"Hamwinkies" The Crazy News Thread

[TexasStooge]

Grandmasters push toilet row aside to play chess

By James Kilner

MOSCOW (Reuters) - It went down to the wire but in the end the Russian turned up to play.

A 12-round chess match between Russia's Vladimir Kramnik and Bulgarian Veselin Topalov to decide the world's top player resumed on Monday after a row over toilet breaks forced a two-day suspension.

Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, World Chess Federation president and head of the south Russian republic Kalmykia hosting the match, interrupted a conference with Russian President Vladimir Putin to broker a successful truce between the two teams at the weekend.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------
I like to see them try Wizard's Chess.
_____________________________________________________________

Clown is running for mayor of Alameda

ALAMEDA, Calif. (AP) - A real clown is running for mayor of Alameda, and even his sister won't vote for him.

Kenneth Kahn, 41, a professional joker known as "Kenny the Clown," admits he's running a long-shot campaign for City Hall's top spot. Kahn has not previously run for an elected position and has never sat on a public board.

"People ask me, 'Do we really want to elect a clown for mayor of the city?'" he said. "I say, 'That's an excellent question.'"

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------
Laugh, Mayor, Laugh!
_____________________________________________________________

Hey, no fair voting for yourself!

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - The Dutch have voted themselves Europe's third most loutish, bad-mannered nation behind Russia and France, according to a survey in Dutch daily De Telegraaf on Saturday.

"As we are too many people living in just a little country our tolerance of one another is continuously declining," wrote one of the survey respondents.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, at least they admitted to their bad-mannered ways.
_____________________________________________________________

Ark. woman finds rabid skunk under house

WESTERN GROVE, Ark. - A rabid skunk was found recently in north Arkansas, attacking a kitten. Veterinarian Beverly McClintock of Western Grove said a Marion County woman said she heard a commotion coming from under bushes last week.

She looked under the bushes and saw a skunk attacking a kitten. McClintock said the woman told her she beat the skunk off the kitten with a stick, then the skunk chased her onto the porch and sprayed her.

Neighbors helped look for the skunk and found it in a dog house.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
That skunk's gotta be high on something...
_____________________________________________________________

Weightless teachers carry thrills home to students

By Maggie Fox, Health and Science Correspondent

DULLES, Virginia (Reuters) - The moment he became weightless, Mike Hickey of South High School in Cleveland, Ohio, completely forgot about the science experiment he was to conduct.

"After the first bounce, I said nuts to the experiments," an exhilarated Hickey said after returning from his 90-minute flight aboard G-Force One, an aircraft specially designed to simulate the zero gravity of space by making controlled free-fall descents.

Hickey and 38 other teachers took part over the weekend in the last of five "Weightless Flights of Discovery" sponsored by Northrop Grumman Corp. and Zero Gravity Corporation of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------
I know you're thrilled that you lost some weight, but you're a class behind!

[rainstorm]

MOSCOW (Reuters) - It went down to the wire but in the end the Russian turned up to play.

A 12-round chess match between Russia's Vladimir Kramnik and Bulgarian Veselin Topalov to decide the world's top player resumed on Monday after a row over toilet breaks forced a two-day suspension.

Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, World Chess Federation president and head of the south Russian republic Kalmykia hosting the match, interrupted a conference with Russian President Vladimir Putin to broker a successful truce between the two teams at the weekend.

Full Story Here

i use the bathroom alot when i play chess

[TexasStooge]

And the most requested funeral song is...

LONDON (Reuters) - James Blunt's "Goodbye My Lover" is the song most requested at British funerals and remembrance services, closely followed by Robbie Williams's "Angels," according to a survey released on Monday.

Research for the Bereavement Register found just over a half (51 percent) of people ask for a specific song be played at their funeral and 79 percent have talked with family and friends about possible song choices. The survey of 5,000 people also uncovered some unusual final choices for the final goodbye with rock songs like "I'll Sleep When I am Dead" by Bon Jovi, competing with classical tracks and soul.

