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StormChasr

#41 Postby StormChasr » Fri May 13, 2005 3:40 pm

What is the difference between a cocktail lounge and an elephant fart?

A cocktail lounge is a bar room, and an elephant fart is a Barrrrrrroooooommmmmmm.
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Skywatch_NC
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#42 Postby Skywatch_NC » Fri May 13, 2005 5:16 pm

StormChasr wrote:What is the difference between a cocktail lounge and an elephant fart?

A cocktail lounge is a bar room, and an elephant fart is a Barrrrrrroooooommmmmmm.



:roflmao:
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#43 Postby Dee Bee » Fri May 13, 2005 9:52 pm

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on a wall?
Art

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of the door?
Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob

What do you call a woman missing a leg?
Aileen
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#44 Postby coriolis » Sat May 14, 2005 8:03 am

What do you call a guy that falls in an excavation?

Phil
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#45 Postby TexasStooge » Sat May 14, 2005 10:55 am

StormChasr wrote:What is the difference between a cocktail lounge and an elephant fart?

A cocktail lounge is a bar room, and an elephant fart is a Barrrrrrroooooommmmmmm.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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#46 Postby TexasStooge » Fri May 20, 2005 12:47 pm

What do you call a bunch of lobsters who don't share?










Shellfish!
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#47 Postby StormChasr » Fri May 20, 2005 1:37 pm

* Why did the man jump off the Empire State Building?







* He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.
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#48 Postby TexasStooge » Thu Jun 02, 2005 1:31 pm

Do you know what style of shoes a frog loves most?






Open toad!
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#49 Postby Dee Bee » Thu Jun 02, 2005 2:08 pm

TexasStooge wrote:Do you know what style of shoes a frog loves most?






Open toad!



:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
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#50 Postby drudd1 » Thu Jun 02, 2005 2:22 pm

If you are an American when you go in the restroom, and you are an American when you leave the restroom, then what nationality are you while in the bathroom?



European!
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#51 Postby Skywatch_NC » Thu Jun 02, 2005 10:10 pm

Received this from an aunt in an email:

A silly-to-read in less than a minute:
>
>
>
> An old guru walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive
> set of calluses on his feet.
>
> He also ate very little, which made him rather frail.
>
> And with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
>
> This made him ...
>
>
>
> (keep going...)
>
> ...
>
>
>
>
>
> way down
> ..
>
> ...
>
> ...
>
> a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

:) :lol:
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#52 Postby Dee Bee » Fri Jun 03, 2005 11:29 am

Skywatch_NC wrote:Received this from an aunt in an email:

>
> a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

:) :lol:



:22: :22:

(Now, seriously, how many of y'all who caught this post didn't just READ the punchline, but SANG it??!! :lol: )
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#53 Postby TexasStooge » Fri Jun 03, 2005 11:40 am

drudd1 wrote:If you are an American when you go in the restroom, and you are an American when you leave the restroom, then what nationality are you while in the bathroom?



European!


Watch it, European (you're a peein') on my boot! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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#54 Postby coriolis » Fri Jun 03, 2005 7:17 pm

Skywatch_NC wrote:super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.


Now I've seen everything and my life is now complete.
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#55 Postby TexasStooge » Sat Jun 04, 2005 10:38 am

What is more peculiar than watching a catfish?




Watching a goldfish bowl.
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#56 Postby TexasStooge » Fri Jun 17, 2005 2:14 pm

Q: What happened when Luke Skywalker was struggling with his chopsticks in a local Chinese restaurant?



A: Obi Wan Kenobi appeared to him in a vision and said, "Use the *fork* Luke!"
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#57 Postby TexasStooge » Fri Jun 24, 2005 1:33 pm

Q: Why are cats similar to sentences?



A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws; a sentence has pause at the end of its clause.
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#58 Postby LaPlaceFF » Fri Jun 24, 2005 1:56 pm

Did you hear about the math professor who tried to board a plane with a protractor, a compass, and a textbook?

He was caught with weapons of Math Instruction!!! :D :lol:
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#59 Postby vbhoutex » Fri Jun 24, 2005 5:03 pm

LaPlaceFF wrote:Did you hear about the math professor who tried to board a plane with a protractor, a compass, and a textbook?

He was caught with weapons of Math Instruction!!! :D :lol:


GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#60 Postby TexasStooge » Sat Jul 09, 2005 10:57 am

Three tomatoes are walking down the street—a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry and goes over to the baby tomato, smashes him on the head and says, "catch up!"
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