The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Clothes unmake the man who robbed a shop

TARPON SPRINGS, Fla. (Court TV) — If you are going to return to the scene of a crime, at least change your outfit.

Police arrested Fredwood Lamont Coney, 41, on charges he robbed an adult entertainment store in February after he returned to the same store last week wearing virtually the same outfit he wore when he allegedly held up a clerk at knifepoint.

Following the Feb. 2 robbery at Adult Entertainment Center, store clerk Joshua Brown, 19, gave police a description of the robber's clothing: a blue wind-breaker jacket, jeans and distinctive light brown low-cut work shoes.

The suspect reportedly brandished a knife, grabbed some cash and ran out. Nobody was hurt.

Early on the morning of March 2, Brown was working again when he thought he recognized Coney, who walked into the store around 2:30 a.m. It was those same light brown work shoes and jeans that hammered the point home for Brown, who immediately called police.

It is unclear if Coney was at the store to rob it again. But when police searched him following his arrest they allegedly found an 8-inch Bowie knife under his clothes.

Coney was charged with carrying a concealed weapon, armed robbery and violation of parole. He pleaded not guilty and is being held in Pinellas County jail.

[TexasStooge]

Police seek beer sign thief

MANITOWOC, Wis. (Court TV) — A bogus beer distributor is wanted for swiping neon beer signs.

The man reportedly entered several stores on Feb. 20 and told workers he was going to clean or replace the signs, police said. The signs, each valued between $200 and $1,000, have not been returned.

The suspect is described as a heavyset white male, about 6 feet tall. He was seen driving a dark-colored Chevy Suburban or Tahoe towing a 20-foot black trailer.

Police reportedly have at least one lead: a surveillance video of the man entering a Manitowoc business and leaving the store with a neon beer sign. The suspect is accompanied by a woman.

Authorities believe the man started in Manitowoc, where he allegedly swiped two signs from a Wal-Mart, then drove north on Highway 42 to Two Rivers, where two signs valued at $500 each were stolen from a Pick-and-Save store.

Investigators believe the man also stole signs from Algoma and Sturgeon Bay and that more thefts have gone unreported.

[TexasStooge]

Nun Faces Jail for Drunk Tractor Driving

WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish Benedictine nun is facing jail for driving a tractor into a car while drunk outside her convent in southwestern Poland, police said on Friday.

The 45-year-old nun will be charged with drunk-driving and causing an accident, which carries a prison sentence of up to two years, Dariusz Waluch, police spokesman in the southwestern Polish town of Dzierzoniow, told local news agency PAP.

He said the nun was 17 times over the country's legal alcohol limit for driving.

[TexasStooge]

Desperate Afghan Makes an A** Out of Himself

KABUL, Afghanistan (Reuters) - A frustrated Afghan soldier who could not afford to get married has been released without charge after being caught having sex with a donkey, police said Tuesday.

The soldier, who was not identified, was detained for several days last week after a young boy spotted him with the animal in an abandoned house in the southeastern town of Gardez.

"The man insisted he had no other choice but the donkey because he could not afford to pay a dowry to get married," a local police officer told Reuters.

The man had since been released without charge, he said.

In many parts of Afghanistan men must pay at least $3,000 to the parents of their prospective bride, making marriage difficult for many in a country where the average annual income is only a few hundred dollars.

Under the strict Islamic rule of the fundamentalist Taliban regime overthrown in 2001, sex outside of marriage or bestiality were punished by stoning to death or flogging.

[TexasStooge]

Woman Jailed After 'Flipping Off' Sheriff

EVANSVILLE, Ind. (AP) - A woman made an obscene gesture toward an SUV Monday — one carrying the county sheriff and chief deputy — and ended up in jail, police said.

Mary Ann Sweeney, 33, of Evansville was stopped behind a bus.

She pulled to the left to get around the bus at the same moment a Ford Explorer started to pass. The SUV braked to let her in, police said.

Sweeney then "flipped off" the Explorer's driver, Vanderburgh County Chief Deputy Eric Williams, he said. The passenger was Sheriff Brad Ellsworth.

The Explorer was marked as a sheriff's vehicle, but did not have a light bar on top, police said.

Ellsworth and Williams pulled Sweeney over to talk to her about her "road rage" and ran a check on her license plate.

