High School Hazing Incident

[Guest]

Seems like the school is stepping up and taking action against these girls gone wild - about damn time - I hope they all get expelled (not graduate or attend prom) and realize they have to live with these recupersions for their actions for the rest of their lifes. Read where one girl has already filed a counter suit to get a restraining order to allow her to attend her senior prom and graduate - well I hope the judge laughs them out of court and makes them an example to all the GONE WILD kids. Just my two cents. Here is the link to the story on CNN.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/05/12/high. ... index.html

Patricia

[Stephanie]

Seems like the school is stepping up and taking action against these girls gone wild - about damn time - I hope they all get expelled (not graduate or attend prom) and realize they have to live with these recupersions for their actions for the rest of their lifes. Read where one girl has already filed a counter suit to get a restraining order to allow her to attend her senior prom and graduate - well I hope the judge laughs them out of court and makes them an example to all the GONE WILD kids. Just my two cents. Here is the link to the story on CNN.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/05/12/high. ... index.html

Patricia

I hope your right Ticka!

[j]

Just another example of what happens when outlandish behavior is not only accepted, but also promoted. Then...when all hell breaks loose...the parents look at each other and wonder how in the world, that their church attending, youth group member child could be doing such a thing!

Good chance to morph a little here. I'm a parent of an out of control 18-year-old girl, and with God as my witness...I have done everything in my power to set a moral example for them to follow. But I admit, my wife and I have lost yet another battle. (This is out-of-control #2).

Leading by example is all well and good, but unfortunately, we cannot police our children 24/7. They are subject to everything that is wrong with our culture, and the best of kids can be drawn into its decadence.

As an example: Here in the Bible Belt.... Upstate SC...The Southern Baptists are at the Church every time the door opens. They can recite every passage from the Bible by heart, and will quickly turn a general conversation into a Religious discussion. Their life centers around the church. They think their kids are noble and respectful, and they trust them to the point where they think both sex sleep overs are fine, because after all, these are good youth group members...they go on
Mission trips, and play church basketball, and hold car washes to raise money. They would never do anything disrespectful such as fornicating in a sleeping bag, 30 minutes after praying together before retiring for the night. But it happens...even to the "good" kids, despite parents who think they are doing everything right.

Somewhere around 17 or 18, unless by some miracle from above, your children begin to experiment. They have been living one way, but everything around them says it’s really not like this. Tattoo’s, body piercings, group sex, Bi-Sex, interracial sex, all night clubs, raves, drugs... you name it...its available, AND promoted by the Music Industry and the Movie Industry. All this awaits your church attending, morally respectful child, outside the cozy confines of your home.

I know...sounds like all doom and gloom, but there is a bright note. Out of control child #1, now a mother herself, looks back on her last few years and wonders how she could have done what she did. She is becoming a very respectful, morally uplifting person, just like the type we thought we were raising. Praise be to God!

[Stephanie]

I think the moral of the story is that kids will experiment and get into things no matter how hard the parents work to keep them in line or how involved they are in church, etc. It happened way before the music, movie and television industries as we know them now came into being and it will continue to happen well into the future. Unless you put your child into a bubble, they are going to be exposed to reality one way or another.

[j]

my point steph was that its getting worse, and the Industries that I point to, are dangling the proverbial carrot, making it next to impossible for the average parent to lead their children in the right direction.

I beg to differ with you that "it" happened well before the "anything goes" cultural movement.

For instance....and your old enough to relate..did you ever see a weapon in all the years you attended school? Did you ever see a student stand up in class and tell a teacher to f**k off? Did you ever witness oral sex on the school bus on the way home? I mean I could go on and on, but surely you see my point!

[Miss Mary]

I agree Stephanie we can't keep our kids in a bubble. I've always tried to set a good example and hopefully it will turn out right. So sorry to read it didn't with your daughter j. Now she sees the error of her ways. Much the same thing happened with my niece - she was out of control in HS, flunked her Jr. year, got into drugs, skipping school and her parents put her in a Kids Helping Kids program for 3 months. She has completely turned her life around. She's in college now and is the best kid. I'm so grateful all the time Nina hasn't give us any trouble. But we aren't sheltering her either. She listens to alt rock, watches a few MTV shows. But we're around to point out that it's not good to do what they're doing on TV. We discuss current issues a lot in this house. I will tell you one thing we decided early on: we keep beer in the house and on a semi-reg basis we demonstrate how to responsibly have a beer or two, at home. Some parents we know have taken all alcohol out of the house. Fine for them, but we'd rather give Nina a reasonable approach to enjoying a beer or two. The hope is for her not go wild in college, but rather remember how we drank responsibly. She's also a member of Pride at school, a drug/alcohol free club. She takes her membership in it very seriously. And finally, we do put all alcohol up when their friends are over. But when it's just the 4 of us, there is beer/wine in the fridge. She's never tested us. Then again, guess we're very lucky.

[Stephanie]

my point steph was that its getting worse, and the Industries that I point to, are dangling the proverbial carrot, making it next to impossible for the average parent to lead their children in the right direction.

I beg to differ with you that "it" happened well before the "anything goes" cultural movement.

For instance....and your old enough to relate..did you ever see a weapon in all the years you attended school? Did you ever see a student stand up in class and tell a teacher to f**k off? Did you ever witness oral sex on the school bus on the way home? I mean I could go on and on, but surely you see my point!

