The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Police Chase Blues Brother Impersonator

CRYSTAL, Minn. (AP) - Police responding to a call of a convulsing Elvis Presley impersonator soon found themselves in a high-speed chase of another faux celebrity — a man dressed as one of the Blues Brothers.

Crystal Police Capt. Dave Oyaas said the bizarre string of events began when officers were called to a veterans hall Monday morning to find a man dressed as Elvis Presley apparently in convulsions.

When the officers approached, Oyaas said the man suddenly jumped up and yelled, "Viva Las Vegas!" before singing show tunes.

At about the same time, two women said another man at the veterans hall dressed as John Belushi's character in "The Blues Brothers" had stolen their car and driven to a nearby airport.

The man led police on a high-speed chase around the airport before officers forced him to stop and arrested him.

"It's one of those things that you stop and scratch your head, and you think that 'Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?'" Oyaas said.

Oyaas said charges pending against the men could include disorderly conduct, fleeing police and drunken driving.

The men had been drinking together at the VFW before police arrived. Blood tests will show how much, but Oyaas said, "I would venture to say quite a bit."

[CentralFloridaGal]

[TexasStooge]

Man Fights Off Repossessor with Chainsaw

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German man tried to fight off a repossessor with a chainsaw and gasoline bombs before being arrested by police special forces, authorities said Thursday.

The 52-year-old man in the eastern town of Helbra barricaded himself in his single-family house when the repossessor arrived with a two-man police escort. He first drove off the trio by throwing petrol bombs and a barbecue lighting device at them.

The police called in reinforcements, a SEK special forces unit. When they stormed the house the man fired up his chainsaw and revved it but was quickly overwhelmed. Two police officers were injured, a spokeswoman said.

"We've had a number of repossessions before but never had anything quite like this," said police spokeswoman Birgit Bandermann, adding he faces charges of attempted manslaughter.

[TexasStooge]

Would-Be Bank Robber Gets Laughed At

ZAGREB, Croatia (AP) - He put a mask on his face, pulled out a gun and demanded money. But when the bank clerk laughed in his face, the would-be robber was so humiliated he just ran away.

The bungled holdup occurred midday Thursday at a small bank on Zagreb's main square, police said.

The 31-year-old clerk, identified only as Martina S., "laughed aloud" at the threat from the bandit because she knew she was protected by a bulletproof glass, said Gordana Vulama, a police spokeswoman.

After cackling at the thief, she coolly picked up the phone to call police, Vulama said.

Seeing that, the failed robber spun around and fled the scene. Police were searching for him, Vulama said.

[TexasStooge]

Polka Bandleader Faces Music for Swindling

SCRANTON, Pa. (AP) - A polka bandleader already serving time in Delaware was sentenced Thursday to nearly six years in prison and ordered to repay $4.9 million to investors he defrauded.

U.S. District Judge Thomas Vanaskie called Jan Lewandowski's conduct "despicable" and sentenced him to five years and 11 months in prison, to be served at the same time as other related sentences.

Lewandowski, 62, mixed investors' money with his own, using funds to buy real estate and vehicles for himself, according to prosecutors. He sent investors fictitious charts and graphs depicting rising profits for his businesses, even though his financial condition was rapidly deteriorating.

Lewandowski, who gained fame as the leader of the Jan Lewan Orchestra, apologized to his victims in court Thursday. "I'm just very sorry for the people, for the victims of my crime," he said.

In addition to the five-year sentence in Delaware, he received a seven-year sentence in New Jersey. After he completes his Delaware sentence, prosecutors said he'll be moved to federal prison.

Lewandowswki pleaded guilty in federal court in December to mail fraud and wire fraud charges stemming from the sale of unregistered securities over more than a decade. Under a plea agreement, prosecutors said they would seek a reduced sentence to be served at the same time as the sentences in Delaware and New Jersey.

A native of Poland, he entered prison in February after pleading guilty to charges of fraudulently selling more than $2 million in unsecured bonds to 89 investors, many of them elderly fans of his polka band. He is a 1995 Grammy nominee for best polka album for "Jan Lewan & His Orchestra."

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Information from: The Morning Call, http://www.mcall.com

[TexasStooge]

Graduation Streaker Exposed to Jail Time

TOWANDA, Pa. (AP) - A high school graduate was sentenced to up to two years in jail for streaking the graduation ceremony from which he had been excluded.

Russell Chmieleski, 18, pleaded guilty to first-degree indecent exposure and must serve six months to two years. Because the charge is a misdemeanor, he can stay in a county jail, rather than state prison.

The first-degree charge was made because children were in the crowd when Chmieleski ran across the football field where the Towanda High School graduation ceremony was held in June.

Police said Chmieleski was upset that school officials excluded him from the ceremony because he graduated in January.

