I'm moving out.

[conestogo_flood]

I would never join the military, not even in a draft plan.

[bosag]

Well my son, (he's 19) was a bit like you, he came and went as he pleased, left his room a mess, wasnt crazy about school, you know the drill. One day I informed him that I would start charging him rent (only like 100.00 month) when he came back from Cancun. (grad trip w/ a friend and no we did not help pay for this trip either). Well he said a few choice curse words and I told him to leave now.......and he did.

No child of mine curses at me period.

He spent a few nights in his car and a few with friends and finally he found an apt w/ a friend of his. He got a second job to pay bills

Once a month i give him food or other supplies, but I will not give him money, and you know what? We get along better now than when he was living here:).

But really think very hard about what you're doing, it's not going to be easy, and your parents do what they do for a reason.

Barb

[Janice]

You, in my opinion, are doing what is right. It is tough love. Raising children is the hardest job you will ever have and you have to stick with it to the end to get good results.

[dean]

man mike, i didn't know things have gotten this bad. i'm here for ya and wish you the best, no matter what happens. if ya need to talk just shoot me a PM.

[george_r_1961]

As a mother, I see warning signs as to why your dad is watching over you. Skipping school? Not in my house you don't. Have you given your parents any other reason not to trust you? You are living rent free, eat free and have no financial responsiblities yet. Before you move out you'd better get a budget together. Rent, Food, Car, Insurance, emergency fund, utilities.

As for the way your dad is acting there may be an undiagnosed medical condition.

I do hope you can salvage your relationship with your father cuz there will be the day when he's no longer around.

Words of wisdom there!

A2K

Kathy I coudnt agree with you more. As a young adult I did a lot of things I shouldnt have done and it caused a lot of problems between me and my father. Took awhile to patch things up and im glad I did.

[george_r_1961]

It is very expensive to move out. Your first time moving out you are looking at $1200 mininum. You can't find a 1-bedroom apartment for under $500. Plus when you first move out you also need a deposit. And then you got to pay a deposit for water, cable, electricity. And you need furniture, pots, pans, etc... That is why I still have not moved out, yet. And it is not that I don't want to. Because I will be 30 in 5 more weeks and feel that is entirely too old to be still living at home. I just need to pay off my car, credit card bill and loan note which I am half way there on all 3. Get a better paying job that pays at least $10 an hour and want to save up at least $1500 first. I don't want to struggle like some people. Is there anyone you can talk to? A family member or friend that might let you stay with them until things get sorted out with your parents? I do think your parents are a little controlling and extreme. I could not see my parents getting me a baby-sitter at the ages of 17 and 21. That is a bit much. But, please, don't skip school. School is your whole future. To get a good paying job these days, you need the best education you can get.

that's all true, but in addition, i dont know too many places who will rent to someone who isnt old enough to enter into a legal contract.

my son recently turned 18 and did the same thing. he moved out. he is graduating Thursday and has two jobs where he makes about $25K or so total. he thought it out long and hard before he made the jump.

the bottom line is that there are rules everywhere you go no matter how young or old you are. it IS your parents house and it isnt unreasonable that they expect you to follow certain rules.

Excellent point!!!. Mike I have a job that I must report to 5 days a week according to my schedule. If its time to get off and we are busy I must stay..no excuses. My landlord has rules I must abide by; last but not least we ALL have to obey the laws passed by our governments. The world is full of rules; what kind of planet would this be if there werent rules and consequences for breaking them? My parents were pretty strict with me. But I was living in their house..eating their food, and not paying a cent. In return I had to attend school , abide by a curfew, and keep my room clean and help with household chores. Seems pretty fair to me.

[george_r_1961]

IMO,

your dad is doing the right thing. He sees some troubling warning signs, as I also do from what you said. Skipping school? Sign of other problems.

10 years later, you'll thank him for what he is doing

Derek believe me when I finally grew up I thanked mine.

[Derek Ortt]

never had one to thank. Only a mother, but other things (NOT behavioral interfered, which we are still trying to work out)

[MGC]

Another punk kid who blames every problem in their lives on their parents. Another punk kid who has all the answers.

Like one of my punk sons who, in his omniscient wisdom dropped out of school and left home at 17, only to realize he had no clue on survival in today's society. He came crawling back with his tail between his legs a few months later, begging to be allowed back home. Of couse being the softy I am I granted his request with conditions. He had to finish school, keep a job and keep his room clean. Funny how his attitude changed after just a few months of trying to survive on minimun wage jobs, staying with friends here and there, no money for gas, no internet, having to buy his own clothes...ect. At the end of the ordeal, he decided to join the Navy. Now six years later, he is married with two kids, owns his own home and has recently started his own business. I guess my tough love worked. It also taught a lesson to his two younger sons. Both decided to stay in school. I wish you well, but I believe you are making a major mistake......MGC