The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Teacher Sentenced for Slapping Leader

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - An unemployed teacher received a four-month suspended sentence Friday and ordered to perform community service for slapping German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder in the face at a Social Democratic Party event in May.

The court in Mannheim described 52-year-old Jens Ammoser as a "scatterbrain," but said physical assault was an unacceptable way of expressing political discontent.

An program of welfare cuts has unleashed anger against Schroeder's government, and thousands of demonstrators have taken to the streets. Earlier this week, protesters in the eastern city of Wittenberg threw eggs at Schroeder, but missed.

[TexasStooge]

How Would You Like to Meet This Guy?

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - A man caught having sex with a blow-up doll in a busy public shopping arcade had to be physically parted from his rubber lover and escorted away, said police in Stuttgart Wednesday.

The 38-year-old man was caught with his trousers down early Monday evening after alarmed witnesses alerted the police.

"It was real, he was caught in mid-action with the doll," said a press spokeswoman. Police said that they had considerable difficulty separating the drunken man from his partner.

[TexasStooge]

Prison Guards Find Basketball Full of Pot

McALESTER, Okla. (AP) - Basketballs are usually puffed up with air, but somebody found a way of inflating one with a substance usually associated with puffing of another kind.

Oklahoma State Penitentiary officials cut into an exercise-yard basketball and found nearly two pounds of what is believed to be marijuana stuffed inside.

Acting on a tip from McAlester police, prison officials searched the yard and found the basketball, which held 30 one-ounce packets of the leafy substance.

They seized the basketball from the Talawanda Heights unit, which houses 65 minimum security inmates for the prison and sits away from the main part of the facility.

Department of Corrections spokeswoman Linda Morgan said two inmates are on lockdown in connection with the seizure.

Morgan said officials don't know how the basketball got on the prison grounds.

[TexasStooge]

Oklahoma Cop 'Bags' Two on Drug Charges

SHAWNEE, Okla. (AP) - Policeman Jon Arnetts was just doing a good turn when he pulled over a car to alert the driver there was a black bag on top of the vehicle. Then he found out what was in the bag.

It contained a handgun, baggies with a small amount of white Crystal and marijuana, a smoking pipe and several pills.

The two people in the car were arrested on drug charges, and one will also face a weapons charge.

After the vehicle was impounded, police also found a large hunting knife, a butterfly knife and digital scales.

[TexasStooge]

Police arrest bank-robbing romeo

BUTLER, Wis. (Court TV) — Andres Torres says he robbed a bank to impress a woman. Perhaps he was so blinded by love that he failed to notice the police station across the street.

Police in Butler, Wis., charged Torres, 28, with armed robbery after he held up a local bank Aug. 19.

According to Butler Police Chief Mike Olson, Torres told investigators that he had recently met a woman and wanted to woo her with money. He initially planned to rob a bank in nearby Milwaukee but lost his nerve. He settled on a Bank One in Butler instead, but failed to notice the police department opposite the bank.

Torres allegedly walked into the bank around noon wearing a pair of sunglasses and a sweatshirt that partially obstructed his face. He demanded money from a teller and fled with an undisclosed amount, Olson said.

Witnesses recognized Torres' getaway vehicle and called Butler police with tips that led to his arrest. The bank thief admitted to the robbery, but police weren't convinced that his motive was purely romantic.

Police only recovered $100 of the stolen money, Olson said. Torres had spent most of the money, not on his mysterious love interest, but at a local casino.

Torres is being held at the Waukesha County Jail. He faces 40 years in prison if convicted.

[TexasStooge]

Man charged in farmyard romp with pig

OUACHITA, La. (Court TV) — Austin Gullette denies the crime, but police in Ouachita, La., say they have the right man.

They've charged Gullete with having sex with his sister's pig.

According to Major Royce Toney, with the Ouachita Parish Sheriff's Office, Gullette's sister caught the 45-year-old man in the act Aug. 30.

"She heard her pig squealing around 11 p.m. and went out to investigate," Toney said.

The woman reportedly observed her brother engaging in intercourse with her Vietnamese potbelly pig, P-Pie. When she confronted Gullette, he fled into the woods, she said.

Deputies caught and arrested Gullette who denied the incident.

Toney said the eyewitness account and physical evidence found on Gullete prompted the arrest.

Gullete has been charged with committing a crime against nature and is being held without bond at the Ouachita Correctional Center. He faces a fine of up to $2000 and five years in jail with or without hard labor.

P-Pie is under observation at a local veterinarian.

[TexasStooge]

Students caught in fake money scheme

MCMINNVILLE, Ore. (Court TV) - If Counterfeiting 101 were a college course, Andrew Baldwin and Henry Schwartz would flunk badly.

