The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Suspects ages 55 to 70 busted in cocaine ring

VIENNA, Austria (AP) — Austrian authorities said Wednesday they busted a group of older men dubbed the "Grandpa Gang" who allegedly were involved in selling cocaine.

An undisclosed number of suspects ranging in age from 55 to 70 were detained by police on suspicion of involvement in the ring, including the alleged leader, a 58-year-old man whose name was not released, Vienna police said in a statement.

Police arrested the suspects in a raid on a penthouse apartment in downtown Vienna, where they also seized cocaine with an estimated street value of more than $260,000.

Authorities said the drugs were brought from Belgium and the Netherlands for sale in Austria and had been hidden in letters and envelopes in the apartment. Police used drug-sniffing dogs to find the cocaine cache.

Several other suspected members of the group were arrested in May, and in September, authorities seized more cocaine that investigators believe belonged to the group, police said.

[TexasStooge]

Cop costumed as Shrek scares thief

ALBERTA, Canada (Court TV) - Authorities say that a fleeing robbery suspect chose to take his chances in jail rather than face capture at the hands of a green ogre.

His pursuer was an off-duty police officer dressed up as the movie character Shrek.

According to Lethbridge Staff Sgt. Zealand Leavitt, on Oct. 30, the 18-year-old suspect and his male accomplice had just shoplifted items from a liquor store when they encountered off-duty Lethbridge Constable Mark Smallbones.

Smallbones was on his way to a Halloween party when he stopped at the store to buy some beer, Zealand said. The six-foot-three, 260-pound constable was covered in green paint and wore the same outfit as the popular animated character.

The costumed officer gave chase when the suspects fled the store. He reportedly pursued one of the thieves and shouted, "Stop! Police!" The thief ignored the order.

"When he turned around and saw who was chasing him, he was scared for his safety and didn't want to stop," Zealand said. "He ran faster instead."

The suspect reportedly did not believe Smallbones was a police officer. He turned around and ran back towards the scene of the crime, where he was arrested by other officers.

He later told police that he chose to return to the store because he had been running towards an isolated area and became worried about what his green pursuer would do to him if he was caught. He decided that it was safer to be arrested by real officers in a crowded setting.

The suspect, whose name has not been released, was charged with theft. His accomplice is still at large.

[TexasStooge]

Bank to robber: Sorry, under construction

KENNESAW, Ga. (Court TV) - A little pre-robbery research would have saved Michael Donald Marshall a heap of trouble.

The alleged bank robber targeted a bank that had no money — the bank was still under construction.

Police in Kennesaw, Ga., arrested the 39-year-old man Nov. 3 just as he walked empty-handed out of a Bank of America branch that had yet to open for business.

Kennesaw Police spokesperson Officer Scott Luther said Marshall somehow failed to notice the steady stream of construction workers coming in and out of the bank. The robber entered the bank at about 2:15 p.m. and demanded $500. He told tellers that he was armed.

The tellers, who were at the bank for training, told Marshall that the bank was not open and that they had no money. Meanwhile, one of the tellers managed to sneak away and dial 911, Luther said.

Police arrived as the frustrated robber was leaving the bank. They arrested Marshall and charged him with armed robbery. The suspect is being held without bond in the Cobb County Adult Detention Center.

[TexasStooge]

Woman jailed for shoddy housekeeping

DOUGLAS COUNTY, Neb. (Court TV) - Rosie Fellman is no domestic diva.

A judge in Douglas County, Neb., sentenced Fellman to 45 days in jail for her less-than-stellar housekeeping skills.

Garbage found inside of Fellman's home and her garage was piled over five feet high, according to Douglas County City Prosecutor Marty Conroy.

Neighbors and city inspectors have spent six years trying to convince Fellman to clean up her home, but have not been successful.

"There are several pending cases against her," Conroy said. "She's resisted all orders to clean up."

On a recent visit to the property, inspectors reportedly found the driveway littered with over 100 overflowing garbage cans.

Fellman's sentence will be divided into 10-day intervals, with a 30-day break after each segment to allow her to work on cleaning up her home. She could face another 45 days in jail if the judge finds her cleanup efforts unsatisfactory.

Conroy said Douglas County housing officials have filed a separate civil complaint against Fellman and plan to demolish her home.

Fellman, who lives alone, is appealing the sentence and the demolition order.

