The Stupid Crimes & Misdemeanors Thread

[TexasStooge]

Doughnuts Lead to Lotto Machine Thief

DES MOINES, Iowa (Fox News Channel) - He was shaping up to be such a promising lottery machine thief, but his gluttony did him in.

Roderick Reifenstahl and two other men allegedly used a stolen key last month to steal about $1,600 out of a lottery game at the Kum & Go store in Des Moines, Iowa, according to The Des Moines Register.

Detective Dave Smith noticed one of the suspects heading off to buy doughnuts and a soft drink while the other two stayed at the machine when he was looking over surveillance footage of the incident.

The mid-burgle doughnut buy was made with a food-stamp card, he later learned.

Cops traced the give-away pastry to Reifenstahl, 42, with the aid of the Iowa Department of Inspections and Appeals.

The police said last Tuesday that the sweet-cake transaction provided an electronic fingerprint to go with the security tape evidence.

Smith and Des Moines cops "hit a home run on this one," Ken Moon, an Iowa Lottery investigator, told The Register. "We've had several of these thefts reported around the city, and this is the first arrest."

Machines like the Blazing 7s slot-machine-like one the trio allegedly broke into are popular with gamers and a sought-after target of thieves.

A key to the machines was stolen from a store earlier this year and a thief swiped a key ring from a worker who services them in a separate incident, Moon told The Register.

Police have charged Reifenstahl with second-degree theft and say they are on the hunt for the other two alleged thieves.

— Thanks to Out There reader Scott T.

[TexasStooge]

Pa. Teacher Found Nude Faces Charges

HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) - A high school teacher faces charges of assaulting a police officer and possession of illegal drugs after being arrested earlier this month while standing naked in the snow, police said.

Curtis Lofton, 23, was arrested Dec. 10 after police found him nude outside his home. When asked where he lived and why he was naked, Lofton said that he was Jesus Christ and that the officer must be God, according to court papers.

A scuffle broke out between the two men during which Lofton is alleged to have hit the officer over the head with a plastic toy trumpet he found nearby.

Lofton was charged with aggravated assault involving a police officer, resisting arrest, open lewdness, possession of a small amount of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and unlawful possession of the prescription drug oxycodone.

The Central Dauphin School District would not comment on Lofton, a second-year French teacher.

Lofton's attorney, Terrence J. McGowan, said that Lofton's performance reviews have been excellent and that he had an impeccable record as a teacher.

[TexasStooge]

"Hey! How'd you find me?"

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) - German police Thursday captured two men suspected of stealing from 15 cars and two garden sheds by following their footprints in the snow for several miles.

Policemen were checking up on a car whose alarm had been set off just after midnight in the town of Hoentrop when they found a smashed window and two sets of footprints which they followed more than ten streets.

"At one point the tracks disappeared because someone had cleared the pavement outside their home in the middle of the night," police said in a statement.

After this minor setback, the officers picked up the trail again. The two sets of footprints led them directly to the entrance of a flat where the burglars not only stored their booty but also left their shoes and gloves to dry.

[TexasStooge]

$15,000 Worth of Beef Stolen From Cowtown

FORT WORTH, Texas (WFAA ABC 8/AP) - Police have a beef with a thief in Cowtown. Someone broke into a refrigerated trailer behind an upscale grocery store and stole about $15,000 worth of beef, according to Fort Worth police.

The frontier Army post was dubbed "Cowtown" around the 1860s or '70s when it became a major stop for cowboys herding their cattle to Kansas and Missouri.

The 16 cases of meat were stolen sometime between Tuesday night and Wednesday morning from the backup storage container, police Lt. Dean Sullivan said.

A store official declined comment, saying the theft is under investigation. Police have no suspects, Sullivan said.

[TexasStooge]

Police: Ark. Man Stole Sex Offender IDs

BENTONVILLE, Ark. (AP) - An Arkansas man is facing his own felony charges after allegedly using a sex offender registry to scam about $20,000 from credit cards and federal tax refunds in the name of registered sex offenders.

Matthew Buescher, 35, was arrested Wednesday after a traffic stop by a Benton County Sheriff's deputy who found file folders containing financial information on several people.

Deputy Doug Gay said Buescher apparently targeted Indiana sex offenders because their information was easy to get from the Internet, the sheriff's office said in a news release.

