"Hamwinkies" The Crazy News Thread

[TexasStooge]

Snakes help soothe the joints at spa

TALMEY EL'AZAR, Israel (Reuters Life!) - Hold the Dead Sea salts and tea-tree oil. An Israeli health and beauty spa has introduced a new treatment to its menu -- snake massage.

For 300 shekels ($70), clients at Ada Barak's spa in northern Israel can add a wild twist to their treatment by having six non-venomous but very lively serpents slither and hiss a path across their aching muscles and stiff joints.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------
Soothe customers by how much?
_____________________________________________________________

Huge python makes a meal of 11 guard dogs

KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters Life!) - Guard dogs protecting a fruit orchard in Malaysia have met their match -- a 7.1-metre-long (23-ft-long) python that swallowed at least 11 hounds before it was finally discovered by villagers.

"I was shocked to see such a huge python," orchard-keeper Ali Yusof told the New Straits Times in an article published beneath a picture of the captured snake, which was almost long enough to span the width of a tennis court and as thick as a tree trunk.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I thought you said snakes help soothe the joints at spa!
_____________________________________________________________

Home to set world price record at $155 mln

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - If you're looking for a new home and have $155 million to spare, you could be the proud owner of the world's most expensive abodes.

Forbes.com, the online site of Forbes magazine, on Thursday said timber and real estate baron Tim Blixseth has just upped the ante in the price of the world's most expensive home, planning to build and sell a home for $155 million.

The 53,000-square-foot stone and wood mansion will be built at the Yellowstone Club, a members-only, residential ski and golf resort near Bozeman, Montana developed by Blixseth.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, it's better than $335,000/month on an apartment I presume
_____________________________________________________________

Scientist develops caffeinated doughnuts

DURHAM. N.C. (AP) - That cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a Buzz Donut or a Buzzed Bagel? That's what Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, has come up with. Bohannon says he's developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter taste of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee.

While the product is not on the market yet, Bohannon has approached some heavyweight companies, including Krispy Kreme, Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks about carrying it.

Story Found Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh geez, I'm gonna be wired all day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_____________________________________________________________

New Zealand declares National Lamb Day

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) - New Zealanders' love affair with sheep gained official recognition Friday when the agriculture minister declared Feb. 15 "National Lamb Day." New Zealand has 4 million human inhabitants and 60 million sheep.

Agriculture Minister Jim Anderton suggested New Zealanders had no reason to be embarrassed about their sheep population, and said Lamb Day would mark the 125th anniversary of the first shipment of frozen meat from New Zealand to London.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Mary had a little lamb...BUT I ATE IT!!!"

[TexasStooge]

Wow! This thread has made it to 200 and I didn't even know about it! So to celebrate, this is the 201st Spectacular Crazy News Post.
_____________________________________________________________

Foreigners gobsmacked by Shanghai cab spittoons

SHANGHAI, China (Reuters Life!) - Foreigners are spewing bile at China's latest plan to curb spitting in Shanghai, the country's financial capital, which is slated to host the 2010 World Expo.

Authorities here -- eager to put the city's best face forward while under the international spotlight -- plan to distribute 45,000 "spit sacks" to Shanghai cabbies, to curb the common habit of rolling down the cab window and expectorating onto the street.

But the proposal has foreigners spluttering with rage.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Why? I don't wanna know.
_____________________________________________________________

Saudi appeals court upholds enforced divorce

RIYADH (Reuters Life!) - A Saudi couple have been forced to divorce against their will by a top court because of arcane tribal customs which allowed the woman's family to seek a split, the pair's lawyer said on Sunday.

Abdul-Rahman Al-Lahem said the court had upheld a ruling from a lower court and backed the divorce on the basis of the man's family background.

"The appeals court in Riyadh has supported the divorce because of 'inappropriate lineage'," he said in a statement.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, that's downright mean.
_____________________________________________________________

Kazakh undertakes to bury bad funerals

By Michael Steen

ALMATY, Italy (Reuters Life!) - The row of Italian coffins in a disused cafe reflect Alexander Korzukhin's dream to make death more civilized in Kazakhstan.

An entrepreneurial funeral director, he says he wants to do to the business of death what others have done to consumer goods and shopping in this booming former Soviet republic.

To that end he organized an exhibition of wooden Italian coffins in the biggest city Almaty and, as the founder of the Kazakhstan Association of Funeral Directors, says he wants the business to clean up its act, partly through greater regulation.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
Uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........ain't gettin' free tickets to that exhibit.
_____________________________________________________________

James Bond arrives in China -- neither shaken nor stirred

By Ben Blanchard

BEIJING (Reuters) - Chinese audiences got their first chance to see James Bond in action on the big screen on Monday -- uncut and uncensored.

"Ling ling qi" -- Chinese for 007 -- has never before been officially released in the world's most populous country, and new James Bond Daniel Craig and leading lady Eva Green flew in especially for the event.

"It's been an ambition of mine to get here, and I wish I had more time," a casually dressed Craig told reporters while sipping coffee in a five-star Beijing hotel ahead of the premier.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------
I wonder how Inspector Gadget feels when arriving at China.
_____________________________________________________________

Cats in Vt. prison must go, supe says

By WILSON RING, Associated Press Writer

WINDSOR, Vt. - At the Southeast State Correctional Facility, inmates are subjected to head counts several times a day. Not Ziggy, Marmalade, Smokey and Shane, though — they come and go as they please. They're prison cats — but only for now. They are being involuntarily paroled by the new superintendent of Vermont's largest women's prison, to the chagrin of inmates who feed them, pay for their care and cherish them.

"It is not a physical plant that is conducive to a pet program," said Superintendent Anita Carbonell. "I know a lot of the inmates consider them pets, but they aren't really."

Cats have been fixtures at the farm-turned-prison since the 1980s, sleeping in warm garages and nooks and crannies on the 22-building campus and keeping it mouse-free. The number fluctuated as the prison became a dumping ground for unwanted felines and they found their way under fences, into barns and into the hearts of inmates.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------

_____________________________________________________________

Dog reunites with family after 6 years

ST. LOUIS (AP) - Cujo was a frisky 7-year-old when he sneaked out of his owners' south St. Louis yard in July 2000. Now, thinner and grayer and with a tale that would be fascinating if only he could tell it, the golden retriever is back with the Barczewski family.

"It's a miracle," Noreen Barczewski, 41, said at Friday's reunion. "We found him!"

Six years and a side trip to Columbia can do a lot to a dog, but it was unmistakably Cujo. There was the heart-shaped patch of white on his forehead, the white fur on his toes, his manner of greeting people by rubbing against them cat-style.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------
Glad the dog was found safe and alive after 6 years.

[TexasStooge]

Thieves happier than police?

SEOUL (Reuters) - South Korean gangsters get more satisfaction from their line of work than the police, according to a survey published on Tuesday in local dailies.

According to the survey conducted among 109 jailed mobsters by the Korean Institute of Criminal Justice, 79.3 percent of gangsters said they were somewhat or very satisfied with their life in organized crime.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
Seems the mobsters are winning more and more than the law. Talk about justice, "Carlito's Way".
_____________________________________________________________

Robot parking garage to open in New York

By PETER SVENSSON, AP Technology Writer

NEW YORK - Would you trust a robot to park your car? The question will confront New Yorkers in February as the city's first robotic parking opens in Chinatown. The technology has had a good track record overseas, but the only other public robotic garage in the United States has been troublesome, dropping vehicles and trapping cars because of technical glitches.

Nonetheless, the developers of the Chinatown garage are confident with the technology and are counting on it to squeeze 67 cars in an apartment-building basement that would otherwise fit only 24, accomplished by removing a ramp and maneuver space normally required.

