Well, here it goes...EDIT: back to being just friends...
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I'm with Helen - that was a very cruel thing Liz said. Very. She has problems Jeremy and they are not yours. Let her go and break off all contact with her. Hang up if she calls you, each and every time.
That said, I strongly advise you to talk to someone who can be an objective party - a Minister, Priest, student counselor at NKU, a therapist, etc. Not family, not a friend and not ~just~ your wx friends here. But someone who can remain an impartial listener and advise you. I think you need to vent about this and past relationships, really get a handle on them so you can move on. Just my 2 cents.
Of course, vent away here but I would highly suggest talking to someone who's experienced with situations like this. To help you.
My best to you.
Mary
That said, I strongly advise you to talk to someone who can be an objective party - a Minister, Priest, student counselor at NKU, a therapist, etc. Not family, not a friend and not ~just~ your wx friends here. But someone who can remain an impartial listener and advise you. I think you need to vent about this and past relationships, really get a handle on them so you can move on. Just my 2 cents.
Of course, vent away here but I would highly suggest talking to someone who's experienced with situations like this. To help you.
My best to you.
Mary
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Miss Mary wrote:I'm with Helen - that was a very cruel thing Liz said. Very. She has problems Jeremy and they are not yours. Let her go and break off all contact with her. Hang up if she calls you, each and every time.
That said, I strongly advise you to talk to someone who can be an objective party - a Minister, Priest, student counselor at NKU, a therapist, etc. Not family, not a friend and not ~just~ your wx friends here. But someone who can remain an impartial listener and advise you. I think you need to vent about this and past relationships, really get a handle on them so you can move on. Just my 2 cents.
Of course, vent away here but I would highly suggest talking to someone who's experienced with situations like this. To help you.
My best to you.
Mary
I'm trying not to think about this right now but it's pretty darn hard to not do so. SHE'S the one that has put me into this depression with everything she's said! My God, when is this crap going to end so I can have some sort of my old self back????
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Truly once you stop looking for it - it will come. Feel sorry for her instead of depressed - she is the one losing out here - not you. You are worth waiting for the right one to come along. Be mad that she doesn't recognize a good man when she sees one. Be glad you found out now - think of all the years of abuse by her she could have given you if you hadn't discovered it now rather than later. And there is nothing like trying to love someone that can't love you back - and they can't love you back because they don't know how to love themselves. What she said to you was a hint of what would have come if you had stayed together. I would be shouting to the hills Thank goodness!!!!! What real heartache you could have gone through if you hadn't seen her true colors! You are still young - I didn't find the right one until I was 35! ( after many relationships that exposed themselves for what they were) And boy is he ever the perfect one for me. Time is on your side, Jeremy - don't be in a rush to find love now.
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therock1811 wrote:Miss Mary wrote:I'm with Helen - that was a very cruel thing Liz said. Very. She has problems Jeremy and they are not yours. Let her go and break off all contact with her. Hang up if she calls you, each and every time.
That said, I strongly advise you to talk to someone who can be an objective party - a Minister, Priest, student counselor at NKU, a therapist, etc. Not family, not a friend and not ~just~ your wx friends here. But someone who can remain an impartial listener and advise you. I think you need to vent about this and past relationships, really get a handle on them so you can move on. Just my 2 cents.
Of course, vent away here but I would highly suggest talking to someone who's experienced with situations like this. To help you.
My best to you.
Mary
I'm trying not to think about this right now but it's pretty darn hard to not do so. SHE'S the one that has put me into this depression with everything she's said! My God, when is this crap going to end so I can have some sort of my old self back????
Liz is not the cause for your depression. The situation with her is magnifying your depression. You talked about your depression last night in chat. And you also said that you basically told her to do the same thing first. Like MissMary said you should talk to a professional who knows how to help you with your depression.
Also, don't be so quick to tell people everything about yourself. That aura of mystery keeps 'em guessing and coming back for more.

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I would just take it slow and get with friends and try to focus on something else for a bit. She may have done you the biggest favor she could. It hurts so much worse the longer into the relationship you go. Friends are great at times like this. Summer is coming, get out there and enjoy and remember, you lived before you met her. Life is a learning experience. Life goes on, things will get better and you will be a better person for all this. These are times for friends. I have been there. Get on that bike again and get peddling. By that term I mean, get on with your life and start looking again. I have had to do that too. My only two children died ten months apart from each other. This is when friends really come in handy. I got on my bike (went out the front door) and peddled (started living again). It all worked out great. Hope things work out for you too. You are so young and the whole world is out there for you. Get on that net again, take your time and meet someone nice with interests the same as you. The net dating is the thing of the present and future. Just don't be in any rush. Good things come to those who wait a bit.
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- therock1811
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CajunMama wrote:therock1811 wrote:Miss Mary wrote:I'm with Helen - that was a very cruel thing Liz said. Very. She has problems Jeremy and they are not yours. Let her go and break off all contact with her. Hang up if she calls you, each and every time.
That said, I strongly advise you to talk to someone who can be an objective party - a Minister, Priest, student counselor at NKU, a therapist, etc. Not family, not a friend and not ~just~ your wx friends here. But someone who can remain an impartial listener and advise you. I think you need to vent about this and past relationships, really get a handle on them so you can move on. Just my 2 cents.
Of course, vent away here but I would highly suggest talking to someone who's experienced with situations like this. To help you.
My best to you.
Mary
I'm trying not to think about this right now but it's pretty darn hard to not do so. SHE'S the one that has put me into this depression with everything she's said! My God, when is this crap going to end so I can have some sort of my old self back????
Liz is not the cause for your depression. The situation with her is magnifying your depression. You talked about your depression last night in chat. And you also said that you basically told her to do the same thing first. Like MissMary said you should talk to a professional who knows how to help you with your depression.
Also, don't be so quick to tell people everything about yourself. That aura of mystery keeps 'em guessing and coming back for more.
Yeah. But, the entire mess has pushed me into a deeper depression than I ever remember being in.
And BTW she wants me to be friends with her again. To be honest though, I doubt that will happen. I am about to tell her that if it doesn't happen, I don't want there to be any hard feelings about it.
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HurryKane wrote:You need to take a good long break from her--no contact--before you offer any chance of friendship again, particularly since she was so vicious with you.
I totally agree, except that I would add that someone that would say such things to you is not deserving of your friendship. I would just stick with no contact - period. Life can be complicated enough without voluntarily adding negative, hurtful people; I have had "friends" like that before.
Kim
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- therock1811
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Well we have begun talking again against my better judgement. She says that the things said to me were all said out of emotion. And I said some stuff to her too, also out of pure anger. Not saying it's ever going to be what it was, but we're going to try this friendship thing. Now, as far as online dating, NEVER AGAIN!
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therock1811 wrote:Well we have begun talking again against my better judgement. She says that the things said to me were all said out of emotion. And I said some stuff to her too, also out of pure anger. Not saying it's ever going to be what it was, but we're going to try this friendship thing. Now, as far as online dating, NEVER AGAIN!
Um, I think your setting yourself for failure again,..
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