TWW'S CRAZY NEWS STORIES

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Royal Mail Sticks It to Australia Rugby Fans

LONDON (Reuters) - Fans of England's World Cup winning rugby team can now lick the Australians again and again with every letter they send Down Under.
Britain's Royal Mail Friday issued a set of commemorative 68 pence stamps that feature scenes of England's nail-biting 20-17 victory over their historic rivals in Sydney on November 22.

"In case you hadn't realized, the 68p stamps are just the right value to send to any friend you might have in Australia," Royal Mail said in a statement, stoking the friendly rivalry between the sides.

Fly-half Jonny Wilkinson's extra time kick clinched the win for England, considered the country's greatest sporting victory since its football team triumphed at the 1966 World Cup.

The loss was also a rare humiliation for Australia, who have made it a tradition to pound England at a number of sports, including rugby and cricket.

The stamps will also be issued in a 28p denomination, the price of a regular first class letter sent within the UK.

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Tooth Study Won't Prompt Smiles in Appalachia

ATLANTA (Reuters) - There was nothing for the older folk of Appalachia to smile about in the government's latest study of toothlessness among the elderly, which found the poverty-stricken region leading the nation in tooth-loss.
Kentucky and West Virginia have the highest percentage of older adults missing all their natural teeth according to data collected in 2002 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Slightly more than 42 percent of residents 65 and older in Kentucky could make that dubious claim last year. West Virginians were a close second with 41.9 percent of seniors admitting they had shed their natural choppers.

In both states, older adults who were naturally toothless outnumbered those who could say they had lost five or fewer of their natural teeth.

Although the study, released Thursday, did not focus on the root causes of toothlessness in the states, researchers said they suspected a combination of economic, cultural and medical factors were responsible for wide variances in state results.

"We would imagine it probably reflects the impact of health behaviors such as smoking and oral hygiene practices and also socio-economic status in terms of income and education," said Dr. Barbara Gooch, a CDC dental officer and the study's lead author.

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Paris Hilton Beats Bush in TV Ratings

NEW YORK (Reuters) - He may have beaten Saddam Hussein, but President Bush got clobbered by slinky socialite Paris Hilton when her television show got higher ratings than Bush's exclusive ABC interview Tuesday night.
More Americans watched Fox's "The Simple Life," which depicts the 22-year-old hotel heiress working on an Arkansas farm, than saw Bush being interviewed by Diane Sawyer, Nielsen Media Research said on Thursday.

"The Simple Life" may have been helped by the public saga of a video, making the rounds of the Internet, showing the granddaughter of hotel chain founder Conrad Hilton engaged in various sex acts with ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon.

"The Simple Life" drew 11.8 million viewers while Bush's ABC "Prime Time" interview drew 11 million, Nielsen said.

In the interview, the president made headlines by saying the recently captured ex-Iraqi leader should be executed -- the "ultimate penalty" -- for his iron-fisted rule in Iraq.

But Hilton won more viewers with her performance baking pies and working the town fair's kissing booth in a mini skirt.

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Fine Brings Niagara Falls Jumper Down to Earth

ST. CATHARINES, Ontario (Reuters) - An American who survived a plunge over Niagara Falls and went on to sign a lucrative deal as a circus stuntman, was fined C$3,000 ($2,256) on Thursday.

Kirk Jones, 41, whose $100,000 circus contract also stipulates he is entitled to an unlimited supply of shaved-ice snow cones, pleaded guilty in a Canadian court to mischief and to unlawfully performing a stunt.

"I understand what I did was wrong," Jones told reporters outside the courtroom. "You'll never see an action in Niagara waters with my name written on it again."

Jones said he was afraid of heights but that he had been seeking "a new challenge in his life" when he took the plunge over the falls in October.

The Michigan resident said he was physically ill as he approached the massive cataract on the day of his jump.

"The walk I walked from the parking lot across the street was one of the longest walks of my life," he told Reuters. "I really threaded the needle that day."