He told investigators he used the money to gamble in Oklahoma casinos, officials said.

Buescher, of Siloam Springs, was charged with financial identity fraud, driving on a suspended license and having fictitious tags. He posted a $7,500 bond Friday and was released from jail, authorities said Saturday.

[rainstorm]

Pa. Teacher Found Nude Faces Charges

HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) - A high school teacher faces charges of assaulting a police officer and possession of illegal drugs after being arrested earlier this month while standing naked in the snow, police said.

Curtis Lofton, 23, was arrested Dec. 10 after police found him nude outside his home. When asked where he lived and why he was naked, Lofton said that he was Jesus Christ and that the officer must be God, according to court papers.

A scuffle broke out between the two men during which Lofton is alleged to have hit the officer over the head with a plastic toy trumpet he found nearby.

Lofton was charged with aggravated assault involving a police officer, resisting arrest, open lewdness, possession of a small amount of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and unlawful possession of the prescription drug oxycodone.

The Central Dauphin School District would not comment on Lofton, a second-year French teacher.

Lofton's attorney, Terrence J. McGowan, said that Lofton's performance reviews have been excellent and that he had an impeccable record as a teacher.

put some clothes on

[TexasStooge]

Maybe you shouldn't answer a stolen phone.

STOCKHOLM, Sweeden (Reuters) - Swedish police caught a burglar after he answered a phone he had just stolen and did not hang up, letting them eavesdrop on his getaway ride in a taxi.

The man broke into a house in Overtornea in the far north of Sweden, stealing a mobile phone and other possessions.

The police rang the stolen phone and heard him swearing about the late arrival of a taxi which he had ordered to take him to neighboring Kalix, 37 miles away.

"The thief answered the phone but then just put it away without turning it off," said Overtornea policeman Kurt Paavola.

The police tracked down the taxi and arrested the man late Monday.

[TexasStooge]

Alleged Burglar Cooks, Makes Fresh Juice

ANDERSON, S.C. (AP) - Apparently, you can build up quite an appetite breaking-and-entering. James Michael Fowler, 26, was arrested for burglary Tuesday after a neighbor watching the house found a pan of cocktail franks cooking on the stove and some freshly made orange juice nearby.

Anderson Police Lt. Layton Creamer says when the neighbor went to check on the home, she saw the food cooking and a black stocking cap on the kitchen counter.

Creamer said it looked like Fowler broke into the two-story house through a first-floor window.

Officers didn't find Fowler at first. But when authorities returned to collect evidence, the neighbor noticed the key to the patio door wasn't in the lock, Creamer said.

That's when police saw Fowler lying, coiled up on the deck floor, Creamer said.

After authorities surrounded the house, they arrest Fowler as he tried to get back in through the deck door.

"He heard us and was trying to make his escape," Creamer said.

___

Information from: Anderson Independent-Mail

[TexasStooge]

Alleged Pizza Thief Gives Out Own Number

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) - A man apparently looking for free lunch was arrested for allegedly assaulting a pizza delivery man.

Police say Virgil Dennis ordered three pies from Pizza Hut at lunchtime Tuesday and gave the address of a vacant apartment downstairs from his own. When the driver arrived, authorities say 22-year-old Dennis pressed a knife against the delivery man's neck and demanded the pizzas.

The crime was reported and police traced the number Dennis provided Pizza Hut to an apartment two floors up from the one where the pies were delivered. When officers arrived there, they said a young man and woman opened the door, holding a small girl who was eating a slice of pizza.

"That was our first clue," said Officer George Springer.

Officers said they found Dennis hiding in the bathroom. While police waited for an officer to return with the delivery driver to identify his assailant, Dennis bolted from the apartment barefoot, handcuffs still dangling on one wrist.

"This guy jumps across about six different balconies, and scales down to the second floor," said Officer Darin Snapp.

After a brief struggle in the parking lot, police got him under control, and the driver identified Dennis as the thief.

Jackson County prosecutors charged Dennis with first-degree robbery and armed criminal action. Police returned the uneaten slices to Pizza Hut.

[TexasStooge]

'FINDME' Plate Dooms Alleged Bank Robber

NORFOLK, Neb. (AP) - Arlie Bichlmeier's personalized license plate reads "FINDME." Thanks to the plate, authorities did find him about 90 minutes after he allegedly tried to rob the Security National Bank branch in Laurel on Wednesday.