"The top 20 really shows how far we have come in terms of saying goodbye. Gone are the days dirges of yore, instead we are seeing contemporary music that is easier to relate to," said Mark Roy, founder of the Bereavement Register, which removes the names and addresses of people who have died from databases to reduce junk mail.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------
And the most requested break-up song is James Blunt's "You're Beautiful".
_____________________________________________________________

Angry dog stage mothers sue L.A. agency

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (AP) - Stage mothers for a Rottweiler and other dogs have sued a company called Hollywood Paws for failing to turn their pooches into stars. More than a dozen pet owners contend the company collected tens of thousands of dollars but never delivered on promises to get film and television auditions for their pets.

"I lost a lot of money," said Rachel Armstrong, owner of Goliath the Rottweiler.

Armstrong said she believed her dog had the "cool" factor that would get him into music videos and paid nearly $2,000 to Hollywood Paws LLC for training.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
Think of this as an "American Idol" contest...
_____________________________________________________________

Police seek suspected killer freed by vote

SAO PAULO, Brazil (Reuters) - Brazilian police said on Tuesday they will resume the hunt for a suspected serial killer who was freed due to Brazil's electoral law despite confessing to raping and stoning to death five women.

The law, designed to ensure fair elections, prohibits anyone from being arrested and held by police from five days before an election until 48 hours after polls close, unless they are caught in the act or have already been sentenced.

Brazil held general elections on Sunday. A second-round run-off between the two leading presidential candidates takes place on October 29.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------
Wait a minute...why did they free the killer in the first place?
_____________________________________________________________

'Flying Elvis' suffers broken pelvis

BROWNING, Mont. (AP) - A "Flying Elvis" suffered a broken pelvis during the grand opening of the Glacier Peaks Casino here. Paul Moran is a member of The Flying Elvi, a 10-member skydiving team made up of Elvis Presley impersonators, who were hired to parachute into the parking lot at the casino Friday.

Other members of the troupe said the Las Vegas man apparently misjudged the landing and hit the ground at 50 mph.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Whoever reported this story which isn't boring...is a poet and doesn't know it.

[rainstorm]

Angry dog stage mothers sue L.A. agency

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (AP) - Stage mothers for a Rottweiler and other dogs have sued a company called Hollywood Paws for failing to turn their pooches into stars. More than a dozen pet owners contend the company collected tens of thousands of dollars but never delivered on promises to get film and television auditions for their pets.

"I lost a lot of money," said Rachel Armstrong, owner of Goliath the Rottweiler.

Armstrong said she believed her dog had the "cool" factor that would get him into music videos and paid nearly $2,000 to Hollywood Paws LLC for training.


my cat wants to be a star

[TexasStooge]

Police hunt breast enlargement cheats

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German plastic surgeon who was cheated out of payment by several women has given pictures of their enlarged breasts to police, in the hope the photos will help trace them.

"The women registered under fake names," Michael Koenig, a surgeon in Cologne, told Bild newspaper. "After the operations, which lasted about an hour, they just ran away."

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------

_____________________________________________________________

Malaysia to levy fines for poor speech

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) - Malaysia will levy fines on those incorrectly using the national language, and will set up a specialized division to weed out offenders who mix Malay with English, news reports said Thursday.

Culture, Arts and Heritage Minister Rais Yatim said fines of up to 1,000 ringgit ($271) can be imposed on displays with any wrong or mutated form of Malay, the Star newspaper reported.

The move was to ensure "the national language was not sidelined in any way," Rais said, according to The Star.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
The city must be desperate for money, otherwise they wouldn't have done such a thing.
_____________________________________________________________

Tourniquet: Bad advice for a snake bite

MURFREESBORO, Tenn. - A Rockvale man discovered that Western films aren't a good source of emergency medical advice for a snakebite. Mike Edwards, 46, was bitten by a timber rattlesnake Saturday while working on his Rockvale farm. The bite was so severe that Edwards was kept at Vanderbilt University Medical Center until Monday.