A humanoid robot valet won't be stepping into your car to drive it.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
Then how would a robot drive it?
_____________________________________________________________

Chinese cautiously pole dance their way to fitness

By Ben Blanchard

BEIJING, China (Reuters Life!) - Treadmills are run-of-the-mill -- Luo Lan wants the Chinese masses to pole dance instead.

As manager of Beijing's first pole dancing school, Luo says she is trying to make exercise fun -- and not morally corrupt anyone in a country where this kind of dancing is associated with seedy bars and sex is still a taboo topic.

But she admits she has had a tough time convincing people that pole dancing, which has a celebrity following said to include pop star Britney Spears and heiress Paris Hilton, is great for your health.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Be careful on how you make tose moves, T-Pain will probably be "'N Luv Wit' A Stripper".
_____________________________________________________________

Mysterious ice chunk smashes Florida car

TAMPA, Fla. (AP) - Raymond Rodriguez was changing a tire when an 18-inch chunk of ice plummeted from the sky with a piercing whistle, then a metallic crunch. The ice chunk crushed the roof of a nearby Ford Mustang on Sunday morning. No one was hurt.

"I was scared," Rodriguez said, who was only feet away. "It's crazy, man."

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------
It certainly wasn't a hailstone, that's for sure.
_____________________________________________________________

Psychologist makes patient wear dog

SYDNEY, Australia (Reuters Life!) - An Australian psychologist charged with indecently assaulting a patient told a court on Tuesday that forcing his female patient to wear a dog collar and call him master was within a psychologist's ethical guidelines.

Psychologist Bruce Beaton, 64, pleaded not guilty in the Western Australia District Court to four charges of indecently assaulting a 22-year-old woman in 2005, local media reported.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------
Who's a bad psychologist, you'r a bad psychologist.

[TexasStooge]

French health minister seeks nap study

PARIS (AP) - The French already enjoy a 35-hour work week and generous vacation. Now the health minister wants to look into whether workers should be allowed to sleep on the job.

France launched plans this week to spend $9 million this year to improve public awareness about sleeping troubles. About one in three French people suffer from them, the ministry says.

Fifty-six percent of French complain that a poor night's sleep has affected their job performance, according to the ministry.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Play the "American Idol 6 Reject - Isadora Furman" video and you can guarantee they won't sleep at work.
_____________________________________________________________

Al the tolerant owl moves into Ore. home

EUGENE, Ore. (AP) - Saws buzz and carpenters hammer nails, set up ladders and run an air generator. Al doesn't give a hoot. The brownish Western screech-owl showed up at Laura Fenimore's house as she began adding what will be her new great room.

"I thought the construction noise, the dog or the power tools would scare him off, but the next day he comes right back," said Fenimore, 50, a lawyer who works from home.

But it seems Al is handy to have around. He doesn't make a mess, he isn't noisy and he helps with rodent control.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did ya lock him out, he's only trying to give you Owl Mail.
_____________________________________________________________

Student wants to 'rent' a girlfriend

BEIJING (AP) - A desperate Chinese university student wants to "rent" a girlfriend for 10 days so he can show her off to his parents over the Lunar New Year holiday, state media reported Wednesday.

The physics student, who gave his name as Zhu Lijie, posted a notice on a bulletin board at Peking University offering 1,000 yuan ($130) to a woman who would pose as his girlfriend for the trip home for the holiday, Xinhua News Agency reported.

The advertisement said the woman should be "an honest, kind and similar-aged girl with a diploma."

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hold up, did he say "Rent a girlfriend"? I can get a girlfriend without shelling out money to do so.
_____________________________________________________________

'Bare Nekkid Mainers' enjoy buff bowling

OLD TOWN, Maine (AP) - When members of the Bare Nekkid Mainers rent the Old Town Bowling Center, all they really need are the shoes. "Hey, you can't go skinny-dipping at this time of year," Hessa, who organizes the gatherings and wanted to be identified only by her first name, told the Bangor Daily News.

Self-described naturist nudists, the Bare Nekkid Mainers belong to an international organization and participate in nudist events throughout the year.

The group used to bowl in Albion, but their venue there closed.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, yeah? Well the AMF Irving Lanes are gonna ban that group before they even enter.

[TexasStooge]

Town to immigrants: you can't kill women

By David Ljunggren

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Immigrants wishing to live in the small Canadian town of Herouxville, Quebec, must not stone women to death in public, burn them alive or throw acid on them, according to an extraordinary set of rules released by the local council.

The declaration, published on the town's Web site, has deepened tensions in the predominantly French-speaking province over how tolerant Quebecers should be toward the customs and traditions of immigrants.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
(As Larry The Cable Guy) "I believe that guns don't kill people, husbands that come home early do."
_____________________________________________________________

Massage chairs recalled after fires

TOKYO, Japan (Reuters Life!) - Japan's Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. Ltd. said on Wednesday it would recall thousands of massage chairs for free tests and repairs, saying the chairs could catch fire.

The maker of Panasonic-brand goods said fires destroyed two massage chairs in December and January when power cords inside the chairs' motors emitted sparks.

Such fires would only occur in rare cases, said the maker of the chairs, Matsushita Electric Works, which is 51 percent-owned by Matsushita Electric.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------
Gives a whole new meaning to "heated massage chairs".
_____________________________________________________________

Dogs get own beach on holiday island

NICOSIA (Reuters) - Dogs are to get a beach of their own on the sun-kissed Mediterranean island of Cyprus.

Dogs are strictly prohibited from the holiday island's shoreline to keep the beaches clean for bathers, but Cypriot authorities have decided enough of the dog's life.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------
Well, it's about time.
_____________________________________________________________

Retailer criticized for anti-war e-mail

CHICAGO (Reuters) - A U.S. retailer has been deluged with angry messages since an employee sent an e-mail to an American soldier in Iraq saying "if you were sensible, you and your troops would pull out of Iraq."

Bargain Suppliers of West Allis, Wisconsin, took down its Discount Mats Web site after voice messages and e-mails poured in following the January 16 message to Army Sgt. Jason Hess by the unnamed, and now former, employee.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------
I understand his situation, but he doesn't need to get it out of proportion.
_____________________________________________________________

Woman jailed after reporting rape

TAMPA, Florida (Reuters) - A woman who told police she had been raped was taken to jail because of an outstanding warrant and denied use of a morning-after pill to prevent a potential pregnancy, the woman's lawyer said on Tuesday.

The 21-year-old woman told police she was grabbed by a man and raped on Saturday afternoon after she left a parade.

After police officers took the woman, whose name was not disclosed, to a health clinic they found she was named in a warrant from a juvenile arrest in 2003 in nearby Sarasota, police said.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Now tell me again who the victim is?

[TexasStooge]

Advertising: using the hard shell on consumers

TOKYO, Japan (Reuters Life!) - Which came first -- the chicken or the ad?

In a month-long campaign that began in Japan on Thursday, 1.8-cm (0.8-inch) advertising stickers touting chicken ramen instant noodles will be stuck on the shells of ordinary eggs, sold in packs of 10.

"The chance of people taking the ads directly into their hands is very high this way," said Takako Maruyama, a spokeswoman at public relations firm Sunny Side Up Inc.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
Nothin' beats the Incredible Edible Egg.
_____________________________________________________________

Actor saved in filming accident: it's a wrap

MUMBAI, India (Reuters Life!) - Bollywood's iconic actor Amitabh Bachchan is thanking an elaborate Indian headgear for saving his life after he was kicked on the head by a camel while shooting for a film, a newspaper reported on Thursday.

