The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Man Uses Jail Account to Meet Women Online

EDWARDSVILLE, Ill. (AP) - A 20-year-old man has pleaded guilty to using the Madison County Jail's checking account number to help him meet women online.

David Wroten's sentence after he pleaded guilty Wednesday calls for him to be placed on probation for two years and repay the $39.95 of the jail's money he spent to join an online dating service.

Wroten was charged Sept. 27. A jail inmate on another charge, Wroten was issued a check upon his release for cash he had on him and turned over to the jail when he was booked into custody, Madison County Sheriff Robert Hertz said.

Wroten then took the account number from the check and gave it to the Internet dating service when he joined. The money was electronically transferred from the jail's account to the dating service.

The Bank of Edwardsville thought such a transaction was unusual and contacted the sheriff's department, which began investigating.

Subsequently, a sheriff's deputy went to the dating service's Web site and spotted Wroten's photograph, which was posted so prospective dates could get a look at him.

[TexasStooge]

Bart Simpson Would Be Proud of Them

MILAN, Greece (Reuters) - Four Italian teenagers have confessed to flooding one of Milan's best known schools, causing an estimated 500,000 euros ($630,900) in damage, because they did not want to sit a Greek exam.

The three girls and one boy, aged between 16 and 17, delivered a letter to the school's headmaster on Thursday, explaining how last weekend they blocked drains in a bathroom before they turned on washbasin taps and left them running.

The headmaster, Carlo Arrigo Pedretti, said the pupils wrote in the letter that they flooded the school to avoid having to sit their ancient Greek test on Monday morning.

"I am stunned, I cannot believe it," Pedretti said. "These kids have no idea of the consequence of their actions."

The Parini school, located in the heart of Milan and which was recently refurbished, is the oldest state school in Italy.

The pupils have been suspended from school until next Monday. They were questioned by police on Thursday and could be put under investigation for aggravated vandalism, breaking and entering and causing a disruption to public services.

[TexasStooge]

Couple Allegedly Has Sex in Shoe Store

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. (AP) - Two out-of-towners got caught in a rain shower, and decided to seek refuge by breaking into a shoe store. Then one thing led to another — at least that's what the couple told the officer who found them having sex amid new boots in the store's display window.

The officer responding to a burglar alarm at Hacienda Western Wear on Tuesday tapped on the glass door, disturbing Pauline Grace Rainwater, 20, and Brandon Lee Clark, 18. The couple was naked, but Clark managed to cover himself with one hand, and wave at the police officer with the other.

The officer told the couple to get dressed. Court records show they did — and then they took off running. A call for backup brought more officers to the streets, and the two were arrested.

Clark and Rainwater were charged Thursday with burglary, resisting an officer, assaulting an officer and indecent exposure. Bail for each of the transients was set at $7,500.

[TexasStooge]

Man knocks himself out stealing signs

WHEAT RIDGE, Col. (Court TV) - A Republican in Colorado fell flat on his face trying to steal campaign signs touting John Kerry and other local Democratic candidates.

According to Wheat Ridge Police spokesperson Officer Lisa Stigall, Randal Wagner was already wanted for questioning about a rash of campaign-sign thefts when he was discovered lying unconscious across a stolen sign Oct. 13.

Earlier that evening, a homeowner reported to police that he saw Wagner, 50, cutting down a campaign sign bolted to his fence. The sign was in support of a local Democratic candidate running for Congress.

The man confronted Wagner, who allegedly fled in a truck with his wife. The man gave the vehicle's plate number to police.

While police located the Wagners' home, Wagner was busy at work on another sign put up by a store in the business district, Stigall said.

But he encountered resistance.

"He already had the sign in hand and was running out of the parking lot when he tripped over a low chain that blocked off the driveway," Stigall said.

Wagner fell flat on his face and was knocked unconscious. His wife, unaware of his accident, remained in the car.

An officer driving by noticed the figure lying on the ground and called for an ambulance. Wagner was treated for cuts and abrasions to his face.

Police discovered two dozen campaign signs in the back of the couple's truck and issued Wagner a summons for theft, trespassing, criminal tampering and disorderly conduct.

The outcome of the presidential race won't be the only thing keeping Wagner on his toes in November. He's scheduled to appear in court Nov. 22 to find out if he'll receive jail time.

[TexasStooge]

Would-be thief turns in friend who turned him in years ago

LA PORTE CITY, Ind. (Court TV) - As far as settling old scores go, Josh Edwards and Robert Taylor can consider themselves even.

Police in La Porte City, Ind., say three years ago, Taylor identified Edwards as the culprit behind a rash of moped thefts. For giving up his friend, he received $100. But when the duo recently partnered up for a failed heist, Edwards returned the favor.

