About a year and half ago I started having some problems with depression. I'd NEVER had anything like that before in my life and thought that people who said "i'm depressed" was full of crap! Boy, did I get proven wrong! My depression got so bad November of 2002 that I couldn't do anything but cry. I managed somehow to drag myself to work, but all I wanted to do while I was there was go home and get in the bed. I had no clue what was wrong with me. Finally, things came to a head in Feb of 2003 when I picked a fight with my wife and she took the kids and went to her mom's for the night. I finally realized that something was wrong with me so I called a psychologist the next day. He talked to me for about an hour and told me that I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety. He put me on medical leave for 2 weeks. That 2 weeks ended up lasting from Feb 5th till Aug 3rd. I missed almost the whole 2nd semester of school. I was teaching Kindergarten at the time. (remind me never to do that again!).
My family doctor put me on effexor. That crap is awful! It made me jittery and ruined my sex life LOL. But it did help with the depression for a while. Then, on the advice of my psychologist, I went to see a psychiatrist...yeah, me...the one who said I'd never see a shrink cause I could handle my problems on my own....anyway, she changed my meds to welbutrin. Solved the sexual side effects, but didn't work as well as effexor on the depression. I applied for social security disability in May, but got a letter in mid August saying "Your disability is such that you cannot continue to work at your present job, but is not such that you can't do some other type of work" Go FIGURE! haha.
I managed to go back to work in Aug. even before hearing from SS.
Actually, I was feeling more like my old self. But then in Oct, it hit me again. My wife, son, and I were at a high school football game. I felt the anxiety coming on and all I wanted to do was disappear into a hole somewhere. Then it all started again...the crying, the wanting to be alone...stay in bed...not able to work...couldn't concentrate on what I had to do...didn't want to be in a crowd....I could go on and on...but anyway, to make a long story short, I went back to my psychologist. He suggested that I resign from teaching since the stress is so high and try to find something else to do. Only prob witht hat is there is nothing around here that pays as well with the same benefits that I had. I did resign in Dec 2003, but not because of what he said. I resigned because I knew I couldn't do the job that should be done and it was not fair to the kids.
So, after the end of this month, I'll have no money coming in. My wife is working part time and going to nursing school. I have money in the state retirement system and I'm going to draw it down so that we can get ahead on our house notes and pay our monthly bills. That should last us about 6 months or so, but then what? In the condition that I'm in, I know I can't work. Lord knows I'd much rather be working and feeling "normal" again, but it just ain't happening.
I've reapplied for SS disability and need your prayers that I can get it. I spoke to an attorney who said he'd take my case if Social Security turns me down. Says he wouldn't take it if he didn't think I was qualified for it since he doesn't get paid unless he wins. Ive been seeing the psychiatrist again too. She raised the dosage of my meds and maybe that will help.
I hate being this way. I'm short tempered, hard to get along with and miserable most of the time when I'm feeling depressed. It's almost like being paralized. I can't get out and go places or do things with my family.
Thanks for listening.
Tim
Need your prayers
Moderator: S2k Moderators
-
timNms
- Category 5
- Posts: 1371
- Age: 63
- Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2002 5:45 pm
- Location: Seminary, Mississippi
- Contact:
Need your prayers
0 likes
-
GalvestonDuck
- Category 5
- Posts: 15941
- Age: 57
- Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2002 8:11 am
- Location: Galveston, oh Galveston (And yeah, it's a barrier island. Wanna make something of it?)
-
cycloneye
- Admin
- Posts: 145950
- Age: 69
- Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2002 10:54 am
- Location: San Juan, Puerto Rico
Hey Tim my thoughts and prayers go to you and I know that all will be much better for you with all the prayers from the members.
