TWW'S CRAZY NEWS STORIES

[AussieMark]

Well, at Least He Won't Be Fathering More Fans...

LONDON (Reuters) - A Welsh rugby fan cut off his own testicles to celebrate Wales beating England at rugby, the Daily Mirror reported Tuesday.

Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would win Saturday's match he told fellow drinkers at a social club, "If Wales win I'll cut my balls off," the paper said.

Friends at the club in Caerphilly, south Wales, thought he was joking.

But after the game Huish went home, severed his testicles with a knife, and walked 200 yards back to the bar with the testicles to show the shocked drinkers what he had done.

Huish was taken to hospital where he remained in serious condition, the paper said.

Wales's 11-9 victory over England at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff was their first home win over England in 12 years.

[AussieMark]

Pilot Used Helicopter to Deliver Pizza

LONDON (Reuters) - A British army pilot has been disciplined by senior officers for using a tank-busting helicopter to deliver a pizza to his girlfriend.

The pilot, based with Britain's 659 Army Air Corps squadron in Suffolk, eastern England, was on a map-reading training drill when he dropped off the pizza to his girlfriend who was taking part in an exercise 30 miles away.

The 25-year-old lieutenant had picked up the takeaway before setting out on the sortie in his Lynx helicopter, the Sun newspaper reported on Tuesday. He was reprimanded but did not have his pilot's license taken away, the paper added.

"The opportunity to add a light-hearted element to the planned sortie was taken but with no detriment to the sortie objective," a UK defense ministry spokeswoman told Reuters.

"The chain of command do not condone these actions and have disciplined the individuals concerned."

[AussieMark]

Slang Symbol of New Diversity

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - Fancy some Jesus and his brothers, or a ride in a g-string? And why is it that abantu abu baie bane kwal'nge-cherry?

This is South Africa's latest street slang -- a mix of the 11 official languages with nicknames thrown in for beer, cars, weapons and sexual positions that has grown out of the country's sprawling townships.

Hailed by its fans as a symbol of the country's diversity 11 years after the end of apartheid, "scamto" has become the language of choice for South Africa's black urban youth and its first exhaustive guide is due out next month.

"It's real, it's raw, and it captures the diversity and confidence of the new South Africa," said 24-year-old advertising executive Lebo Motshegoa from Soweto, the author of "Township Talk: The People, the Language, the Culture."

The unofficial street language first emerged under apartheid in the 1950s as speakers of different African languages were shoved into townships and forced to communicate as the white regime sought to purge the cities of blacks.

Scamto took off in the 1990s with the explosion of kwaito -- the townships' homegrown brand of hip-hop -- which uses the street slang extensively, Motshegoa told Reuters.

As well as mixing existing languages, scamto has invented quirky labels for popular brands, and words that capture the vibe of township life and black urban culture.

Jesus and his brothers means J&B whisky, while riding a g-string means driving a BMW. Black Label beer became tomato and then Red Bull -- nothing to do with the energy drink.

And 'why is it that abantu abu baie bane kwal'nge-cherry?' is what a young Sowetan might ask when he wants to know why his friends envy him for his girlfriend.

Critics note that the language is spoken only by blacks and argue that talk of diversity in South Africa is largely meaningless given that almost all of the massive chunk of the population still living on under a dollar a day are black.

But Motshegoa says township talk, which is increasingly being used in advertising, gives the black urban youth a voice and reflects a desire to move beyond old divisions.

"It's about spicing up language to reflect people's lives, and it's about one beautiful language and one beautiful people."

[AussieMark]

I Come from Planet Tiffany....

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Some planets in our galaxy could harbor an unexpected treasure: a thick layer of diamonds hiding under the surface, astronomers reported on Monday.

No diamond planet exists in our solar system, but some planets orbiting other stars in the Milky Way might have enough carbon to produce a diamond layer, Princeton University astronomer Marc Kuchner said in a telephone news conference.

