Can someone explain more about Asperger's to me?
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Can someone explain more about Asperger's to me?
I read a few people on the board have it, but I dont know much about it. See I have had ADD all my life"will be 21 soon" but this head Dr I'm seeing now said I have some symptoms of OCD, and Asperger's. he said OCd is very common with ADD. Anyways he said I should go and see a Phycologist and see what she says. He asked me things like if I have a girlfriend which I have never had one. Although I could if I wanted to. Like at work there is this really cute and polite girl who always talks to me , but she goes away to college in the fall, so I wont see her until Xmas break. Problem is I get too nervous to talk to her more and get to know her to get any friendship started cause I freeze up. Is there ways that could help me cope with this? Ironic when I talk to older people then me, Family members, or people I know I'm really talkative, but when it comes so let's say females around my age I'm like kinda scared. So is this a common problem with Aspergers's patients? I dont want to be single all my life, but I'm just not happy.
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LAwxrgal
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Asperger's syndrome is considered a milder form of autism. It is generally the form that allows for communication (although persons with Asperger's often have social difficulties) whereas many sufferers of classic autism do not have linguistic skills whatsoever. Yes Asperger's sufferers do have difficulties with romantic relationships and many never marry, although some do. Some Aspergers people marry other Aspergers people, sometimes dubbed "Aspies."
http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=asperg ... ABAA%40%40
http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=asperg ... ABAA%40%40
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Asperger's Syndrome is a high-functioning form
of autism. Although I can't explain it as well as
those who actually live with it day-to-day, here
is a link, as well:
http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/aswhatisit.html
also:
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/health_and_medical/disorders/asperger_doc.htm
Hope that helps!
of autism. Although I can't explain it as well as
those who actually live with it day-to-day, here
is a link, as well:
http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/aswhatisit.html
also:
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/health_and_medical/disorders/asperger_doc.htm
Hope that helps!
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Miss Mary
Charleycat4 - we'll keep this topic active because you're certainly not alone, if you are diagnosed with it. We have several, active very nice members right here at Storm2K who have Asberger's. I'm sure in time one of them will come forward to give you more info.
My daughter Laura, now 14 and a Freshman in HS this year, was diagnosed with ADD in 6th Grade. What's confusing to some people is there is a difference between ADD and ADHD! While both disorders are similar and receive good results with similar medications, ADD patients are not hyper. Laura had always struggled in school and would fling her report card on the floor each semester declaring - I'm just a C kid. She had difficulty concentrating and needed extended testing times. Thankfully her 6th Grade teachers had serioius concerns back then and strongly encouraged us to have her tested. It was diagnosed and we had a difficult decision to make. Our Pediatrician compared her need for Ritalin to someone without ADD/ADHD to needing a cup of coffee in the morning. Her medication clears the fog he said. We've changed her meds a few times and even tried Straterra for a 2 month span, which was like taking a placebo for her. We realized that she does need a stimulant type medication to perform her best in a school setting. Arriving at this decision and realization wasn't easy! First time I filled her Rx I walked away with Speed in my hand! That is when it hit me big time - OMG this isn't a regular Rx such as an antibiotic! But I'd have to say it has really helped her and she is only on medication for a real school day - end of the year or field trips? We skip it then. And always on weekends and summer/school breaks.
Sometimes I wonder if I even have it! Her Pediatrician said it runs in families and if you could see my cluttered, project after project started but not finished, you may agree with me! We have many monthly medications for the entire family and each one is a $30 copay. So cha-ching, I think I'll just drink my coffee and hope that clears my head!
Mary
My daughter Laura, now 14 and a Freshman in HS this year, was diagnosed with ADD in 6th Grade. What's confusing to some people is there is a difference between ADD and ADHD! While both disorders are similar and receive good results with similar medications, ADD patients are not hyper. Laura had always struggled in school and would fling her report card on the floor each semester declaring - I'm just a C kid. She had difficulty concentrating and needed extended testing times. Thankfully her 6th Grade teachers had serioius concerns back then and strongly encouraged us to have her tested. It was diagnosed and we had a difficult decision to make. Our Pediatrician compared her need for Ritalin to someone without ADD/ADHD to needing a cup of coffee in the morning. Her medication clears the fog he said. We've changed her meds a few times and even tried Straterra for a 2 month span, which was like taking a placebo for her. We realized that she does need a stimulant type medication to perform her best in a school setting. Arriving at this decision and realization wasn't easy! First time I filled her Rx I walked away with Speed in my hand! That is when it hit me big time - OMG this isn't a regular Rx such as an antibiotic! But I'd have to say it has really helped her and she is only on medication for a real school day - end of the year or field trips? We skip it then. And always on weekends and summer/school breaks.