At the end of that Oct. 20 walk, Jones climbed over a wrought iron barrier and jumped into the swift-flowing water that tossed him over the brink of Niagara's biggest cataract, the Horseshoe Falls.

The Horseshoe Falls straddle the Canadian-U.S. border between Ontario and New York state.

In earlier days, daredevils braved the drop in barrels and on boards, but such stunts are now illegal.

Jones was the first person to survive the 150-foot fall without any sort of safety device. He wore just two jackets, a shirt, blue jeans and a pair of running shoes.

He suffered a few broken ribs, but the fall made him a celebrity, with several TV appearances and a possible book deal. He is also the headline act in a 120-city circus tour next year.

Philip Dolci, assistant manager of Toby Tyler Circus in Sarasota, Florida, said he hired a detective to locate Jones after hearing of the feat. Dolci said potential stunts being considered for Jones included being shot out of a cannon over the Rio Grande and Grand Canyon.

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Holiday Givers Turn to Star Calls, Moon Burials

NEW YORK (Reuters) - For those still searching for the perfect holiday gift, how's this for an out-of-this world idea: Space burials.

Celestis Inc, a Houston-based firm that in 1997 arranged the launch of 1960s pop icon Timothy Leary's remains, is planning an April send-off in Russia for as many as 150 ash-filled capsules as part of the cargo on a Kosmos 1 satellite.

The containers, filled with customers' choices of 1 or 7 grams of remains, will share space with data transmission equipment and will orbit the Earth for as long as 156 years before re-entering the atmosphere as a shooting star. Costs ranges from $995 to $5,300, depending on the capsule size.

Can't make the April launch? Reservations are being taken for later flights.

If that doesn't send your sweetie's heart racing, Celestis can arrange for a deep space radio message to be sent to a star you've previously named, for only $24.95.

"The cosmic call is very popular," said Celestis president and co-founder Chan Tysor. "We do 50 percent of our annual sales in December."

For $12,500, Celestis offers moon "burials," in which capsules are carried on lunar mission spacecraft. In 1998, the NASA Lunar Prospector transported a portion of the remains of scientist and comet discoverer Dr. Eugene Shoemaker in its strut, which disintegrated upon landing.

The packages are becoming more popular with those who are searching for a one-of-a-kind gift, for space enthusiasts or for those eager for an alternative to conventional Earth-bound interments.

"Think Dad would rather have a tie or be immortalized as a space pioneer?" The Celestis Web site asks gift givers at http://www.celestis.com/

Celestis plans to send its capsules on two or three satellites in 2004, up from one each in 1998 through 2001. The rockets, which have included Pegasus and Taurus, usually take off from Vandenberg Air Force Base in Santa Barbara, California, though they have also been sent from the Canary Islands and Russia.

ONE WAY TO GET TO HEAVEN

"Instantly, I knew this was it," said Susan Young, a mother of four whose husband Peter Smith died in a crash in his own plane eight years ago. "This puts him where he wanted to be -- it's the only choice that makes sense for him."
The family, who paid $995 for a "symbolic" one-gram capsule, plans to travel to Kazakhstan to see the April launch of the Dnepr rocket carrying Kosmos satellites from the Baikonur Cosmodrome, known for launching Sputnik 1, Earth's first man-made satellite.

Clients can have their capsules inscribed with the deceased's name and a personal message. Some have included "With our love, go in peace" and "One more big adventure."

Fay Chandler of Pasadena, California, is planning ahead for herself and her husband, Claude, who died of Alzheimer's disease complications 18 months ago. Claude had worked at California Institute of Technology's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, developing instruments for manned moon landings.

"We have to wait until I die and then we'll both go to the moon," she said. "I was comforted by this thought during the last terrible months of his illness."

The couple had hoped space technology would have allowed them to fly to the moon during their lifetime, but the capsule will have to do. Chandler said she will send a small portion of her husband's remains with a satellite launch in 2004, but the moon trip is the ultimate plan.

"My children laughed at me, but they weren't married to the love of their life for 51 years," she said.

