How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim or Remarkable Roger, or ......
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......
20. Send this list to everyone in your email address book, even if they sent it to you or asked you not to send them stuff like this.
PLEASE DON'T SEND THIS BACK TO ME!!!!
Passing On Good Advice
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southerngale
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Passing On Good Advice
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streetsoldier
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mf_dolphin
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That list is great! I received a list like that a while back. Here are some additions:
1. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
2. In the memo field of all your paychecks, write 'for sexual favors'.
3. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.'
4. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
5. Insist that your e-mail address be zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com
6. Suggest that the Coke machine be filled with beer.
7. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
8. Determine how many cups of coffee is 'too many'.
9. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
10. For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel. If no one notices, ditch the snorkel and see how many fish you can catch in your mouth.
11. Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."
12. When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.
13. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
14. Practice making fax and modem noises.
15. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
16. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
17. Stomp on plastic ketchup packets.
18. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
19. type only in lowercase.
20. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc them to your boss.
1. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
2. In the memo field of all your paychecks, write 'for sexual favors'.
3. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.'
4. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.
5. Insist that your e-mail address be zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com
6. Suggest that the Coke machine be filled with beer.
7. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
8. Determine how many cups of coffee is 'too many'.
9. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
10. For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and snorkel. If no one notices, ditch the snorkel and see how many fish you can catch in your mouth.
11. Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."
12. When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.
13. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
14. Practice making fax and modem noises.
15. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
16. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
17. Stomp on plastic ketchup packets.
18. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
19. type only in lowercase.
20. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc them to your boss.
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southerngale
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ROFLOL! Thanks for the additions JCT777
I really like #11. Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."
I really like #11. Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."
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