I was wondering

[Pburgh]

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
>why is there a song about him?
>
>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
>squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"
>
>Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's
>butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat?
>
>Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
>
>If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
>
>Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
>horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
>
>Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
>They're both dogs!
>
>What do you call male ballerinas?
>
>Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it
>doesn't work anymore?
>
>If Wile Coyote had enough money for all the Acme products,
>why didn't he just buy dinner?
>
>Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
>
>Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the
>shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
>
>Did Adam and Eve have navels?
>
>Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?
>
>Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have a 's' in it?
>
>Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
>
>And who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my.
>Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!"
>

[Rainband]

Those were cute and true. Thanks Pburgh

[wx247]

Very funny...

About the burnt toast though -- my grandma will eat it. Eek!

[azsnowman]

Hmmmm...never thought about a belly button on Adam and Eve, GOOOOD QUESTION!

Dennis

[JetMaxx]

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a song about him?
A. because Jimmy was also apparently a songwriter


What do you call a male ballerina? A. in Georgia, we call them "sissies"


If Wile Coyote had enough money for all the Acme products,
why didn't he just buy dinner?
A. because he was an idiot

[GalvestonDuck]

From one of many emails my stepdad sent out to all his friends, explaining the origin of stuff that we always wonder about:

Humpty Dumpty was not an egg at all; nor was he an English king as people frequently believe. Humpty Dumpty was the nickname for a huge wooden battering ram built for the army of King Charles I in the mid-1600s to roll down a slope, across the River Severn, and up against the walls of Gloucester. During England's Civil War Gloucester was held by Oliver Cromwell and his Roundheads. While Charles' army was busy building the "Humpty Dumpty" the Roundheads were secretly widening the river. Thus Humpty Dumpty was wrecked in midstream, "had a great fall", and toppled into the water, drowning hundreds of soldiers--and there was nothing all the king's men could do about it.


Paraphrased from a routine by former Christian comedian Mike Warnke:

Adam and Eve both had belly buttons. God looked at the big, smooth expanse of flesh on the front of his masterpieces, thought for a second, stuck his finger down on each one, and said, "Gootchy-gootchy-gooooo!"


And I don't remember all the details (plus I'm rushing to get out of here and go out to eat), but I think Jimmy was "whipping" Corn (cracking the whip) and Corn was the horse that threw the slave's master after it was bitten by a blue-tail fly. Thus, "Jimmy crack Corn and I don't care. My master's gone away."

Gotta further check that last one out later.

[GalvestonDuck]

Oh yeah, and Humpty was an egg-looking guy in "Through The Looking Glass" by Lewis Carroll.

Okay...later!

[JCT777]

That list certainly makes ya think.