There's still room on the Baikonur launch for those seeking last-minute gifts. Pet lovers need not apply, however.

"We do get the pet request, but we haven't done it yet," said Tysor. "It's a bit of a sensitive issue."

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Carry Your Own Bag, Says Caddie

RYE, Australia (Reuters) - Queenslander Marcus Cain missed the Australian Open cut by seven strokes on Friday after his caddie dropped the player's bag midway through the round and walked off.
"He had a disagreement with his caddie on the 12th hole," Australian PGA Tour operations manager Gus Seebeck told Reuters.

"His caddie resigned and handed back the bag and Cain was left to carry his own bag."

The 30-year-old from Brisbane was able to recruit a replacement caddie later in his round but finished with an eight-over-par 80 for a two-round total of 10-over-par 154.

Cain will be keen to forget his last three holes of the tournament at the challenging Moonah Links course, 60 miles south of Melbourne, where he took bogey, bogey then a double-bogey seven on the par-five 18th, which features 11 bunkers.

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A World Drinking Record

RIGA, Latvia (Reuters) - Latvian police said a drunk picked up with around twice the blood-alcohol level considered deadly had probably set a world record but would wake with a hangover to match.
The unidentified middle-aged man was unconscious but stable after a blood test showed 7.22 parts per million of alcohol, police spokeswoman Ieva Zvidre said.

An average person would vomit at around 1.2, lose consciousness at 3.0 and stop breathing at a level of about 4.0 parts per million, Zvidre said, adding: "This is one for the Guinness Book of Records."

The hospital's emergency ward head Martins Sics told reporters there was no record of anybody having survived such a dose, even in neighboring Russia which takes pride in its vodka-guzzling traditions.

"He won't remember a thing when he comes to," Sics said.

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Girl, 2, Survives for Days After Dad Dies

PHOENIX (Reuters) - A two-year-old girl survived on a diet of butter, mayonnaise and water for at least several days in her west Phoenix home as her father lay dead on the couch nearby, authorities say.
Police said Thursday they believed the girl was able to open the refrigerator and turn on a kitchen water faucet to sustain herself for the days she spent alone in the small residence.

She was found late on Wednesday by police officers and was reported to be in good condition at a crisis nursery at a local hospital.

"This is just an amazing story," said Detective Tony Morales. "She was dehydrated and a little undernourished but she came through it and should be fine."

Officers were called after an alert neighbor spotted water spilling from the home, knocked on the front door and heard cries when no one answered, Morales said. The daughter apparently was unable to turn off the water faucet.

Her 29-year-old father was found dead from what are believed to be natural causes. Authorities are trying to locate his family in El Salvador.

Morales said the tiny girl was crying and distraught when officers arrived, but was in reasonably good shape despite the heart-wrenching ordeal.

"It's just a wonderful situation that we were able to find the child in time. You don't want to think of what could have happened to her," he said.

Police said the mother is apparently a known drug addict who has no custodial rights to the child. Her whereabouts were not immediately known.

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Japan Banishes Economic Blues with Xmas Lights

TOKYO (Reuters) - There are no chestnuts roasting by open fires in Japan at Christmas and chimneys to hang stockings by are few and far between.

It isn't even a holiday in this non-Christian nation and schoolchildren, at least in Tokyo, will be trudging off to get their report cards.

But Christmas lights and decorations on private homes are going strong -- perhaps an effort to chase away the shadows of economic gloom that have hovered over the nation for a decade.

Twinkling lights on trees, lights in the shape of reindeer and blinking lights nestled in artificial pine boughs are gracing ordinary Japanese homes in growing numbers.

"Back during the economic boom years, people would go out to a hotel to celebrate and spend lots of money on Christmas," said Tomoki Sakaino, a manager at Internet research firm infoPLANT.

"But people celebrate at home now, and lights and decorations are cheap. It's a good way to have fun."

According to a survey conducted by infoPLANT in 2002, 47 percent of people planned to put up lights for Christmas, up from 43 percent the year before. Other informal surveys suggest the practice has become much more common in recent years. "Our sales have really shot up," said Wataru Matsuyama, who runs a home center specializing in Christmas lights in Yamanashi, some 70 miles west of Tokyo. "At least 20 percent higher than last year."

