanently anchored to one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the world."

At more than $4,340 a square foot, the mortgage buys a spot within walking distance of tony stores like Harrods and London's iconic Hyde Park. Originally conceived as a maid's room, the apartment at 18 Cadogan Place hasn't been used for years and is littered with trash bags and crumbling paint.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's no way I'm paying THAT much for an apartment.

[TexasStooge]

Shock over disfigurement dating show

AMSTERDAM (Reuters Life!) - The Netherlands, the country that has pioneered reality shows like "Big Brother," is planning a new first -- a dating program for the visibly disfigured.

The broadcaster SBS 6 is seeking candidates for its "Love at Second Sight" show due to be launched on February 20.

"Do you have a visible serious handicap and are you looking for a partner?" says an appeal on its Web site.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
OK, now reality TV has gone WAY too far.
_____________________________________________________________

Court orders drug user to memorize Koran

RIYADH (Reuters) - A Saudi court has ordered a drug user to spend six months memorizing the Koran, but he faces a year in prison if he fails to recite the Muslim holy book by heart, a newspaper said Tuesday.

The "alternative sentence" saves the Saudi man from Jeddah from a six-month jail term, al-Watan said. But that sentence will be doubled if his Koranic recitation classes fail to make him a "hafez," someone who knows the Koran by heart.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, it's not exactly cruel and unusual punishment.
_____________________________________________________________

Boy's screaming kills chickens?

BEIJING, China (Reuters Life!) - Hundreds of chickens have been found dead in east China -- and a court has ruled that the cause of death was the screaming of a four-year-old boy who in turn had been scared by a barking dog, state media reported on Wednesday.

The bizarre sequence events began when the boy arrived at a village home in the eastern province of Jiangsu in the summer with his father who was delivering bottles of gas, the Nanjing Morning Post reported.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Scary!!
_____________________________________________________________

Woman takes potty break, falls in lake

SANDUSKY, Ohio (AP) - A woman going to the bathroom outside lost her balance and fell into Lake Erie, said police, who had to pull her out of the frigid water. Officer Kevin Youskievicz and the woman's friend helped pull her out early Monday and wrapped a blanket around her until an ambulance arrived.

She was treated at a hospital and released.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Too scary!
_____________________________________________________________

Wash. lawmaker: bars shouldn't bar dogs

By RACHEL LA CORTE, Associated Press Writer

OLYMPIA, Wash. (AP) - If dog-loving lawmakers prevail, Fido could soon be sidling up to bar stools around Washington state under a measure that would allow well-behaved, leashed canines to join their human companions as they down their favorite microbrews.

The measure was introduced by Sen. Ken Jacobsen, a Seattle Democrat who got the idea at the Fish Tale Brewpub, formerly known as the Fish Bowl, in downtown Olympia.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This is why people created beer for dogs.

[TexasStooge]

Men arrested for murdering "ghost" brides

BEIJING (Reuters) - Chinese police have arrested three men for killing two young women to sell their corpses as "ghost brides" for dead single men, a Chinese newspaper reported, warning the dark custom might have claimed many other victims.

Yang Donghai, a 35-year-old farmer in western China's Shaanxi province, confessed to killing a woman bought from a poor family for 12,000 yuan ($1,545) last year.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------

_____________________________________________________________

Cannabis bust sinks sailor

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A sailor on one of Russia's flagship nuclear submarines was convicted Wednesday of growing cannabis at his barracks and pushing it to fellow servicemen.

Alexander Panov, who served on the Dmitry Donskoy nuclear submarine, started growing cannabis on the window sill of the barracks over a year ago, Russian news agencies reported.

"When the three plants he was cultivating grew above 1 meter, the sailor brought them into the stockroom," RIA news agency quoted judge Oleg Arkhipov as saying.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Ever get that "sinking" feeling?
_____________________________________________________________

Bizarre toe-gem mystery...

By Mark Bendeich

KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters Life!) - Malaysia has launched its biggest tourism drive since independence under its famous slogan "Malaysia: Truly Asia," but it may as well read "truly bizarre."

Recent visitors to the Southeast Asian nation have read serious newspaper articles about miracle healers and a mysterious giant ape in the country's southern jungles. Now, there is a woman who apparently secretes gem-stones out of her big toes.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Bizarro to the max!!!