Bichlmeier, 58, walked into the bank about 9:30 a.m. and indicated his intention to rob the facility, the State Patrol said. There was no weapon shown and the suspect fled the bank without any money, the Patrol said.

Witnesses described the suspects vehicle as a 1994 Black GMC pickup, specifically the eye-catching "FINDME" plate.

At about 11 a.m., the Patrol and Norfolk Police Department located a vehicle and suspect matching the description in a parking lot.

Bichlmeier, of Norfolk, was questioned and arrested. He was lodged in the Cedar County Jail on charges of attempted robbery and making terrorist threats.

[TexasStooge]

Man Arrested in 'Goofy' Jewelry Theft

By DAVE KOLPACK, Associated Press Writer

FARGO, N.D. - Diamond earrings stolen from a college fundraiser were recovered when a Minnesota man tried to have them appraised at the jewelry store that donated them, authorities said.

Police said the man was arrested after he brought the $4,600 earrings to Wimmer's Jewelry at the West Acres mall. Store owner Brad Wimmer said the man had the original box along with the description of the jewelry.

"It was all very goofy," Wimmer said. "The value of the earrings was right on the description."

Charges were pending against the 23-year-old suspect, from Ada, Minn.

Wimmer's had donated the earrings to the North Dakota State University Development Foundation for its silent auction. They apparently were stolen from a storage area sometime during the Oct. 21-22 event, said Jason Wohlman, a development foundation spokesman.

"We're very happy they've been recovered," Wohlman said. "It was a very generous donation."

Wimmer said he alerted his employees and other jewelry stores after the earrings were reported stolen. He said it was unique jewelry that could be easily recognized.

"We put it out there in case someone wanted to trade them or sell them," Wimmer said. "But we figured it was the long shot of long shots."

Wimmer said his employees quickly identified the earrings when the suspect brought them in on Tuesday. He was told it would take a day to do the appraisal and left his name and phone number with Wimmer.

Wimmer said he called the man on Wednesday and told him the appraisal was finished. When the man arrived at the store, Wimmer pretended he was on a long-distance phone call until police arrived.

"He knew the jig was up when police came in the store," Wimmer said.

Police have no record of any previous criminal history for the suspect, Lt. Tod Dahle said.

"The part that's a little hard to understand is that he came back to the same place the earrings came from," Dahle said.

[TexasStooge]

Man Allegedly Torches Christmas Tree

GLENDALE, Calif. (AP) - Police arrested a man who allegedly torched the city's 30-foot-tall Christmas tree in retaliation for a parking ticket.

Bruce Morrison, 52, was arrested Wednesday at his Glendale home and was booked for investigation of arson, Sgt. Oscar Rodriguez said. He was released after posting $50,000 bail.

The tree at the Civic Center's Parcher Plaza was reduced to charcoal last Friday night. Witnesses told police that they saw a gray-haired man leaving the scene in a blue pickup truck shortly before the fire started.

Sgt. Ernie Garcia of the department's arson unit said the city will seek restitution of the tree's $2,500 cost and another $5,000 in decorations and fencing that were destroyed in the fire.

[Brent]

Man Allegedly Torches Christmas Tree

GLENDALE, Calif. (AP) - Police arrested a man who allegedly torched the city's 30-foot-tall Christmas tree in retaliation for a parking ticket.

Bruce Morrison, 52, was arrested Wednesday at his Glendale home and was booked for investigation of arson, Sgt. Oscar Rodriguez said. He was released after posting $50,000 bail.

The tree at the Civic Center's Parcher Plaza was reduced to charcoal last Friday night. Witnesses told police that they saw a gray-haired man leaving the scene in a blue pickup truck shortly before the fire started.

Sgt. Ernie Garcia of the department's arson unit said the city will seek restitution of the tree's $2,500 cost and another $5,000 in decorations and fencing that were destroyed in the fire.

[rainstorm]

Alleged Burglar Cooks, Makes Fresh Juice

ANDERSON, S.C. (AP) - Apparently, you can build up quite an appetite breaking-and-entering. James Michael Fowler, 26, was arrested for burglary Tuesday after a neighbor watching the house found a pan of cocktail franks cooking on the stove and some freshly made orange juice nearby.