The two Linfield College, Ore., students pleaded guilty to counterfeiting charges after they were caught spending fake ten-dollar bills.

McMinnville Police Lieutenant Rob Edgell said the duo, both 19, printed approximately $200 worth of money on their computers and circulated the fake bills at local convenience stores and fast-food restaurants. But their poor attention to visual detail curtailed their spending spree.

According to the Oregon News Register, the bills were off-color and irregular in size. A sharp-eyed cashier at a fast-food restaurant noticed the poorly printed bills, then took down the students' license plate numbers and contacted police, Edgell said.

Police arrested the novice counterfeiters and found $60 of the remaining fake bills and the original ten-dollar bill.

Baldwin and Shwartz pleaded guilty to counterfeiting and possession of counterfeit money charges. They were sentenced to 10 days in jail, fined $1000 and $500 respectively, and placed on two years probation.

[TexasStooge]

Protester Hurls Cheese at Australian PM

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - A disgruntled voter hurled a bag of cheese at Australian Prime Minister John Howard during a campaign speech on Friday, telling him he would soon be out of a job.

At an election stop on the Tweed River, 500 kilometers (311 miles) north of Sydney, protester Paul Taylor worked his way to the front of a crowd of waiting media before letting rip with his bag of cheese.

The bag landed at the prime minister's feet and did not hurt him.

Howard was speaking to reporters about his plans to support logging communities in the southern state of Tasmania.

Taylor said the Prime Minister should offer the same support to people hit by other forms of industrial deregulation, and then launched into a tirade against Howard and local parliamentarian Larry Anthony.

"On behalf of the working class people in the Tweed I'm going to present this cheese to you because you and your mate are past your use by date and you'll soon be looking for jobs," he said.

It was not immediately clear why Taylor chose to toss cheese at Howard but the protest came just days after allegations surfaced that one of Howard's lawmakers had branded him a "lying rodent." Also, the deregulation of the dairy industry which started in 2000 is a key issue in the region.

[TexasStooge]

Shoppers Foil Juggling Lipstick Thief

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - A man who walked into a shop and amused shoppers by juggling with lipsticks and other expensive cosmetics from its counters faces charges after being spotted pocketing them during his performance, police said Tuesday.

The juggler had bagged more than 200 euros in cosmetics in the store in the western town of Euskirchen when staff realized something was amiss and called the police.

"People watched the 18-year-old man gradually put the items in his bag," a police spokesman said.

[TexasStooge]

Youth Caught Selling Drugs at Police Party

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German teen-ager set himself up for an easy arrest when he offered to sell marijuana to guests at a party full of off-duty policeman, police from the northern town of Eschwege said Tuesday.

"He told people at the party he had cannabis if they wanted to smoke something a bit stronger," said a police spokesman.

A pair of police officers celebrating the birthday of a colleague led the man to an area away from the festivities before making the arrest.

"Police have a private life too. The poor guy picked the wrong customers that night," the spokesman added.

The 17-year-old and two friends had crashed the party at a sports club Friday night. He was not identified.

[TexasStooge]

Robber Uses Pitchfork to Hold Up Bank

AIKEN, S.C. (AP) - A robber who used a rusty pitchfork to stick up a bank got away — and so far, finding him has been like looking for a needle in a haystack.

The man, wearing sunglasses and a mask, entered Security Federal Bank Tuesday morning and threatened employees with the 4-foot-long pitchfork. The man took an undisclosed amount of money.

The robber dropped the farm tool as he ran from the bank through a wooded area to a golf course behind the bank, police said.

Bloodhounds tracked the robber to a fast food restaurant parking lot, where police say the man got into a white van driven by a woman.

No customers were in the bank during the holdup, and no one was injured.

[TexasStooge]

'Spiderman' Sneaks Into Palace

CARACAS, Venezuela (Reuters) - An intruder dubbed "Spiderman" sneaked past tight security at Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's palace to try to contact the populist leader before being nabbed by guards, authorities said on Thursday.

The arrest of the man last week inside Miraflores Presidential Palace followed another recent embarrassment when a group of military guards was drummed out of a personal protection squad for Chavez on charges of insubordination.

Authorities said the suspect made it past several security cordons to a "critical area" in an attempt to hand a letter to Chavez, but never come in contact with the president.

"He was in a zone guarded by our officials. Once he violated the area, immediately he was detained, presented before a court and was later released," State Security police official Alberto Martinez said.

Supporters often try to give Chavez notes and requests at public events.

Ultimas Noticias daily newspaper reported security officials nicknamed the intruder "Spiderman" for his ability to get through several cordons near the president's office.