They found that both she and her husband, Jerry DeWayne Sweeney, were wanted on outstanding civil warrants for $500 each, and that the car was illegally registered, police said.

Ellsworth said they found marijuana in the car and in the woman's purse and cigarette pack. Mary Ann Sweeney also was charged with misdemeanor marijuana possession.

The couple was taken to the Vanderburgh County Jail and later bonded out.

"I guess the moral of the story is, if you have warrants against you, you shouldn't flip off the police," Ellsworth said.

[TexasStooge]

Misdial leads to drug arrest

DURANT, Okla. (Court TV) — An Oklahoma woman meant to dial a drug dealer, but called her probation officer instead.

Patria Michel, 48, was arrested last week after she tried to trade the prescription drug Xanax for methamphetamines.

The probation officer, Doug Canant, played along when Michel called him looking for "David." The 13-year veteran was initially joking when he told Michel she had indeed reached a dealer.

After some initial skepticism on Michel's part, the two struck up a conversation, arranged a deal and even discussed her "red-headed, SOB" probation officer.

"She had a couple of other tacky comments about me, so obviously I had made an impression on her," Canant told The Daily Oklahoman.

Canant then setup a sting at Michel's home, where she was arrested.

As one of only three probation officers in the small town, Canant might have another chance to yuck it up with Michel, who faces up to two years in prison if convicted.

"It will be the luck of the draw," Canant told Reuters.

[TexasStooge]

Legislator drinks to new drunk driving laws

ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico (Court TV) — In their effort to strengthen state drunk driving laws, New Mexico legislators indirectly nabbed one of their own.

Albuquerque police arrested state Rep. Joe Thompson less than 24 hours after the House minority whip attended a local ceremony celebrating the state's new drunk driving laws. The 37-year-old Republican was charged with driving while intoxicated and careless driving after twice failing a breathalyzer exam with blood alcohol levels of 0.11 and 0.12. New Mexico's legal limit is 0.08.

Thompson apologized to his family, his friends and the citizens of New Mexico in a written statement.

"While I am terribly embarrassed by this situation, I am thankful that no one else was involved," Thompson said. "I will follow the advice of my family and physician to obtain whatever treatment is necessary."

As a first-time offender, Thompson, who is scheduled to be arraigned April 8, is unlikely to face any jail time or even a high fine. The new measures that he helped guide through the legislature, which include longer sentences and mandatory screening and treatment programs, only apply to repeat offenders.

[TexasStooge]

Man wants to go directly to jail

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (Court TV) — Most people want to avoid jail time. But New Orleans police recently found a citizen so eager to be behind bars that he couldn't keep his clothes on.

St. John Parish sheriff's deputies were called to a Winn-Dixie just after 3 p.m. Saturday to investigate a report of a naked man roaming the grocery store. When police got to the scene, they discovered Larry Clements, 29, wearing a butcher's coat, given to him by store staff, waiting for authorities.

"He refused to move," said Chief Deputy Harold Kilbert. "He told [the employee] 'Go ahead and call the police. I want to go to jail."

Clements got his wish and spent an otherwise uneventful night at the Sherman Walker Corrections Facility, Kilbert said. He was charged with first offense obscenity and released Sunday on a $3,530 bond.

Clements will be arraigned May 10 and faces $1,000 in fines or six months in prison. It remained unclear why the county jail was Clements' weekend destination of choice.

"I wouldn't have a clue," said Kilbert. "I wouldn't have a clue."

[TexasStooge]

Teen suspect caught on tape in robbery after calling police for medical assistance

LANGLEY, Wash. (AP) — A teenager bleeding after apparently smashing the glass door at a gas station called for emergency aid — and was arrested, authorities say.

The 18-year-old apparently cut himself in the break-in Friday night at a closed filling station on southern Whidbey Island, said Island County sheriff's spokeswoman Jan Smith.

Surveillance videotapes indicate he tried without success to open the cash register, stuffed his pockets with packs of cigarettes and left, Smith said. He then returned three minutes later, again failed to get the cash drawer open and put more smokes into his pockets, she said.

That's when he called 911, claiming he tried to break up a burglary by two men who beat him with a bat and fled in a sports car.