That kind of planet would have to develop differently from Earth, Mars and Venus, so-called silicate planets made up mostly of silicon-oxygen compounds.

Carbon planets might form more like some meteorites than like Earth, which is believed to have condensed from a disk of gas orbiting the sun.

In gas with extra carbon or too little oxygen, carbon compounds like carbides and graphite could form instead of silicates, Kuchner said at a conference on extrasolar planets in Aspen, Colorado.

Any condensed graphite would change into diamond under the high pressures inside carbon planets, potentially forming diamond layers inside the planets many miles thick.

Carbon planets would be made mostly of carbides, although they might have iron cores and atmospheres. Carbides are a kind of ceramic used to line the cylinders of motorcycle engines among other things, Kuchner said.

Planets orbiting the pulsar PSR 1257+12 may be carbon planets, possibly forming from the disruption of a star that produced carbon as it aged, he said.

Other good candidates for carbon planets might be those located near the galaxy's center, where stars have more carbon than the sun. In fact, the galaxy as a whole is becoming richer in carbon as it gets older, raising the possibility all planets in the future may be carbon planets, Kuchner said.

[AussieMark]

West Hollywood May Ban Cosmetic Surgery for Pets

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - All dogs go to heaven. And the ones from West Hollywood may now get there with their ears and tails intact.

The mayor of West Hollywood -- a liberal, pet-embracing city adjacent to Los Angeles that two years ago brought America a ban on the declawing of cats -- has proposed a new ordinance making "tail-docking" and "ear-cropping" illegal.

The new law, which was scheduled for debate before the West Hollywood City Council on Monday, would also ban other nontherapeutic or cosmetic surgeries on animals.

"By docking the tails of dogs or cropping their ears, animals are subjected to painful and unnecessary procedures and somebody has to stand up to this cruelty," West Hollywood Mayor John Duran said in a written statement.

"I believe the anti-declawing ordinance was the first step in addressing human cruelty to animals but we have to do more and this proposed ordinance is the next step," he said. "West Hollywood has never hesitated to take necessary actions to stop cruelty to animals."

Tail-docking and ear-cropping are prohibited by law in some European countries.

[AussieMark]

Cuba, Land of Long Cigars, Bans Smoking in Public

HAVANA (Reuters) - Cuba, which evokes images of cigar-chomping revolutionaries, banned smoking in public places on Monday, an uphill struggle in a country synonymous with fine tobacco where more than half of adults smoke.

Cubans are no longer allowed to smoke in air-conditioned areas, offices, schools and sports centers in an island-wide health drive by President Fidel Castro's government.

Castro, once a famous aficionado of Cohiba cigars, gave up smoking two decades ago to safeguard his health.

But many Cubans continue to be heavy smokers and it is common to find people smoking in hospitals, elevators and even crowded buses, despite previous attempts to curb the habit.

Cigarette vending machines have been banned outright as part of the drive. State-run bars and restaurants must set up separate smoking areas, although few have done so yet.

Private restaurants known as "paladars," fed up with fines by roving inspectors, were quick to clamp down on patrons.

At Havana's landmark Nacional Hotel, ashtrays have been removed from the lobby and guests are being told to visit the veranda if they want to enjoy a cigar with their mojito cocktail.

Smoking at the city's international airport is a thing of the past, though the national carrier Cubana will continue to let passengers smoke on some of its flights, the airline said.

At the How Yueng restaurant in central Havana, where the only Chinese dish is fried rice, no-smoking signs have been up for five years, but that did not deter customers from smoking.

"We turned a blind eye. Now we will be stricter," said waitress Yaily.

A freshly painted "Do Not Smoke" sign was stuck to the mirror of Gerardo's barber shop in Old Havana, and patrons were stepping out for a quick smoke.

"People smoked in here before, despite my complaints," said Gerardo, cropping a customer's hair. "Now they will have to go outside. Its clear now. It's the law," he said.