[TexasStooge]

Man Allegedly Bites Officer, Police Dog

KANSAS CITY, Missouri (AP) - Police say a man bit an officer and his dog Friday after trying to stiff a cab driver on an early morning fare.

Mark. A McClarty, 28, of Kansas City, Kansas, was charged Friday with assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest and stealing.

Capt. Rich Lockhart said the suspect broke the skin on an officer's hand when he bit him. The man then nearly bit the ear off the police dog.

Lockhart said a cab driver told a police officer at 2:15 a.m. that someone had refused to pay a fare. When the officer found the man nearby and got out of his car to stop him, Lockhart said, but the man spun around and punched the officer.

Lockhart said the officer used a remote control to release his police dog from the patrol car, and the dog joined the fight. After the dog bit the suspect, the man bit back and nearly took off the dog's ear.

The suspect also bit the policeman's hand before other officers arrived and used a Taser stun gun to subdue him.

The officer was treated at a hospital, while the dog's ear was reattached by a veterinarian.

[TexasStooge]

Wash. Woman Takes Revenge on Wrong Man

CURTIS, Wash. (AP) - A woman who was angry about finding her ex-boyfriend with another woman took out her frustration on another man, accidentally.

The woman was driving when she thought she saw her ex-boyfriend's car pull out in front of her. She forced the car off the road as they entered a bend and rammed it three times, State Patrol troopers said.

When the two cars finally came to a stop, the woman, Theresa M. Wilson, 43, realized it was not her ex-boyfriend.

Wilson was arrested by troopers and booked into the Lewis County Jail for investigation of second-degree assault.

Wilson had mistaken the red 1987 Chevrolet Sprint for her boyfriend's maroon 1988 Chevrolet Spectrum when the collision occurred around 6:45 a.m. Tuesday.

The driver of the Sprint, Tim Baars, 47, was on his way to work and at first thought Wilson's car just wanted to get around him.

"That's not even close to what she was thinking," Baars said. "Things like that just don't happen around here."

Baars said he suffered some soreness from the collision.

[TexasStooge]

Teachers Arrested After Brawl at Game

FORT PAYNE, Ala. (AP) - Two DeKalb County teachers, a man and a woman, were arrested after what police described as a fight at a junior high school basketball game.

Timothy Stephen King, 46, of Rainsville and Terry Carney Trash, 48, of Fyffe surrendered to police Thursday in Sylvania, where the incident occurred Monday.

Both were charged with disorderly conduct and freed on $500 bond, said Sylvania Police Chief Jonathan Langley. They are expected to appear in court on Dec. 8.

Police told the Times-Journal that the fight apparently began at halftime of the boys game between Fyffe and Sylvania. King teaches health and physical education at Fyffe, while Thrash teaches special education in Sylvania, said Charles Warren, the county school superintendent.

The second half of the game was delayed while order was restored, Langley said.

"There was substantial evidence to warrant those charges," Langley told the newspaper. "As a police officer it bothers me because that's school violence. As a parent that has a child in the DeKalb County school system, it is a concern of mine and a lot of other parents."

The incident marked the third time in a year that adults have been arrested following altercations at youth basketball games in DeKalb County.

Three people were convicted in a fight at a girls game in Fort Payne last December, and a Pisgah man was charged with assault after allegedly punching a referee at a game for sixth-grade girls in January.
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Information from: TIMES JOURNAL

[TexasStooge]

Pastor writes $150 checks to robbers, uses real names

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) — Two men who robbed the pastor of a Kansas City church at gunpoint left behind two clues for the cops to check out: their names.

The Rev. Tony R. Caldwell was short of cash, so he offered to write each man a check for $150. The men agreed, making certain the pastor knew the correct spellings of their names.

The robbery happened Wednesday night when one of the men asked to speak to Caldwell after a Bible study at the Eternal Life Church. Caldwell invited the man to his upstairs office, where the man said he wanted another chance in a church program he had been kicked out of. The program provides food and shelter to men who are homeless or recently released from jail.

A second man, who also was kicked out of the program and banned from the building over theft allegations, walked into the office as they talked.

"I knew I had a problem at that point," Caldwell said. "They both smelled of liquor, and their eyes were all bloodshot."

The second man asked for money and said, "It's up to you. I mean, your congregation could get shot up or your church could burn down."

Worried about church members still downstairs, Caldwell offered to write the men checks.