The standard snakebite scene in many movies shows the victim applying a tourniquet to the limb and then cutting the wound and sucking out the venom.

As Edwards and his wife, Andrea, waited for the ambulance to arrive, a good Samaritan tried to help using advice gleaned from Hollywood.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Never follow any advice from Hollywood films.

[TexasStooge]

Woman screams, 'Fire!'; attackers flee

By BERT LOZANO / WFAA ABC 8

Using a self-defense techniques she saw on television, a North Texas woman yelled for help by screaming out "fire" while being attacked.

Deanna Trahan said it worked.

Trahan, 25, was returning to her apartment complex from a friend's house around 2:30 a.m. when she got out of her car on a dark corner and a truck pulled up behind her. Two men then emerged from the car and suddenly approached her.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
If I only wish they put that on "America's Most Wanted".
_____________________________________________________________

Half Americans admit to re-gifting

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - Wrapping up that unwanted picture frame from last Christmas and giving it to someone else as a gift might not be as taboo as it once was, according to a study released on Wednesday.

The survey of 1,505 American adults, conducted by market research firm Harris Interactive, found that over half of the respondents admitted to "re-gifting" with passing on gifts becoming a far more common and acceptable phenomenon.

In fact 78 percent of consumers who were polled felt that it was acceptable to re-gift some or most of the time.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------
Don't look at gift towards mouth...

[TexasStooge]

Abducted by aliens? Call now for compensation

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German lawyer hopes to drum up more business by pursuing state compensation claims for people who believe they were abducted by aliens.

"There's quite obviously demand for legal advice here," Jens Lorek told Reuters by telephone on Thursday. "The trouble is, people are afraid of making fools of themselves in court."

Lorek, a lawyer based in the eastern city of Dresden who specializes in social and labor law, said he hoped to expand his client base by taking on the unusual work.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
"Uhh, I was kidnapped by aliens 10 years ago..."
_____________________________________________________________

Stinky feet, annoying noise top IgNobel prize list

By Maggie Fox, Health and Science Editor

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Research into stinky feet, a study on the sound of fingernails on a blackboard and a device that repels teen-agers with an annoying high-pitched hum on Thursday won IgNobel prizes -- the humorous counterpart to this week's Nobel prizes.

Other winning research included a U.S. and Israeli team's discovery that hiccups could be cured with a finger up the rectum and a study into why woodpeckers do not get headaches.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------
Better have Odor Eaters and Ear Plugs at hand!
_____________________________________________________________

Reverse psychology lands driver in hot water

SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian has been charged with reckless driving after trying to reverse 310 miles across the outback, local media reported on Friday.

Police in Western Australia state were shocked when they saw a 23-year-old man driving in reverse along The Great Eastern Highway at 30 miles per hour on Thursday, said Australian radio.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------
Tryin' to pull a "Ferris Bueller" trick that never works, huh?
_____________________________________________________________

Spider causes man to lose control of SUV

LEVANT, Maine (AP) - A Levant man told police he lost control of his 2003 Lincoln Navigator after he was startled by a spider on Wednesday morning.

James Lee, 28, was trying to get out of the SUV when it smashed into a tree. He walked away with a bloody nose caused by the air bag.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------

[rainstorm]

Abducted by aliens? Call now for compensation

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German lawyer hopes to drum up more business by pursuing state compensation claims for people who believe they were abducted by aliens.

"There's quite obviously demand for legal advice here," Jens Lorek told Reuters by telephone on Thursday. "The trouble is, people are afraid of making fools of themselves in court."

Lorek, a lawyer based in the eastern city of Dresden who specializes in social and labor law, said he hoped to expand his client base by taking on the unusual work.

Full Story Here


if a court actually heard a case like this, wouldnt the court be the fool?

