The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Robbery Suspect Leaves Big Clue for Cops

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - Police had help in tracking down a robbery suspect ... from the suspect. Police Chief Tom Casady said officers investigating a Nov. 11 robbery had a strong clue in a $75 check from the Cass County Jail to 39-year-old Kevin Martzett.

Court records on the robbery say a 19-year-old Lincoln man was standing in his yard at about 2 a.m. on Nov. 11 when two men drove up, pointed a gun at him, forced him to get in their car and drove to an ATM.

The records say the men took $45 from the victim's wallet, then forced him to deposit the jail check, withdraw $60 and give it to them. The men then let the teenager go.

The victim identified Martzett — with help from the check — as one of the robbers. Martzett was arrested Wednesday on a robbery charge. The other suspect was being sought.

Cass County records show Martzett was arrested on Oct. 25 for failing to appear on a theft charge. He bonded out on Nov. 10.

Casady said jails typically write checks for inmates who have outstanding balances in their jail accounts when they are released.

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Information from: Lincoln Journal Star

[TexasStooge]

Dandruff Costs U.K. Criminal His Freedom

LONDON, England (AP) - A veteran criminal received the longest prison sentence of his career Monday, after being caught because of the dandruff he had left behind at the scene of an armed robbery.

Using a DNA profiling method, investigators identified Andrew Pearson as a suspect by examining 25 flakes of dandruff found in a stocking he had worn as a mask during the robbery 11 years ago.

Pearson's two accomplices in the crime remain at large.

Andrew Pearson, now 40, and the two other men escaped with $70,630 in cash after raiding a caravan company in the northeastern city of Hull in June 1993.

Pearson — who had 76 pervious convictions for crimes such as burglary, assault and robbery — was only arrested in June for the caravan crime after the relatively new DNA procedure matched his dandruff with a swab of his saliva.

Using that evidence, a jury needed only 75 minutes Monday to convict Pearson of robbery and possession of a firearm. Judge Michael Murphy then sentenced him to 12 years for the robbery and a consecutive three years for possessing a firearm.

During the crime, Pearson and his accomplices — armed with two guns and a baseball bat — held five staff members at the caravan company, one of whom was wounded by a gunshot.

The criminals fled the scene in a car that was later abandoned nearby. Part of the stocking Pearson had used as a mask was found by police, who removed the dandruff and kept it as evidence.

[TexasStooge]

Text Message Flirt Fined

ROME, Italy (Reuters) - Italians love their mobile phones and often carry out love affairs over them -- but they must beware, flirting with text messages can carry a fine.

A judge in the northern Italian town of Padua on Monday found a man who sent an unsolicited compliment by SMS guilty of harassment and fined him 300 euros ($391), Italian news agency Ansa reported.

"Since you appeared before my eyes I can't do anything but think of you," the man had written to a clerk while on lunch break, Ansa said. She took the offending SMS to the police.

Italians own more mobile phones and send more text messages per person than any other European country, according to Eurostat and Censis surveys.

[TexasStooge]

'Father Christmas' Cuffs Himself to Gate

LONDON, England (AP) - A British man campaigning for more rights for divorced or separated fathers scaled the main gate of Buckingham Palace Tuesday and chained himself to the top of a pillar.

The man, identified by campaign group Fathers 4 Justice as David Pyke, was dressed as Father Christmas and shouted slogans at a crowd that gathered to watch him.

Police closed all palace gates and external doors and cordoned off the area around his pillar.

It is not the first time Pyke has demonstrated at the palace. In September, dressed as the cartoon character Robin, he accompanied fellow protester Jason Hatch to the royal residence. Hatch, who was dressed as Batman, climbed onto a palace balcony, where he remained for several hours, but Pyke was not as successful and was quickly removed.

"We've been planning to do something today on the day of the Queen's Speech because we want to see more attention given to family law," Hatch said Tuesday, referring to the speech laying out the government's legislative program.

Hatch said Pyke separated from his wife 3 1/2 years ago and has two children he is allowed to see every other weekend.