[TexasStooge]

Court demands painting from cheese thief

OTTAWA, Canada (Court TV) — When a homeless artist was caught stealing a $2 block of cheddar cheese, a Canadian judge gave him the most flattering sentence he could have asked for: He ordered him to produce a painting for the courthouse.

After 37-year-old Matthew Cardinal entered a guilty plea Tuesday in an Ottawa lower court to the November cheese theft, Ontario Justice Paul Belanger sentenced him to six months probation and ordered him to complete a work of art for permanent display in the courthouse.

"That's the great thing about Justice Belanger: He imports a sense of dignity to a lot of our clients," said Karen Reid, Cardinal's lawyer, according to the Canadian Press.

Cardinal, who sells paintings and sculptures on the streets of the nation's capital, has a criminal record that includes assault and breaking and entering.

[TexasStooge]

Programmer pinched for extortion plot

SAN JOSE, Calif. (Court TV) — After a poor attempt to impress a potential employer, a southern California computer programmer was charged with attempting to extort Web-search company Google Inc. for $100,000.

But Michael Bradley insists he was trying to expose vulnerabilities in Google's system when he approached the company on March 2.

Bradley told executives he had created software that that would roam the Web and fraudulently click on ads belonging to Google and its advertisers, potentially costing the search giant millions.

According to a government affidavit, Bradley offered to sell Google the program, called Google Clique, for $100,000. He also offered his services as a click fraud consultant.

When Google didn't bite, Bradley sent an e-mail saying if Google didn't pay him the $100,000, he would sell the software to spammers and the public at large, who would then generate fake advertising hits, costing Google millions in advertising dollars.

When he later showed up at company's offices on March 10 for a follow-up meeting with Google engineers, federal agents recorded the conversation.

Two weeks later, the U.S. Secret Service charged Bradley with interfering with commerce by threats or violence and mail fraud.

Bradley was released on a $50,000 appearance bond on the condition he not use computers, the Internet or try to contact Google and its employees.

He is scheduled to appear in court again on April 8.

[TexasStooge]

Real cops arrest impostor patrolman

SAN DIEGO, California (Court TV) — Juan Soriano's highway patrol stint ended as soon as it began when police picked up the 28-year-old for impersonating an officer and false imprisonment.

California Highway Patrol received a tip early Sunday morning about a driver in a beige Chevrolet with a flashing light strapped to the top. The impostor police vehicle had even pulled over another car.

Real police caught up with the faux officer on the southbound Interstate 5 freeway near Chula Vista, Calif.

They booked Soriano on the suspicion of false imprisonment into the San Diego Central Jail.

He is scheduled to appear in court on May 6, according to the San Diego County Sheriff's Web site.

[TexasStooge]

License left behind leads cops to man who tried to cash stolen check

HARRISON, Ark. (Court TV/AP) — Police had no trouble tracking down a man who tried to cash a stolen check at a Harrison bank.

After the teller, a policeman's wife, recognized the check as stolen, the man took off from a drive-through window — and left his driver's license behind.

Steven Allen Miller, 39, pleaded innocent last Friday to charges of theft of property and breaking and entering.

Police said Miller broke into a man's car and stole a cell phone, police scanner, 80 music CDs and a $243 check on Feb. 29. The next day, police say, he went to a bank and tried to cash the check at a drive-through window.

The clerk instructed the man to step inside because she needed identification beyond the driver's license that he had submitted with the check. Instead of entering the bank, Miller drove off.

Police found Miller at the address listed on his license.

[TexasStooge]

Woman Swallows Diamond Ring in Florida

CLEARWATER, Fla. (AP/Tampa Tribune) - A woman pleaded guilty to swallowing a 1.5 carat diamond ring at a jewelry store and will serve one year of probation.

Mary Denise Flowers, 38, swallowed the ring at Littman Jewelers in December. A surveillance camera caught the act.

The ring was later recovered in a jailhouse commode, and will be sent to Littman Jewelers' corporate headquarters in Oregon to be melted down.

Flowers, who did not have a previous criminal record, was also ordered Monday to pay fines and court costs totaling $1,090, court records state.

The judge withheld a formal finding of adjudication, meaning Flowers will have a clean record if she completes probation without violation.