Towanda is about 50 miles northwest of Scranton.

Yeah, first-degree indecent exposure and first-degree idiocy.

[TexasStooge]

Police Search for Foul-Smelling Robber

BRATISLAVA, Slovakia (AP) - Slovaks were on the lookout for a foul-smelling bank robber Thursday after police said the thief had a nasty odor.

A gun-toting, masked man in his 20s, clad in a green sweat shirt, robbed a bank in the capital and took some $14,235 in various currencies, police said.

Police spokeswoman Alena Tosevova said what the bandit wore was not the most noticeable thing for workers inside the bank, but rather a strong smell which they reported to investigators.

Tosevova said it was unclear whether the smell was caused by the thief having stepped into dog droppings or whether he soiled himself during the robbery.

[TexasStooge]

Accused burglar needs help, calls 911

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Court TV) - An accused burglar in San Antonio, Texas, injured himself so severely during a home robbery that he had to dial 911 for help.

Antonio Villareal, 30, allegedly broke into a home using a poorly chosen weapon — his right hand.

According to San Antonio police officer Joe Rios, Villareal smashed his fist through a glass door Oct. 4 and lacerated his wrist.

Although Villareal had hit a main artery and was bleeding profusely, he was undaunted and made his way through the house gathering items he intended to steal, a police report said. He also allegedly used the injured hand to smash through a glass display case that held guns.

But Villareal was unaware of the extent of his injuries until he was ready to make his escape.

"He thought that if he tried to escape, he might bleed to death," Rios said.

The burglar dialed 911.

Police arrived at the scene to find EMS workers treating Villareal's injuries, the report said. They also noted that various rooms and items in the house were smeared with his blood.

Villareal was arrested and charged with burglary of a habitation. He is being held on $25,000 bond and is awaiting a grand jury indictment.

[TexasStooge]

Suspended driver claims lawn mower doesn't count

CARROLL, Iowa (Court TV) - Police arrested Scott Limbrecht after he was caught driving a motor vehicle without a valid license.

But the authorities and the 44-year-old man are having a hard time seeing eye-to-eye on the legal definition of "motor vehicle."

At the time of his arrest, Limbrecht's vehicle happened to be a 300-pound lawn mower.

According to Carroll Police Captain Mark Heino, Limbrecht was arrested for driving with a revoked license and not because of his choice of transportation.

"Once your license is revoked, you're ineligible to operate any vehicle on a public street," Heino said. "And in Iowa, a lawn mower is a vehicle because it's capable of being self-propelled."

Limbrecht was en route to his mother's home from the gas station when he was arrested Sept. 19. A police officer recognized Limbrecht from a department of motor vehicles list of suspended and revoked drivers and took him into custody, the Captain said.

Limbrecht is challenging the state's classification of his lawn mower and his arrest.

He is scheduled to be arraigned Oct. 18.

[TexasStooge]

Retiree Wrecks Police Car with Crutch

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - A German pensioner angry at being stranded at a railway station smashed up a police car with his crutch when police refused to drive him home or get him a hotel room, authorities said Friday.

When police in the western town of Gronau told the man late Thursday his train only operated Saturday, he stormed off to the station car park and unleashed his fury on their car, shattering its lights and mirrors and denting the bodywork.

Police found the man sitting down with the broken remnants of his crutch by the vandalized vehicle.

"That's what you get, I've made a nice mess of it for you," the 63-year-old man shouted to the stunned officers, police in the nearby city of Muenster said in a statement.

Police said the man, who could not stand without the walking aid, told them he would have done even more damage on the car had the crutch not broken first.

"The damage to the squad car totaled some 3,000 euros ($3,700), which the pensioner must pay," police said. "For that he could have bought himself a small car to drive to Muenster."

[TexasStooge]

Ga. Man Watches Disaster Movie, Burns Home

CORDELE, Ga. (AP) - There was no "Day After Tomorrow" for Charles Alton Adams' mobile home, which the south Georgia man told police he set on fire after watching the disaster movie and drinking beer.

Adams, 32, walked into the Crisp County Law Enforcement Center early Thursday and told deputies he had burned down the doublewide home.

He told deputies that after watching "The Day After Tomorrow," a special-effects extravaganza depicting deadly natural disasters caused by global warming, and drinking nine or 10 beers, he decided to set fire to pillows on his bed.

When asked why, Crisp County Sheriff Donnie Haralson said, "I have asked that question myself. ... The whole thing just doesn't really make sense."

Haralson said Adams was been charged with arson. He remained jailed Friday as family members attempted to raise money for his bond.

[TexasStooge]

Papers: Litter Box Full, Woman Sets Fire

PORT ANGELES, Wash. (AP) - Court documents filed in Clallam County Superior Court tie an alleged arson in an apartment complex to a smelly cat litter box.