Anderson Police Lt. Layton Creamer says when the neighbor went to check on the home, she saw the food cooking and a black stocking cap on the kitchen counter.

Creamer said it looked like Fowler broke into the two-story house through a first-floor window.

Officers didn't find Fowler at first. But when authorities returned to collect evidence, the neighbor noticed the key to the patio door wasn't in the lock, Creamer said.

That's when police saw Fowler lying, coiled up on the deck floor, Creamer said.

After authorities surrounded the house, they arrest Fowler as he tried to get back in through the deck door.

"He heard us and was trying to make his escape," Creamer said.

___

Information from: Anderson Independent-Mail

sounds like a nice meal

[TexasStooge]

Artist Arrested for Vandalizing Urinal

PARIS, France (AP) - A 76-year-old performance artist was arrested after attacking Marcel Duchamp's "Fountain" — a porcelain urinal — with a hammer, police said.

Duchamp's 1917 piece — an ordinary white, porcelain urinal that's been called one of the most influential works of modern art — was slightly chipped in the attack at the Pompidou Center in Paris, the museum said Thursday. It was removed from the exhibit for repair.

The suspect, a Provence resident whose identity was not released, already vandalized the work in 1993 — urinating into the piece when it was on display in Nimes, in southern France, police said.

During questioning, the man claimed his hammer attack on Wednesday was a work of performance art that might have pleased Dada artists. The early 20th-century avant-garde movement was the focus of the exhibit that ends Monday, police said.

A 2004 poll of 500 arts figures ranked "Fountain" as the most influential work of modern art — ahead of Pablo Picasso's "Les Demoiselles d'Avignon," Andy Warhol's screen prints of Marilyn Monroe and "Guernica," Picasso's depiction of war's devastation.

"Fountain" is estimated at $3.6 million.
___

On the Net: Pompidou Center

[TexasStooge]

Suspected Counterfeiters Clog Toilet

PUEBLO, Colo. (AP) - Two people suspected of counterfeiting money spent at least a week relieving themselves in plastic shopping bags, because the plumbing stopped working in their apartment when they flushed wads of suspected fake cash down the toilet, authorities said.

Selina Jean Valdez, 28, was arrested Thursday on a warrant for forgery, possession of forgery instruments and criminal mischief. Her suspected partner Daniel Marquez, 41, is wanted on the same charges.

The two are suspected of running a low-tech counterfeiting operation, using a combination printer-scanner-copier and a personal computer to make fake $50 and $100 bills, detectives said.

Investigators said they think Marquez and Valdez flushed wads of the counterfeit money down the toilet on Dec. 26 when detectives tried to question the two suspects. The rental duplex where Valdez and Marquez were staying was discovered flooded with sewage Thursday when police executed a search warrant.

Detective Shane Pope said police believe the fake money was widely circulated among the couple's acquaintances, who spent it at local businesses. Investigators plan to compare the serial numbers on bills seized Thursday to those taken by police after being spent at businesses.

___

For more information, go to http://www.chieftain.com.

[TexasStooge]

Drunk Woman Sics Dogs on New Zealand Cops

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) - A drunken woman unleashed pitbulls on two New Zealand policemen responding to a domestic dispute, sending them scrambling to their patrol car where she bashed in their windshield with her feet, police said.

Gunshots and pepper spray couldn't deter the pair of angry hounds, which hurled themselves at the car's windows, said Detective Senior Sergeant Neil Grimstone in the northern city of Auckland.

The "intoxicated and aggressive female," meanwhile, "jumped up onto the bonnet of the car and smashed the patrol vehicle's windscreen with her feet," he said in a statement.

Back-up officers arrived and tried to negotiate with the woman, but to no avail. One of the dogs charged and was shot and wounded. The woman also assailed officers and was arrested, he said.

Grimstone said the shooting still didn't deter either dog, with the wounded one again turning on police — and shot a second time.

"The dog has, only after being shot twice, then run off," he said.

Both animals were later impounded and were to be destroyed, he said.

The woman, aged 27 but not identified by police, faced charges of assault with a weapon, intentional damage, disorderly behavior and resisting police. Grimstone said more serious charges were likely.