Unlike venerable Japanese traditions such as the tea ceremony, there is no prescribed way to put up Christmas lights, which is a big part of their appeal.

"You can really show your originality," said Sakaino.

Businesses are also finding that elaborate Christmas displays bring seasonal cheer, as people flock to admire -- and spend.

"A lot of chambers of commerce are getting into this, using lights to decorate their local shopping areas," said Matsuyama.

"It brings people in and makes things more lively."
Japan also has a few home-grown Christmas traditions.

It has long been seen as an occasion for couples rather than families, with romantic dinners for two -- preferably at a Western restaurant -- the celebration of choice, along with an exchange of gifts. Those sad young people without a partner sometimes gather for consolation parties.

Like most of Japan's other Christmas rituals, this takes place on Christmas Eve rather than the day itself.

Since turkey is hard to come by and won't fit into the tiny oven in most Japanese homes, Christmas Eve dinner often features chicken, roasted or fried.

Kentucky Fried Chicken does a booming business and many stores have sales four or five times higher than usual.

"Around 1971, managers noticed that foreigners who couldn't find turkey were coming in to buy chicken for their Christmas meal and they suggested we promote this," said a spokeswoman at Kentucky Fried Chicken Japan . "It's now the best season for us."

Meals end with Christmas cake, traditionally a concoction of white sponge cake, strawberries and sweet whipped cream.

It's useless after the 25th, which gave rise at one point to the saying that women "were like Christmas cake" -- they ought to be married by 25.

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French Health Watchdog Issues Oyster Shell Alert

PARIS (Reuters) - Anxious to show vigilance after being criticized in August for failing to warn the public of an impending heatwave, France's national health watchdog issued a stern warning on Tuesday about the dangers of opening oysters.
"Numerous severe accidental injuries take place during the opening of oysters, which are consumed in particularly large quantities during end-year festivities," the INVS watchdog said in a statement.

It said some 2,000 people cut themselves each year while trying to pry open oysters, 800 of them in December or January. Around 20 percent of such accidents require hospital treatment.

"One should, wherever possible, try to prevent such accidents happening, by taking simple precautions," the INVS said.

"Sit yourself down comfortably with an oyster knife and the appropriate know-how, and either use hand protection or get an oyster-seller to open them."

The French slurp down thousands of oysters, many of them farmed off the west coast, over the Christmas and New Year period.

French authorities have taken pains to give the public advance warning of the risks of floods and cold weather, as well as a flu epidemic, after failing to warn of the dangers of an August heatwave that killed 15,000 mainly elderly people.

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Korean POW Returns Home 50 Years After Korean War

SEOUL (Reuters) - A former prisoner of war in North Korea flew home to South Korea on Wednesday, 50 years after he was captured by communist forces in the Korean War.
Jeon Yong-il, 72, was taken prisoner in 1953, interned in North Korea and eventually escaped into China this year -- only to be caught and threatened with repatriation to the North.

"I served South Korea for the past fifty years and will not forget this return for the life of me," South Korea's Yonhap News agency quoted him as saying on arriving on a flight from China.

"I'll be living well back at home this late in my life, thanks to the South Korean government," Jeon said, referring to intensive diplomatic wrangling by Seoul officials.

The South Korea he left, overrun by invading North Korean troops in 1950, was a sleepy agricultural backwater barely recovered from 35 years of harsh Japanese colonial rule.

Now, hi-tech South Korea is the world's 12th largest economy.

Jeon said that, while in incarceration in China, he thought he would never live to see his homeland. He said he told Chinese authorities who questioned him that he had to go back home.

He was apprehended this year with a fake passport as he tried to fly to South Korea from China. He and a female companion had sneaked into China from North Korea in April or May this year.

Jeon joined the South Korean army in June 1951 and was caught by Chinese soldiers helping North Korean leader Kim Il-sung's troops during the 1950-53 conflict, according to South Korean diplomats in Beijing.

