I feel down and need to talk :(

[Josephine96]

I've actually felt pretty good all week.. except now I'm feeling kinda down..

Please don't blast me but I have a strange feeling right now..

As you all know.. I could go back to work as early as Thurs. or Friday of next week,. as you also know 12/13 was the last day I worked.. As you also know.. 1 of my bosses apparently suffered a guilt trip because the night of the accident, I thought she was mad at me when I left..

Anyway.. Here's the thing that's making me feel down.. I have the strange feeling that as much as they love care and adore me, I feel like I owe an apology to my coworkers..

I feel like I let them down for some reason.. they really needed me during the X-mas rush, but because I crashed on a bike, I wasn't there.. I also feel bad because I let 1 of my loving, caring bosses worry about me over something silly #1 {the thought she was mad or whatever} and then #2. my accident

I probably am making a stupid assumption by saying I need to apologize lol.. but I don't know..

[Stephanie]

Actually, most dedicated workers usually feel some guilt for being out sick, on vacation, etc. I was off from work on Monday to take care of somethings and felt the same way. You couldn't have prevented what had happened, it just did. HOWEVER, I know that if I was in the same situation, I would feel the same way as you do now and probably tell them that I was sorry I wasn't around to help them during that time, just for the sake of courtesy and respect. Just DON'T beat yourself up about it.

[Josephine96]

Thank you Stephanie.. and yes I am quite dedicated to my work.. I plan on maybe telling them I'm sorry I wasn't there when I go back.. I also know I could not have prevented my accident.. I'm just feeling kinda icky now..

[coriolis]

Josephine, try to imagine how you'd feel if that happened to a co-worker. You'd be concerned. You'd tell them that getting better is more important than work. You'd have all sorts of encouraging things to say to them. Just turn the thoughts around and apply them to yourself!

[The Big Dog]

I doubt anyone at work thinks you shot yourself in the foot, so to speak, to avoid the Christmas rush. You're just a conscientious worker -- you know where you should have been during the holidays, but circumstances wouldn't allow it. I wish there were more in the world who took their responsibilities as seriously as you apparently do.

If you think it would make you feel better, discuss with your boss how bad you feel about missing the holiday rush. See how that goes. Perhaps ask if there's any way that you can make it up to them. I wouldn't apologize -- it doesn't sound like you have anything to apologize for.

My guess is that they'll just be happy to see you and you'll be King for a Day.

[Josephine96]

Big Dog.. you're probably right.. I feel like a king everytime I've gone to visit because they all seem ecstatic to see me.. I also will plan on talking to my boss about how bad I felt about missing the X-mas rush thing..

Thank you for the words of encouragement guys.. I could use them..

[Guest]

Hey, John,

Don't be a "NEWeatherguy"! In other words, I do similar things like this to myself. I feel guilty when I don't feel well and can't make it to work ( rare; the last time I was sick was Dec 2003!, plus I only work two days a week).

Chances are, as other members have responded, everyone will welcome you back with open arms; not just because you are there to help, but also the fact you are okay.

[rainstorm]

dont worry about it. 99% of worry is needless

[DaylilyDawn]

I felt the same way after my cancer was removed. I felt fine physically but the Dr's wouldn't let me go back to work for 6 weeks. I didn't do any heavy lifting or anything like that but he still wouldn't let me go back. It wasn't your fault you got hurt, it was an accident. There is no one to blame .So do not beat yourself up over it. Just get better and when you are released to go back to work that feeling will go away for good.

[Guest]

dont worry about it. 99% of worry is needless

With me, it is more like 99.999% But yeah, I am with you there, RS!

[GulfBreezer]

Sounds like FEAR to me............
False Expectations Appearing Real!

Worry is also a waste of mental energy. It is all beyond your control and being dedicated like you are can make you feel unnecessary guilt when you are unable to complete or continue a job. Don't beat yourself up!!

[Josephine96]

Thank you for all the kind words guys.. and you're right about worrying being a waste of mental energy.. I just feel bad because I missed the last 12 days before Christmas and because they're itching for me to get back but they know and I know I can't come back yet lol..

1 thing I do realize is how loved I am at my job

[Miss Mary]

Sandi - great advice about the Fear word!

How about the word 'worry'? Got anything for that?

Hang in there John, it's hard to move forward without questioning the past, how well I know, but it is what you must do to not worry so much!

Mary

[Josephine96]

Thank you for the continued advice guys..

[therock1811]

Don't beat yourself up un-necessarily. It is common courtesy to apologize for missing the really important things, yes. But don't dwell on it.

[JenyEliza]

Josephine,

In the words of my mother "you're borrowing trouble". Do you know the interest rate on borrowed trouble? Double digit, compounded hourly, daily, weekly, monthly. Sleepless nights, stress, ulcers...and all for nothing.

Borrowed trouble is when you think there's something wrong (when in fact it is all in your mind), you worry endlessly about it and let it effect your daily routine in a negative way. Your boss is a fine example of someone borrowing trouble--and now you're doing the same thing.

Go back to work next week (if you're physically ready). My bet is your first day back will get easier by the minute, and by the end of the day you will be SO GLAD you jumped back in to your old routine! So will your co-workers, and your bosses.

Give it a go...and STOP borrowing trouble!!

All my best to you!

Jeny

[JenyEliza]

Thank you for all the kind words guys.. and you're right about worrying being a waste of mental energy.. I just feel bad because I missed the last 12 days before Christmas and because they're itching for me to get back but they know and I know I can't come back yet lol..

1 thing I do realize is how loved I am at my job

THAT is what you need to hang on to when the nagging worry gets to you. YOU ARE LOVED by your co-workers and bosses. THAT is as precious a gift as any on earth. Don't let doubts and guilt take away the wonders in your life.

Each minute you give away to worry and doubt is a minute you can NEVER get back.

Jeny

[Pburgh]

You have gotten some great words of advice here. Instead of worrying about the past, get excited about the future. What's done is done and you have no control over that. It's today and tomorrow that count!!!
((Hugs))
Karan

[Rainband]

The end justifies the means

[HurricaneGirl]

John, there is some great advice for you in this thread. It's obvious how many people care about you here as well. When you go back to work and get back into your regular routine, I think those feelings will disappear quickly and you'll be back to your old self again.