"I wasn't going to push this issue," he said.

[TexasStooge]

Nude Man Jumps Into Lizard Tank at Zoo

NEW YORK (AP) - A man was undergoing psychiatric evaluation after he jumped naked into a pool of carnivorous reptiles at the Bronx Zoo, authorities said.

The episode happened at about 1:30 p.m. Friday, when the man, whose name was not released, stripped off his clothes and climbed a 5-foot wall surrounding the zoo's tank of caimans — a type of crocodile from Central and South America, police said. The tank was inside the zoo's World of Darkness section, which features nocturnal animals.

He tried to touch one of the toothy lizards before police and zookeepers were called to the scene and pulled him out.

"Thankfully, no one got hurt and it didn't happen while there were any school groups around," zoo spokesman Linda Corcoran told the Daily News for Saturday editions.

It was not clear why the man jumped into the tank. He was taken to Jacobi Medical Center for observation.

[TexasStooge]

Man Allegedly Fakes Break-In to Hock Ring

MILFORD, Conn. (AP) - Is the wedding still on?

That's one of the unanswered questions in the case of a Milford man who police say sold his fiancee's engagement ring after staging a break-in at the couple's home.

George Rich, 43, was charged Tuesday with falsely reporting an incident and providing a false statement. He was released on a written promise to appear in Superior Court on Dec. 7.

Police said Rich made the couple's home look like a burglar had broken in and stolen jewelry, including the gold engagement ring with diamonds. Court documents show Rich pawned the items for $5,000 at the Hock It To Me shop on Bridgeport Avenue.

On Sept. 21, Rich called police to report that burglars ransacked his home and stole a gold cocktail ring and the engagement ring, both valued at $2,500. He also said a gold chain was missing.

Detectives became suspicious when they noticed Rich's name in a weekly update on pawnshop activity. Records from Hock It To Me showed that Rich pledged a gold chain and two gold rings — including the engagement ring — at the business on Sept. 14.

Rich later admitted the scheme to detectives, police said.

[TexasStooge]

Pa. Man Convicted in Car-Spraying Case

BLOOMSBURG, Pa. (AP) - A man was convicted of using a specially rigged system in his car to spray a family's vehicle with a chemical mixture.

Charles Lucarelli, 58, who defended himself at trial, was convicted Tuesday by a Columbia County jury of endangering a family, risking a widespread catastrophe and criminal mischief.

Lucarelli was ordered to undergo a psychiatric evaluation prior to sentencing and will remain free under existing bail pending completion of that evaluation and background reports.

On Jan. 11, Lucarelli pulled into a truck stop and sprayed cars with a mixture of paint thinner and rubbing alcohol. Police said they found a container in the trunk rigged to spray the liquid, alongside containers of paint thinner, rubbing alcohol and ammonia.

Lucarelli handled questioning of witnesses and presented several of his own in trying to downplay the dangers posed by the chemicals.

A defense witness, retired Bloomsburg University chemistry professor Roy Pointer, testified that the chemicals found in Lucarelli's car could be bought at any hardware store.

Lucarelli has said the system of tanks and hoses in his trunk was to help keep ice off the wheels.

The incident prompted an emergency evacuation and a costly chemical spill alert.

"I had no intent to harm anyone. I had no motive to harm anyone," Lucarelli said in his closing arguments. "I never harmed anyone in my life."

District Attorney Gary Norton said Lucarelli's self-defense was "pathetic" and "humorous" at times, but that the case involved serious acts by "a dangerous man."

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Information from: Press Enterprise

[TexasStooge]

Woman Sentenced in Split-Personality Case

FREEHOLD, N.J. (AP) - Nira Nevins said only one of her many personalities robbed a bank, but they're all going to jail. Nevins, 55, woman maintains that an alternate, childlike personality came over her the day she robbed the bank.

"I am so ashamed of our actions," she told Superior Court Judge Edward M. Neafsey on Tuesday.

The judge ordered Nevins to serve 18 years in prison for kidnapping the bank's head teller and forcing her to drive from the scene. He also imposed a concurrent 13-year prison term for the armed robbery of the bank in 2002.

Nevins must serve 15 years and three months before becoming eligible for parole.

A jury convicted her in August following a trial that included the appearance of "Jimmy," the child personality Nevins said robbed the bank of just more than $5,000.