"It's all right," said Jorge, a pack-a-day truck driver, as he waited for his turn out on the sidewalk, puffing on a powerful Popular, Cuba's non-filtered dark tobacco cigarette. "There is air conditioning inside and that bothers people who do not smoke."

HABIT HARD TO KICK

The smoking decree published a month ago also banned the sale of cigarettes to minors and at any kiosk within 100 meters (109 yards) of schools.

At the Calixto Garcia Hospital in Havana, however, Cubans were puffing as usual in the cafe where cigarettes were still on sale.

More than half of Cuban adults smoke and lung cancer is a major cause of death in the island nation of 11 million.

Many Cubans are skeptical that the new regulations will stick in a country where smoking is so ingrained that the Communist state still hands out subsidized cigarettes with ration books to Cubans over the age of 50.

The Western world's five-century-long addiction to nicotine began in Cuba, where Christopher Columbus came across the tobacco leaf on his first voyage to the Americas in 1492. Crew members met natives smoking aromatic leaves in small lighted bundles.

While cigar manufacturers fled Cuba when it moved to communist rule under Castro, the island is still renowned for some of the finest smokes in the world.

Younger Cubans, who generally smoke less than previous generations, welcomed the smoking curbs.

"I am all for it. I don't smoke and I don't see why other people's smoke should harm my health," said Saidinys Barrera, an art history student.

[AussieMark]

Man Charged in 'Female Athlete' Scam

HARARE (Reuters) - Zimbabwe police have charged a man with masquerading as a female athlete after he competed as a woman at several international sports events, the official Herald newspaper reported Wednesday.

The paper said the man, a triple jumper and runner who also competed at javelin and shot put, faced charges of impersonation and offending the dignity of a woman athlete who undressed in his presence not realizing he was a man.

The Herald said he won a gold medal at a regional tournament in Botswana last June and won five medals at a youth championship in Mauritius.

The man told the court at his first appearance that he had been born with both female and male organs, and that he lived as a woman after consulting a traditional healer. But the Herald said a medical examination had shown he was male.

[AussieMark]

Boy Takes Underage Driving to New Extreme

DETROIT (Reuters) - A 4-year-old Michigan boy took underage driving to new extremes by slipping behind the wheel of his mother's car for an overnight visit to the local video store.

Nile Hayden, mayor of the small town of Sand Lake in the southwest corner of the state, said the boy's joy ride, which ended with more than one fender bender, occurred about 1:30 a.m. last Friday.

He drove about a quarter mile from his home to the video store without incident, Hayden told Reuters.

The store was closed. On the boy's return home, he hit two parked vehicles before backing up into a police cruiser, Hayden said.

"Once the officers got him out of the car and sat him on the hood of our car, he started crying and saying: 'I want to go into the house. I want to go back to bed,'" Hayden said.

Hayden said the boy was unaware of the seriousness of what he had done. "How many 4-year-olds get up and wander around the house or go out (at night)?" he added, saying no charges were being filed in the case.

"What he was doing was jump down, hit the accelerator, and get back up so he could see where he was going," Hayden said, explaining how someone who was too short to reach the floor pedals was able to drive a car.

"It looked like a drunk passing in and out."

[TexasStooge]

Cuba, Land of Long Cigars, Bans Smoking in Public

HAVANA (Reuters) - Cuba, which evokes images of cigar-chomping revolutionaries, banned smoking in public places on Monday, an uphill struggle in a country synonymous with fine tobacco where more than half of adults smoke.

Cubans are no longer allowed to smoke in air-conditioned areas, offices, schools and sports centers in an island-wide health drive by President Fidel Castro's government.

Castro, once a famous aficionado of Cohiba cigars, gave up smoking two decades ago to safeguard his health.

But many Cubans continue to be heavy smokers and it is common to find people smoking in hospitals, elevators and even crowded buses, despite previous attempts to curb the habit.