0 likes
Visit the Caribbean-Central America Weather Thread where you can find at first post web cams,radars
and observations from Caribbean basin members Click Here
and observations from Caribbean basin members Click Here
-
southerngale
- Retired Staff
- Posts: 27418
- Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2002 1:27 am
- Location: Southeast Texas (Beaumont area)
Tim, hang in there and pray a lot. Let God help you with this...He can. I wish you the best and will keep you in my prayers as well. If you need to just talk, I don't know how much help I'd be, but I'll try and at least listen. 
0 likes
Please support Storm2k by making a donation today. It is greatly appreciated! Click here: 
my Cowboys my Rockets my Astros
my Cowboys my Rockets my Astros-
Suzi Q
Tim, I have sufferred with this mess for over 20 years, some with meds, some without. It's no fun as you well know. And the side effects-yuck! Once when my doctor asked me how I was doing, I replied "I'm doing great, but my husband is getting really grumpy" He got a chuckle out of that. Anyway, you are in my prayers and thoughts and here's some unsolicited advice:
1. Try and get some sort of exercise every day. The endorphins that are released MAY help.
2. Talk, talk, talk to your wife. We know how hard it is on us, but our spouses suffer also and the constant communication will make that bond stronger.
3. Get a worry jar. I use a coffee can and write the words "Worry Jar" on the front. Every time (which can sometimes be every 5 minutes on bad days) something seems overwhelming, write it down, put it in the jar, put the lid back on and WALK AWAY. It may seem silly, but there's something psychologically soothing in knowing that you put in in a container and locked it in there, like it can't keep bothering you. When the jar/can becomes full, THROW IT AWAY.
Anyway, there's how I deal with some of it. Then again, what would you expect from a southern snow quail?
Peace and happy thoughts to you,
Suzi
1. Try and get some sort of exercise every day. The endorphins that are released MAY help.
2. Talk, talk, talk to your wife. We know how hard it is on us, but our spouses suffer also and the constant communication will make that bond stronger.
3. Get a worry jar. I use a coffee can and write the words "Worry Jar" on the front. Every time (which can sometimes be every 5 minutes on bad days) something seems overwhelming, write it down, put it in the jar, put the lid back on and WALK AWAY. It may seem silly, but there's something psychologically soothing in knowing that you put in in a container and locked it in there, like it can't keep bothering you. When the jar/can becomes full, THROW IT AWAY.
Anyway, there's how I deal with some of it. Then again, what would you expect from a southern snow quail?
Peace and happy thoughts to you,
Suzi
0 likes
Tim, here's another one that's "been there". I did two
"tours-of-duty" at Baptist Hospital in Nashville in 1991,
due to depression, after my second divorce. I never
related "anxiety" and "depression" in the same boat -
I thought that a depressed person just sit around and
cried, which I did a lot of. Being a nurse, my PATIENTS
were always the ones that we sent to psychiatrists, and,
that could NEVER, of course, happen to me...
Stick with the psychiatrist and counselors...put aside your
generic ideas of "crazy" people. Sometimes, we ALL
need help, and, we are here to support you. And, like
Southerngale said, God can help you out when you need
a PUSH! PM me if you need to, my friend.
"tours-of-duty" at Baptist Hospital in Nashville in 1991,
due to depression, after my second divorce. I never
related "anxiety" and "depression" in the same boat -
I thought that a depressed person just sit around and
cried, which I did a lot of. Being a nurse, my PATIENTS
were always the ones that we sent to psychiatrists, and,
that could NEVER, of course, happen to me...
Stick with the psychiatrist and counselors...put aside your
generic ideas of "crazy" people. Sometimes, we ALL
need help, and, we are here to support you. And, like
Southerngale said, God can help you out when you need
a PUSH! PM me if you need to, my friend.
0 likes
-
Rainband
I know where you're coming from. I get the shakes and start crying and can't stop. The Dr. gave me meds and I take one every now and then when the stress starts getting to me. It all started when I suspected my hubby was doing drugs again. It's better now that he's out of the house. The rest will be taken care of in a few months. I wish you luck and will pray for you to get better soon.