Other stunts by Fathers 4 Justice in recent months included sending a man dressed as Spiderman to scale the London Eye Ferris wheel and another to throw purple flour at Prime Minister Tony Blair in the House of Commons.

On Friday, a Fathers for Justice campaigner handcuffed himself to Minister for Children Margaret Hodge, trapping her for more than 30 minutes until police freed her.

[TexasStooge]

Woman Claims Drug Dealer Ripped Her Off

WATERLOO, Iowa (AP) - A woman called police to report that her dealer sold her bad drugs. The woman made the call about 4:30 p.m. Friday from a coin-operated laundry and told police a drug dealer sold her crack cocaine that was possible fake.

By the time police arrived, she apparently changed her mind about filing the complaint and was gone.

[TexasStooge]

Sergeant Arrested for Toy Gun Attack in Bar

MADRID, Spain (Reuters) - A Spanish army sergeant has been arrested for staging a make-believe attack in a Madrid bar using a plastic toy gun, Defense Minister Jose Bono said on Wednesday after dropping into the bar to apologize.

The sergeant, an instructor who was teaching a group of soldiers how to protect threatened individuals, took it upon himself to simulate a shoot-out at La Amarilla, a corner bar in the Calle Mayor, right in the center of Madrid.

People's nerves in the Spanish capital are still on edge, eight months after the commuter train bombings that killed 191 people on March 11.

Bono said the initiative could have ended in tragedy if any of La Amarilla's patrons had happened to be armed, as they might have felt obliged to intervene.

"The family (the bar's owners) ... who by the way didn't let me pay for my coffee, deserved an apology from the government and the minister and so that's what I've given them," Bono said

[TexasStooge]

SpongeBob Kidnappers Seek Ransom for Doll

By The Associated Press

Have you seen this sponge? Police are looking for a a blow-up figure of SpongeBob SquarePants swiped from a Minnesota Burger King. They've found a ransom note which starts off: "We have SpongeBob." It then demands, "Give us ten Crabby Patties, fries and milkshakes."

The ransom note is signed by SpongeBob's nemesis, Plankton. A postscript reads: "Patrick is next," referring to the Bermuda shorts-wearing starfish that serves as SpongeBob's sidekick.

At a southeastern Utah Burger King, vandals made off with a 10-foot-tall SpongeBob balloon.

Employees are handing out "Missing" fliers with a full description of the popular cartoon figure — featured in a new movie.

[TexasStooge]

Police Charge Driving Teacher With DUI

MERRIMACK, N.H. (AP) - A Nashua School District driving instructor is due to appear in Merrimack District Court Dec. 1 after being charged with drunk driving Monday.

Arthur Desmeules, 66, was on his way to teach a driving class in a government vehicle when he ran off the Everett Turnpike in Merrimack and hit a post, state police said.

A trooper arrested him after responding to a call about a disabled vehicle. The car had flat tires and damage to its passenger side.

Desmeules is free on bail. Police are still investigating and have asked witnesses to contact authorities.

[TexasStooge]

Vandals Glue Store Locks on 'Black Friday'

LAFAYETTE, La. (AP) - The busiest shopping day of the year turned out to be a sticky affair. Vandals apparently glued the locks on dozens of Lafayette's biggest retailers, preventing managers from opening up promptly on lucrative "Black Friday." Hundreds of shoppers, some of whom arrived before dawn, were forced to wait outside Barnes & Noble, Old Navy and other stores while managers summoned locksmiths.

At least 200 locks on dozens of businesses were glued, including main entrances, rear doors and employee entrances, locksmith Garan Wilson said. Wilson's first job at about 5 a.m. Friday was to make his way to the front door lock at Old Navy — by pushing through about 500 shoppers waiting outside, he said.

"I found about a half a tube of glue stuck inside," he said.

Kevin Vizena, head locksmith for Pop-A-Lock in Lafayette, said the vandals squirted the glue deep inside the keyholes, forcing him to drill holes and remove the locks from the doors.

"We've never run into a day that's been quite so busy with these particular problems," Vizena said.