The 64-year-old actor, playing a royal guard in "Eklavya," a period film about palace intrigue, was shooting a scene in which he had to pass through a herd of 400 camels.

The Mumbai Mirror newspaper said one of the camels suddenly landed a kick on Bachchan's head, leaving him dizzy for a few minutes.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
Whew! Glad he's alright.
_____________________________________________________________

Swans found living in city apartment

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - An elderly Swedish woman has taken animal protection too far by sheltering 11 full grown swans in her small, city center apartment, police said on Thursday.

She said she had been looking after the birds in her 25 square meter (270 sq ft) apartment in Stockholm since 2001 after they had been injured. Police took the swans to a shelter and the woman could face charges under animal protection laws.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
She must be looking for some talkent to do her play called "The Blue Danube". Now she has to sing her "swan song".
_____________________________________________________________

City fights leaky carnival crowd

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters Life!) - Germany's carnival capital, Cologne, has announced a steep rise in fines against urinating in public before this year's festivities that doubles the size of the country's fourth-largest city to over two million.

A spokeswoman for the Cologne municipal authorities, bracing for 1.3 million revelers at Europe's biggest carnival parade, said the fine would be nearly tripled to 35 euros to prevent a repeat of last year's mess when 500 were caught in the act.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------
Urine deep trouble!
_____________________________________________________________

Herpes outbreak triggers wrestling ban in Minnesota

By Andrew Stern

CHICAGO (Reuters) - An outbreak of a contagious rash called herpes gladiatorum among Minnesota high school wrestlers led the state to suspend matches and halt contact practices, authorities said on Wednesday.

The eight-day suspension affecting 7,500 wrestlers on 262 teams was the first time a U.S. state's entire high school program in a sport has been shut down, authorities said.

The Minnesota State High School League acted after 24 wrestlers from 10 schools contracted the rash, which was first noticed and spread at a tournament in December.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
They might as well sit back, relax, and watch "Friday Night Smackdown."
_____________________________________________________________

Big baby causes sensation in Cancun

CANCUN, Mexico (AP) - He is called "Super Tonio," and at a whopping birth weight of 14.5 pounds, the little fellow is causing a sensation in this Mexican resort city.

Cancun residents have crowded the nursery ward's window to see Antonio Vasconcelos, who was born early Monday by Caesarean section. The baby drinks 5 ounces of milk every three hours, and measures 22 inches in length.

"We haven't found any abnormality in the child, there are some signs of high blood sugar, and a slight blood infection, but that is being controlled so that the child can get on with his normal life in a few more days," Narciso Perez Bravo, the hospital's director, said on Wednesday.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the end result? This.
_____________________________________________________________

Man, Yoda the dog travel on riding mower

GARDEN CITY, Utah - Joined by his dog Yoda, Paul Woods travels by day and sleeps in a tent at night. His vehicle: a riding mower. "You've got to be pretty strange and pretty weird to be driving a tractor mower across country," Woods, 44, said.

The Herald Journal of Logan caught up with Woods in the parking lot of Beaver Mountain ski resort, 107 miles north of Salt Lake City, near the Idaho border.

Woods' ultimate destination is Virginia, where he claims his late mother left him a house. He said he took care of her in Alaska until her death.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
It's kind of a "Star Wars" adventure.
_____________________________________________________________

Florida hunter bags a hermaphrodite deer

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) - A DeBary man who was out hunting deer last fall got a big surprise when he took one of his deer into the check station.

Joe Stokes was deer hunting on public land in Sumter County on Nov. 12 and shot two deer, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission reported.

When FWC senior wildlife technician Tim Farley logged in the deer, he discovered that one deer was a hermaphrodite, possessing both male and female reproductive organs. Farley also he logged in another hermaphrodite deer the day before.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------

[TexasStooge]

Doctor gives stripper a hand -- literally

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A doctor pleaded guilty on Thursday to stealing a severed hand, which he gave to a stripper who displayed it in her New Jersey apartment.

Ahmed Rashed faces five years probation for stealing the hand in 2002 from a cadaver at a New Jersey medical school, an assistant prosecutor for Middlesex County said on Thursday.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Another reason why I don't go to strip clubs.
_____________________________________________________________

My wife smokes -- I want an annulment

By Philip Pullella

VATICAN CITY (Reuters Life!) - Smoke got in his eyes. Too much of it, so he asked the Roman Catholic Church to annul his marriage when his wife refused to kick the nicotine habit.

That is just one of the, well, hazy cases that wound up before the Vatican's Sacra Romana Rota, a top court which hears the most complicated of marriage annulment requests.

Others included women who wanted annulments because their husbands were "mammoni" (mamma's boys) who were not able to cut the psychological umbilical cord with their mothers even though they are in their 30s or 40s or beyond.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
If you really want your spouse to quit smoking, just ask for an annulment.
_____________________________________________________________

Wild eagles attack paraglider

By Rob Taylor

CANBERRA, Australia (Reuters Life!) - Britain's top female paraglider has cheated death after being attacked by a pair of "screeching" wild eagles while competition flying in Australia.

Nicky Moss, 38, watched terrified as two huge birds began tearing into her parachute canopy, one becoming tangled in her lines and clawing at her head 2,500 meters (8,200ft) in the air.

"I heard screeching behind me and a eagle flew down and attacked me, swooping down and bouncing into the side of my wing with its claws," Moss told Reuters on Friday.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Which came first, the eagle or the Paraglider?
_____________________________________________________________

Come to Serbia: home to few people and Kazakh

BELGRADE (Reuters) - A commercial promoting Serbia as a tourist destination appears to be jinxed after CNN used the soundtrack for a Kazakh tourism ad as backing music by mistake.

The "Serbia - Moments to Remember" commercial was widely pilloried at home as being boring and misleading for showing Serbia as a land of rolling hills, churches and nature reserves full of wildlife, but apparently devoid of people.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Seems Turner Broadcasting can't get out of trouble.
_____________________________________________________________

Fake employer took women's urine samples

OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - A 36-year-old Omaha man accused of luring women to his home and taking urine samples when they thought they were applying for a job was found guilty Thursday of two counts of criminal impersonation.

Victims told police Kevin Oliver said he worked for cell phone company T-Mobile and was interviewing them for jobs. Prosecutors said there never were any jobs.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------

_____________________________________________________________

Totebag suit against Angels dismissed

SANTA ANA, Calif. - A judge has dismissed a lawsuit claiming the Angels discriminated against men by giving tote bags to women during a Mother's Day baseball game.

Orange County Superior Court Judge Jonathan Cannon ruled Thursday that the giveaway was not biased against men and that the May 8, 2005, event was a way to honor mothers.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Another lawsut is coming...eventually.

[TexasStooge]

Obedient residents in apartments with dead space

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters Life!) - More than 100 German housing association tenants are obediently following tough new rules by agreeing not to use all the space in their apartments to avoid being forced to move out.

The local housing authority in the eastern town of Loebau said on Friday the new regulations stipulate the tenants -- who all live on welfare -- now only qualify for smaller homes.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's no problem, a friend of a friend of mine is a pack rat, so I can send him and his stuff there...wait, I can't, because he's still on probation.
_____________________________________________________________

Latest must-have for baby -- a pram with aircon?

TEL AVIV (Reuters Life!) - Most parents worried about their baby getting too hot in a pram will adjust blankets or head for shade, but one dad wanted a more high tech solution for his young daughter -- a portable air conditioner.