[JonathanBelles]

id love to be on that jury haha

[TexasStooge]

Marine takes bids on new name

JACKSONVILLE, N.C. (AP) - Hoping to raise money for his family and an orphanage, a 29-year-old Marine is running an online auction in which the winning bidder will get to give him a new name — and he promises to make it legally binding.

"I've always thought about different cool inventions and neat ideas like this," said Sgt. Cody Baker, an Alabama native who was most recently stationed in Japan but is transferring to Camp Lejeune this month. "It's just the way my mind works. Most of them are off the wall like this. They just sound ridiculous."

The bidding at Baker's Web site, http://www.choosemyname.com, began July 20, with a $5 offer to name him Mr. Clean.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
This would go over well.
_____________________________________________________________

R.I. pumpkin may be largest ever

WARREN, R.I. (AP) - Despite heavy rains that stunted pumpkin growth, a Rhode Island farmer has set what could be a new record for the largest pumpkin in the world.

Ron Wallace's pumpkin weighed 1,502 pounds at Saturday's weigh-off competition, heavier than the current Guinness World Record-holding 1,469-pound pumpkin grown last year by Larry Checkon of Pennsylvania.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
I thought everything big comes from Texas. Then again, big surprises come in small packages.
_____________________________________________________________

Thai snake charmer puckers up to cobras

PATTAYA, Thailand (AP) - A Thai snake charmer kissed 19 highly poisonous king cobras in an attempt to set a world record Saturday.

One by one, the cobras were released onto a stage set up in this Thai beach resort town, as the snake charmer, Khum Chaibuddee, kissed each beast and then moved on to the next.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------
That's just nasty.

[TexasStooge]

A new threat: remote-controlled toys

COLOMBO (Reuters) - Sri Lanka has banned imports of remote-controlled toy cars, boats and planes because of fears Tamil Tiger rebels could use them as bombs, a senior military official said Tuesday.

"You get remote-controlled planes and cars which can be operated on the road. If it gets into the wrong hands, they can bring a small toy, send it underneath a vehicle and blast it," the official said on condition of anonymity.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------
Isn't that the dumbest thing you've ever heard?
_____________________________________________________________

Runaway bride is suing former fiance

LAWRENCEVILLE, Ga. (AP) - Jennifer Wilbanks, who became known as the "runaway bride" after taking off just days before her lavish wedding in 2005, is suing her former fiance for $500,000.

Wilbanks and John Mason broke up for good in May, about a year after her excursion to Las Vegas and New Mexico made international headlines while hundreds of friends and family members searched for her back home in suburban Atlanta.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
This is news?
_____________________________________________________________

TV show exposes lawmakers' drug

ROME (Reuters) - A popular Italian satirical TV show has exposed what appears to be widespread drug use among the country's parliamentarians by secretly testing them for a number of illegal substances.

Of 50 lower house deputies who fell for the trick organized by the program Le Iene (the Hyenas), almost one third appeared to have taken drugs in the previous 36 hours, 12 of them testing positive for cannabis and four for cocaine, it said.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
BUSTED!!

And in the State Fair of Texas news:
_____________________________________________________________

Man eats 247 jalapenos to win contest

DALLAS, Texas (DallasNews.com/Star Telegram/AP) - A 62-year-old retired accountant from Nevada swallowed 247 peppers in eight minutes to win the Jalapeno Eating World Championship at the State Fair of Texas.

Richard LeFevre won $2,000 for prevailing in Sunday's contest, which was sponsored by the International Federation of Competitive Eating.

"I love to eat, and I love to compete, so the two go pretty well together," said LeFevre, the world's eighth-ranked eater according to the federation.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------------
(Hoarse voice) "I like to do this contest again next year!"

[TexasStooge]

Four die in armed brawl over a pothole

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - Four Mexicans were killed when a dispute between two Tzotzil Indian families over a pothole in the street escalated into a full-blown shootout.