Chuck Trenchard, an employee of S&K Menswear, said the prank had cost his store more than $1,000 in business, because potential customers had arrived early, then took off because they couldn't get inside.

Most of the stores had their doors open for customers by midmorning, Vizena said.

Lafayette Police had no suspects but were investigating the vandalism as cases of possible criminal mischief or criminal damage to property, both misdemeanors, Lt. Angelo Iorio said.

[TexasStooge]

Man Robs Hotel, Gets Drunk, Gets Caught

HELSINKI (Reuters) - A 32 year-old man robbed a hotel in the western Finnish town of Turku, got drunk, passed out in a taxi and was picked up by police, tabloid Ilta-Sanomat reported on Saturday.

The man went to the hotel n the early hours of Friday, threatened the receptionist with a weapon, took money from the till and demanded bottles of drink, the paper said.

The receptionist was taken to a cashpoint to withdraw money and then forced into a taxi. The thief then drank to the point where he passed out. The taxi driver then alerted police.

[TexasStooge]

In-Line Skaters Charged in Puppy Theft

TORONTO, Canada (Reuters) - Canadian police have charged two men with stealing a puppy from Toronto's humane society, while using in-line skates to speed their escape.

Police said on Wednesday the two men entered the animal shelter, snatched a four-month-old Staffordshire terrier mix from its cage, and quickly skated out.

The theft was captured on camera.

One man was arrested after he was seen walking the puppy, named Sarah, on a nearby street. A second man turned himself in to police.

The two are charged with theft and possession of stolen property under C$5,000 ($4,200).

[TexasStooge]

Dad's Attempt to Teach Lesson Backfires

NEWARK, N.J. (AP) - A father's attempt to teach his daughter a lesson about drinking backfired when the teen led police to a stash of drugs and weapons inside their home.

Kevin Winston, 46, called police at 2:45 a.m. Friday after his 16-year-old daughter came home drunk and unruly. When police arrived, however, the girl told them she feared for her safety because her father stored drugs and weapons in the home.

The girl led officers to a crawl space above the ceiling where they found four semiautomatic guns and more than 600 vials of cocaine.

Winston was charged with numerous weapons and drug charges. His five daughters were placed in the custody of a relative.

"He called us on her and ended up getting locked up himself," said Newark Police Director Anthony Ambrose.

[TexasStooge]

Men Arrested for Dumping Dirt in a Forest

COEUR D'ALENE, Idaho (AP) - Two men have been arrested for dumping dirt in a national forest. The Kootenai County Sheriff's Department said the men, who have not been publicly identified, were arrested at a garage in Coeur d'Alene where the dirt had been removed and the base apparently prepared for paving.

Deputy Robert Gomez said the U.S. Forest Service confirmed that it was illegal to dump anything, including dirt, on the federal land.

Gomez said he asked the two men about dumping dirt in the national forest "and they went off on a tirade about Mother Earth."

The deputy quoted the pair as saying they had taken "perfectly good dirt" from the garage area and dumped it under a big fir tree where they used rakes to spread the soil to make it look nice.

"They both said it was a good job having given back the dirt to Mother Earth," Gomez said.

[TexasStooge]

Couple Arrested in Botched Bail Attempt

MILFORD, Conn. (AP) - A man and woman who tried to bail out a friend were arrested after police said they brought a crack pipe and drugs to the police station.

Robert Amato, 42, of New Haven, and Valerie Lawler, 20, of Wallingford, were arrested by Milford police at about 1:15 a.m. Monday.

Police said Amato drove Lawler to the Milford police station to bail out her friend, but when Lawler opened her car door to get out a crack pipe fell onto the ground, in front of a police officer.

The officer then investigated further and found a plastic bag of cocaine in the center console of the vehicle, police said.

Lawler was charged with possession of cocaine, possession of drug paraphernalia and conspiracy and was held in lieu of $1,000 bail following arraignment Monday in Superior Court.

Amato, who was charged with possession of cocaine, possession of cocaine and disorderly conduct, was held in lieu of $6,000 bail.