{{{{hugs}}}},
Debbie
{{{{hugs}}}},
Debbie
0 likes
-
StormCrazyIowan
- Category 5
- Posts: 6599
- Age: 42
- Joined: Tue Feb 11, 2003 8:13 pm
- Location: Quad Cities, IA
- Contact:
-
Stephanie
- S2K Supporter
- Posts: 23843
- Age: 63
- Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 9:53 am
- Location: Glassboro, NJ
I'm sorry that I didn't see this sooner Tim!
I've been battling depression since 1988 or there abouts. The first medicine that my pyschiatrist put me on was Pamelor which helped some but it also produced anxiety attacks for me. He then switched me to Prozac and I've been on it ever since. The combination of the medication and the therapy really helped me to sort out me problems. I have a chemical imbalance but I did need the therapy to help me get over various issues that I had had for years. In the very beginning I was going once a week. I'm at a point now where I go every 6 months just to check in and to get a renewal.
I tried to come off of Prozac once to try and get pregnant - at that time it was thought that it may be dangerous for the child if the mother was on Prozac. I'll never do that again - I ended up becoming suicidal and having a nervous breakdown and spent about 4 - 5 days in the hospital just so I could get stabilized.
Prozac also causes a low-sex drive as well.
Everyone's situation with depression and medication is different. It seems TO ME that the medication that you are on, Wellbutrin, isn't strong enough to help with the depression. Actually, my psychiatrist at one time had me try Wellbutrin along with the Prozac to help with the sexual side-effects. I ended up having crying jags and anxiety from that combination so I'm just back to the Prozac.
Someone would have to really twist my arm to get me to switch from Prozac to something else because it's been a life saver for me. I feel like I can function, like I am who I'm supposed to be. I know what you're feeling about the loss of energy or interest in doing things that you used to love to do. To me, I compare depression as being in a black hole and it feeds on itself. You can't climb out of it without help and the more worried you get, the more depressed you get, etc. It's an AWFUL, helpless and hopeless feeling.
See if you can upgrade your dosage or switch the prescription. You shouldn't still be crying and feeling so isolated. You are still not enjoying life as you should be.
If you ever need to talk, pm me. Good luck and keep us up to date!
I've been battling depression since 1988 or there abouts. The first medicine that my pyschiatrist put me on was Pamelor which helped some but it also produced anxiety attacks for me. He then switched me to Prozac and I've been on it ever since. The combination of the medication and the therapy really helped me to sort out me problems. I have a chemical imbalance but I did need the therapy to help me get over various issues that I had had for years. In the very beginning I was going once a week. I'm at a point now where I go every 6 months just to check in and to get a renewal.
I tried to come off of Prozac once to try and get pregnant - at that time it was thought that it may be dangerous for the child if the mother was on Prozac. I'll never do that again - I ended up becoming suicidal and having a nervous breakdown and spent about 4 - 5 days in the hospital just so I could get stabilized.
Prozac also causes a low-sex drive as well.
Everyone's situation with depression and medication is different. It seems TO ME that the medication that you are on, Wellbutrin, isn't strong enough to help with the depression. Actually, my psychiatrist at one time had me try Wellbutrin along with the Prozac to help with the sexual side-effects. I ended up having crying jags and anxiety from that combination so I'm just back to the Prozac.
Someone would have to really twist my arm to get me to switch from Prozac to something else because it's been a life saver for me. I feel like I can function, like I am who I'm supposed to be. I know what you're feeling about the loss of energy or interest in doing things that you used to love to do. To me, I compare depression as being in a black hole and it feeds on itself. You can't climb out of it without help and the more worried you get, the more depressed you get, etc. It's an AWFUL, helpless and hopeless feeling.
See if you can upgrade your dosage or switch the prescription. You shouldn't still be crying and feeling so isolated. You are still not enjoying life as you should be.
If you ever need to talk, pm me. Good luck and keep us up to date!