Chavez, who won a referendum on his rule last month, has beefed up his security since he survived a brief 2002 coup attempt. He has since denounced several plots to assassinate him, often without providing hard evidence.

Last month, 40 soldiers who formed part of the so-called Tactical Support and Reaction Group protecting Chavez were expelled from the palace when they refused orders to leave after being accused of insubordination. One officer told local media the pro-Chavez group was trying to denounce corruption among higher-ranking officers, a charge officials denied.

[TexasStooge]

You Can Steal From City Hall

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) - You may not be able to fight city hall, but you can steal from it — at least for awhile.

John David Woods has been sentenced to 40 years in prison for stealing more than $100,000 from 24 city halls across Texas to pay off Internet gambling debts.

Prosecutors said Woods, 34, had developed a system during the three-year string of thefts: He would rent a car, drive to another town, sneak into the city hall and take all the money he could find.

"He said he felt like it wasn't stealing from people because it was money possessed by the city," Williamson County District Attorney John Bradley said.

Woods, who agreed to the sentence Wednesday, was caught in December at the city hall in the Central Texas town of Cedar Park. A city employee saw him there at about 9 p.m. and called police, said prosecutor Doug Arnold.

Cedar Park police broadened the investigation to more than 30 cities after Woods confessed to similar burglaries.

Arnold said the burglaries began when Woods, a self-employed home appraiser, got into debt by playing craps on an Internet gambling site. His losses were electronically debited from his bank account.

[TexasStooge]

Man Gets 6 Months for Swinging Alligator

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. (AP) - A man who swung an alligator at his girlfriend during an argument was sentenced to six months in jail.

David Havenner, 41, of Port Orange, pleaded no contest to misdemeanor charges of battery and possession of an alligator, said Linda Pruitt, spokeswoman for the State Attorney's Office. He changed his earlier plea of not guilty, she said Wednesday.

He was sentenced to six month in jail with 48 days credit for time served during the Sept. 1 hearing, according to court records.

Sheriff's officials said Havenner was keeping the 3-foot gator in his bathtub and swung it at his girlfriend, Nancy Monico, 39, during an argument on July 16.

Monico told investigators that Havenner beat her with his fists, then grabbed the gator and swung it at her as she tried to escape. The gator struck Monico at least once, after which time Havenner threw empty beer bottles at her and then kicked her out of their mobile home, she told investigators.

Havenner told investigators that Monico bit his hand because she was upset that they had run out of alcohol.

The alligator was later released into the St. Johns River, wildlife commission officials said.


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Information from: The Volusia Review

[TexasStooge]

Accused burglar leaves car and ID at scene

OAKLAND COUNTY, Mich. (Court TV) - Police had little difficulty capturing Patrick Ferrara after he broke into two homes. He left his car and driver's license at the crime scene.

According to a police report, the 47-year-old man, broke into the first home and then into a pickup truck parked in the garage Aug. 26. He allegedly stole some money in the truck but forgot his car keys inside the vehicle.

When Ferrara returned to his car, a silver Jeep, he discovered he had locked himself out. Instead of returning to the truck, Ferrara allegedly broke into a second home, stole the owner's purse and took the keys to her car, a blue Jeep. Ferrara drove away in the stolen car and left his vehicle behind at the crime scene.

Lt. Mike Johnson, of the Oakland County Sheriff's Department, said a deputy noticed Ferrara's silver Jeep during the investigation. Neighbors could not identify the vehicle, but the deputy discovered that the keys found in the pickup truck were able to unlock the car, which was littered with drug paraphernalia.

A search of the console revealed Ferrara's wallet and his driver's license.

An alert was sent out for the stolen blue Jeep. Detectives conducted a search of known drug houses in the area and soon discovered the jeep parked near one, the report said. Ferrara was arrested when he emerged from the house and attempted to enter the jeep.

During his interview, Ferrara admitted being on a crack binge and that he broke into the homes and stole the jeep. He was charged with two counts of home invasion and one count of breaking and entering into an automobile. He is being held on $10,000 bond.

[TexasStooge]

Man jailed in chicken nugget dispute

ASHTABULA COUNTY, Ohio (Court TV) - "Food fight" takes on extreme meaning around Travis Burdette.

The 25-year-old man is accused of assaulting his roommate with a chair after the victim dipped his chicken nugget into Burdette's nugget sauce.

According to Chief Howard Shetler of the Ashtabula County Sheriff's Office, Burdette and his friend, who was not identified, were guests at the Saybrook Township Comfort Inn on Sept. 1. The two men were in the process of eating a late night fast-food meal of chicken nuggets when Burdette went ballistic.

The victim reportedly dipped a chicken nugget into Burdette's dipping sauce. Burdette responded by picking up a chair and beating the man. The nugget dipper suffered fractures to his elbow, hand and an eye socket.