"At first I was trying to cool her off with a hand-held fan. Then I thought of a much simpler idea -- a little air conditioner," Israeli Ofir Ben Aharon told Reuters.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------
That's a nice little invention.
_____________________________________________________________

Philadelphia could get rubber sidewalks

PHILADELPHIA (AP) - A Philadelphia official wants the city council to look at whether the city's sidewalks should be made of rubber.

City councilman Jim Kenney recently toured Chicago to see environmentally-friendly city projects there. He came back with a number of ideas on which he plans to hold hearings.

One is using rubber for sidewalks.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Now the pedestrians there will bounce twice as high!
_____________________________________________________________

Mexican seeks world chili-eating record

By IOAN GRILLO, Associated Press Writer

MEXICO CITY - For most people, even the smallest bite of a raw chili pepper means a flushed face and a rush for a gulp of water. But Manuel Quiroz can guzzle down dozens of Mexico's spiciest chilies, rub them on his skin and even squeeze their juice into his eyes without so much as blinking.

The 54-year-old Mexico City taxi driver said Saturday that he has made thousands of dollars with his talent and wants to become the world champion chili eater. But first he needs to find an organization that can crown him with that title.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Sign me up for that contest!

In other contest news:
_____________________________________________________________

Wis. men win snow sculpting championship

LAKE GENEVA, Wis. (AP) - When people look at a mound of snow, they don't often think of vegetables. Then again, they're not brothers David and Chris Andrews, or Scott Pauli, their cousin.

The three men took the gold medal over the weekend at the United States National Snow Sculpting Championships and the People's Choice Award, besting 14 other sculptures.

Their 10-foot sculpture, called "Veg-Head," had cherry tomato eyes, a peapod grin, bell pepper ears, a jalapeno nose, and a pumpkin-like top.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, you gotta do your best under the cold weather.
_____________________________________________________________

Gambler gives birth on N.J. casino floor

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. (AP) - A woman playing the penny slots Saturday morning left the Resorts Atlantic City casino with her own little jackpot — a new baby boy.

Eight-months pregnant Nyree Thompson, 32, went into labor on the casino floor about 9:30 a.m.

Thompson said she mistook labor pains for gas at first, but after going to the restroom told a security guard that she might be giving birth.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
AWWW!!!

[TexasStooge]

Sex vs clothes: women come out of the closet.

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - For most women, the choice between sex and a new wardrobe is simple -- they go for the clothes.

Women on average say they would be willing to give up sex for 15 months for a closet full of new apparel, with 2 percent ready to abstain from sex for three years in exchange for new duds, according to a new survey of about 1,000 women in 10 U.S. cities.

Sixty-one percent of women polled said it would be worse to lose their favorite article of clothing than give up sex for a month.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
For some men, it's a completely different story.
_____________________________________________________________

Looking for Web fun? Cheddar is better.

LONDON, England (Reuters Life!) - As pastimes go it is in the same league as watching paint dry, with perhaps a frisson of extra excitement.

English firm West Country Farmhouse Cheesemakers has turned a web camera on a rack of its maturing cheddar cheeses to give aficionados a chance to watch in real time the slow process of mold growth for a whole year and without having to leave home.

"It puts watching paint dry in the shade. If you happen to tune in at the right time you will even get to see them being turned," a company spokeswoman told Reuters by telephone.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Programming on Cheddarvision includes "As The Cheese Turns" and "Tom & Jerry".
_____________________________________________________________

Police investigate sexual abuse of corpses

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Australian police are investigating a report that bodies donated to a Sydney university for medical research were sexually abused and that coffins were filled with parts from multiple bodies.

A Sydney newspaper reported Tuesday that University of New South Wales (NSW) documents showed that body parts had been interfered with sexually in the school of anatomy, which had its license to conduct anatomy classes revoked last November over improper labeling and storage of human remains.

The Sydney Morning Herald said university documents showed a staff member fondled breasts and vaginas of bodies and used the head of one body in a degrading way.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------

_____________________________________________________________

Komodo dragon, gift to Bush Sr.

CINCINNATI (AP) - A 24-year-old Komodo dragon given to U.S. President George H.W. Bush as a gift from the Indonesian government has died of an abdominal infection at the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden. Naga, who sired 32 offspring, died Sunday, The Cincinnati Enquirer reported in Tuesday editions.

"He had been ill for about three weeks. He quit eating and got real sluggish in January. We took X-rays and did some blood work, but in the end, we couldn't help him," zoo veterinarian Mark Campbell said.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Poor Bush Sr.
_____________________________________________________________

Dad accused of using stun gun on baby

ALBANY, Ore. (AP) - An Albany father used a 100,000-volt stun gun on his 18-month-old son, police said Monday. Rian Whittman, 23, has been accused of assault and criminal mistreatment. Police said he used it "multiple times" over three weeks. A police spokesman said there were up to 10 instances.

Police said Whittman's wife, 21, who was not named, reported the abuse on Saturday.

The child was treated at a hospital, police said, and then taken into protective custody by the state Department of Human Services.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's just plain cruel.

[TexasStooge]

Ice-creams, vacuums - is a kiss still just a kiss?

By Jill Serjeant

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (Reuters Life!) - There's the flicking kiss, the ice-cream kiss, the vacuum kiss, the Hollywood kiss and another 50 or so smoochy variations.

Who said a kiss was just a kiss?

For everyone who's ever wanted to pucker up like a movie star, French kiss like Johnny Depp, or simply add variety to their love life, help is at hand.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
On Valentine's Day, a kiss is still a kiss.
_____________________________________________________________

Wayward wallaby nabbed in Calif. yard

FONTANA, Calif. (AP) - A wayward wallaby was captured Tuesday after hopping into a backyard in this San Bernardino County suburb about 50 miles east of Los Angeles, authorities said.

Someone called police at about 8:30 a.m. and said, "Hey, there's a kangaroo jumping down our street," Sgt. Doug Wagner said.

The 3-foot-tall marsupial was captured in a backyard by county animal control officers who grabbed it by the tail. Wagner said it appeared to have been domesticated and didn't put up a fight.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Where's that gigantic bouncing mouse?
_____________________________________________________________

290 people run up Empire State Building

NEW YORK (AP) - Germany's Thomas Dold, 22, won the Empire State Building Run-up on Tuesday for the second year in a row. Suzy Walsham, 33, of Singapore, won the women's competition.

A total of 290 runners from around the world, ranging in age from 18 to 77, competed in the 30th annual race up the famed skyscraper.

Dold's winning time of 10 minutes, 25 seconds was just over his 2006 time of 10 minutes, 19 seconds.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Make 10 more people and you have a total of 300.

[TexasStooge]

Candy with a surprise inside! Okay, it's a finger

FRANKFURT, Germany (Reuters Life!) - A man in Germany was put off his Italian chocolate treat when he noticed that a bump in the bar was not a nut but part of a human finger.

"He found a fingertip, complete with fingernail, right in the middle of the bar," said a police spokesman in the town of Mainz, close to Frankfurt.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh great, another lunch-losing story.
_____________________________________________________________

NYC cabbie returns bag of diamond rings

By VERENA DOBNIK, Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK - Never mind diamonds- a New York cabbie was a Texas girl's best friend. The driver returned 31 diamond rings he found in his cab after dropping off the passenger, who had left him with a 30-cent tip on a $10.70 fare.

"All my life, I tried to be honest," said Osman Chowdhury, a native of Bangladesh. "Today is no different."

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
This proves that "Diamonds are Forever".
_____________________________________________________________

Jeans, PJs, shirts -- it's love for women

By Belinda Goldsmith

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - It's a love affair that never ends -- women and their clothes.

