Feeling sad

[TazzyD]

I know you all don't know me, but my hubby is asleep while I'm watching the progress of Ivan on tv and the internet, and I'm feeling sad over that, worrying about my stepbrother and his family down there, and feeling sad because today, actually I guess since it's after midnight, is the one year mark since my mother died of ovarian cancer. It's been a rough 12 months. Two weeks before my mother died my sister was also diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer (she's now stage 4) and she's had many operations and rounds of chemo treatments. I guess it's just one those years that not much seems to go right. Anyway, anyone feel like giving a stranger a cyberhug and a prayer for my sis?

[Miss Mary]

Tazzy, of course I'll give you a cyber hug. Your family has had a very rough year. The first anniversary and subsequent holidays without a parent is very hard to get thru. I lost my dad to cancer also, in 1988. I had many, many weepy days. I would suggest that you allow yourself to feel sad, try not to keep the sad feelings inside but get them out. Cry, vent, write in a journal, something. Then in time after you cry, hopefully the sad feelings will be replaced with happy memories. That's how it began for my brothers and me. We'd feel so sad without our dad but in time, could actually laugh telling funny stories. Remember this time, that time.....having siblings does help. I'm so sorry to hear your sister has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer also. That's a double whammy - your mom and then your sister. No wonder you feel so sad. And I'm sure you're now worried also - have you been followed closely by your GYN - pelvic exams, ultrasounds, CA125 blood tests? I certainly hope so. I'm a colon cancer survivor (what my father died from also). Our diagnoses were 11 years apart though, not close like your mother and sister's. I occasionally have benign ovarian cysts pop up, and have had all 3 above tests I mentioned. I'm fine, until I enter menopause they say. Since I had colon cancer, I have a slightly higher risk of ovarian or other cancers developing.

So yes in a very wordy way, I will most certainly give you a hug. If you'd like, you can also PM me here. If you need to vent more. I know how devastating that C word can be - it completely turns your world upside down and unless cancer has personally touched you or a close family member or friend, you can't quite possibly know exactly what this feels like. Others will have a good idea as to how you're feeling but having gone thru what you are right now, I know full well how sad it can all be.

What is your sister's first name? I'll add her to my prayers.
Mary

[NWIASpotter]

Anytime TazzyD. Storm2k will always give prayers for people and cyberhugs, we are basically a community.

[iluvseashore]

Hugs!!!!

I feel your pain truly. I lost my mother when I was 19 to Colon Cancer that had spread to her ovaries. She had a very advanced case and battled with it for 2 years of multiple surgeries as well as chemo and radiation. It is still hard 17 years later without her but it will get better for you. The first few years are the hardest. In time you still hurt but its alot more managable. I will pray for your sister as well. I will also pray for you to have better days ahead.

May I suggest a book for you? It was a gift I received from a friend about a year after my mom died. It is somewhat difficult to read at first but if you work through it you will find that you are definanly not alone and that all of your feelings are very much validated and even why. The author interviewed 100 or so women who lost their mothers at different stages of their lives. It made me feel much better knowing that I wasn't the only one who felt the way I did and even how to overcome my grief.

Book Titled Motherless Daughters:The Legacy of Loss
Written by Hope Edelmon

I just saw it on Amazon. It should be in most bookstores locally as well. Very popular book.

If you ever need a shoulder feel free to email me directly. I am here anytime.

[iluvseashore]

Forgot to add...........the journal is a GREAT idea it really does help.

[Guest]

Tazzy, your sister is in my prayers. I can't begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling. I'm also going to pray for you to have strength. May God Bless you.
...Jennifer...

[azsnowman]

Of course Tazz! Here's a HUGE OL' GRIZZLY SNOWMAN HUG {{{{{{HUG}}}}}}

Dennis

[David]

I love hugs!!!! Here's one for you!

*HUGS!*

[TazzyD]

Thanks everyone....for "listening". It was a rough day yesterday but today is better. My stepbrother and his family survived Ivan, as did their house. He sent his wife and kids to his mother's house in Indy and stayed in his house in Milton, Florida. He said there were no leaves left on the trees, branches down, lots of water, but the house wasn't damaged. He was going to pick up debris around his place then go help the neighbors with theirs.

I talked with my sis and she is feeling as well as can be expected right now. She'll be going through yet another chemo treatment soon. She's already had several rounds and several surgeries. At one point she was doing so very poorly.....having hallucinations, babbling, incoherent....that they thought the cancer had gone to her brain and wanted her to get back home and get her affairs in order. Her husband had another theory. He insisted that they were over medicating her with the morphine and pretty much demanded the cut the dosages down. It worked. Found had she actually HAD been over medicated and the cancer has not spread to her brain. So that was a good thing. She's feeling a bit stronger now, too.

Miss Mary, my sister's name is Sue.

Thank you all so much for the kind words, prayers and hugs, especially a nice cold cyber hug from a snowman! I'll also be sure to check out the book suggestion.

I spent yesterday think a lot about Mom and will be going to take some flowers to her grave this coming weekend.

You're all just great! Thank you! Hugs to you all!

Tazz

[iluvseashore]

Glad to hear today is better for you and your family. Will keep praying for your sister.

[Pburgh]

Tazzy, my heart goes out to you. Feel free to come here anytime for hugs. I'll keep you and your sister on my prayer list. ((((Hugs))))
Take care my friend
Karan

[azsnowman]

No, no....my hugs aren't cold, in fact, I've got a VERY warm heart for a snowman! Ditto.......I'm SO glad to hear things are looking up and there's a smile in your heart, however small it might be!

Dennis

[azskyman]

Strange how sometimes we feel good enough, strong enough, to tackle anything that comes our way. Other times an extra dose of pain and suffering around us just buckle our knees and take away our energies.

Leaning on people who have some strength of heart, some soft words of compassion, or just some shoulders to rest upon is a need we all have from time to time. Tazzy...I hope the words of these folks here can help you in your time of need.

I was still in a rebuilding mode after my return from Vietnam when my mom was taken from us. There was no chance for a real goodbye. Never did we expect to lose her. Not then. Not without telling her we were expecting our first child. Still...the night gently took her from us.

I can't begin to comprehend the difficulty you and your family are facing. I know only that there is opportunity even in the darkest of times. Smiles mean more. Hands seem more important to hold. Gentle conversations, even less than a minute or two, take on new meaning.

None of us know what life's next turn will be.

Find the strength, take the time, and make it a priority to assure your sister how special she is...and how you will always be her sister. No one and nothing will make that change.

You are a special person. We can see that without ever knowing you...and across the miles.

We are pulling for you, praying for your family, and know that the time you have together these days will surely allow you to enjoy and laugh and appreciate all the time you have ahead...however long that might be.

A special prayer was said at this keyboard here in the desert. May God's light shine warmly.

[TazzyD]

Bless you, azskyman. Your eloquent words truly touched my heart and I thank you very much for the prayer. Everyone's responses here remind me that that no matter how bad things seem in life sometimes, there is SO much good to be appreciated and so many good people in this world. I've always heard since I was a little girl that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. I think there is truth to that but I have no doubt it's because the prayers and kind words of others provide so much support. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!