People in New England sunbathe.
50F: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
People in New England plant gardens.
40F: Italian & English cars won't start.
People in New England drive with the windows open.
32F: Distilled water freezes.
Maine's Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.
20F: Floridians don fur coats, flannel underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.
15F: New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0F: All the people in Miami die.
New Englanders close the windows.
-10F: Californians fly away to Mexico.
The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.
-25F: Hollywood disintegrates.
People in New England get out their winter coats.
-40F: Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in New England let the dog sleep indoors.
-100F: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
New Englanders get frustrated because they can't start their "kahs".
-460F: All atomic motion stops.
People in New England start saying... "Cold 'nuff for ya?
-500F: Hell freezes over.
The Red Sox win the World Series.