Prosecutors on Wednesday charged Marie Adeline Calkins, 63, with first-degree arson, accusing her of setting a fire Tuesday in her apartment on South C Street. No one was injured.

She told officers she lit the fire because "she was depressed and upset that her kitty litter box was full and smelled," court papers said.

Judge George L. Wood set bail at $50,000 and ordered a mental health assessment.

[TexasStooge]

France's Top Law Enforcer Caught Speeding

MARSEILLE, France (Reuters) - France's minister for justice admitted on Monday his car broke the speed limit during national road safety week, but pleaded innocent because he had been in the back of the chauffeur-driven vehicle at the time.

"I was indeed in the car, but I wasn't driving it," Minister Dominique Perben told a news conference. "I generally work while on the motorway and it's hard to gauge the speed," he said.

The incident took place on Friday at the end of a week dedicated to road safety promotion in France.

Perben said he had only learned that his car had topped the motorway speed limit of 130 km (80 miles) per hour through the media, which said his government-provided Peugeot 607 had been flashed by police at a speed of 160 kph but not stopped.

"If there was an error, there must be a sanction, whoever the person concerned," Perben said, adding that his chauffeur was a careful driver and that all government chauffeurs had instructions to obey the rules of the road.

Perben is at least the third minister caught out since the conservative government introduced new measures to combat excess speed, which is blamed for around half of France's annual tally of 8,000 road deaths, one of the worst rates in western Europe.

A year ago, Transport Minister Gilles de Robien and then-interior minister Nicolas Sarkozy -- now finance minister -- were caught over the limit as their cars raced to the unveiling of new speed-monitoring radars outside Paris.

[TexasStooge]

Man Allegedly Forges Jail Release Papers

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. (AP) - A man charged with forgery allegedly tried to get out of jail by — what else? — forging documents for his release.

Now, 20-year-old Jared J. Bailey faces new felony charges of attempted escape and forgery.

Investigators say Bailey forged the signature of Monroe Circuit Judge Douglas R. Bridges on a court order that purportedly changed his bail from $100,000 surety bond to $500 in cash.

Bailey's old roommate told police that Bailey asked him to fax the fake papers to Bailey's attorney. The friend said he went to a copy store with a fax number he thought was the attorney's, but the documents went to the jail instead, according to an affidavit.

The fake document is complete with a clerk's office stamp and a template similar to the real thing. It details a hearing in Bridges' court and states: "The defense informed the Judge that substantial evidence disputing the prosecution's claims had been found ... After hearing the new evidence presented by the defense, the court orders that the defendant's revoked bonds be reinstated, and that the corresponding holds be lifted."

Jail staff viewed the papers as suspicious and did not release Bailey, whose bond has since been raised to $250,000 surety.

In April, Bailey was charged with six felony counts of forgery and theft involving $5,200 reportedly taken from three people. Bailey is also awaiting trial on charges of burglary, felony battery, confinement with a deadly weapon, attempted armed robbery and impersonating a police officer.

[TexasStooge]

Estonian Offers to Strip to Avoid Ticket

TALLINN, Estonia (AP) - A woman pulled over by police on suspicion of driving while drunk tried to get out of the ticket by performing an impromptu striptease that was captured on police video.

Tallinn police spokeswoman Jana Zdanovits told the AP on Tuesday that the woman, who was not identified, was pulled over Monday night in the capital's Mustamae area. Zdanovits said that after the woman took, and failed, a breathalyzer test, she suddenly bared her breasts to the two officers. The police spokeswoman confirmed a tabloid report that the woman then offered the pair of officers a private performance.

Zdanovits said a police camera caught the incident on tape.

The woman faces charges of drunk driving. If found guilty, she could be fined $478 and lose her license. The average monthly salary in Estonia is around $519.

Drunk driving is a major problem in Estonia, where the average half-liter bottle of vodka can be bought for $4 and hard liquor is sold in convenience stories.

[TexasStooge]

Man Gets 60 Days for Phone Store Rampage

FARGO, N.D. (AP) - A man who stripped to the waist, put on safety goggles and tore up a Verizon Wireless store after complaining of bad phone service has been sentenced to 60 days in jail.

Jason Perala, 22, pleaded guilty Monday to felony criminal mischief and misdemeanor assault in the rampage the company said cost it more than $20,000 in broken equipment and lost sales.

The 5-foot-11, 200-pound former college wrestler said he had intended to only scream at the store workers, but when he tried to throw his cell phone against a wall, it hit a worker in the shoulder.

He continued to destroy merchandise for several minutes while workers locked themselves in an office.

The judge also sentenced Perala, of Fargo, to one year of supervised probation and $1,200 of restitution.