Milford police spokesman Officer Vaughan Dumas said Amato and Lawler weren't even at the right police station.

The friend had been arrested by Milford police on an outstanding warrant from New Haven and was quickly turned over to New Haven authorities, Dumas said.
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Information from: New Haven Register

[TexasStooge]

Store Prank Backfires; 2 Men Jailed

LA VISTA, Neb. (AP) - A joke a man played on his mom went to pot. A 22-year-old man walked into a gas station on Sunday and told the clerk that he had a gun. The clerk wasn't worried because she was his mother.

According to a police account, another customer overheard the man and, not knowing it was a joke, called authorities. Upon arriving at the station, officers found the prankster and a friend in the parking lot.

The officers smelled marijuana, and a search turned up a quarter-pound of pot and hundreds of dollars in cash. The men were arrested for drug possession.

The two men are on parole and knew they would be sent back to prison for a conviction. In a phone call, one of them asked a girlfriend to tell police that the marijuana was hers.

The woman agreed and went to the police station and said the pot was hers. But police knew the story was false because the men's call to the woman was recorded.

She was arrested for false reporting.
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Information from: Omaha World-Herald

[TexasStooge]

Man Gets Probation in Botched Castration

PITTSBURGH, Penn. (AP) - A man who botched the castration of a transgendered woman will spend the next three years on probation. "I have no intention of doing this again to animals or humans," Douglas Lenhart, 49, told Allegheny County Judge John Zottola on Monday. "I'm completely out of this. Completely done."

Zottola sentenced Lenhart to jail time he had already served and will let him serve his probation in Kansas City, Kan., where he now lives.

In July, Lenhart acknowledged trying to castrate Catherine Watson, 46. Watson was born with nonfunctioning male genitals and has lived as a woman since age 9, Lenhart's defense attorney James Wymard said.

Lenhart pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and practicing medicine without a license.

Lenhart had said Watson was "desperate" to find someone to perform the surgery and he thought he could do it because of his experience castrating animals on a farm.

[TexasStooge]

Drunken Pilot Who Buzzed Plant Sentenced

NORRISTOWN, Pa. (AP) - A drunken pilot who buzzed his plane near a nuclear power plant and came near six commercial airliners was sentenced to six to 23 months in prison on Tuesday.

John V. Salamone had a blood alcohol level of 0.15 percent when he landed the plane after an erratic, four-hour flight on Jan. 15 over the Philadelphia region, authorities said. The legal limit for pilots, set by the Federal Aviation Administration, is 0.04 percent, half the amount for drivers in Pennsylvania.

Salamone, 44, who faced up to nine years in prison, must also serve five years probation and undergo alcohol counseling, a Montgomery County judge ordered.

Salamone was convicted of risking a catastrophe and reckless endangerment after prosecutors learned the initial state charge of driving under the influence does not apply to pilots.

Lawmakers have since tried to rectify the legal loophole, passing a bill — now awaiting the governor's signature — that makes flying drunk a crime.

Salamone, flying a single-engine Piper Cherokee, meandered into New Jersey and flew into forbidden airspace. He flew as low as 100 feet and within a quarter mile of the Limerick nuclear power plant, officials said.

A Philadelphia police helicopter helped force the plane down. Officials acknowledged at the time there was little they could do, physically, to bring the plane down after the North American Aerospace Defense Command concluded it was not a terrorist threat.

[TexasStooge]

Five Charged With Stealing Mechanical Deer

KINGWOOD, W.Va. (AP) - Five young men were charged with stealing a Division of Natural Resources' mechanical deer after one left identifying information at the scene, leading police to a pickup truck where the robot deer's head was in plain sight.

Officers found the deer's body hidden in a building at the Fellowsville baseball field.

"I don't think those boys thought this through," Conservation Officer Cpl. Rich McCrobie said.

Patrick Bolyard, 20; Terry J. Goff III, 19; Joe Thomas Haskiell, 21; Andrew T. Knotts, 16; and Thomas J. Shahan, 19, were charged Nov. 25 with stealing the mechanical deer on Nov. 21. All live in Tunnelton.