One of the families closed off the cracked concrete and mud road in the town of Banelos in the poor southern state of Chiapas to fill in a hole left by heavy rain.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
It's amazing how childish behavior could escalate into fatal fury.
_____________________________________________________________

Skier wins wife carrying contest

NEWRY, Maine (AP) - John Farra, a former Winter Olympian from Caribou who trained by running up a ski slope with 80 pounds of mortar mix, won the seventh annual North American Wife Carrying Championship on Saturday at Sunday River.

Farra's first-place finish earned him and his 110-pound wife Tess her weight in beer and five times her weight in cash, or $550. They also are eligible for a $1,000 reimbursement toward a trip to the world championships in Finland next July.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------
That's awesome!
_____________________________________________________________

Typo will cost Michigan county

GRAND HAVEN, Mich. (AP) - Ottawa County will pay about $40,000 to correct an embarrassing typo on its Nov. 7 election ballot: The "L" was left out of "public."

A total of 170,000 ballots will have to be reprinted.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

_____________________________________________________________

Dropout makes big bucks playing games

JUPITER, Fla. (AP) - When 18-year-old Tom Taylor dropped out of high school because he wanted to play more video games, most people were skeptical. Now he's known as Tsquared on the gaming circuit. He's earning six figures and has product endorsements and a video game tutoring business.

He's one of about 100 professional gamers associated with Major League Gaming, a video gaming league founded in 2002. When they're playing well, pros might bring home a few grand a month.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------
Somebody give him an iQuest.

[TexasStooge]

But didn't they used to call this torture?

BEIJING, China (Reuters) - China has warned image-conscious citizens against using the rack to lengthen their legs after several such operations went badly wrong, Xinhua news agency said.

Ten people were reported to have been disfigured after they underwent stretching surgery last year, it added.

The operation, which involves breaking the patient's legs and then stretching them on a rack, has become popular among young professionals "desperate to climb up the ladder in the country's height-conscious society," Xinhua said, without trying to pull anyone's leg.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------
EEEWWW!!
_____________________________________________________________

Developer claims retaliation for sign

By GEOFF MULVIHILL, Associated Press Writer

MOUNT LAUREL, N.J. (AP) - The man who once put up a billboard message that called New Jersey "a horrible place to do business" says he's paying a price for speaking out. He figures it's about $6 million.

Real estate developer William Juliano's story involves an unopened Wal-Mart store in Cape May County, a huge billboard in Salem County and battles with Trenton bureaucrats in two state departments.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------
Guess this guy is taking the freedom of speech a little too far.
_____________________________________________________________

For some men, sports pre-empts emergency room stop

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Not even a medical emergency can pull some men away from a television showing their favorite sports teams, a U.S. study has determined.

University of Maryland emergency physician David Jerrard tracked nearly 800 regular season college and professional football, baseball and basketball games in the state over three years and found there always was an increase in the number of men who checked into emergency rooms after these events.

Jerrard's study, to be presented on Sunday at the annual meeting of the American College of Emergency Physicians Research Forum in New Orleans, showed about 50 percent more men registered in emergency rooms after a football game than during the event itself.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Because they're too cheap to get a TiVo.
_____________________________________________________________

Cockroach-eating contest bugs animal

TORONTO (Reuters) - An animal rights group called Tuesday for a North American theme park operator to cancel a competition in which people will try to break the world cockroach-eating record.

Theme park operator Six Flags Inc, based in New York, is staging the contest as part of a promotion leading up to Halloween in which it is also offering customers free entry or line-jumping advantages if they eat a live Madagascar hissing cockroach.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) said it had been flooded with calls from children, adults and even anonymous employees of Six Flags opposing the record-breaking contest and the overall promotion.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------
I would rather eat jalapenos.