Cigarette vending machines have been banned outright as part of the drive. State-run bars and restaurants must set up separate smoking areas, although few have done so yet.

Private restaurants known as "paladars," fed up with fines by roving inspectors, were quick to clamp down on patrons.

At Havana's landmark Nacional Hotel, ashtrays have been removed from the lobby and guests are being told to visit the veranda if they want to enjoy a cigar with their mojito cocktail.

Smoking at the city's international airport is a thing of the past, though the national carrier Cubana will continue to let passengers smoke on some of its flights, the airline said.

At the How Yueng restaurant in central Havana, where the only Chinese dish is fried rice, no-smoking signs have been up for five years, but that did not deter customers from smoking.

"We turned a blind eye. Now we will be stricter," said waitress Yaily.

A freshly painted "Do Not Smoke" sign was stuck to the mirror of Gerardo's barber shop in Old Havana, and patrons were stepping out for a quick smoke.

"People smoked in here before, despite my complaints," said Gerardo, cropping a customer's hair. "Now they will have to go outside. Its clear now. It's the law," he said.

"It's all right," said Jorge, a pack-a-day truck driver, as he waited for his turn out on the sidewalk, puffing on a powerful Popular, Cuba's non-filtered dark tobacco cigarette. "There is air conditioning inside and that bothers people who do not smoke."

HABIT HARD TO KICK

The smoking decree published a month ago also banned the sale of cigarettes to minors and at any kiosk within 100 meters (109 yards) of schools.

At the Calixto Garcia Hospital in Havana, however, Cubans were puffing as usual in the cafe where cigarettes were still on sale.

More than half of Cuban adults smoke and lung cancer is a major cause of death in the island nation of 11 million.

Many Cubans are skeptical that the new regulations will stick in a country where smoking is so ingrained that the Communist state still hands out subsidized cigarettes with ration books to Cubans over the age of 50.

The Western world's five-century-long addiction to nicotine began in Cuba, where Christopher Columbus came across the tobacco leaf on his first voyage to the Americas in 1492. Crew members met natives smoking aromatic leaves in small lighted bundles.

While cigar manufacturers fled Cuba when it moved to communist rule under Castro, the island is still renowned for some of the finest smokes in the world.

Younger Cubans, who generally smoke less than previous generations, welcomed the smoking curbs.

"I am all for it. I don't smoke and I don't see why other people's smoke should harm my health," said Saidinys Barrera, an art history student.

The City of Dallas did the same thing in restauraunts, bowling places, etc.

[AussieMark]

Drug Gangs Force Indians to Drop Tradition

MONTERREY, Mexico (Reuters) - Mexican drug gangs are forcing Indian tribes to abandon their traditional crops and grow marijuana and heroin poppies, according to a study released on Tuesday.

The report by Mexico's National Anthropology and History Institute said armed drug gangs were driving communities of Tarahumara, Guarijio and Pima Indians to give up their age-old way of life in the mountains of Sonora and Chihuahua states.

More than 50,000 members of the tribes have lived in caves and log cabins in remote canyons in the Western Sierra Madre mountain range in the area for millennia, surviving on subsistence corn crops.

They mix Roman Catholic rites with traditional beliefs in sun and moon deities, and chew hallucinogenic peyote buttons to perform an ancient dance to cure the sick.

Researchers said drug gangs from neighboring Sinaloa state are entering the remote region and forcing the native villagers to stop growing traditional corn in favor of marijuana and heroin poppies.

"These three groups have been forced to abandon their traditional crops by the drug traffickers, and it is having a great impact on their way of life," anthropologist Alejandro Aguilar told Reuters in a telephone interview from Sonora.

"While some elders are trying to conserve traditional festivals linked to the maize harvest, the arrival of these groups from Sinaloa brings ... western clothes, cassette recorders, pistols and the consumption of alcohol," he added.

