Two blondes with hammers

[j]

Becky and Sally Ann were doing some carpenter work on a house.

Becky, who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.

Sally Ann, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."

Sally Ann got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!."

[stormraiser]

How, um, thoughtful!!!

[Guest]

DUMB BLONDE JOKE....

[Lindaloo]

Hey ticka, isn't j a blonde? ROFL!!!

[j]

here it comes...

Everybody knows that dumb blonde jokes only apply to women...sheeeeeeshh

[GalvestonDuck]

Oh they do, do they???



A young single blonde guy is on a cruise ship, having the time of his life.
On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins
to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning but
our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last
ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a
remote island.

Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his head
and sees a woman lying near him, unconscious, barely breathing. She's also
managed to wash up on shore from the sinking ship. He makes his way to
her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her breathing
again. She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful and says, "My God, you
saved my life!"

He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford!

Days and weeks go by. Cindy and our guy are living on the island together.
They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the trees, and they're in heaven.
Cindy's fallen madly in love with our man, and they're making passionate
love morning, noon and night.

Alas, one day she notices he's looking kind of glum.
"What's the matter, sweetheart?" she asks, "We have a wonderful life
together, I'm in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there
anything I can do?"

He says, "Actually, Cindy, there is. Would you mind, putting on my shirt?"

"Sure," she says, "if it will help." He takes off his shirt and she puts
it on.

"Now would you put on my pants?" he asks.

"Sure, honey, if it's really going to make you feel better," she says.

"Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your
face?" he asks.

"Whatever you want, sweetie," she says, and does.

Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge of the
island?"

She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the
other direction. They meet up half way around the island a few minutes
later. He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, "Dude!
You'll never believe who I'm sleeping with!"

[GalvestonDuck]

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I’m going to jump off, too." The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch."

[GalvestonDuck]

The sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and see a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots. So the sheriff arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks, "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"

The cowboy says, "Well, it's like this sheriff. I was in the bar down the road and this pretty redhead asks me to go out to her motor home with her...and I did.

We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt...so I did.

Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants...so I did.

Then she pulls of her panties and asks me to pull of my shorts...and I did.

The she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of funny and says, "Now, go to town, Cowboy."

So, here I am.

[GalvestonDuck]

Did you hear about the blonde with the bruised belly-button?

Her boyfriend was blonde, too.

[GalvestonDuck]

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked,cowering on the closet floor.

"You rotten b*stard", says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids."

[j]

ok GD....5 dumb blonde male jokes so far...and 4 out of 5 involve naked women. Those 4 don't count!

[GalvestonDuck]

Sure they do.

I can't post all of them. The language might be too harsh.

[Lindaloo]

ROFL!!! Get him Duck. And who says the blonde jokes only apply to women? NOT!!

[Guest]

http://www.storm2k.org/weather/Memgal4.html

Now he's a true blonde....Go get'em duck...To J: blonde jokes galore...

Ladies...you agree he's blonde right????

Comments welcome

[Skywatch_NC]

So glad my hair is dark brown!

Eric

[Lindaloo]

DEFINTELY looks like a blonde to me ticka!! LOL!!

[JCT777]

I'm blonde, and I think blonde jokes are hysterical. I say if you can't laugh at yourself, then you don't have a good sense of humor.

[j]

Now I know how a goldfish feels being dropped into a tank full of Piranha.

Its a feeding frenzy!

[Lindaloo]

It is about time you realized you can't win. hehe.

[CaptinCrunch]

My wife would love these....she's blonde