[TexasStooge]

Death-row prisoner gets pregnant in solitary

HANOI (Reuters) - A death-row inmate held in solitary confinement in Vietnam for almost a year is pregnant and is seeking a pardon to give birth, a newspaper reported on Thursday.

The Lao Dong (Labour) newspaper quoted a police doctor as saying tests in September confirmed that convicted heroin trafficker Nguyen Thi Oanh, 39, was then 11 weeks pregnant.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How she got pregnant in solitary confinement, I can't say.
_____________________________________________________________

Mich. woman tries to sell mummy on eBay

PORT HURON, Mich. (AP) - Officials are trying to track down the origins of a mummified human skeleton that a Michigan woman tried to sell on eBay.

The St. Clair County medical examiner's office confiscated the mummified remains Tuesday from the home of Lynn Sterling.

Sterling, 45, told police she got the remains from a friend who works in demolition and said he found them in a Detroit school he helped tear down nearly 30 years ago, police said. She said she had contacted an attorney before posting the remains for sale.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lotsa luck. Oh, and throw in a pack of Hamwinkies while you're at it.
_____________________________________________________________

Watching horses race just for the fun of it?

NIR YAFFE, Israel (Reuters) - Want to bet who will win the races in Israel's first official horse-racing stadium? You can't.

Most forms of gambling are illegal in the Jewish state, with Jewish religious law forbidding most types of betting and any activity that may suggest cruel treatment of animals. Only government-sponsored betting and gambling is allowed.

However, this has not stopped Israel from opening its first authorized horse-racing track in a hippodrome seating several thousand people. Spectators will just have to settle for watching the races without trying to make a profit from them.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------
The horse race is live at Cough-em-up Stadium.
_____________________________________________________________

Chef makes wedding gown with cream puffs

By MATT HAGENGRUBER, Associated Press Writer

UZHHOROD, Ukraine (AP) - Valentyn Shtefano's pastries were known for attracting stares and giggles as well as lip-smacking murmurs. But even his fiancee was surprised when Shtefano told her he was making her wedding dress — out of flour, eggs, sugar and caramel.

The dress — made of 1,500 cream puffs and weighing 20 pounds — took the 28-year-old baker two months to make, and by the end of the wedding reception, bride Viktoriya said she didn't want to take it off.

Shtefano is a rising star in the field of baking as visual art, earning him a following in this city near the border with Slovakia. His creations have generated a buzz in a place where cake is often layers of heavy cream, wafers and nuts or poppy seeds — more something to eat than to look at.

Full Story Here
------------------------------------------------------------
Don't forget to add some Hamwinkies as dress buttons.

[TexasStooge]

Disney says "non" to Mouse orgy

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (Reuters) - The Walt Disney Co. on Thursday said it took "appropriate action" against employees at its Paris theme park who were caught simulating sex while dressed as Disney characters in a digital video that has received wide attention on the Internet.

Disney would not say whether it had dismissed any of the costumed employees featured in the grainy video, which appears to have been shot with a hidden camera at a backstage dressing room at Disneyland Resort Paris.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------------
They might also be banned from working any Six Flags theme parks.
_____________________________________________________________

Malaysian pays $54,300 for vanity plate

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) - A Malaysian man has paid $54,300 for a car license plate bearing his surname, the highest bid in the country for such an item, an official and news reports said Friday.

The "TAN" license plate went to an ethnic Chinese businessman, identified only as Tan, The Star newspaper said, quoting Road Transport Department director-general Emran Kadir.

Full Story Here
-------------------------------------------------------------

[rainstorm]

UZHHOROD, Ukraine (AP) - Valentyn Shtefano's pastries were known for attracting stares and giggles as well as lip-smacking murmurs. But even his fiancee was surprised when Shtefano told her he was making her wedding dress — out of flour, eggs, sugar and caramel.

The dress — made of 1,500 cream puffs and weighing 20 pounds — took the 28-year-old baker two months to make, and by the end of the wedding reception, bride Viktoriya said she didn't want to take it off.