Sometimes I wonder if I even have it! Her Pediatrician said it runs in families and if you could see my cluttered, project after project started but not finished, you may agree with me! We have many monthly medications for the entire family and each one is a $30 copay. So cha-ching, I think I'll just drink my coffee and hope that clears my head!
Mary
Last edited by Miss Mary on Fri Sep 17, 2004 5:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Guest
LAwxrgal wrote:Asperger's syndrome is considered a milder form of autism. It is generally the form that allows for communication (although persons with Asperger's often have social difficulties) whereas many sufferers of classic autism do not have linguistic skills whatsoever. Yes Asperger's sufferers do have difficulties with romantic relationships and many never marry, although some do. Some Aspergers people marry other Aspergers people, sometimes dubbed "Aspies."
http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=asperg ... ABAA%40%40
So other words that means I might never have a gf or wife?
I think that could be why I have troubles finding a gf. I dont go to college right now so that doesnt help the girl part. At work like I said there is a nice girl there whos very polite and I like, but I was too scared to ask her out or tell her my feelings. I'm also worried cause I dont want to be like 30 and still a virgin.
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Guest
Miss Mary wrote:Charleycat4 - we'll keep this topic active because you're certainly not alone, if you are diagnosed with it. We have several, active very nice members right here at Storm2K who have Asberger's. I'm sure in time one of them will come forward to give you more info.
Mary
I noticed that also. When my mom told the head Doc about how when I was a small child I was OCD about the weather. I'm more concerned at this point about my social problems. Cause like I stated I dont want to be a 30 yr old and never had a gf. Something the Doctor found as a red flag.
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LAwxrgal
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Charleycat4 wrote:So other words that means I might never have a gf or wife?
It's certainly possible that you will find a GF or wife, there are many Aspergers or "Aspies" that do marry and marry happily.
Cheer up.
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Andrew 92/Isidore & Lili 02/Bill 03/Katrina & Rita 05/Gustav & Ike 08/Isaac 12 (flooded my house)/Harvey 17/Barry 19/Cristobal 20/Claudette 21/Ida 21 (In the Eye)/Francine 24
Wake me up when November ends
Wake me up when November ends
Charleycat4, that doesn't mean that you WILL
never marry, friend. There are mild forms of
this condition, and, more severe forms. Having
problems socializing on what one may term a
"normal" (what is normal, anyway?) scale DOES
apply to Asperger's. There ARE folks who have
overcome that, and, if I can find a link that I
used to have bookmarked relating to one
gentleman that actually DID that, and, became
a public speaker, as well, I'll post it, ok?
never marry, friend. There are mild forms of
this condition, and, more severe forms. Having
problems socializing on what one may term a
"normal" (what is normal, anyway?) scale DOES
apply to Asperger's. There ARE folks who have
overcome that, and, if I can find a link that I
used to have bookmarked relating to one
gentleman that actually DID that, and, became
a public speaker, as well, I'll post it, ok?
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Guest
LAwxrgal wrote:Charleycat4 wrote:So other words that means I might never have a gf or wife?
It's certainly possible that you will find a GF or wife, there are many Aspergers or "Aspies" that do marry and marry happily.
But I dont want to marry someone who has mental probs ect. I just want a normal gf. I will admit though my standards are high, but dont all guys like hot women?
Just I want to know how I can be less nervous so I can have a easier time getting a girlfriend.
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Guest
What's interesting is that alot of people who have Aspergers has alot of interest in weather. Maybe thats why forecasters who work at lets say NHC and other more educated Doctors in the field seem to not have alot of personality. I heard someone else say something similar one time. With all the education involved in working someplace like NHC, SPC ect you have to be that dedicated. I'm a weather nut but my terrible math skills would not allow me to get a degree in that field. I was thinking Computers or maybe computers in the law enforcement field.