Aguilar said that the drug gangs had also intimidated some Indian communities into dropping traditional Holy Week Catholic Church rites to worship Jesus Malverde, the patron saint of the drug runners.

"The elements from Sinaloa are ... asking them to venerate the image of Malverde, the patron saint of the narcos, who is not recognized by the Church," Aguilar said.

Sinaloa is the cradle of the Mexican drug trade, where Chinese migrants first came in the 19th century to grow heroin poppies to make opiate-based pain killers for sale in the United States.

Since then, local drug gangs have continued to cultivate heroin and marijuana crops to smuggle north over the border and have transported tons of contraband cocaine for Colombia cartels.

[AussieMark]

Cuba, Land of Long Cigars, Bans Smoking in Public

HAVANA (Reuters) - Cuba, which evokes images of cigar-chomping revolutionaries, banned smoking in public places on Monday, an uphill struggle in a country synonymous with fine tobacco where more than half of adults smoke.

Cubans are no longer allowed to smoke in air-conditioned areas, offices, schools and sports centers in an island-wide health drive by President Fidel Castro's government.

Castro, once a famous aficionado of Cohiba cigars, gave up smoking two decades ago to safeguard his health.

But many Cubans continue to be heavy smokers and it is common to find people smoking in hospitals, elevators and even crowded buses, despite previous attempts to curb the habit.

Cigarette vending machines have been banned outright as part of the drive. State-run bars and restaurants must set up separate smoking areas, although few have done so yet.

Private restaurants known as "paladars," fed up with fines by roving inspectors, were quick to clamp down on patrons.

At Havana's landmark Nacional Hotel, ashtrays have been removed from the lobby and guests are being told to visit the veranda if they want to enjoy a cigar with their mojito cocktail.

Smoking at the city's international airport is a thing of the past, though the national carrier Cubana will continue to let passengers smoke on some of its flights, the airline said.

At the How Yueng restaurant in central Havana, where the only Chinese dish is fried rice, no-smoking signs have been up for five years, but that did not deter customers from smoking.

"We turned a blind eye. Now we will be stricter," said waitress Yaily.

A freshly painted "Do Not Smoke" sign was stuck to the mirror of Gerardo's barber shop in Old Havana, and patrons were stepping out for a quick smoke.

"People smoked in here before, despite my complaints," said Gerardo, cropping a customer's hair. "Now they will have to go outside. Its clear now. It's the law," he said.

"It's all right," said Jorge, a pack-a-day truck driver, as he waited for his turn out on the sidewalk, puffing on a powerful Popular, Cuba's non-filtered dark tobacco cigarette. "There is air conditioning inside and that bothers people who do not smoke."

HABIT HARD TO KICK

The smoking decree published a month ago also banned the sale of cigarettes to minors and at any kiosk within 100 meters (109 yards) of schools.

At the Calixto Garcia Hospital in Havana, however, Cubans were puffing as usual in the cafe where cigarettes were still on sale.

More than half of Cuban adults smoke and lung cancer is a major cause of death in the island nation of 11 million.

Many Cubans are skeptical that the new regulations will stick in a country where smoking is so ingrained that the Communist state still hands out subsidized cigarettes with ration books to Cubans over the age of 50.

The Western world's five-century-long addiction to nicotine began in Cuba, where Christopher Columbus came across the tobacco leaf on his first voyage to the Americas in 1492. Crew members met natives smoking aromatic leaves in small lighted bundles.

While cigar manufacturers fled Cuba when it moved to communist rule under Castro, the island is still renowned for some of the finest smokes in the world.

Younger Cubans, who generally smoke less than previous generations, welcomed the smoking curbs.

"I am all for it. I don't smoke and I don't see why other people's smoke should harm my health," said Saidinys Barrera, an art history student.

