The Cafeteria Lady—Spring Cleaning Time, Again. . . Already?

[southerngale]

The Cafeteria Lady — Spring Cleaning Time, Again . . . Already?
by Martha Bolton


It’s spring and that means it’s time to start cleaning out some of those places you may have let pile up through the winter months. So, as a public service to Brio readers, here are a few tips on how you can know which area of your life might need the most immediate help.
You know cleaning time is long overdue in your room . . .
• if the milk in the glass on your nightstand matches the green in your comforter.
• if you catch your little brother tobogganing down your dirty clothes pile and you join him.
• if you’ve written more than three phone messages in the dust on your dresser.
• if you can hang ornaments from the cobwebs draping across your walls.

You know cleaning under your bed is the most crucial . . .
• if the dust balls have calcified and are large enough to bowl with.
• if there’s a “No Vacancy” sign on your roach motel for more than
three consecutive nights.
• if your mattress is starting to bulge upward.
• if there’s a glow coming from something in a fast-food bag.

You know your closet needs to be cleaned before anything else . . .
• if opening the door endangers everyone within a three-mile radius.
• if the moths are complaining about claustrophobia.
• if it takes mountain- climbing gear to work your way up to the top shelf.
• if you need a search and rescue team to find your cat who wandered in there four days ago.

You know your locker needs to be the first on your list . . .
• if more than three buzzards are circling it.
• if you can’t tell whether the sandwich that was left in there was tuna or peanut butter and jelly. (Especially because it looks more like tuna and jelly.)
• if you try to fold your gym shorts and they break in half.
• if you need the help of the varsity football team to close it.
• if it’s like a 24-hour Wal-Mart. It can’t close either.

[HurricaneGirl]

• if there’s a “No Vacancy” sign on your roach motel for more than
three consecutive nights.