Nevins' attorney, Paul Edinger, had argued she suffered from dissociative identity disorder, formerly called multiple personality disorder, and should be acquitted by reason of insanity.

She testified that she had considered suicide the morning of March 20, 2002. The next thing she recalled was being in a police car after the robbery.

But Assistant Monmouth County Prosecutor Jacquelynn Seely portrayed Nevins as a manipulative, intelligent woman who planned the robbery to pay off $124,000 in debts.

Jurors rejected Nevins' defense, saying afterward they believed Jimmy's emergence was faked.

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Information from: Asbury Park Press

[TexasStooge]

Cop Allegedly Robs Bank, Plays Backgammon

PATRAS, Greece (AP) - A 23-year-old policeman was arrested in southern Greece after allegedly robbing a bank and then visiting a nearby coffee shop to play a game of backgammon, authorities said Wednesday.

The officer, who was not named, was arrested Tuesday in Kato Achayia, near the southern port city of Patras, after allegedly snatching just over US$6,500. Wearing a crash helmet, he allegedly threatened staff at a branch of the private Alpha Bank with his police handgun.

"He left his car outside the bank, and a girl was in the vehicle waiting for him," local police chief Dimitris Tsiouvaras said. "Then they went for coffee."

The suspect told police he had robbed the bank to pay off credit card debts, Tsiouvaras said.

[TexasStooge]

Are You Kidding Me?

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - Thieves have stolen scantily clad garden gnomes from a gnome peepshow in an eastern German amusement park, park manager Frank Ullrich said on Thursday.

"The gnomes display naked body parts -- the same ones you'd expect to see in a human peep show," Ullrich said of his missing stars.

The adults-only attraction at Dwarf-Park Trusetal, where visitors peep through keyholes to see the saucy German miniatures in compromising poses, was smashed open early on Thursday morning.

Ullrich said he feared the gnomes would not be traced.

"I doubt they're standing in someone's garden, they'll have to have been hidden inside."

[TexasStooge]

Angry Father Cuffs Himself to Government Minister

LONDON, England (Reuters) - A disgruntled British father handcuffed himself to a government minister on Friday in a bid to draw attention to a campaign for divorced fathers' rights.

Campaigner Jolly Stanesby pounced on Minister for Children Margaret Hodge at a conference in Manchester and snapped on a set of metal cuffs. Police freed the trapped minister with bolt cutters after half an hour.

Fathers 4 Justice, which has staged a series of similar high profile stunts this year, claimed responsibility.

The group is campaigning against what it says is a court bias toward mothers in determining how much access divorcing parents should have to their children.

In May, they breached security at the House of Commons and pelted Prime Minister Tony Blair with flour-filled condoms.

In September a member of the group dressed as Batman climbed a ledge on Queen Elizabeth's Buckingham Palace residence and unfurled a campaign banner.

Last month, campaigners dressed as Batman and The Hulk scaled a rollercoaster in the seaside resort of Blackpool.

[TexasStooge]

Club boss fined for trying to run over referee

CHISINAU (Reuters) - The boss of a small Moldovan club has been fined $2,000 (1,080 pounds) for driving his jeep on to the pitch and trying to run over the referee after a disputed penalty.

Local media reported that Mihai Macovei, president of second division Roso Floren, drove his jeep straight at referee Vitaly Onike after he awarded a penalty against his team in the first half of last week's match against rivals Politehnika Chisinau.

"I've had enough of these refs, they are so corrupt and biased that you just can't stand still anymore. You have to do something to stop this," the media quoted Macovei as saying on Friday.

"I didn't punch or threaten him (referee). I just drove my car on to the pitch to protest against that penalty and drove away after a few minutes. I didn't harm anybody."

However, the referee decided to abandon the match and this week the disciplinary committee of the Moldovan soccer federation awarded Politehnika a 3-0 win and fined the Roso boss.

A team from a small village near the capital, Roso have been trying to win promotion to the eight-team Moldovan premier league for the first time in the club's history. They are in fourth place midway through the season.

[TexasStooge]

Man arrested for claiming he was blinded four times

DOBBS FERRY, N.Y. (Court TV) - Either Brian Calen has four eyes, or he bilked insurance companies out of more than $1 million.

The Dobbs Ferry, N.Y., vacationer claimed he was blinded four times on cruise ships.