The City of Dallas did the same thing in restauraunts, bowling places, etc.

here in NSW (my state in Australia)

SMoking bans are in place in pubs and clubs, restaurants,etc etc etc even some of Sydneys beaches are starting to have smoking bans

[AussieMark]

Lawsuit Over Elizabeth Taylor's Van Gogh Dismissed

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A federal judge has thrown out a lawsuit against Elizabeth Taylor by the heirs of a German woman who claimed to be the rightful owners of a Van Gogh painting in the actress's collection.

Taylor bought the 1889 painting "View of the Asylum and Chapel at Saint-Remy" at a Sotheby's auction in London in 1963 for $257,000 and keeps it in her Los Angeles area home. It is now valued at millions of dollars.

The South African and Canadian descendants of Margarete Mauthner, a Jewish woman who fled Germany in the 1930s, sued Taylor last October, claiming that that the work had been confiscated from her by the Nazis and should be returned to them under the 1998 U.S. Holocaust Victims Redress Act.

Taylor counter-sued, claiming to be the rightful owner of the painting and asserting that it had passed through two galleries and a another collector -- himself a German Jew who fled the Nazis in 1933 -- before she bought it.

In a written order issued on Feb. 2 and made public on Tuesday, U.S. District Judge Gary Klausner ruled that state law gives plaintiffs only three years to sue after property is taken.

[AussieMark]

Baby Said to Be Smallest to Survive Goes Home

CHICAGO (Reuters) - A baby who may be the smallest child ever to survive has been discharged from a hospital more than four months after she entered the world weighing about as much as a cell phone.

Loyola University Medical Center said Rumaisa Rahman was discharged on Tuesday weighing 5 pounds, 8 ounces (2,520 grams), a far cry from her 8.6-ounce (260-gram) weight at birth on Sept. 19, 2004.

The hospital said she is "the smallest surviving baby in the world known in medical literature." She joins her fraternal twin sister Hiba who was also born on the same day in a Caesarian procedure and who weighed 1 pound, 4 ounces (566 grams) at birth. She was discharged a month ago and now weighs 8 pounds, 8 ounces (3,700 grams).

Doctors said her prognosis was very good and expected that she would have normal physical and mental development.

The babies were born to an Illinois couple originally from Hyderabad, India. They are the couple's first children, the hospital said. Rumaisa means "white as milk" in their native tongue while Hiba means "gift from God."

[AussieMark]

Once Upon a Time...that'll Be Seven Dollars, Please

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - Dutch children can dial phone lines to listen to recordings of fairytales like Little Red Riding Hood, but busy parents must be willing to pay about $7 a call, enough to buy the printed version of the classic tales.

"Sprookiebel" -- "dial-a-fairytale" in English -- says it is the first fairytale phone service in The Netherlands and has already had some 600 calls from children since its launch at the start of the month.

Callers can choose from a selection of four fairytales, which are changed regularly, and listen to them 24 hours a day for 0.55 euro ($0.70) per minute.

Though some of its offerings were penned 186 years ago, the moral messages the 10-minute tales contain continue to make them relevant today, says Sprookiebel.

[AussieMark]

Man Keeps Crocodile, Python in Bedroom Zoo

SYDNEY (Reuters) - A mini zoo housing a giant Burmese python, two iguanas and a freshwater crocodile was discovered in an apartment in Sydney after police were called to settle a domestic dispute.

John Cavaleri, who kept the animals in his bedroom, was fined A$1,000 ($769) by a local court on Tuesday for illegally possessing the exotic and protected animals, a court official said on Thursday.

Behind glass tanks in Cavaleri's bedroom in the Bondi Beach apartment lived a 100-kg (220-pound) python, two adult green iguanas and a freshwater baby crocodile, the court was told.

The exotic animals were taken to Sydney's Taronga Zoo, but Cavaleri was allowed to keep his pet monkey and several cats.