As a new survey shows most women would opt for a new wardrobe over sex, women are coming forward in an online contest to confess their undying love for their best jeans, flannel pajamas or cashmere sweaters.

"I love you truly. Never leave me. My Minnesota long winter days would never be the same. I would truly freeze and die without you my love," wrote Susan Gustafson from Forest Lake, Minnesota.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
OK, OK! That's twice they've mentioned that story.
_____________________________________________________________

Malaysia weighs college bathroom courses

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) - It's never too late for toilet training. Some Malaysian colleges may soon offer courses on how to keep public restrooms clean, the national news agency reported Thursday.

The effort is meant to help Malaysia's public lavatories become as hygienic as those in countries such as Britain and Singapore, Deputy Housing and Local Government Minister Robert Lau was quoted as saying by Bernama news agency.

"Clean toilets cannot merely be judged by the eyes," Lau was quoted as saying. "This matter also involves the use of cleaning equipment, soap, fragrances and proper tissues."

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Now That's Toilet training!
_____________________________________________________________

Win cash for hanging with the monkeys

BEIJING, China (Reuters Life!) - A Chinese zoo is running a Big Brother style competition with a difference -- the contestants have to live in a monkey enclosure.

Six people will live with the monkeys in the zoo in the northwestern province of Shaanxi "to experience the lack of freedom the animals have," the China Daily said on Thursday.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------------
(48-hours within the contest)
(Singing) I know a song that get's on everybody's nerves,
Everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves
I know a song that get's on everybody's nerves,
And this is how it goes...

I know a song that get's on everybody's nerves,
Everybody's nerves....
_____________________________________________________________

Website shows you how your job is killing you

SINGAPORE, China (Reuters Life!) - Think your job is killing you? A humorous Web site set up by an online recruiting firm shows you exactly how bad things are.

"Age-o-Matic" from Careerbuilder.com (http://www.careerbuilder.com/age-o-matic) lets you load a photograph, answer a few multiple-choice questions and then shows you the results on the same personal photograph, which is digitally altered to include bald pates, wrinkles and gray skin.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
They've been watching the CareerBuilder.com commercials for too long now.

[TexasStooge]

Where holey hosiery is a holy horror

By Miral Fahmy

SINGAPORE, China (Reuters Life!) - Cut-outs in clothing may be cool, but when in Asia, make sure they stop at your socks.

Holes are the ultimate fashion faux-pas in this region, where taking off your shoes is a courtesy expected at social, religious and professional events.

"Asians routinely take off their shoes before entering holy places, such as temples, and the home -- it's a form of cleanliness, leaving the dirt outside," said Lee Wong, managing director at Asian Welcome, a Singapore-based relocation adviser.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Uhh, my toe nails ripped through 'em?
_____________________________________________________________

Woman breaks tooth, wants town to pay

ABINGTON, Mass. (AP) - Trying to get something done at town hall can be a pain, and for one local woman it was- literally. Joanne Harding broke a tooth on a Tootsie Roll she took from a candy jar in the town clerk's office in Abington Town Hall last month during a visit to get a license for her dog. She now wants the town to help pay her $4,000-$5,000 dental bill.

"I took the candy, so it's partially my fault," Harding, 40, told the Patriot Ledger of Quincy. "I wouldn't have taken it if it wasn't there."

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
It's still her own fault. Why are we paying for her mistakes?
_____________________________________________________________

Truck spills 40 tons of cow intestines

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (AP) - A truck driver distracted by his digital music player tipped his semitrailer on Thursday, spilling about 40 tons of cow intestines onto a major highway in eastern Wisconsin.

Parts of Interstate 43 were closed for about two hours while authorities cleaned up beef byproducts such as intestines and bones, said Sgt. Blaine Spicer of the Sheboygan County Sheriff's Department.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
Good thing I'[ve waited until this evening to post this, otherwise its Barfsville U.S.A. for me.
_____________________________________________________________

Mom allegedly leaves kids in car to tan

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. - Sheboygan police arrested a woman after she allegedly left her two children in a freezing car for 20 minutes while she went tanning.

The 27-year-old woman was arrested after two people spotted the children, ages 23 months and 10 years, in the car, the police department said in a news release. The vehicle was locked but not running.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------
A mother leaving 2 children in the car just to get a tan. What's wrong with that picture?

[TexasStooge]

I'm glad to announce that this is the Valentine's Day edition of "Hamwinkies"!

Viagra sold over counter in UK on Valentine's Day

LONDON (Reuters) - Men will be able to buy impotence treatment Viagra over the counter in Britain for the first time from Valentine's Day, chemist chain Alliance Boots said on Sunday.

Three Manchester Boots pharmacies will sell the prescription-only medication made by U.S. drugs group Pfizer in a pilot program from February 14.

Men aged between 30 and 65 suffering from erectile dysfunction will be able to buy four Viagra pills for 50 pounds ($97) without having to get a prescription from a doctor first.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Like I need Viagra on Valentine's Day.
_____________________________________________________________

Card makers capitalize on 'anti-V Day'

By CONNIE MABIN, AP Business Writer

CLEVELAND, Ohio - For Lori Schwartz, a happy mom with a decade of wedded bliss under her belt, the greeting card featuring a bloodied, ripped out heart was perfect.

"It's Valentine's Day, so here's a card with a heart inside," it read. "I'd tell you whose it is, but the less you know, the better."

"My husband and I never get nice cards for each other. We're not into sentiments," Schwartz said while perusing an aisle of "anti-Valentine's Day" cards at an American Greetings Corp. store. "I expect to get something just as bad, but I may have one upped him this year."

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anti-Valentine's Day, a day for love-sick people.
_____________________________________________________________

6,124 couples kiss, break world record

MANILA, Philippines (AP) - More than 6,000 couples kissed simultaneously at midnight Saturday in the Philippines with organizers of the event claiming to have set a new world record.

Organizers of the annual pre-Valentine's Day celebration said they broke the record held by Hungary, where 5,875 couples kissed simultaneously in Budapest in 2005.

"We broke the record, it's great," said Howard Belton, a Briton who spearheaded the event.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, but bet they can't beat New York's couple kissing record on New Year's Eve.
_____________________________________________________________

Postmaster shows lot of love in Fidelity

By JIM SUHR, Associated Press Writer

FIDELITY, Ill. - Among thousands of Valentine's Day mailings that have gravitated to this place over the years for the postmark so fitting for the holiday, a widow's loving plea instantly grabbed Peggy Ruyle's heartstrings.

Tucked in with a stamped, self-addressed envelope to be given the Fidelity postmark, the old woman's note lamented losing her husband a year ago, six days after his 85th birthday and just months before the two would have marked 64 years as husband and wife.

"Among the flowers I will put on his grave" this month, the widow wrote, "I want to include this envelope stamped `Fidelity.'"

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
All the love: Signed, sealed, and delivered.
_____________________________________________________________

Online ads: the lovers' lost and found

By Jacqui Gal

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Ever locked eyes with a stranger on a train or in a store, become quickly intrigued, and later regretted not even saying "hello."

In a fast-paced world growing ever faster online, the Web is replacing the newspaper personal ad as a place where people can act belatedly on that moment of magical chemistry -- with some fleeting encounters even leading to marriage.

At social networking and advertising site Craigslist.org, a subsection called Missed Connections, is rapidly becoming a destination for second chance encounters, and its ads tell tales of infatuation, hope, frustration and love.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Leaving the Valentine's Day topic...
_____________________________________________________________

Bear visits backyard in New Jersey

MAPLEWOOD, N.J. (AP) - The last thing Lorraine Grossman expected to see as she gazed out the kitchen window of her daughter's home was a 211-pound bear.