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ColdFront77
Hi Charleycat4! I am one of the few members of this great site that has Asperger's Syndrome.
You seem to understand at least a little bit about it.
.
Check out this thread, an article you may find interesting and a bit of discussion by board members
LAwxrgal wrote:Asperger's syndrome is considered a milder form of autism. It is generally the form that allows for communication (although persons with Asperger's often have social difficulties) whereas many sufferers of classic autism do not have linguistic skills whatsoever. Yes Asperger's sufferers do have difficulties with romantic relationships and many never marry, although some do. Some Aspergers people marry other Aspergers people, sometimes dubbed "Aspies."
http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=asperg ... ABAA%40%40
You seem to understand at least a little bit about it.
.
Check out this thread, an article you may find interesting and a bit of discussion by board members
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Guest
Thanks Tom. I found another article regarding relationships and Aspergers. Im kinda worried I wont have a decent and hot looking one. Article I found.
Dating Issues
There are places on the net that suggest that people with Asperger's Syndrome are able to function on a normal level, date, marry, and have families. I have stated in the definition of Asperger's Syndrome that the divorce rate remains high for people who are diagnosed with it. A very small number of people with Asperger's Syndrome are able to successfully date, marry, and raise families. Most of those individuals don't actually have the diagnosis. Instead, the medical community often considers them to be "autism cousins" or "cousins of Autism", meaning that they don't fit the criteria for a diagnosis, but have a scant few minor traits of the disorder. This section is not about those people. The sad fact is: relationships and dating are virtually non-existent for people with the actual diagnosis.
Usually, people develop the ability to make friends by the time they are 6 years of age and start more serious relationships by the time they are 13. On most occasions, the patient with Asperger's Syndrome has not even started a serious friendship with the opposite sex before the age of 30, if ever. For the most part, this makes a marriage or family highly unlikely for them. An added burden here are economic factors related to the inability to hold down employment, which serves to make the individual less of a candidate for a permanent relationship.
A characteristic that many people have with Asperger's, is what is called an "extended adolescence" throughout adulthood. In my case, I was not able to understand why a couple in their late 20s would get together to marry and start a family. It defies logic for many people with the disorder, when they have never had a relationship that has any seriousness. And, when they try to start one, they end up in some form of trouble with an authority figure due to the other person taking offense. This has happened to me before. Most of them will never have a girlfriend or boyfriend. The very small number who do manage to find a "special" relationship will often fail in marriage.
A part of the whole issue involves the lack of ability to use and understand unspoken body language. The ability to interpret eye contact may be there, yet the person with Asperger's Syndrome might not be giving the right message or signals. In order for the recipient to get the correct message, the person with Asperger's Syndrome often has to state the message directly, and the recipient has to give a direct response. If read the wrong way, the message ends up getting lost or misinterpreted. For the recipient to understand someone with Asperger's, they have to pick apart every thing the sender is trying to say because the sender might not have the capability to use the correct gestures. This in itself will set someone up for failure in a relationship just about every time, unless the person sought has a very high degree of compassion and understanding.
Another factor in relationship issues is the actual experience a person with Asperger's Syndrome has in trying to achieve close relationships and friendships. Often, the person "courted" gets offended, and will end up taking the issue to someone in authority. That superior will approach the person with Asperger's in a threatening manner, causing the person with Asperger's to have to break off the relationship or any communication with the recipient. Then, at an older age, the person with Asperger's will very likely remember negative experiences in the past, and may lash out against peers who try to get to know them better. Often, this can lead to police calls and restraining orders if the individual is not careful. At this point, most people with Asperger's Syndrome are prudent enough to realize that interventions with others will land them in trouble, and will seek to find activities that will enable them to communicate indirectly with others. Some work on hobbies and industries that keep their interests engaged, and others will find jobs and activities that will not require them to work directly with others. At an older age, the dating becomes less and less important while fulfilling a life's mission receives more attention.