Shtefano is a rising star in the field of baking as visual art, earning him a following in this city near the border with Slovakia. His creations have generated a buzz in a place where cake is often layers of heavy cream, wafers and nuts or poppy seeds — more something to eat than to look at.

lets hope the guests didnt eat her dress before the wedding

[TexasStooge]

Fake coins create stir on LA's Skid Row

By JOHN ROGERS, Associated Press Writer

LOS ANGELES, Calif. - It looked like the "deal of the century," police said, a couple of guys down on their luck on Skid Row, selling valuable old silver coins for $20 apiece.

It was a pretty good deal, too, but only for the sellers. The coins they were peddling turned out to be as worthless as $3 bills.

"They're such blatant counterfeits that all you have to do is give them a once over with your eyeballs to know they're fakes," said Ron Guth, president of Professional Coin Grading Service in Irvine.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------
Money can make a person do stupid things.
_____________________________________________________________

Classroom trash can used as toilet Fri

CHARLESTON, S.C. (AP) - A fifth-grade teacher allowed five students — a boy and four girls — to use a trash can as a toilet during a school lockdown drill when no one was supposed to leave the classroom.

The Charleston County teacher, Philip Frandino, was reprimanded last year for putting cardboard around a student's desk and keeping him isolated from his classmates for two hours for talking, The (Charleston) Post and Courier reported Friday.

On Tuesday, Frandino gave the Charlestowne Academy students permission to use the trash can. When a girl used the bathroom, other girls held up jackets to shield the view while other students stood on the opposite wall with their backs turned, school district spokesman Jerry Adams said. Boys also did the same for the boy.

"It's not acceptable," associate superintendent Patricia Yandle told the newspaper.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------
Nasty if you ask me...
_____________________________________________________________

Woman "kidnaps" son four times for ransom

MADRID (Reuters) - A Spanish woman staged fake kidnappings of her son four times and got his father to pay her more than a million euros ($1.26 million) in ransom money, newspaper El Mundo reported Friday.

Police in the southern Spanish city of Seville arrested the woman and five accomplices, including the 15-year-old son who cooperated in the deception by calling his father on the telephone and begging him to pay up.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------
If you want money from him, why don't you ask?

[Jim Cantore]

Grandma sues Postal Service over fruitcakes
Postal clerk allegedly asked if 80-year-old was a terrorist

WILMINGTON, Del. - Lucille Greene takes baking and mailing about 30 fruitcakes as Christmas gifts seriously. Seriously enough that the 88-year-old grandmother sued the U.S. Postal Service for emotional distress after accusations of being a terrorist from a postal clerk, according to her federal lawsuit.

In December 2002, Greene showed up at the Magnolia post office to mail fruitcakes to relatives and friends when, her lawsuit says, a postal worker asked her, "What kind of explosives do you have in here?" before shaking the box.

In the lawsuit, Greene said others in the post office laughed at her, leaving her upset and in tears. She said she tripped over a concrete parking barrier outside and fell, breaking her glasses and chipping a tooth.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15264582/

[TexasStooge]

Poor monk has nothing but his eight ATM cards...

BEIJING (Reuters) - Chinese police, disguised as tourists visiting a mountain temple, have arrested a suspected embezzler dressed up as a monk, state media said.

Chen Boshi, a manager in the eastern province of Jiangxi, was suspected of embezzling $126,500 from his power company and fled to the temple in the neighboring province of Hubei last October, Xinhua news agency said Monday.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
There was an apartment manager my family knew that embezzled $36,000 from her company.
_____________________________________________________________

China university requires golf lessons

BEIJING (AP) - A Chinese university is requiring law and business students to take golf lessons to prepare them for a business world where deals are made on the golf course, news reports said Tuesday.

Xiamen University in the southeastern city of Xiamen joins a growing number of Chinese schools offering golf lessons, but is unusual in making them a required class.