According to La Porte Detective Clyde Crass, Edwards, 19, and Taylor, 21, tried to steal stereo equipment from a roller rink Oct. 15. Taylor allegedly gained entry into the building after breaking a basement window, but Edwards developed cold feet and refused to follow his partner.

Alone in the basement, Taylor became nervous and tried to leave the building, but was unable to reach the window, which was eight feet off the floor, Crass said.

Taylor attempted to exit the building through the garage door but triggered the security system. He managed to scramble up to the window, where Edwards helped to pull him out of the building. However, in the process Edwards dropped his cellphone at the scene.

Police were able to trace the phone to Edwards, who quickly gave up his accomplice and one-time informant. When interviewed, Taylor admitted to the break-in attempt, Crass said.

The men were charged with criminal mischief and trespass, and also paid for repairs to the damaged window.

[TexasStooge]

Disappointed bank robber demands $1500, gets $200

MIAMI, Florida (Court TV) - Larry Miller thinks he got a raw deal.

When the wheelchair-bound man robbed a Florida bank, he got only $200 of the $1500 he demanded. Not only was he vocal about his disappointment, he also had a theory about his less-than-rewarding heist.

According to Miami Police Lieutenant Bill Schwartz, Miller, 42, wheeled himself into a Pan American Bank Sept. 21 and told the bank manager he wanted to set up an account. As the manager gathered documents, Miller placed a brown paper bag on the desk.

A note scrawled on the bag read, "Robbery put the money bag 1500."

Miller then allegedly realized that managers don't keep money at their desks. He reportedly took the note and rolled himself towards the teller instead.

"I imagine that [Miller's] not a Rhodes scholar," Schwartz said.


The teller complied with the suspect's demand, but when Miller was about to exit the bank, he discovered that the teller had only given him two $100 bills.

Schwartz said Miller became agitated and began cursing. He tossed his note to the ground and continued to utter expletives as he made his way towards the train station, where he was easily apprehended.

"It's just not fair," Miller reportedly complained. "On TV, the white bank robbers get $1500. It's only because I'm black that I get $200."

This was not the thwarted robber's first unlucky caper.

According to Schwartz, Miller tried to rob a store with a gun in 1987, but the store owner wrestled the gun away and shot him. The injury left Miller unable to walk and confined to a wheelchair.

Miller has been charged with strong armed robbery for the bank heist.

[TexasStooge]

British man loses driver's license for drunk driving on a lawn mower

LONDON, England (AFP) - A 50-year-old British man arrested while driving his lawnmower in a state of intoxication had his automobile license revoked for one year by a British court.

The court in Cheltenham in south-central England suspended Michael Mennell's driving license and ordered him to pay a fine of 250 pounds (362 euros or 465 dollars).

Mennell, who admitted his guilt, seemed unperturbed.

"I don't drive a car much so the ban won't bother me. If I need to go anywhere, my mates will give me a lift".


A man driving a lawnmower on a city street. A 50-year-old British man arrested while driving his lawnmower in a state of intoxication had his automobile license revoked for one year by a British court(AFP/Getty Images/File)

[TexasStooge]

Thieves Nabbed Trying to Silence Parrot

MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) - Afraid a talkative parrot might prove to be a stool pigeon, three thieves returned to the scene of the crime to silence the bird — only to be caught by police, authorities say.

After making off with DVD players, computers, radios, TVs and other electronic gear, one of the burglars Monday realized that a parrot in the home had heard him use the nickname "J.J." for one of his accomplices and was repeating it.

"They were afraid the bird would stool on them," police Maj. Billy Garrett said.

They went back for the bird and were loading it into the getaway car when police arrived, authorities said. The chase ended a few blocks away when the men crashed their car.

The light-green parrot, a 6-year-old bird named Marshmallow, flew away when its cage broke open in the crash. Felicia Cobb and her children have not seen their pet since then.

Three men, ages 18 to 25, were arrested.

[Brent]

[TexasStooge]

Conman Arrested in Cash Scam

ADDIS ABABA, Ethiopia (Reuters) - A conman persuaded an Ethiopian town's inhabitants to give him hundreds of dollars by promising to multiply the cash and make it "fall like rain" from the sky, police said on Wednesday.

The man took $695 from people in eastern Kazamile town on Oct. 18 claiming he could return it to them many times over with the help of a demon, Seargent Seyoum Assefa, a police spokesman in Gorgurtu District, told state-run Ethiopian News Agency.

"The imposter told his clients to cover their faces so that a demon who would descend from the sky to talk to him would not harm them," Sergent Seyoum said.

"As the unsuspecting people who expected that their money would come like rain from the sky covered their faces, the imposter disappeared from the area."

Police arrested the man and are questioning him.

[TexasStooge]

Woman Allegedly Steals Boyfriend's Ashes

PORTAGE, Wis. (AP/Portage Daily Register) - Sheriff's deputies have arrested a woman for digging up her dead boyfriend's ashes from a Columbia County cemetery more than 10 years ago and drinking the beer that was buried with him, possibly out of spite for his family.

Karen Stolzmann, now 44, was arrested Tuesday in a case Columbia County Detective Wayne Smith calls "twisted and bizarre."

Sheboygan County District Attorney Joe De Cecco said Thursday he would likely determine this week if possession charges should be filed in his county since the urn was found at Stolzmann's Sheboygan home. A call to the Columbia County district attorney's office was not immediately returned Thursday.

Stolzmann has already been charged with a misdemeanor count of concealing stolen property.

Michael Hendrickson, 27, died in 1992 from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. His family contacted authorities three weeks ago because they found out his remains had been stolen.

An exhumation revealed Hendrickson's cremated remains were missing from Cambria Cemetery in Cambria. Beer and cigarettes that were buried with him were also missing.

Sheriff's deputies investigated and were led to Stolzmann. Detectives searched her home and found her hiding in the shower.

The remains, located in her garage, had "identifiable things to make us believe they're (Hendrickson's)," Smith said.

Some of Hendrickson's memorabilia was also recovered, but Smith believes Stolzmann drank the beer buried with the remains.

Stolzmann was arrested Tuesday night and later released, with a Nov. 15 return date.

Detective Jay Yerges said Stolzmann and Hendrickson were living together in the early 1990s, both married to other people. The relationship was stormy, with a pattern of alcohol and domestic abuse, Yerges said.

Stolzmann was present when Hendrickson shot himself in January 1992. Yerges said Hendrickson's family blamed her for his death and she was not invited to his services.

"I feel that her motive was spite," Yerges said. "If she has the cremains, that's her control over (Hendrickson's) family."

Hendrickson's family, who live in Cleveland, Wis., declined comment, but Smith said they were happy to hear the remains were found.

Robbing graves is a felony offense, but authorities say the six-year statute of limitations has passed for prosecution.

But there may be a way to prosecute because no one knew the remains were missing until now, he said.

Until prosecutors decide on other charges, Hendrickson's remains will stay in evidence.
___

Information from: Portage Daily Register, http://www.portage.scwn.com

[TexasStooge]

Moviegoer convicted of assault for attacking man who shushed him

ANN ARBOR, Mich. (AP/Court TV) — A man accused of puncturing a lung and breaking the ribs of another moviegoer who had shushed him was convicted of felony assault.

Paul Elrod, who was convicted Wednesday, faces up to 10 years in prison on a count of assault with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder. His sentencing was set for Dec. 2.

According to trial testimony, Elrod, 39, of Milan, arrived late at a March 20 screening of the French-language cartoon "The Triplets of Belleville." He told his wife shortly after the movie started that he had had trouble finding a parking space at the Ann Arbor theater.

Jamin Eisenbach turned around and said, "Sshh," putting a finger to his mouth. Eisenbach testified that he felt the back of his seat being kicked off and on during the movie and also heard coughing behind him and blowing into his hair.

The men confronted each other after the movie. Eisenbach testified that Elrod kicked him in the chest, causing him to fall backward down some steps and to the landing where he hit a banister railing, breaking his ribs and puncturing his lung.

Eisenbach, of Ypsilanti, spent nine days in the hospital.

Elrod admitted he was upset over being shushed, but claimed he was defending himself. He told The Ann Arbor News as he left the courtroom that he planned to appeal.

[TexasStooge]

Forgery suspect tries to pay jail fee with phony money

THURSTON, Wash. (Court TV) - If Maurion Hulett makes bail by check or cash, police in Thurston, Wash., will be paying attention.

After the 28-year-old Seattle man was arrested for trying to cash a forged check, he tried to pay his booking fee with a fake $20 bill.

Captain Dan Kimball of the Thurston County Sheriff's Department said employees at a check-cashing counter at the Lucky Eagle Casino became suspicious when Hulett and another cohort, Steven Faucett, 21, tried to cash two paychecks Oct. 14. Kimball said that although both checks listed the same business, their appearances were completely different. Employees could also tell that one of the checks had been printed from a computer.

Casino security contacted police, who took the two men into custody for forgery charges.

Both men were asked to pay a $100 booking fee at the county jail, Kimball said. Hulett claimed to have only $20 and presented a single bill to the clerk, who scanned the money with a device that determined the note was a fake.

Faced with the possibility of an additional counterfeiting charge, the alleged forger denied knowing the money was phony.

"He told us he did a drug deal and the money was the change the drug dealer gave back to him," Kimball said.

Both men were charged with forgery and are being held at the Thurston County Jail. Prosecutors will determine whether Hulett will face an additional charge for the fake bill.