He had identified himself as a prisoner of war -- one of as many as 300 South Korea believes are still alive in North Korea.

But since Jeon was not on the South Korean Defense Ministry's list of prisoners of war -- he was on the killed-in-action list -- he was not helped until his family came forward with photos.

Beijing has an agreement with Pyongyang to repatriate North Koreans who illegally enter China. Defectors, aid workers and analysts say those sent back face torture or even execution at the hands of security forces.

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Vegetarian Virgin Mary Ad Riles Boston Church

BOSTON (Reuters) - The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Boston Tuesday demanded the removal of an animal rights group's billboard advertisement depicting the Virgin Mary cradling a lifeless chicken in her arms.
The ad by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals features the tagline "Go Vegetarian -- It's an Immaculate Conception," a reference to teachings about Mary's purity.

But the church said the billboard was "offensive at any time" and especially so during the Christmas season.

"Why any organization would seek to garner goodwill for itself and its message by promoting an ad campaign that is so offensive to a large number of people within the community is unclear," the archdiocese said in a statement.

"What is clear is that if PETA truly cares about ethical behavior, the billboard message should be taken down as soon as possible," it added.

PETA said it has no plans to take down the billboard in Boston.

PETA said a similar advertisement went up in Providence, Rhode Island, earlier this month but was quickly removed by the billboard's owner amid similar complaints from Catholics there.

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Queen Elizabeth's Dog Killed by Daughter's Terrier

LONDON (Reuters) - Britain's Queen Elizabeth is mourning the death of one of her beloved corgi dogs after it was savaged by her daughter's bull terrier, newspapers reported on Wednesday.
Princess Anne's bull terrier Dottie, which last year earned her a fine by biting two children, attacked the corgi at a royal family gathering at the Sandringham estate in eastern England on Monday, the top-selling Sun tabloid said.

The Daily Mail said the corgi, Pharos, was later put down, having suffered three fractures to one of its hind legs.

Pharos was one of the queen's oldest and most devoted pets.

Anne was fined $882 in November last year after Dottie attacked two children, aged seven and 12, in Windsor Great Park near London.

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Family Buries Wrong Man Due to Prison Mix-Up

OKLAHOMA CITY (Reuters) - An Oklahoma family that thought they had just buried a son who killed himself in prison received a phone call after returning from the funeral from the supposed dead man who said he was very much alive.
The relatives of Kevin Wyckoff, an inmate in Oklahoma's Lexington Correctional Facility, were the victims of a case of mistaken identity, prison officials said on Tuesday.

The family was sent the body of another inmate of similar physical characteristics as their son. The two inmates had recently switched cells, which led to prison officials being confused about their identities, they said.

"On Friday, an inmate committed suicide by hanging himself. Our chart reflected it was Kevin Wyckoff who was supposed to be in that cell," prison spokesman Jerry Massie said.

The inmate who was buried appears to be Steven Howe, Massie said. Howe was serving a sentence for driving under the influence and attempting to elude a police officer. Wyckoff is serving a sentence for assault with a deadly weapon and kidnapping.

The body of the buried prisoner will be exhumed and then a medical examiner will confirm the identity, prison officials said.

The Wyckoff family has told reporters they are happy their son is still alive but they have a few questions for prison officials, including who will pick up the tab for the funeral.

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Newspaper Publishes Only Good News for Xmas

BERLIN (Reuters) - Germany's top-selling newspaper published nothing but good news Wednesday, dropping its normal fare of crime, violence and scandal for stories about tax cuts, falling petrol prices and accelerating economic growth.
"There's only good news today," Bild wrote in two-inch high letters at the top of page one, where the giant headlines are usually devoted to sex scandals, Germany's cannibal trial, killers, adulterers or dishonest politicians.

Urging Germans to shed their natural frosty demeanor for the Christmas holiday season, Bild columnist Peter Bacher said there was always plenty of good news around, even if it was "sometimes overshadowed by evil, horror and terror."