"I want to apologize; I'm sorry," Perala said after his sentencing. "I gotta change my ways a little bit."

Perala, who before the May incident had no criminal record, was arrested three more times during the summer on charges relating to disorderly conduct. He received fines, unsupervised probation and suspended jail sentences in those cases.

[TexasStooge]

Man Allegedly Drives Through Target Store

EAST STROUDSBURG, Pa. (AP) - A man crashed a stolen car through the front of a Target store, drove around the store for a bit and then drove back out before police were able to arrest him, authorities said. No one was injured.

The driver, Patrick Tosh, 52, of Wilkes-Barre, told police he did not remember anything about how he ended up driving the Subaru Forester, which was listed as stolen, Stroud Area Regional Police Detective Douglas Knowles said.

Tosh drove through glass double doors at the Target in Stroud Township about 11 p.m. Friday, continued through the store, and drove back out another main entrance, police said. There were about 40 employees in the store at the time.

Tosh was arrested in a nearby parking lot a short time later.

Tosh, who was arraigned Saturday morning on charges including burglary, reckless driving, receiving stolen property and criminal mischief, was not driving under the influence and he had no known history of mental illness, Knowles said.

Employees said the store would be closed for several days while the damage is repaired.

[TexasStooge]

Woman Pleads No Contest for Taking Puppy

SANTA CRUZ, Calif. (AP) - Puppy love got a nurse in trouble. Sandy O'Leary, 58, pleaded no contest to misdemeanor theft and was sentenced to 200 hours community service for taking a cocker spaniel puppy from a car outside PetsMart.

OLeary was arrested April 29 after taking the dog from its owner's Toyota Corolla. A witness wrote down O'Leary's license plate number after seeing her reach through a partially open car window, unlock the door and take the dog, investigators said.

OLeary, who initially claimed to have acted out of fear that the heat inside the car would harm the puppy, had changed the dog's collar and told a deputy she found the dog running in the street.

Defense attorney Ben Rice submitted 26 letters in support of OLeary to Superior Court Judge Michael Barton.

"Stealing somebody's beloved pet is like taking a part of their family and is very different than simply taking property," prosecutor Jeff Rosell said. "If it wasn't for this concerned citizen who took down her license plate, there would have been no way to locate the defendant and the victim's dog."

[TexasStooge]

Man Wears 'Cocaine' T-Shirt in Court

HONG KONG, China (AP) - It was not the best legal defense strategy: A Hong Kong man appeared in court on drug charges wearing a T-shirt that said "cocaine" and drew a stern rebuke from the magistrate, a newspaper reported Thursday.

Ho Heng-chau pleaded guilty to possession of three ecstasy pills, but while his lawyer was arguing for a lenient sentence on Wednesday the magistrate noticed the T-shirt, according to the Apple Daily newspaper.

"Do you know you're appearing in court?" Magistrate Ernest Lin was quoted as saying. "What are you doing wearing a 'cocaine' T-shirt? You might as well carry a sign that says 'I'm a drug head.'"

Ho, 20, did not respond, Apple Daily said.

The magistrate fined Ho $510, then chided the young man again over the shirt.

"Next time a police officer sees you wearing a shirt like this he'll confront you," Lin was quoted as saying. "Would you wear a shirt that says 'marijuana?'"

Judiciary spokeswoman Jaime Or told The Associated Press she had no information on Ho's case.

[TexasStooge]

Woman Arrested After Mistaken 911 Call

CALLAWAY, Fla. (AP) - A woman was arrested on drug charges after accidentally dialing 911 and hanging up, which brought a sheriff's deputy to her home to investigate, authorities say.

Investigators said the wrong number led them Wednesday to one the largest methamphetamine laboratories ever found in Bay County.

Deputies said Vicki Lynn Nunnery, 43, told them she hung up the phone after realizing she had inadvertently dialed 911 when she started to call someone else. She was unaware that it is standard procedure for police to send an officer to investigate all 911 disconnections.

The investigating deputy smelled the distinct odor of meth while talking with Nunnery and Vito James Knowles, 44, who also was arrested, said sheriff's Sgt. Rob Ashman.

Narcotics investigators were contacted and a search warrant obtained, Ashman said. He said the search disclosed that the three-bedroom house in this Panama City suburb was functioning as a giant meth lab.

Nunnery and Knowles were charged with trafficking meth and face additional drug and weapon charges, said sheriff's spokeswoman Ruth Sasser.

Both remained at the Bay County Jail in Panama City on Thursday. Nunnery's bail was set at $100,000 and Knowles' at $80,000.

Jail records did not indicate whether they had lawyers and no attorneys were present in the public defender's office Thursday afternoon.

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Information from: The News Herald, http://www.newsherald.com