"I was making a pot of coffee, and I turned around and there he was in the window looking at me," said Grossman. "For a minute I didn't realize there was a glass between him and me."

The scream Grossman let out was loud enough to startle the wandering bear, who turned tail and scurried some 40 feet up a tree.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is no Yogi Bear, but he can steal your picnic baskets.
_____________________________________________________________

Truck spills 165,000 eggs on Va. highway

By LUBNA TAKRURI, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - Drivers on their way to breakfast in northern Virginia on Saturday found it all over the road after nearly 165,000 eggs spilled out of an overturned tractor-trailer on the Capital Beltway.

"It looked like a large omelet," said Michael Karbonski, of the Virginia Department of Transportation.

The tractor-trailer crashed into a guard rail just after midnight Saturday, spilling its runny load and forcing officials to close an exit ramp to Interstate 66 and the far left lane of Interstate 495 north for several hours. Everything reopened just after 11 a.m.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's because it IS an omelet.
Now is the good time to use TrafficPulse and find a free breakfast on the road.

This is also a healthy reminder that Easter is just around the corner in Spring.

[TexasStooge]

Belgian Valentines to squeak of love

By Emma Davis

BRUSSELS (Reuters Life!) - Belgians tired of giving chocolate treats and flowers for Valentine's Day will be able to spend the evening squeaking out declarations of love in a bar selling helium.

The bar, which normally offers oxygen, is encouraging customers to inhale helium, which distorts the voice, giving a high-pitched cartoon-character sound for a funny effect

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't tempt me to use helium.
_____________________________________________________________

Wisconsin man spears a 6-foot sturgeon

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. - The fish's long shadow slid under the ice, causing Darren Horness to blink. "I was skimming some ice off the hole, and all the sudden I thought I caught a little bit of movement, and I had to kind of take a step back," said Horness, 36, of Howards Grove. "The fish was actually coming up into the hole, I just could see part of it and could tell it was a kind of a nice fish, but I had no idea how big it really was."

The 102-pound, 72-inch sturgeon was nearly as long as he was tall.

About 8,000 fishermen spearhunt sturgeon each year on Lake Winnebago and its upriver lakes. In his seven years, Horness hadn't come close to a fish that big.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
And I thought the catfish stories were somethin'.
_____________________________________________________________

Maltese Falcon stolen from restaurant

By Michael Kahn

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Where's Sam Spade when you need him?

Thieves have stolen a copy of the bird statue at the heart of "The Maltese Falcon" from the San Francisco restaurant used as a setting for the 1941 film classic starring Humphrey Bogart as the rough-and-tumble private detective.

The small, black figure was swiped over the weekend along with 20 vintage books, including copies of the 1930 Dashiell Hammett novel on which the film is based.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
The thieves probably thought the statue was made out of malt.

[TexasStooge]

Want to visit Hannibal the Cannibal? Probably not...

VILNIUS (Reuters) - If you want to meet Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter, a Lithuanian tour firm can help.

In "Hannibal Rising" the novel by Thomas Harris now made into a movie, the childhood and youth of the fictional man-eating serial killer are set in the Baltic state, and the firm is offering a themed visit to the Lithuanian capital.

"We hope to attract tourists who would be interested in visiting Lecter's native land," Aurimas Jukna, director of tourism agency Saules kelias, said Thursday.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I'd rather see "Scary Movie".
_____________________________________________________________

Chinese man gets death for ant-breeding scam

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese man has been sentenced to death for conning people out of 3 billion yuan ($387 million) in a giant scam to breed ants, local media said Thursday.

Wang Zhendong, from the northeastern province of Liaoning, fabricated a business purported to be making wine, tea and medical elixirs using mature ants, the Beijing News said.

In parts of China, black ants are sold by the bagful to be steeped in tea or soaked in liquor as a natural remedy for ailments such as arthritis.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm glad I'm not part of that scam.
_____________________________________________________________

Mother cat adopts newborn Rottweiler

By STEPHEN SINGER, Associated Press Writer

MERIDEN, Conn. (AP) - Who says cats and dogs don't get along? Workers at the Meriden Humane Society are marveling at a short-haired mother cat that has adopted a 6-day-old Rottweiler puppy that was rejected by its mother.

The tiny pup, named Charlie by Humane Society volunteers, nurses alongside a jumble of black and gray kittens recently born to Satin, who was taken to the shelter by an owner unable to care for her.

Charlie's mother was found by the side of the road in Meriden a couple of months ago. She gave birth to two puppies, but one was stillborn. As sometimes happens with a stillborn in the litter, the mother refused to accept Charlie.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
This isn't uncommon. I've seen dogs take in kittens.
_____________________________________________________________

Network rapped for drunk boating scene

OTTAWA (Reuters) - A Canadian television network was formally reprimanded on Wednesday for a program which showed a man repeatedly swearing and drinking beer while driving a motorboat and then telling children they should behave like him.

The Canadian Broadcast Standards Council was particularly unhappy that Global Television had shown the program at 10 o'clock on a Saturday morning, when children were most likely to be watching.

The offending segment from an action sports show called "fatbluesky" showed a character called Joe driving a boat which contained a cooler filled with beer.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, simmer down, man!!
_____________________________________________________________

Skittering squirrel forces plane to land

HONOLULU - An American Airlines flight made an unscheduled landing in Honolulu after pilots heard something skittering about in the wire-laden space over the cockpit. The airline blamed the emergency landing of the Tokyo-Dallas flight with 202 passengers on a stowaway squirrel.

"You do not want a varmint up in the wiring areas and what-have-you on an airplane. You don't want anything up there," said John Hotard, spokesman for the Ft. Worth, Texas-based airline. He said pilots feared the animal would chewed through wiring or cause other problems.

"So, as a precaution, we diverted," Hotard said.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Secret Squirrel" strikes again!
_____________________________________________________________

Why it's gross to kiss your sister

By Maggie Fox, Health and Science Editor

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Researchers who wanted to find out why it is not only taboo to kiss your sister, but also disgusting, said on Wednesday they have discovered why in a discovery that challenges some basic tenets of Freudian theory.

The instinct evolved naturally and cannot be taught, John Tooby and Leda Cosmides of the University of California Santa Barbara wrote in their report in the journal Nature.

Spending time in the same household and watching your mother care for your brother or sister is all it takes. This is all subconscious, of course, reported the researchers, who worked with Debra Lieberman of the University of Hawaii.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
One perfect example: The recent Brother/Sister couple that appeared on "Maury".

[TexasStooge]

Paraguay swallows tall tale of husband-eating boa

ASUNCION (Reuters) - A bereaved widow's story about her husband being devoured by a boa constrictor made headlines in Paraguay on Thursday, but it turned out to be a tall tale by a woman who felt abandoned.

Maria Estela Lima, a housewife in the small town of Puerto Piasco, 370 miles north of Paraguay's capital, Asuncion, on Wednesday told a local radio station how a giant boa had eaten her husband.

She said a 10-yard-long (10-meter-long) snake had grabbed her husband from a boat on the Paraguay river, and wrapped him up before swallowing him.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Or maybe the husband ate the boa who's eating him up from the inside out.
_____________________________________________________________

Fortune: Year of Pig will bring disaster

By DIKKY SINN, Associated Press Writer

HONG KONG - Sunday marks the start of the Chinese New Year and it's a lucky one for those starting out in life. But the rest of us are in for a rough ride. Expect epidemics, disasters and violence in much of the world.

"The Year of the Pig will not be very peaceful," said Hong Kong feng shui master Raymond Lo.