Bild also reported churches were full for Christmas services, California's earthquake spared San Francisco, president Johannes Rau appealed for more state money for families, share prices rose, and political leaders promised more big tax cuts.

Skipping its usual "loser of the day" entry, Bild picked two "winners of the day," including rock star Ozzy Osbourne who was released from intensive care in hospital after an accident in Britain.

Even a story in the paper with 12 million readers about a Berlin celebrity who broke up with her boyfriend took a positive approach: "Great news, Djamila Rowe is single again."

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Former Miss South Africa Attacked by Hippo

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa (Reuters) - A former Miss South Africa has been attacked by a wild hippopotamus and bitten on the leg, local media reported on Wednesday.
Media reports said Diana Tilden-Davis, Miss South Africa 1991 and a runner up in the 1991 Miss World contest, was attacked while canoeing in the Okavango Swamps of neighboring Botswana and was airlifted to Johannesburg's Milpark hospital.

"We are treating her and she's in a stable condition," an official at the hospital told Reuters, but declined to give further details.

Earlier this month, another South African woman was killed by a hippo while she and her husband were on their honeymoon in Botswana.

Hippos, which can weigh up to two tons and have a frightening set of teeth, are among the most dangerous animals in Africa.

They are highly territorial and may attack if a person finds themselves in the unenviable position of standing between the water and a hippo feeding on land.

Hippos will also charge boats in the water if they feel their territory has been invaded.

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Man Commits Suicide to Escape Nagging Wife

DAR ES SALAAM, Tanzania (Reuters) - A Tanzanian man killed himself by drinking a chemical used in cattle dips, leaving a suicide note saying it was to escape a nagging wife, police said on Wednesday.
The body of the 32-year-old was found in the commercial capital Dar es Salaam on Sunday with the suicide note and a glass containing traces of the chemical, used for killing insects on livestock, regional police commissioner Alfred Tibaigana told Reuters.

"I've decided to end my life," Tibaigana quoted the suicide note as saying.

"I am fed up with the constant nagging of my first wife."

Police did not have any further details about the man's death in the east African country, where polygamy is common.

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Stowaway Found Dead in New York on Jet from Jamaica

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Maintenance crews found the body of a man believed to be a stowaway inside an American Airlines jet at New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport, a spokesman for the airport said on Thursday.
Maintenance workers discovered the dead man, estimated to be about 25, around 11 p.m. on Wednesday in the wheel well of the aircraft.

The plane, American Air flight 1190, landed at 7 p.m. (midnight GMT) on a flight from Montego Bay, Jamaica, said Dan Maynard, a spokesman for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey that operates the airport.

"Port Authority police are investigating the circumstances of the case but believe the unidentified man was a stowaway because he was found in a location where people are not supposed to be," he said.

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German Firefighters Rescue Flock of Seagulls

MUNICH, Germany (Reuters) - Munich firefighters were called out on Christmas day to rescue a flock of seagulls that got stuck when a lake near the city's Olympic stadium froze over.
"They didn't notice it was getting colder and their tails got frozen stuck," a fire brigade spokesman said on Thursday. "We were able to help most wiggle free but one bird was so stuck so we had to cut out the whole chunk of ice and take the whole thing back to the station."

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Germans Go Naked, Dip Into Icy Lake for Health

BERLIN (Reuters) - Forty Germans jumped into an ice-cold Berlin lake for their annual Christmas Day swim for good health, undeterred by floating ice chunks or water temperatures of one degree Celsius (34 degrees Fahrenheit).
The men and women, nearly all of them naked, spent about five minutes in the water during the traditional swim on Thursday in Berlin's Oranke Lake which they believe is good for their health and for a laugh.

The tradition goes back many years though no one knows for sure how many. The swimmers -- outnumbered by camera people drawn to the annual media event -- built up their courage for the dip by singing Christmas carols.

"It's actually sick to get up so early and jump into such cold water," said shivering Max Korinke. Christl Barth added: "I'd never do this on my own, but in a group you lose your inhibitions."