[TexasStooge]

She Closed Airport to Avoid Vacation with Boyfriend

DUESSELDORF, Germany (Reuters) - A Croatian woman was convicted Thursday of disturbing the peace for phoning a bomb threat to Duesseldorf airport to get out of a vacation with her boyfriend.

The woman was given a suspended sentence after admitting in court that she called authorities and, in a hoax, made an al Qaeda bomb threat because her parents disapproved of her boyfriend.

"I didn't know how I would be able to tell my parents about a holiday with him and I couldn't really say to him 'Listen, my parents wouldn't approve'," the woman, 28, identified only as Marina B., told the Duesseldorf state court Wednesday.

"Then I had the idea that if the trip could somehow be blocked by someone else, for example a bomb threat, then that would solve all the problems," she added. Her flight departed anyway, several hours late.

The threat prompted authorities to shut down Germany's third busiest airport on a busy Sunday in September, stranding 64,000 people for hours, while police searched in vain for a bomb.

Police initially arrested her boyfriend, after tracing the threatening phone calls to his cell phone, when the couple returned from Spain. He denied making the calls.

Prosecutors had demanded a three-year jail sentence for the woman. But the court opted to give her a two-year suspended sentence. Separately, she faces a damage claim of 1.5 million euros ($1.9 million) from the airport and airlines.

[TexasStooge]

Jewel thief downs diamond ring

CLEARWATER, Fla. (Court TV) — All things must pass, including stolen jewelry.

Mary Denise Flowers was sentenced to probation this week after pleading guilty to grand theft for swallowing a $20,000 diamond ring at a mall jewelry store last December.

There is probably never a truly good time to down a diamond ring. But Flowers' timing was downright awful.

When the Littman Jewelers clerk was not looking, Flowers swallowed the 1.5-carat platinum solitaire just feet from Clearwater Police Detective Ramon Cosme, two uniformed mall guards and a forensic technician, who were all investigating a reported watch theft.

Store employees immediately alerted Cosme to the missing ring. Despite being caught on a surveillance camera, Flowers initially denied devouring the diamond.

Making matters worse, she agreed to have her stomach X-rayed at a nearby hospital. The pilfered precious gem reportedly sparkled against the dark background of the X-ray film.

Police arrested Flowers and a judge ordered that she be held without bail until authorities got the ring back. Flowers was placed in Pinellas County jail under constant surveillance, first by a deputy and later in a cell with a camera.

The commode in the cell was outfitted to catch anything Flowers passed and 72 hours after she was booked, investigators struck platinum: The ring was recovered intact, price tag still affixed.

In addition to one year of probation, a judge ordered Flowers to pay fines and court costs of $640. She was also told to stay away from the jewelry store.

As for the ring, the ordeal has greatly tarnished its resale value, according to a company spokesman.

The piece will eventually be sent back to the Littman Jewelers' corporate offices in Oregon where the ring will be melted down. The actual diamond will likely be returned to the vendor.

[TexasStooge]

Police: Mother stripped at son's birthday party

MERCER, Pa. (Court TV) — Patricia Johnson exhibited parenting skills so poor they were criminal.

A judge last week sentenced the 35-year-old mom to up to 15 months in jail for her out-of-control antics at a birthday party for her teenage son, where she allegedly stripped and popped pills.

Johnson pleaded guilty to charges of furnishing alcohol to minors and corruption, a charge that covered a wide range of inappropriate behavior with children under 16, according to prosecutors.

Authorities initially charged Johnson with 27 criminal counts, including indecent exposure and reckless endangerment, but dropped most of the charges in exchange for her guilty plea in February.

The charges stemmed from a bizarre birthday bash.

The celebration started innocently enough, with Johnson taking her son and three of his friends to ride go-karts at about 10 p.m. on July 26. But plans changed when Johnson found that the go-karts already had been rented.

Johnson then drove the boys to a beer distributor and purchased a 30-pack of Miller High Life beer, according to a police report. Next, Johnson checked the group into a room at the Raddison Hotel in Shenango Township.

There, Johnson reportedly gave the boys beer and told them she wanted to be a stripper. She gave them $1 bills and asked them to put the money in her bra and panties, the police report stated.

Johnson, who was drinking and taking prescription pills, also allegedly exposed herself to the teens and asked them to spank her.