0 likes
-
streetsoldier
- Retired Staff
- Posts: 9705
- Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2003 11:33 pm
- Location: Under the rainbow
I suffer from DSS, SAD and dysthemia (low-grade, constant depressive features), and have for about 22 years.
You DO have the option of discussing RX with your MD, and may I suggest Serzone and Doxepin...one is anti-anxiety, the other is a tricyclic anti-depressant.
The combination works very well with me, although I do still have "situational" issues now and then.
You'd also do well to "shop around" for a GOOD therapist (Ph.D, MS/LPC) to talk things out...it took me 20 years to find Shelley (a Godsend!), and there should always be a certain "chemistry" between counselor/client.
Think on these things, and get back to us.
You DO have the option of discussing RX with your MD, and may I suggest Serzone and Doxepin...one is anti-anxiety, the other is a tricyclic anti-depressant.
The combination works very well with me, although I do still have "situational" issues now and then.
You'd also do well to "shop around" for a GOOD therapist (Ph.D, MS/LPC) to talk things out...it took me 20 years to find Shelley (a Godsend!), and there should always be a certain "chemistry" between counselor/client.
Think on these things, and get back to us.
0 likes
-
Stephanie
- S2K Supporter
- Posts: 23843
- Age: 63
- Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 9:53 am
- Location: Glassboro, NJ
You'd also do well to "shop around" for a GOOD therapist (Ph.D, MS/LPC) to talk things out...it took me 20 years to find Shelley (a Godsend!), and there should always be a certain "chemistry" between counselor/client.
Definately! You should feel comfortable with your doctor and feel that he/she is always there for you and is willing to listen.
0 likes
-
Skywatch_NC
- Category 5
- Posts: 10949
- Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2003 9:31 pm
- Location: Raleigh, NC
- Contact:
-
Miss Mary
Tim - you've been given good advice here. And found some online friends who've suffered as you're suffering. Take comfort in that. Sorry to all of you that you suffer with depression, I have no experience with this. But I do know it helps to talk to others who've gone thru it. That's a tremendous help. So lean on them and the rest of us Tim. We'll help you thru this.
Mary
Mary
0 likes
-
streetsoldier
- Retired Staff
- Posts: 9705
- Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2003 11:33 pm
- Location: Under the rainbow
Karan,
Cognitive therapy, although it CAN work well for some, doesn't always "do it". In my case (as in many others), my serotonin and norepinephrine uptake is far beyond "cognitive" perameters in its effects if not blocked by adequate Rx.
But in defense of the cognitive approach, may I recommend working with a counselor within the framework of The Courage to Heal Workbook, Laura Davis, Harper & Row (paperback), available at any good bookstore.
Shelley and I did this for over a year (with Rx as a necessary foundation) with excellent results; even now, I refer back to it on the odd occasion for insights.
Cognitive therapy, although it CAN work well for some, doesn't always "do it". In my case (as in many others), my serotonin and norepinephrine uptake is far beyond "cognitive" perameters in its effects if not blocked by adequate Rx.
But in defense of the cognitive approach, may I recommend working with a counselor within the framework of The Courage to Heal Workbook, Laura Davis, Harper & Row (paperback), available at any good bookstore.
Shelley and I did this for over a year (with Rx as a necessary foundation) with excellent results; even now, I refer back to it on the odd occasion for insights.
0 likes
Tim, You are on the road to healing. Seeking professional help and talking about it with others is essential. Prayer is enormous - God's will is for you to be well. "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him" 1 John 5:14-15
You are not alone. And NEVER, NEVER give up! YOU ARE VALUABLE!
Please continue to post updates. You are lifted in prayer to our Lord for your health, your family, and your financial situation.
You are not alone. And NEVER, NEVER give up! YOU ARE VALUABLE!
Please continue to post updates. You are lifted in prayer to our Lord for your health, your family, and your financial situation.
0 likes
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests