Woman vs Cop

[j]

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if
you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car
and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A
senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn
gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: My officer told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is stunned.

Officer 2: My officer claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer snaps opens the clutch purse and
examines the license. He looks puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am. My officer told me you didn't' have a
license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.

Older Woman: I bet the lying basta*d told you I was speeding, too.

[Lindaloo]

LOL!!!! I just let some in the office read this one, including a couple of deputies. LOL. They want me to print this one.

[streetsoldier]

I'd have been laughing too hard to press the ticket issue on her... :o

[Guest]

LOL... good one. Think it'll work?

[StormCrazyIowan]

LOL!!! That's my kind of woman!

[petal*pusher]

Loved this! I can just imaging a little stooped over lady with a twinkle in her eye...........(OOPS! I was lookin' in the mirror!).......p

[breeze]

LOL, uh-oh....that one goes in my little black
book (in the glove compartment)!!

[JetMaxx]

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JCT777]

LOL!! Too funny!

[j]

LOL... good one. Think it'll work?

mrschad....If I were you I'd stick with the age old proven ticket escape for most woman....unbutton a couple of blouse buttons...and bat those eyelashes...Men are men..we are weak, and easily distracted.

On the flip side of that coin...I tried a little charm last time I was pulled over by a woman State Trooper and she told me if I didn't put my shoes back on she was going to ticket me for that too!

[azsnowman]

ROFLMAO@ j.........ya know, seriously, the Pinetop Boys in Blue ARE just like that, I've NEVER had a ticket, been stopped etc......Michelle on the other hand "AHEM" has been stopped numerous times for speeding, the *flash the eye lashes and unbottoning the the top buttons* DOES work here, she's never been ticketed OR even given a warning *sigh*

Dennis

[Lindaloo]

Same way here Dennis. LOL!!!

I had run a yellow light and the cop behind me ran it while it was red. He flipped on his blue lights, but I kept going. He then sounded his siren, but I just leaned over on the console and kept going. I observed him in the rear view mirror running my tag. When we got to the next light, he had turned off his lights, pulled up beside me and said "Oh don't worry about it Linda Green, you do not have to pull over" He used the f word too. lol. He then cut in front of me and took a right.

My point is... do not even attempt to pull me over if you did the same thing. LOL!!!

Now, if I did not know who the policeman was... I would not have done that, trust me. He did not know who I was because I had just bought my Camaro. Of course, he spread it around and people have made jokes about it. sheesh.

I have even had one push me out into the middle of an intersection late one night. Then he shot around me laughing. But that is okay, I just got him back about two weeks ago.

The real kicker is this though. I was standing in a convenience store talking to a friend. This store is where the police fill up on gas. There were two deputies at the pumps. Of course, they were giving me a hard time. One of them threw me a peace sign (LOL) so I threw one back. They hauled boogie for some reason. I noticed another man getting gas. He came in and he had a fuel card. He told me that he throws people in jail for stuff like that. I asked him who he was and he said I am "City judge for Moss Point" he was laughing about it. I was wondering after I gave them the peace sign why those two deputies got the heck out of dodge. LOL!!!!

[j]

Hmmmm..after reading this..I'm not sure if its an advantage..or a disadvatage to be in the same car with Linda Green.

So what your saying Linda is you have never had to open the blouse a button or three to get yourself out of a ticket...?

[Lindaloo]

The police around here will tell you it is a disadvantage. lol.

Nope, I have never had to do that j-bird. But, then again, they never have a reason to pull me over.

[thunder and lightning]

LOL That was really Funny