After trashing the hotel room, Johnson awoke the next morning and instructed the teens to drive to get her breakfast, and later, to drive again to get her a drink. The teens did not have driver's licenses but took the trips anyway, police said.

Johnson later drove the boys home at speeds up to 100 mph. The mothers of the three guests and the teens themselves recounted Johnson's behavior to police several days later.

While Johnson did not admit to stripping as part of her guilty plea, she did admit she allowed the boys to drink alcohol and participated in horseplay with them.

During sentencing, Mercer County Judge Christopher St. John scolded Johnson, who claimed her strange behavior was fueled by pills and alcohol.

[TexasStooge]

Both brothers botch store robbery

PERTH AMBOY, N.J. (Court TV) — If at first you don't succeed, send your brother to try, try again.

Guy and Glenn Makowiecki were busted several days apart for separate robberies of the same convenience store, police said.

The sibling spree began on March 28 when Guy Makowiecki, 41, allegedly walked into a Quick-Chek convenience store at about 9:45 a.m. and demanded money at knifepoint. A 34-year-old female clerk turned over $635 and Guy Makowiecki fled the store on foot.

It did not take police long to catch the suspect, who was also a regular customer of the store. Later that day, Guy Makowiecki was arrested and charged with possession of a weapon, making terroristic threats and robbery.

Just four days later, Glenn Makowiecki, 36, followed his older brother's lead, and fared far worse.

The younger Makowiecki allegedly entered the same Quick-Chek store around 1:15 p.m. on April 2 and demanded cash from the same 34-year-old woman behind the counter. Glenn Makowiecki ran off with an undisclosed amount of cash. But he didn't have much time to spend his loot.

Five minutes later, police caught up with Glenn Makowiecki one block from the store as he tried to hide under the Route 440 overpass, police said. He was charged with robbery and weapons offenses.

It is unclear whether Guy and Glenn Makowiecki coordinated their ill-fated attempts. Perth Amboy Police Director Michael Kohut could not be reached for comment.

The bungling brothers are both being held at the Middlesex County Adult Correction Center, Guy in lieu of $100,000 and Glenn in lieu of $75,000.

[TexasStooge]

Well, looks like I beat Mark (tropicalweatherwatcher) with this story.

Chubby, Barefoot Man Outruns Police

SYDNEY, Australia (Reuters) - A chubby, barefoot Australian man outran police Wednesday when he bolted through security gates left open at the back of a court he was being led into, officials said.

Security footage showed the overweight man dashing down a back lane in central Sydney pursued by at least four police and prison guards, two of whom tripped while giving chase.

"There was about seven or eight fellows but they couldn't stop him. He was a big fellow, pretty strong, but he could run," witness Chris Swift told reporters.

Red-faced police and prison officials were left to blame each other for the security slip-up. "My information is...that he was definitely in police custody," Australian Corrective Services official Ron Woodham said.

Asked how an overweight, barefoot man had outrun police, inspector Peter Thorne said: "I don't know, I wasn't here."

The 23-year-old man completed his getaway when he forced a mother and her daughter out of their car in a busy city street and drove off. He was last seen heading for Sydney's famous Harbour Bridge.

[TexasStooge]

Ravioli robber back in jail.

TARENTUM, Pa. (Court TV) — It took less than a day for 28-year old Thomas Rotosky to resume his criminal exploits. It took local cops just as much time to put him back behind bars.

Rotasky was arrested Tuesday morning minutes after allegedly robbing approximately $2,500 from the First Commonwealth Bank and just a day after he was released from a stint at the state prison in Cresson, according to the Valley News Dispatch.

Upon further investigation, police concluded that he used the same bank note to swipe close to $2,000 from another First Commonwealth bank Monday afternoon in nearby Johnstown, which lies 30 miles away from his old caged home.

According to Constable Tim Dugan of District Judge Carolyn Bengal's office, Rotasky was charged with robbery, theft by unlawful talking, receiving stolen property and terrorist threats.

Bengel set bail at 25,000 and an arraignment date of April 7. 2004.

The unarmed felon, who was arrested along with 45-year old Christine Stripay, faces at least 10 years if convicted of the robbery, according to Dugan.

Rotasky had spent two-and-a-half years in prison for a string of robberies, including one in which he tried to used a can of ravioli to stick up a corner store.