Burdette was not at the scene when police arrived, Shetler said, adding that it was likely the two men had been drinking earlier that night. The victim was treated for his injuries at a nearby hospital.

Burdette was arrested when he returned to the motel a few hours later. He was charged with felonious assault. He is scheduled to appear in Ashtabula Municipal Court Sept. 20.

[TexasStooge]

Bank thief nabbed after strip show

DENVER, Colo. (Court TV) - An alleged Colorado bank robber chose a strange place to switch his disguise. He changed outfits in front of the robbed bank.

According to the Rocky Mountain News, Merle Hatch, 42, walked into a Compass Bank in Denver and demanded money from a teller. After receiving money, Hatch walked out of the bank and then began stripping.

Bank employees said they saw the thief remove his clothing to reveal jogging shorts and tennis shoes before fleeing. Witnesses called police and gave a description of Hatch and his new attire, the newspaper reported.

Minutes after the robbery, police officers patrolling the area saw Hatch jogging back toward the bank with the stolen loot.

Hatch was arrested immediately and expressed surprise at his quick capture.

[TexasStooge]

Man Arrested for Leaving Small Tip

LAKE GEORGE, N.Y. (AP) - Humberto A. Taveras put his money where his mouth is and ended up arrested, accused of leaving an inadequate tip at a restaurant.

Taveras, 41, faces a misdemeanor charge of theft of services after he and his fellow diners argued with Soprano's Italian and American Grill managers over the legality of requiring an 18 percent tip for large parties.

"They chased us down like a bunch of criminals," Taveras said. "It killed our weekend."

Taveras and eight others had pizza at the restaurant in this resort village Sunday night. He said they weren't completely satisfied with the food and left a tip of under 10 percent. Taveras said they also were not told of a mandatory 18 percent gratuity for parties of six or more and did not see notice of it on their menus.

Restaurant owner Joe Soprano said all the menus have the notice, and the waitress informed the group. He said he did not choose to pursue charges because of the money, but because Taveras' group was obnoxious.

"It's unfortunate it has come to this, but this guy was rude and abrasive. They practically threw food at us," Soprano said.

Taveras plans to fight the charge. The arrest raises the issue of whether the gratuities that restaurants automatically tack on for serving large groups are legally enforceable debts.

[TexasStooge]

Slippery floor foils smash-and-grab thieves

By CYNTHIA VEGA / WFAA-TV

Dallas police have three suspects in custody after an daring, early-morning smash-and-grab robbery attempt at a northeast Dallas convenience store.

A stolen van crashed through the window and into the store at Plano Road and LBJ Freeway just before 3 a.m., police said. A surveillance video shows the thieves attempting to use the van as a battering ram to break open an ATM machine.

But the dramatic video indicates that the van lost traction after it entered the business, apparently from liquid spilled on the floor from the impact.

The store's security system—installed just two days ago—alerted owner Rafi Habib. "We just went to bed and the phone rang, and before I knew it, I just had to respond to this call," he said.

Police said three men believed to be involved in the failed robbery were nabbed in a getaway car not far from the convenience store.

"It's a very emotional thing, because we just opened up the store, and that's not a good start," Habib said. "When your livelihood depends on it, it's a very negative thing to take."

Habib said employees would begin cleaning up first thing Monday morning. He said he expects his insurance will cover repairs.

"We just thought we had a very clean store," Habib said. "Now it's just clean up and start from the beginning again."

[TexasStooge]

Men charged with spitting in cop's drink

LUFKIN, Texas (AP) - Two young men face felony charges after one of them allegedly spat in a drink he was serving to an East Texas police officer.

Brian Strban, 19, and Nathaniel Allen Baker, 22, were workers at a Lufkin Sonic Drive-In where the incident allegedly happened Sept. 3, according to a police affidavit.

Both were arrested last week and charged with second-degree felony tampering with a consumer product. If convicted, both could be sentenced to 20 years in prison and fined up to $10,000, The Lufkin Daily News reported in its online editions Monday.

In a statement, a spokeswoman for the Oklahoma City-based Sonic hamburger chain said both workers were fired.

According to the affidavit, the officer ordered a soft drink, but when he received the beverage he noticed several workers inside the kitchen laughing. The police officer, who was not identified, opened the drink and noticed what appeared to be phlegm floating on the surface.

The affidavit says lab tests confirmed his suspicions. It alleged that Strban planned the prank after recognizing the officer as one who had interrupted him and his girlfriend having a romantic interlude at a local parking spot. According to the affidavit, Strban has acknowledged encouraging Baker to spit in the drink.

Police say both suspects have given DNA samples, but no test results have been disclosed.