Dating Issues
There are places on the net that suggest that people with Asperger's Syndrome are able to function on a normal level, date, marry, and have families. I have stated in the definition of Asperger's Syndrome that the divorce rate remains high for people who are diagnosed with it. A very small number of people with Asperger's Syndrome are able to successfully date, marry, and raise families. Most of those individuals don't actually have the diagnosis. Instead, the medical community often considers them to be "autism cousins" or "cousins of Autism", meaning that they don't fit the criteria for a diagnosis, but have a scant few minor traits of the disorder. This section is not about those people. The sad fact is: relationships and dating are virtually non-existent for people with the actual diagnosis.
Usually, people develop the ability to make friends by the time they are 6 years of age and start more serious relationships by the time they are 13. On most occasions, the patient with Asperger's Syndrome has not even started a serious friendship with the opposite sex before the age of 30, if ever. For the most part, this makes a marriage or family highly unlikely for them. An added burden here are economic factors related to the inability to hold down employment, which serves to make the individual less of a candidate for a permanent relationship.
A characteristic that many people have with Asperger's, is what is called an "extended adolescence" throughout adulthood. In my case, I was not able to understand why a couple in their late 20s would get together to marry and start a family. It defies logic for many people with the disorder, when they have never had a relationship that has any seriousness. And, when they try to start one, they end up in some form of trouble with an authority figure due to the other person taking offense. This has happened to me before. Most of them will never have a girlfriend or boyfriend. The very small number who do manage to find a "special" relationship will often fail in marriage.
A part of the whole issue involves the lack of ability to use and understand unspoken body language. The ability to interpret eye contact may be there, yet the person with Asperger's Syndrome might not be giving the right message or signals. In order for the recipient to get the correct message, the person with Asperger's Syndrome often has to state the message directly, and the recipient has to give a direct response. If read the wrong way, the message ends up getting lost or misinterpreted. For the recipient to understand someone with Asperger's, they have to pick apart every thing the sender is trying to say because the sender might not have the capability to use the correct gestures. This in itself will set someone up for failure in a relationship just about every time, unless the person sought has a very high degree of compassion and understanding.
Another factor in relationship issues is the actual experience a person with Asperger's Syndrome has in trying to achieve close relationships and friendships. Often, the person "courted" gets offended, and will end up taking the issue to someone in authority. That superior will approach the person with Asperger's in a threatening manner, causing the person with Asperger's to have to break off the relationship or any communication with the recipient. Then, at an older age, the person with Asperger's will very likely remember negative experiences in the past, and may lash out against peers who try to get to know them better. Often, this can lead to police calls and restraining orders if the individual is not careful. At this point, most people with Asperger's Syndrome are prudent enough to realize that interventions with others will land them in trouble, and will seek to find activities that will enable them to communicate indirectly with others. Some work on hobbies and industries that keep their interests engaged, and others will find jobs and activities that will not require them to work directly with others. At an older age, the dating becomes less and less important while fulfilling a life's mission receives more attention.
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azskyman
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Charleycat...I knew little about Aspergers until I was asked to tutor one-on-one with a young lad named John who had it.
The director at the center said I would be the perfect person to work with John because of my quiet nature, my compassionate personality, and, in her words, my "almost saintlike patience."
John was about 9 then....and I spent the next five or six months working with him a few times a week.
I learned that Aspergers is real, but I learned that John was real too. What a wonderful young boy in there!! We would laugh, we would work, or we would just sit and be frustrated together. Mostly, I learned that John was fighting a battle, for sure, but he was every bit as real of a young boy as any other at the learning center.
He was capable of anger, frustration, moments of brilliance, and he was capable of sadness, love, and caring.
Aspergers may shake your confidence and instill fear in who you are and how you think others might see you...but like John, I'm sure that all those who are challenged by it are also very capable of relationships with people who let them in.
I miss seeing John and often wonder how he is doing.
My best wishes to you in search of all the good things that life can offer.
The director at the center said I would be the perfect person to work with John because of my quiet nature, my compassionate personality, and, in her words, my "almost saintlike patience."
John was about 9 then....and I spent the next five or six months working with him a few times a week.
I learned that Aspergers is real, but I learned that John was real too. What a wonderful young boy in there!! We would laugh, we would work, or we would just sit and be frustrated together. Mostly, I learned that John was fighting a battle, for sure, but he was every bit as real of a young boy as any other at the learning center.
He was capable of anger, frustration, moments of brilliance, and he was capable of sadness, love, and caring.