Feng shui is the ancient Chinese practice of trying to achieve health, harmony and prosperity by using specific dates, numbers, building design and the placement of objects.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ain't that a "ham".
_____________________________________________________________

Is it the drink, or did that urinal talk to me?

SANTA FE, New Mexico (Reuters) - In a novel move to curb drunk driving, New Mexico is using talking urinals to remind drinkers to not get behind the wheel when drunk.

The state transportation department said on Thursday it has put some 500 talking deodorizers in bar and restaurant restrooms in the state in recent days to remind drivers not to drink and drive.

"Hey big guy, having a few drinks? Then listen up!" a voice chirps in. "Think you had one too many? Then it's time to call a cab or call a sober friend for a ride home."

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, send some of those urinals to the night clubs here in the DFW area.
_____________________________________________________________

Turtle eaten by golden retriever lives

BRANDON, Fla. - A palm-sized pet turtle and the golden retriever that gobbled it up survived the misadventure thanks to the quick actions of a 12-year-old girl, a veterinarian said.

The saga of Pepper the red-eared slider turtle and Bella the golden retriever started last week. Shelby Terihay, 12, moved her pet pond turtles indoors to protect them from a cold snap — a plan that worked well until Bella found some of the turtles in a bathtub, The Tampa Tribune reported.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
How the heck...? That's definitely a first for anyone.
_____________________________________________________________

Village sells street names to raise cash

BUDAPEST (Reuters) - A cash-strapped Hungarian village is offering the chance of immortality to anyone willing to pay to have a street named after them, and it's hoping world famous celebrities apply.

The northeastern village of Ivad is charging around 100,000 forints ($511) per meter to name its eight streets and guarantees on its http://ivad.hu/index2.html Web site that the name will not be altered for 300 years.

"If, for example Barbra Streisand, whom I like a lot, has no street named after her, she may decide to have one in our village," said Gabor Ivady, mayor of Ivad where most of the 400-strong population are related.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What Village Idiot is making them cash-strapped?
_____________________________________________________________

Newborn ends up in Pa. woman's pant leg

CONNELLSVILLE, Pa. (AP) - A woman gave birth to a boy outside a western Pennsylvania hospital — a delivery that happened so quickly that the newborn wound up in his mother's sweatpants.

"It happened so fast," Rebecca Johnson, 24, told the Daily Courier in Connellsville. "I didn't know what happened until he was in my pant leg."

Johnson had just gotten out of the car at Highlands Hospital in Connellsville and was still in the parking lot when her 5-pound, 15-ounce son, Mason Matthew Parkinson, arrived Wednesday.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK, Now I've read everything.

[TexasStooge]

Mummified body found in front of blaring TV

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Police called to a Long Island man's house discovered the mummified remains of the resident, dead for more than a year, sitting in front of a blaring television set.

The 70-year-old Hampton Bays, New York, resident, identified as Vincenzo Ricardo, appeared to have died of natural causes. Police said Saturday his body was discovered Thursday when they were called to the house over a burst water pipe.

"You could see his face. He still had hair on his head," Newsday quoted morgue assistant Jeff Bacchus as saying. The home's low humidity had preserved the body.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What was on TV that killed him?
_____________________________________________________________

Couple plan to tie the knot in graveyard

By JIM SUHR, Associated Press Writer

PACIFIC, Mo. - It's not the traditional "till death do us part," but Scott Amsler and Miranda Patterson believe getting hitched in a graveyard is just thinking outside the box.

Come September, the Illinois couple expects to pledge their undying love among the dearly departed in this St. Louis suburb's city cemetery, even though those who approved the request are dead set against seeing it become a trend.

The wedding wouldn't be out of character for Amsler, 27, a computer expert for a financial company by day and rehabber of old hearses by night.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A wedding? At a graveyard? That's completely out of character to me!!
_____________________________________________________________

Math anxiety saps working memory needed to do math

By Julie Steenhuysen

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Worrying about how you'll perform on a math test may actually contribute to a lower test score, U.S. researchers said on Saturday.

Math anxiety -- feelings of dread and fear and avoiding math -- can sap the brain's limited amount of working capacity, a resource needed to compute difficult math problems, said Mark Ashcroft, a psychologist at the University of Nevada Los Vegas who studies the problem.

"It turns out that math anxiety occupies a person's working memory," said Ashcroft, who spoke on a panel at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in San Francisco.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's why I don't wory about how I did, it's the effort I put on the test that matters.
_____________________________________________________________

Tiny duckling has rare mutation: 4 legs

LONDON (AP) - Webbed feet run in Stumpy's family, but he's the first to have four of them.

A rare mutation has left the eight-day-old duckling with two nearly full-sized legs behind the two he runs on. Nicky Janaway, a duck farmer in New Forest, Hampshire, 95 miles southwest of London, showed the duckling to reporters Saturday.

"It was absolutely bizarre. I was thinking 'he's got too many legs' and I kept counting 'one, two, three, four,'" Janaway said.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many drunks would see that and quit drinking?
_____________________________________________________________

Global vote will pick world's "new" seven wonders

By Sam Cage

ZURICH (Reuters) - What are the greatest architectural achievements in history? Rome's Colosseum? The Great Wall of China? The Pyramids of Giza?

That's what millions of people are asking themselves as they vote in the largest global poll ever conducted, an attempt to recast ancient history by ranking the top architectural marvels as the "new" seven wonders of the world.

Besides the vast scale of the poll -- itself a wonder -- the new list may reveal what the wired voters in today's global village view differently from the ancient Greeks, who laid out the original seven wonders more than two thousand years ago.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the winner is.....................


(drumroll)


Neverland! (Joking)

[TexasStooge]

Please don't invite us to your wedding, couple says

BUENOS AIRES (Reuters) - Fed up with spending too many weekends going to weddings, an Argentine couple took out a paid announcement on the social pages of a major newspaper expressing their desire for some social neglect.

"We thank you ahead of time for understanding this petition, which is due to our saturated social calendar," read the ad in La Nacion.

Adolfo Caballero, 66, told a La Nacion reporter the flood of invitations came from the children of his dozens of cousins, friends from his club, and clients of his law firm.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------
Wait a minute, the couple that wants to marry in the graveyard should be saying that.
________________________________________________________________________________

Islamic spies to snoop on lovers

KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - A Malaysian state plans to recruit "spies" from the public to snoop on unmarried lovers and report them to Islamic religious authorities, a newspaper said Tuesday.

The Terengganu state government plans to enlist the part-time spies to look out for un-Islamic behavior, such as unmarried couples kissing or holding hands, the Star daily said.

"Some of these 'spies' could be waitresses or even janitors at hotels acting as auxiliary undercover agents for our religious department," the head of the state government's Islamic and welfare committee, Rosol Wahid, was quoted as saying.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Send those spies to Caballero's wedding and see what they're hiding.
________________________________________________________________________________

Croatia probes why Hitler image on sugar packets

ZAGREB (Reuters) - Small packets of sugar bearing the likeness of Adolf Hitler and carrying Holocaust jokes have been found in some cafes in Croatia, prompting an investigation, the office of the state prosecutor said Monday.

"The local district attorney in (the eastern town of) Pozega has opened an investigation and is currently looking at the matter," said Martina Mihordin.

The Novi List daily newspaper reported that officials at a small factory in Pozega have confirmed the sugar packs were produced on their premises.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
OK, I'm taking unsweetened tea from now on.
________________________________________________________________________________

Cheque mate! Korean bank sends singles on blind date

SEOUL (Reuters) - A top South Korean bank is sending a group of its single female employees on a blind date trip to North Korea, hoping that romance will make them happy at the office, an official said Tuesday.