[AussieMark]

Bail $50,000 for Alleged Kournikova Stalker

HAVANA (Reuters) - Cuba's "120 Years Club," inspired by President Fidel Castro to help Cubans live to a ripe old age, on Wednesday claimed one of its members as the world's oldest man at 119.

Benito Martinez Abagan actually says he was born in Haiti in 1880 and came to Cuba in 1925 to work in the sugar cane fields and build roads. But both his memory and identity document, which shows him to be 123, are questionable, say officials.

Dr. Eugenio Selman-Housein, Castro's personal physician and president of the "120 Years Club," said experts are working to determine the man's exact age.

"We are sure he is at least 119, or a bit less. That still makes him the world's oldest living man at present," Selman said.

According to authenticated records the world's oldest living man is a 113-year-old Puerto Rican.

A dozen Cubans over the age of 100 attended Wednesday's first meeting of the club, which aims to extend longevity in Cuba through healthier diets, moderate exercise and plenty of motivation.

Cuba has a life expectancy of 77 years, the highest among developing nations and 24th in the world. That is five years shorter than Japan, where people live longest, on average to 82.

Cuba's Communist government points to its free public health system as the main reason Cubans live longer, and the target is to raise life expectancy to 80.

Castro, 78 and the world's longest-serving political leader, encouraged Selman to start the "120 Years Club" and the membership is growing, the doctor said.

"Cuba is the only country that has all the conditions people need to live to 120 years," he said. Stem cell research under way in Cuba could extend that limit, he added.

Club geriatrics expert Enrique Vega said a good genetic mix and Cubans' cheerful outlook contributed to their longevity. But Cubans still smoke excessively, exercise too little and hardly eat vegetables and fish, so there is room for improvement, he said.

For 103-year-old Agustin Gutierrez, the secret to a long life is a productive and sexually active life. "The more I worked the stronger I got, and there were many women," he said.

[AussieMark]

Jennifer Lopez Show Biggest New York Fashion Buzz

NEW YORK (Reuters) - She's already a pop diva, a major movie star and gossip column favorite -- now Jennifer Lopez is set to make her debut as a fashion designer, in the most sought after show at New York's fashion week.

Lopez unveils a collection of clothes Friday evening in a show that's been the hardest invitation to nab and is sure to draw the largest crowd of celebrities, paparazzi and press.

And while her credentials may fall short of Oscar de la Renta or Ralph Lauren, experts say don't rule her out.

"We as consumers tip our hats to celebrities and say, 'You live the life we aspire to, so tell us how to dress,'" said Wendy Liebmann, head of WSL Strategic Retail consultants.

While stars have long put their names behind consumer products -- Frank Sinatra had a line of neckties -- the trend took off with Martha Stewart who built an empire from her domestic talents and P. Diddy who moved from his hip hop roots to build his popular "Sean John" clothing brand.

"A big huge celebrity has got enormous equity value," said Robert Thompson, a Syracuse University pop culture professor.

No one should be surprised a celebrity would hold a runway show at fashion week, a venue typically reserved for top designers, said Simon Doonan, creative director at top New York fashion retailer Barney's.

BRAIN SURGERY?

"We've only ourselves to blame because we've given celebrities these deranged feelings of omnipotence," he said. "She'll be doing brain surgery next."

And it's one more nail in the coffin of what Fashion Week in New York once was, he added.

"Every fashion show is like some gigantic mind-blowing movie premiere. The original sense that it's a trade show has evaporated completely," Doonan said.

Lopez' entree into fashion seems jarring, said Paco Underhill, author of "Why We Buy."

"I would correlate J Lo's move to the runway with Sharon Stone's move to Davos," he said, referring to the actress' appearance at the World Economic Forum. "What in God's name are Sharon Stone's credentials to go talk at an economic forum?"

At least Lopez is a trendsetter, said Thompson. "As big a star as Tom Hanks is, I'm not sure that I would buy an after-shave called Tom," he said.