Aspergers may shake your confidence and instill fear in who you are and how you think others might see you...but like John, I'm sure that all those who are challenged by it are also very capable of relationships with people who let them in.
I miss seeing John and often wonder how he is doing.
My best wishes to you in search of all the good things that life can offer.
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ColdFront77
Charleycat4 wrote:Cold Front do you take any medications for your condition? My Dr just put me on something called "Lexapro" I was off meds for years.
No, I strongly feel I don't need medication for my AS. I understand it is mainly for the associated problems with the syndrome.
I also don't want to get dependent on a medication that could actually make me worse on my lean body. In addition, I break out in hives if I take ibuprofen.
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ColdFront77 wrote:Charleycat4 wrote:Cold Front do you take any medications for your condition? My Dr just put me on something called "Lexapro" I was off meds for years.
No, I strongly feel I don't need medication for my AS. I understand it is mainly for the associated problems with the syndrome.
I also don't want to get dependent on a medication that could actually make me worse on my lean body. In addition, I break out in hives if I take ibuprofen.
Yes. This med Im on has had no side effects on me. The doc said they have test for it or something. So how would they work with me on my social skills? I mean I dont have a problem talking with people, or chicks just that Im a little shy.
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weatherlover427
I also have Asperger's Syndrome and autism. I was diagnosed with it at the age of 14 1/2; in December of 1996.
I have only had one girlfriend so far, but that is my own fault; not one that I would blame on the syndrome.
Part of my behaviors are that I obsess about water-related things. I also like the weather a lot (as we all know
) and in addition, I make some funny noises. 
I have only had one girlfriend so far, but that is my own fault; not one that I would blame on the syndrome.
Part of my behaviors are that I obsess about water-related things. I also like the weather a lot (as we all know
) and in addition, I make some funny noises.
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Joshua21Young wrote:I also have Asperger's Syndrome and autism. I was diagnosed with it at the age of 14 1/2; in December of 1996.
I have only had one girlfriend so far, but that is my own fault; not one that I would blame on the syndrome.
Part of my behaviors are that I obsess about water-related things. I also like the weather a lot (as we all know
hey, at least you had one
I have had none. My standards are high on looks. I've liked the ex since I was like 3 or so. Living in Missouri I was obsessed with tornadoes all the time. Moving to Florida I became obsessed with hurricanes. I remember I'd make my grandma draw me pictures of tornadoes and hurricanes to play with 
Of Other things I obsesse about is sports. I dont know if a chick would like it looking at weather sites all day long. that would bore them I bet.
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weatherlover427
I don't go as much for looks (but those are still somewhat important obviously). You also have to look at what is inside that counts. I'm sure that you don't want a girl who's hot as heck but is a real *ahem* inside, if you know what I mean. Or if it's the other way around.
My ex g/f just happened upon me when I really wasn't expecting it. One day I was cool, and the next - there she was. The relationship lasted about two months, and since the beginning of March I haven't heard another word from her.
It depends on the girl really; what she likes and what she doesn't like. Most girls like shopping and other girl things. Guys like guy things - sports, cars, working with tools, etc. But then there are the ones who like a bit of other things, so to speak.
Or if it's the other way around.
My ex g/f just happened upon me when I really wasn't expecting it. One day I was cool, and the next - there she was. The relationship lasted about two months, and since the beginning of March I haven't heard another word from her.
It depends on the girl really; what she likes and what she doesn't like. Most girls like shopping and other girl things. Guys like guy things - sports, cars, working with tools, etc. But then there are the ones who like a bit of other things, so to speak.
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Joshua21Young wrote:I don't go as much for looks (but those are still somewhat important obviously). You also have to look at what is inside that counts. I'm sure that you don't want a girl who's hot as heck but is a real *ahem* inside, if you know what I mean.
My ex g/f just happened upon me when I really wasn't expecting it. One day I was cool, and the next - there she was. The relationship lasted about two months, and since the beginning of March I haven't heard another word from her.
It depends on the girl really; what she likes and what she doesn't like. Most girls like shopping and other girl things. Guys like guy things - sports, cars, working with tools, etc. But then there are the ones who like a bit of other things, so to speak.
True. This chick at work I like, but shes away at college and wont be back until Dec. Shes really nice and all, but I was too nervous to ask her out. She was hot too!
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