[TexasStooge]

Man allegedly robs bank to pay electric bill

JACKSON COUNTY, Mich. (Court TV) - Michael Dwight McGee's lightbulb moment proved to be dim-witted.

The 40-year-old Michigan man was arrested Oct. 27, three weeks after he allegedly robbed a bank to pay off his overdue utilities bill.

Jackson County Sheriff's Detective Sgt. Robert Cole said McGee went into Fifth Third Bank Oct. 5 and gave a teller a note demanding $1000. He wore sunglasses and a hat and indicated that he had a weapon. The teller gave McGee the money, and the thief fled.

Cole said the suspect left the hold-up note at the crime scene, and local police and the FBI were able to lift his finger prints and use them to track him down.

When McGee was apprehended, he told authorities that he decided to rob the bank because he needed money to pay a past-due utilities bill.

"He said when he woke up that morning, the energy company had shut off his heat and his kids were cold," Sgt. Cole said. "He went out looking for a job, but found himself in front of the bank. He wrote the holdup note in the parking lot."

After the robbery, McGee allegedly used the stolen money to pay off his $800 energy bill and have service restored to his home.

McGee is being held at the Jackson County Jail. He faces life imprisonment if found guilty of robbing the bank.

[Brent]

[TexasStooge]

Something You Don't See Everyday...

BERLIN (Reuters) - German police detained a naked 25-year-old woman and her 23-year-old partner who were engaged in sexual intercourse on the pavement in the middle of a busy shopping district, police said Saturday.

Police in the western town of Duelmen said the couple were spotted by pedestrians late Friday morning having intercourse. Pedestrians in the town of 40,000 called police, but the couple initially ignored police orders to stop.

"The naked couple continued their passion-filled activity on the cold asphalt," a police spokesman said. "They finally followed police instructions to stop on the third warning."

The spokesman said the two face a 100-euro ($125) fine each for disturbing the peace.

[TexasStooge]

Police 'Lash' Teacher Who Hit Girl with Shoe

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia (Reuters) - Police in Saudi Arabia administered 10 lashes to a Filipina teacher in front of her students for striking a schoolgirl, a newspaper said on Tuesday.

The Saudi Gazette said Lucia Evangelista was punished for hitting 14-year-old Zena Maria Thirwall with a high-heeled shoe during an argument with the girl's British father at the International Philippine School in the Gulf city of Al-Khobar last December.

The father filed a police complaint and insisted the punishment be carried out in public, the paper said.

It said Evangelista, shackled hand and foot and covered head to toe in an abaya, or long black cloak, knelt down to receive the beating. She had already served a five-day prison sentence.

A picture of the incident showed a policeman wielding a cane over a kneeling black figure. The policeman's arm was not raised and the newspaper said the lashes were light and symbolic.

[TexasStooge]

Man Charged in Tongue Bite Attack

LONDON, England (Reuters) - A British man was remanded in custody on Monday charged with attacking three women in the northwest of England, including one who had part of her tongue bitten off.

Andrew Humphris from London appeared at Blackpool Magistrates Court and was charged with unlawful and malicious wounding, dangerous driving and sexual assault.

He will appear at Preston Crown Court on November 8.

Police launched a major manhunt after the separate attacks in Blackpool and Cheshire on Friday morning.

In one of the attacks, a 26-year-old woman had a substantial part of her tongue bitten off.

[TexasStooge]

Something You Don't See Everyday...

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - German police detained a naked 25-year-old woman and her 23-year-old partner who were engaged in sexual intercourse on the pavement in the middle of a busy shopping district, police said Saturday.

Police in the western town of Duelmen said the couple were spotted by pedestrians late Friday morning having intercourse. Pedestrians in the town of 40,000 called police, but the couple initially ignored police orders to stop.

"The naked couple continued their passion-filled activity on the cold asphalt," a police spokesman said. "They finally followed police instructions to stop on the third warning."

The spokesman said the two face a 100-euro ($125) fine each for disturbing the peace.

[TexasStooge]

Idaho Man Accused of Stealing Underwear

POCATELLO, Idaho (AP) - A 44-year-old man is accused of breaking into a student housing area at Idaho State University to steal underwear from the laundry room.

The man, who reportedly admitted he was wearing a stolen thong during the interview with police, is charged with two counts of unlawful entry and two counts of petit theft.

After several reports of missing female undergarments, Idaho State University's Public Safety began paying more attention to the laundry room's surveillance camera.

While checking the monitor at headquarters the evening of Oct. 22, an officer noticed a man rummaging through laundry and called Pocatello police.

Campus security officers arrived to find the suspect still at the scene.

Pocatello police Lt. Steve Findley said the man admitted having a long-standing affinity for stealing women's underwear.

"Reports like this are fairly infrequent," Findley said. "And it's very infrequent that someone with a glitch like this is actually apprehended."

The man, who was not identified, is not a student at the university.