Full Story Here
---------------------------------------------------------------
That'll be no problem for some future Tiger Woods students.
_____________________________________________________________

Rush to marry ends in tragedy

KARACHI (Reuters) - A Pakistani man has committed suicide outside his fiancee's home after he thought he accidentally killed her while trying to persuade her to get married early, police said Saturday.

The man, Ahmed Ashraf, was shooting a gun in the air outside his fiancee's home in the southern city of Karachi on Friday as part of his efforts to persuade her to get married two months early when a stray bullet accidently hit her, police said.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
"Patience is a virtue..." not to Mr. Ashraf.
_____________________________________________________________

Dog saves owner, dies trying to save cat

ELKHART LAKE, Wis. (AP) - After a disabled woman's cat started a house fire, her specially trained dog came to the rescue, then died trying to help the cat still in the house. Jamie Hanson said the 13-year-old dog named Jesse brought the phone so she could call 911 and also brought her artificial leg.

"She got me outside and then she heard the cat upstairs and she went up there to get the cat and she wouldn't come back to me," Hanson, 49, said at a news conference Monday at Aurora Sheboygan Memorial Medical Center where she was being treated for her injuries.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
What Jesse did was very brave. Hanson should be proud of her.
_____________________________________________________________

New jail visitor dress code: Bras a must

EVANSVILLE, Ind. (AP) - Revealing tops are out and bras are now a must for women visiting prisoners at the Vanderburgh County Jail. Jail officials imposed a new dress code policy after several incidents in which women visiting the jail exposed themselves to male prisoners.

The new policy, posted at the jail's front desk, states that women cannot wear halter tops, sleeveless dresses and shirts, see-through garments, revealing dresses, and shorts cut higher than 2 inches above the knee.

Full Story Here
--------------------------------------------------------------
HMMM...prisoners too cheap to get "Playboy" magazines.

[TexasStooge]

Painting the town red, sort of.

PATNA, India (Reuters Life!) - Authorities in eastern India are painting a crime-infested town pink in the hope that an image makeover will lift the sagging morale of residents who are fed up with the decline in law and order, officials said on Monday.

The ancient town of Aurangabad in Bihar -- one of India's most backward and poorest states -- is a hotbed of crime ranging from killing, extortion, kidnapping and inter-caste wars.

Officials say the idea of painting the city pink originated from the dominant Rajput community, who migrated from the western state of Rajasthan where the capital, Jaipur is known as the pink city of India.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
That's one way to rid of crime.
_____________________________________________________________

Diamonds are icing on $20 million wedding cake

LOS ANGELES, Calif. (Reuters) - A confection billed as the most expensive wedding cake in the world makes its debut on Monday night in Beverly Hills, but is likely to cause indigestion.

The extravagant $20 million diamond-studded wedding cake, created by Mimi So Jewelers and cake designer Nahid La Patisserie Artistique, is the star attraction of the Luxury Brands Bridal Show and will be unveiled on exclusive Rodeo Drive.

"Where else would you debut a $20 million wedding cake but on Rodeo Drive?" said show organizer Ilona Sherman.

Full Story Here
----------------------------------------------------------------
Who would wanna eat a 20 Million dollar cake when they know darn well it looks to be $15.
_____________________________________________________________

Americans commute earlier and longer: study

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Americans are leaving home earlier to get work, fewer are walking, and more are driving alone, according to a study of commuting trends released on Monday.

The study, published by the Transportation Research Board, found people are also taking longer to reach their workplaces, with the number of people with commutes lasting more than 60 minutes growing by almost 50 percent between 1990 and 2000.

Alan Pisarski, author of the study 'Commuting in America III,' said the average national travel times among the nation's 128 million commuters grew to 25.5 minutes in 2000 from 22.4 minutes in 1990 and 21.7 minutes in 1980.

Full Story Here
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Why do you think some people here would rather take the commuter rail, it's a gas saver on every one of us!