"There is no question that this woman is totally responsible for the demise of these animals. Drunken, violent, aggressive and confrontational behavior like this will not be tolerated," he said.

Grimstone wasn't immediately unavailable for comment Tuesday. It was unclear why the officers were called to the home.

[TexasStooge]

Robbery Suspect 'Sings the Blues'

By DAN JOLING, Associated Press Writer

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) - Memo to robbers: If you disguise yourself as a Smurf, make sure you wipe behind your ears afterward. Anchorage police said a man painted his face and tried to rob a hotel, but was arrested when officers spotted residual blue stains on his neck, ears and forehead.

Daniel Peter Clark, 19, is charged with robbery and assault.

Anchorage police Lt. Paul Honeman said a clerk at the Super 8 Motel said a man with a blue face walked in and asked for money at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday. When the clerk said no, the man pulled out a knife.

The clerk retreated into a hotel office and locked the door and the suspect fled on foot, Honeman said.

Police put out a description of the suspect: a man in his early 20s, thin, with short blond hair wearing a puffy red coat like a ski jacket. And a blue face.

Much of the description sounded familiar to Officer Kevin McDonald.

A day earlier, McDonald had responded to a disturbance call at the Chelsea Inn. He spoke to a young man with short blond hair who was wearing a puffy red coat.

McDonald and Sgt. Chris Sims drove to the Chelsea Inn and spoke to the desk clerk. Twenty minutes after the robbery call, Clark appeared. "In runs Mr. Clark, still wearing his blue face," Honeman said. "It was a clue."

Blue ink on his fingers also was a tip-off.

Police believe Clark ran from the Super 8, washed his face and walked to the Chelsea, where he was checked in. Blue stain, however, was prominent on his ears, neck and throat.

Police obtained a search warrant for Clark's room. They recovered a knife sheath and an ink blotter commonly used at bingo parlors for stamping cards.

"He appears to have cut it open and emptied the contents into an ice bucket," Honeman said. "He painted himself up good."

Police photographed Clark with the blue stains in place.

He is being held at the Anchorage Jail with bail set at $3,000, Honeman said.

[TexasStooge]

Elvis Song Puts Lover in Heartbreak Hotel

PERTH, Australia (AP) - A woman stabbed her boyfriend with a pair of scissors because he repeatedly played the Elvis Presley hit "Burning Love" on the King's birthday, police said Tuesday.

The 35-year-old man was treated for six stab wounds to his head, back and legs at the hospital in the farming town of Northam in Western Australia state late Monday night but was allowed to go home, state police spokeswoman Ros Weatherall said.

His girlfriend was charged with unlawful wounding and was to appear in a Northam court Tuesday.

"Police will allege ... the 30-year-old woman stabbed the man with a pair of scissors during an argument over him playing the same Elvis Presley song again and again," a police media statement said.

[alicia-w]

SACRAMENTO, California (AP) -- Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger vowed to update his driver's license after police determined he had been riding his Harley Davidson illegally when he got into a minor accident over the weekend.

Schwarzenegger "will move forward to get the appropriate endorsement," the governor's spokeswoman, Margita Thompson, said Tuesday, two days after the accident that left him with 15 stitches in his upper lip.

Police did not cite the governor because they arrived after the accident. Officers referred their findings to the city attorney's office, which will determine whether Schwarzenegger should be cited for an infraction.

City attorney spokesman Jonathan Diamond said the office had not received the LAPD report. Driving a motorcycle without the proper license can result in fines ranging from $100 to $250 or more.

But while police determined that the governor had violated a traffic law, other agencies disagreed, citing different sections of the state vehicle code.

Spokesmen for the California Highway Patrol and state Department of Motor Vehicles said the governor's basic Class C license allowed him to ride the motorcycle with its sidecar attached.

Schwarzenegger's 12-year-old son, Patrick, was riding in the sidecar during the accident but was not injured. Both Schwarzenegger and his son were wearing helmets.

Schwarzenegger, a Harley Davidson owner who rides regularly with friends along the California coast, said Tuesday that he never bothered to obtain a California motorcycle license because he "never thought about it."

Schwarzenegger said he had a motorcycle license when he lived in Europe but never considered obtaining another one after he immigrated to the United States in 1968.

"I just never really applied for it," he said.