A good wife

[j]

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

[mf_dolphin]

It's been nice knowing you J

[GalvestonDuck]

Now the updated version.

1.Have dinner ready: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been crappy and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.
2.Prepare yourself: A quick stop at the "LANCOME" counter on your way home will do wonders for your outlook and will keep you from becoming irritated every time he belches at the table. (Don't forget to use his credit card!)
3.Clear away the clutter: Call the housekeeper and let her know you'll need her for an extra day this week. Tell her that any miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed in the Goodwill box in the garage.
4.Prepare the children: Drop them off at grandma's!
5.Minimize the noise: When he arrives at home remind him that the washer and garbage disposal are still not working properly and the noise is driving you crazy (but do this in a nice way and greet him with a warm smile.this way he might fix it faster).
6.Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Simply remind him that the last one home does the cooking and the cleanup.
7.Make him comfortable: Remind him where he can find a warm fuzzy blanket if he's cold. This will really show you care.
8.Listen to him: But don't ever let him get the last word.
9.Make the evening his: A chance to get the washer and garbage disposal fixed.
10.The Goal: To try to keep things amicable without reminding him that you make more money than he does.

[vbhoutex]

Leave it to Duck to "set things right"(at least in the eyes of a few).!!!!

J call us from your hiding place!!!!LOL!!!!

[Amanzi]

Way to to Duck!!!!!!!!

j.. come out come out where ever you are!!!!! So I can thump ya on the pip

[Skywatch_NC]

Good for you, J!

*Eric RUNS for cover lol!*

[Amanzi]

Eric you want a pip thumpin too???

LOL.. you can run but you cant hide.. you know its only a short time until Linda reads this dont you and then your in HUGE trouble

[j]

Linda actually asked me to post some tips on being a good wife. I was only too happy.

[southerngale]

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

Someone take the bottle away from him. He's starting to hallucinate. *smacks j*

[mf_dolphin]

I doubt that was what she had in mind!

[furluvcats]

Go go Duckie...hopefully you helped smack j right out of his delusional world and back into reality... :O)

[stormraiser]

LOL, I'm going to print it up and give it to my wife.

[southerngale]

LOL, I'm going to print it up and give it to my wife.

Ok, which hospital do you use so I can send flowers?

[mf_dolphin]

It's been nice knowing you too Stormraiser. I hear a cold front is heading toward your bedroom tonight!

[stormraiser]

LOL Actually, I have a very sweet wife who stays at home and takes care of the house. She would take it as a joke. But she also wants to make me happy

[Stephanie]

Ah yes, j, my buddy, my friend, my pal -

What's your wife's name and does she have an e-mail address???

Duckie - That one's outta here!!!

[GalvestonDuck]

Linda actually asked me to post some tips on being a good wife. I was only too happy.

I doubt she needed help. Besides, you could have looked a little further.

Proverbs 31:

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Then again, what do I know about marriage?

[Skywatch_NC]

Eric you want a pip thumpin too???

LOL.. you can run but you cant hide.. you know its only a short time until Linda reads this dont you and then your in HUGE trouble

I was in the Fun and Games Forum earlier...how often does Linda stop by there? Hehe

[streetsoldier]

Could anyone here tell me where to find one like that?

[mf_dolphin]

How about the Dark Ages Bill?