During a 2002 Mississippi riverboat cruise, the 48-year-old claimed a Frisbee struck his head and caused him to lose all sight in his right eye. When he filed a $500,000 accidental death and dismemberment claim, prosecutors found out he was apparently blinded three times before — in the same eye.

Five years earlier, Calen collected $1 million after he claimed an exploding champagne bottle blinded him on another cruise.

In 1992, Calen cashed in on $75,000 when he said a ship's telescope blinded him. Prosecutors claim Calen really lost his sight nearly 20 years ago in an unrelated incident.

Calen was able to file fraudulent claims because the travel insurance policies did not require him to have physical exams, said Anne Marie Corbalis, a spokesperson for the Westchester County District Attorney.

Calen pleaded not guilty to insurance fraud on Nov. 10 and faces up to 15 years in prison.

[TexasStooge]

Distraught girlfriend jailed for dumping ashes

MANCHESTER, N. H. (Court TV) - When a New Hampshire woman broke up with her boyfriend of two years, she allegedly opted for morbid payback: Police busted her for dumping an urn containing the ashes of her ex's brother.

On Tuesday evening, police responded to a call from the boyfriend's apartment in Manchester. Peter Farrell, 47, reported that his ex-girlfriend, Jacqueline Dodge, broke in and dumped his brother's cremated remains all over the bedroom.

She also trashed his furniture, television sets and computers, and made several calls "solely for annoyance," police spokesperson Mark Fowke said.

"It was lame. What the hell was she thinking?" Fowke said.

It seems jealousy got the best of the 47-year-old.

"She is the estranged girlfriend, and apparently he was seeing someone else," Fowke said.

Dodge, who lived in the same building, hid in a nearby apartment before she was arrested early Wednesday morning, according to police. She was charged with abuse of a corpse, burglary and harassment.

Farrell is still recovering from the incident.

"He said he was distraught that his brother's ashes were spread over the floor," Fowke said.

[TexasStooge]

This story is also posted in the Sports Forum.

Football player attacked with manure

REGINA, Saskatchewan (Court TV) - When a Canadian Football League player's mistakes cost his team a spot in the prestigious Grey Cup final, he paid for it big time — in manure.

Paul McCallum, a kicker for the Saskatchewan Riders, missed two field goals Sunday against the British Columbia Lions.

The Riders lost the game by two points and were denied the chance to play in Canada's version of the Super Bowl.

As if public humiliation were not enough, zealous sports fans expressed their opinions in person, at McCallum's home in Regina, Saskatchewan.

At about 7 p.m. on Sunday, McCallum's wife reported an excessive number of cars driving by their home, according to Regina police. When she opened the door, she saw that the home was pelted with cow manure and eggs.

Kelly James Garchinski, 37, and Douglas Grimstad, 46, were charged with mischief for dumping manure at the McCallum's home and on a neighbor's property. Police are still searching for the egg-thrower.

Authorities also arrested 31-year-old Mark Conrad Lehman for uttering threats during a drive-by on Sunday evening.

McCallum has since received real gifts: He said he has been overwhelmed with flowers from supportive fans.

"I have to ask kindly if you could please stop sending flowers. My house is turning into a florist's shop," he said during a press conference.

[TexasStooge]

They Don't Come Any Dumber...

SYDNEY, Australia (Reuters) - Bemused diners watched as three hapless thieves unsuccessfully tried to kick open a sliding door in a botched attempt to rob an Australian seafood restaurant, police said on Monday.

The men, wearing balaclavas, ran off empty-handed but left their bootprints on the industrial-strength glass door in a robbery bid that Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio said could have been mistaken as "a rehearsal for a slapstick comedy."

Police said about 20 diners watched as the men, one of whom was carrying a knife, tried to push open the door of the restaurant in the coastal village of Gerringong, 140 km (85 miles) south of Sydney, and then began kicking the glass.

"They're probably more dangerous because they're dumb," police investigator Jamie Williams said.

Restaurant owner Greg Moore said diners remained calm as they watched events unfold while enjoying dessert and coffee.

"The door's open, the sign says 'Slide' but obviously with their balaclavas they couldn't read too well," Moore said.

Diners were given complimentary bottles of wine after the bizarre episode. Police later found what they believe to be a stolen car used in the robbery attempt, and are continuing their investigations.


I wonder if Mark (TWW) saw this crime.