DNR officers erected the deer about 75 yards from the road in the Fellowsville area where they'd had complaints of poaching the weekend before deer gun season began.

"One vehicle came up and spotlighted. We pursued it, and another came by and took the deer," Conservation Officer 1st Class Gary Johnson said.

Goff pleaded no contest to petit larceny, destruction of property, spotlighting and failure to stop and check game. Magistrate Diane Thomas sentenced him to 14 days in jail plus fines and costs totaling $1,244. Of that, $600 is restitution for the mechanical deer.

Thomas levied 10 days jail time and a total of $744 in fines and costs against Bolyard for his no contest plea to conspiracy to violate game laws, hunting from a motor vehicle, spotlighting and failure to stop and check game.

Chief Magistrate Janice Snider sentenced Shahan to 14 days in jail and a total of $1,244, including $600 restitution, for his no contest plea to spotlighting, petit larceny, conspiracy to violate game laws and destruction of property.

Snider ordered Knotts to pay $577 for tickets charging him with hunting without a license, hunting from a motor vehicle, spotlighting and conspiracy to violate game laws.

A conviction for spotlighting also results in automatic revocation of hunting licenses for two years.

Haskiell had not entered a plea in Magistrate Court by Tuesday. He is charged with destruction of property, petit larceny, spotlighting and conspiracy to violate game laws.

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Information from: The Dominion Post

[TexasStooge]

Scrooge Slammed for Christmas Correctness

SYDNEY, Australia (Reuters) - Sydney Mayor Clover Moore has been cast as the Grinch who stole Christmas after decorating her city's town hall with just one meager Christmas tree out of fear of offending non-Christians.

Moore has been accused of political correctness gone mad after residents in Australia's largest city woke to newspaper headlines demanding "Where's Our Christmas?" and complaints the city had not done enough to celebrate the festive season.

Sydney's The Daily Telegraph compared Sydney's Scrooge-like approach with opulent Christmas displays in major capitals like London, New York and Paris.

It invited readers to send a cutout postcard, depicting Moore as children's author Dr Seuss's famous character, the Grinch, to Town Hall in complaint.

"Christmas is a time of wonder, fun and festivities, for young and old. As the nation's premier city ... surely we deserve better," the paper said.

Talkback radio programs were flooded with calls and even conservative Prime Minister John Howard joined in.

"This is political correctness from central casting. It is unbelievable," Howard told Sydney radio 2UE.

"This is the ridiculous thing about this blanding out of any kind of distinctive identity we might have. Christmas is not only a religious festival ... it is also part of the history and culture of this country," he said.

Moore defended her approach to the holiday season, saying Sydney had this year spent A$300,000 ($230,770) more on decorations around the city than in 2003.

"Today, Christmas is a celebration for everyone and I'd like to encourage everyone to get out in the city and celebrate and I especially urge building owners and retailers throughout the city to get into the Christmas spirit," she said in a statement.

Sydney is a multicultural city of some 4 million people, with about 200 separate ethnic groups represented, according to official figures.

[TexasStooge]

Police Follow Doughnut Trail, Solve Crime

HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) - Police followed a trail of doughnuts to find a stolen Krispy Kreme delivery truck.

"It has a happy ending," Swatara Township Sgt. Robert Simmonds said. "The evidence was brought back to the police station, and the cops are eating the doughnuts."

It was 12:45 a.m. Thursday when Krispy Kreme deliveryman Tim Trostle stopped at a Swatara Township convenience store and left the engine running as he made the delivery. Someone fled with the truck, but since Trostle had left the back doors open, police were able to follow a trail of doughnuts.

The doughnut trail ended before long, but police in a nearby township found a doughnut cart near the Harrisburg city line. City police found the truck near a downtown bar.

No arrests were immediately made. The truck was returned to the company.

Although Simmonds had been joking about police taking the contents of the truck, he acknowledged seeing Krispy Kreme doughnuts in a station conference room Thursday.

"I suspect that the manager from the Krispy Kreme might have given us a little thank you for our efforts," he said.