Lopez told Women's Wear Daily that her show will feature a more upscale look with higher prices and more limited distribution than her existing JLo line, which sells inexpensive, casual daywear and lingerie.

Her designer collection features velvet jackets, cashmere sweaters and fox furs, the trade daily reported.

Lopez told WWD that while she's not a designer, "I do have a certain style and a certain image that people respond to."

The show will be split into three parts to represent stages of Lopez's life -- one to mark her beginnings in the Bronx, one to reflect her musical career and then a glamorous finale.

"I don't care about critics," she said. "Consumers will decide if they like it and if they want to buy it or not."

If she follows "Sean John," showing flashy clothes but selling streetwear, she's likely to make it, said Doonan.

"He'll do a very fancy fashion show with fur coats and all this dandified Cotton Club look, but the reality is he's making all his money on sweatshirts," Doonan said of Diddy, one of the few other celebrities to stage a major New York fashion show.

Fashion analyst Irma Zandl said Lopez may be in better touch with customers than many haute couture designers.

"By focusing ... so exclusively on small sizes and super trendy styles, the fashion industry is ever so close to becoming at best, a spectator sport, at worst, totally irrelevant," she said.

[AussieMark]

Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

LONDON (Reuters) - A British woman was sentenced to two and a half years in jail Thursday for ripping off her ex-lover's testicle with her bare hands during a drunken brawl after he refused her sex.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage in May last year after Geoffrey Jones, 37, who had ended their long-term relationship, rejected her advances.

She grabbed him by the genitals, tearing off his left testicle, then hid it in her mouth before a friend of Jones handed it back to him saying "that's yours."

Monti, of Birkenhead, near Liverpool, pleaded guilty to unlawful wounding at an earlier hearing.

[AussieMark]

Date from Hell: Rescue!

CANBERRA (Reuters) - It's every single person's nightmare: You're on a date, it's a disaster but there's no way out.

With Valentine's Day looming, a mobile phone company in Australia has come to the rescue with a service offering an escape from the date from hell.

All you have to do is discreetly dial three numbers and then hang up without saying a word.

"Virgin Mobile will call them back a minute later with a perfect excuse to get them out of there. We'll even talk them through what to say," the company, a joint venture of the Virgin Group and Optus, said in a statement.

A survey of 402 people by Virgin Mobile found that 53 percent arrange in advance to have a friend call them mid-date to check they are all right or if they need an excuse to get out.

The results showed women were twice as likely as men to use the tactic.

[AussieMark]

Woman Denies Sherry Enema Charge

HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas woman indicted last month for allegedly giving her husband a lethal sherry enema said he was an enema addict who did it to himself, a newspaper reported Thursday.

Tammy Jean Warner said late husband Michael Warner had an alcohol problem and enjoyed giving himself wine or sherry enemas because his body would absorb the spirits more quickly that way.

"That's the way he went out and I'm sure that's the way he wanted to go out because he loved his enemas," she told the Houston Chronicle.

Michael Warner, 58, died on May 21 and was found to have a blood alcohol level of 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered too drunk to drive in Texas.

Mrs. Warner, 42, is accused of giving her husband a sherry enema even though she knew alcohol was bad for this health and faces a charge of criminally negligent homicide.

"There's no way I could have gave my husband that enema, no way," she said.

Police in Lake Jackson, Texas, 40 miles south of Houston, said there was evidence that Mr. Warner had received two large bottles of sherry.

"It all started back when he was a child," Mrs. Warner explained. "His mother used to give him enemas all the time, and he started to depend on them."

"He did coffee enemas, he did Castile soap, Ivory soap," she said. "He had enema recipes."

Mrs. Warner, a former bartender who got married to Warner in October 2002, is also charged with destroying his will, but she denied the charge, the Chronicle said.

Currently free on $30,000 bail, she is scheduled to go to trial in July. If convicted, she faces up to two years in prison and a $10,000 fine on each charge.