Hana Bank is trying to fix up 20 of its employees between the ages of 29 and 33 with 20 single South Korean men selected by a top matchmaking agency in the country, an official said.

"This trip will offer them a chance to easily meet men," said Yang Jae-hyeok in charge of the bank's division offering life services for employees.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Cheque Mate". That's a bad pun.
________________________________________________________________________________

Mexican businessmen break kebab record

MEXICO CITY - A group of businessmen in the northern Mexican City of Chihuahua broke a tasty record Friday, making a hunk of meat on a skewer big enough to serve 24,000 tacos.

In the Friday event dubbed as the "Tacoton," the meat for a pastor taco, a variety of the Mexican dish that consists of pork squashed onto a stake, weighed 3.9 tons and was 13 feet high, Mexican government news agency Notimex reported.

Officials from the Guinness Book of World Records recognized the hunk of meat as the world's "largest skewer of kebab meat," Notimex reported.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
I wouldn't mind entering this kind of contest.

[TexasStooge]

Fighting surgeons leave patient in the lurch

BELGRADE (Reuters) - A routine appendix operation in Belgrade went badly wrong when two surgeons started fighting and stormed from the operating theater to settle their dispute outside, the daily Politika reported Wednesday.

Surgeon Spasoje Radulovic was operating when his colleague Dragan Vukanic entered and made a remark that started a quarrel, said the anesthesiologist on duty.

"At one moment Vukanic pulled the ear of the operating doctor, slapped him in the face and walked out," she said.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This is not "Grey's Anatomy" or "General Hospital". This is reality!!!
_____________________________________________________________

Empty boxes and politeness dent generosity

WELLINGTON (Reuters) - People will not give money if they are thanked in advance or presented with an empty donation box, but will dig deep if they see banknotes, according to a study by New Zealand academics released on Wednesday.

The research by Victoria University of Wellington's economics department showed that how much is already in a donation box, the mix of coins and notes, and what sorts of signs are present will influence how generous the public will be.

The behavior of people faced with a clear donation box at the entrance to the city's art gallery was filmed by a hidden camera.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A donation box is a donation box. What difference does it make?
_____________________________________________________________

Dead dad earns pension from the freezer

MILAN (Reuters) - An Italian is suspected of hiding his dead father in a freezer for two years so he could keep collecting the old man's pension.

Gaetano Sivieri confessed to police this week he had stashed his father's body in an underground garage near the Alpine town of Aosta, media reports said.

"I needed the money," the 63-year-old was quoted as saying by Corriere della Sera newspaper. News agency Ansa said he had drawn nearly 80,000 euros ($105,000) of pension. Sivieri, who faces charges of fraud and concealing a body, said he was driving his 91-year-old father home from a health clinic in January 2005 when he got the idea of hiding the body.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's just wrong!! I can think of other ways to earn money.
_____________________________________________________________

Kazakh envoy in U.S. seeks to dispel "Borat"

NEW HAVEN, Connecticut (Reuters) - Kazakhstan's envoy to the United States Tuesday defended his country against "misconceptions" caused by the hit comedy film "Borat" and its misogynistic, anti-Semitic, fictional Kazakh TV reporter.

Speaking at Yale University, Kanat Saudabayev presented the former Soviet state as a modern nation of well-educated professionals and a major non-OPEC oil exporter.

The movie satirizes the United States and pokes fun at a fictional Kazakhstan as a place where people drink fermented horse urine among other questionable practices.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Borat" has came and left the theaters. Enough about him.
_____________________________________________________________

Man returns from visit, trips on corpse

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) - A Haight-Ashbury man returning home from an extended vacation tripped and fell on a corpse in his bedroom after finding his apartment had been ransacked, police said.

Authorities have not released the name of the resident or the victim, identified only as a white male, but are treating the death as suspicious, said Sgt. Neville Gittens.

The resident had just come back from a two-week visit in Humboldt County when he made the grisly discovery Monday, Gittens said.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Looks like a job for CSI.

[TexasStooge]

Two clowns shot dead at circus

BOGOTA (Reuters) - Two clowns were shot and killed by an unidentified gunman during their performance at a traveling circus in the eastern Colombian town of Cucuta, police said Wednesday.

The gunman burst into the Circo del Sol de Cali Monday night and shot the clowns in front of an audience of 20 to 50 people, local police chief Jose Humberto Henao told Reuters. One of the clowns was killed instantly and the second died the next day in hospital.

"The killings had nothing to do with the show the victims were performing at the time of the incident," Henao said in a telephone interview. "We are investigating the motive."

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The hunt for the Insane Clown Posse is on. (Not the Rap/Rock group)
_____________________________________________________________

New Zealand fishermen catch rare squid

By RAY LILLEY, Associated Press Writer

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) - A fishing crew has caught a colossal squid that could weigh a half-ton and prove to be the biggest specimen ever landed, a fisheries official said Thursday.

The squid, weighing an estimated 990 lbs and about 39 feet long, took two hours to land in Antarctic waters, New Zealand Fisheries Minister Jim Anderton said.

The fishermen were catching Patagonian toothfish, sold under the name Chilean sea bass, south of New Zealand "and the squid was eating a hooked toothfish when it was hauled from the deep," Anderton said.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm missing the gigantic catfish stories. Whatever happened to them?
_____________________________________________________________

Men-free tourism island planned

TEHRAN (Reuters) - Iran plans a female-only island to boost tourism in a northwest province, the Tehran-e Emrouz newspaper on Wednesday quoted a local official as saying.

It will be on the Urumiyeh lake in Western Azerbaijan province, a municipality official identified only as Aghai said.

Under Iran's strict Islamic law, mixing with men in public is forbidden. Strict sex segregation actually protects women rather than restricting their rights, officials argue.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Uhhh..........That's on the list of places not to spend your honeymoon.
_____________________________________________________________

'Bullies' team name draws protests

SYRACUSE, N.Y. (AP) - Anti-bullying advocates are beating up on the name chosen for the new professional basketball team in Syracuse, N.Y. The Syracuse Bullies will play in the American Basketball Association beginning this fall.

People who run anti-bullying programs are crying foul over the Bullies name. They say when children attend the games, they'll get the wrong idea that bullies are cool.

A Rochester businessman, Nicholas Fritts, tells Syracuse TV station WSYR that the team's name doesn't promote bullying and shouldn't raise concerns. The team's mascot is a muscle-bound bull.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Another team, another controversial name.
_____________________________________________________________

No need to diet AND exercise to lose weight?

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - A new study debunks the widely held belief that diet plus exercise is the most effective way to lose weight. Researchers report that dieting alone is just as effective as dieting plus exercise.

"For weight loss to occur, an individual needs to maintain a difference between the number of calories they consume everyday and the number of calories they burn through metabolism and physical activity," Dr. Leanne Redman of the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, explains in a press release.

"What we found was that it did not matter whether a reduction in calories was achieved through diet or burned everyday through exercise."

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
You can exercise, but you don't need to starve yourself.
_____________________________________________________________

Customers get billion-dollar power bills

WEATHERFORD, Texas (The Dallas Morning News/AP) - Perhaps his $24 billion electric bill will teach Richard Redden not to leave the heat running. Thanks to a printing error, Redden and more than 1,300 Weatherford utility customers this week received billion-dollar electric bills marked as late notices.

Irving-bases DataProse, which prints customer bills for Weatherford Electric, said the company was embarrassed by the error.

"Obviously, this is not something we are pleased about," said Curtis Nelson, DataProse vice president and general manager.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Wow! The energy hogs are REALLY out in force to make other customers pay more!!