What I'm saying is that no matter what a parent does, the children will develop their own minds, interests etc., regardless of what the parents try to instill in them.

There is a local story about a high school senior that killed her step-father when he was performing his daily beating on his common-law-wife (her mother). When she told him to stop he smacked her (she often wore pancake makeup to hide the bruises). She stabbed him in the back with a kitchen knife after he hit her. Both parents were drunks. She never had any problems at school. The police arrested her and she's currently out on bail that was posted by donations received by neighbors and politicians in her city.

Drugs, sex and violence occurred way back when, perhaps not to the extent, nor was it reported about as much as it is now. Remember the 70's???

[southerngale]

I think what they did is outrageous. That is not normal teenage behavior. It's hideous.

I don't think we should put our kids in a bubble either, but being exposed to reality and participating in inexcusable acts of immoral and criminal behavior are two different things. Those kids need SERIOUS punishments suitable for their atrocious acts!!

[j]

"Drugs, sex and violence occurred way back when, perhaps not to the extent, nor was it reported about as much as it is now. Remember the 70's???"

Oh yes...I remember the 70's. Drugs..yes. Sex...yes. Violence.....definitely not even remotely close to what we see today.

Back to the subject at hand...I'd like to see some jail time for the perpetrators. The video is all the proof that should be needed.

[Stephanie]

I think it's a combination that there's more of those three items going on and there's more reporting of it too.

Something should definately happen to those girls for what they've done.

[Aslkahuna]

but for the Parents who supplied the alocohol to the kids and stood by and did nothing to stop the melee. Also the Parents of the kids who were hurt should file major big time lawsuits against the other Parents and the kids.

Steve

[petal*pusher]

I sure agree with you j....the students on that tape need to be held accountable for their actions......and if that means NOT attending graduation or the prom.....boo-hoo-hoo! Ultimately, SOMEONE is responsible for these actions. If the school turned their eyes for years at this horrendous practice.....some of the blame lies on them.

Working with teenagers on a daily basis has sure opened my eyes to various ways of "parenting"!! I've always worked (had to!).....and have had many guilty feelings for not being able to spend more time with my own two children.....but I know I did the very best I could. My kids know I love them......they know my expectations......they know I'll defend them to the end if they are unjustly accused of anything....but they also realize that I will NOT protect them if they break laws!

My father had a great saying that I love to repeat;

"Raising a child is like throwing a baseball....you give it the best wind-up and pitch that you can.....but after it leaves your hand there is nothing you can do!"

I see kids daily that are from EXCELLENT homes......some never fall to peer pressure, but some do. I also see kids from homes and situations that are unimaginable.....some of these kids seem to just rise above challenges......and some fall into every trap out there.

You're right "j".....as a child from the 60's.....things are a LOT different! Sure, there were always questionable activities to tempt young people......but I agree that impressionable young people of today have challenges more H-U-G-E than most parents can imagine.

Daily I see girls come here from their "home schools" that have the same rules we do here (vocational school) concerning how they dress....actually the guys too. When certain behaviors and outfits are condoned at their home schools......even tho they have rules AGAINST it.......they think WE allow it too! NOT ME! I have them go put on a smock to cover up midriffs and cleavage........repeatedly if needed. Finally, they seem to get the message! (I've even told a few sitting in their high stools and bend over against the desk that they need to pull their jeans up in back because they "look like a plumber!")

Ultimately.....SOMEONE is responsible for allowing actions and behaviors. Just like adults, kids learn quickly to see how much they can "get away with"........unfortunately, there is often no one who cares enough to correct them and make them adhere to rules............p

[j]

petal....your a teacher I take it.....I wish we had more like you.

A great response.

[Guest]

My thoughts are punish the parents that supplied alcohol to the kids and the kids need to be accountable for their actions - as my dad always said - you play - you gonna pay. They need to pay criminally and monetaryily. "J" - as a parent you can only do so much - then a person has to be held accountable for their own actions - no one's fault but their own. Some kids learn this fast and early in their adult lifes and then some take a lot longer with alot more struggles.

[Rainband]

Somewhere around 17 or 18, unless by some miracle from above, your children begin to experiment. They have been living one way, but everything around them says it’s really not like this. Tattoo’s, body piercings, group sex, Bi-Sex, interracial sex, all night clubs, raves, drugs... you name it...its available, AND promoted by the Music Industry and the Movie Industry. All this awaits your church attending, morally respectful child, outside the cozy confines of your home.

I know...sounds like all doom and gloom, but there is a bright note. Out of control child #1, now a mother herself, looks back on her last few years and wonders how she could have done what she did. She is becoming a very respectful, morally uplifting person, just like the type we thought we were raising. Praise be to God!

Prejudice comments like that are why people will always be blinded by hate!!!! I don't know about you but I don't judge people by their color!!!! Race religion..etc..etc...... What kind of morals are you teaching?? If you teach a child to judge someone by the color..to me thats just plain ignorant..JMHO

[petal*pusher]

Rainband......although you quoted "j" correctly.....I really do not think his post was racially motivated or intended to cause havoc.

Hang around some kids! Listen to what they're talking about! I get included in some great discussions here at school that are prompted by old-timey sayings........and some new-timey sayings too!

(I think a detailed explanation about common perception of
black guys/white guys does NOT need to be made!)

Many things some kids take part in is soley to "shock" others......or to expiriment for themselves. So much more is openly talked about now that before was considered hush-hush! My family includes a person from another race.....and we love her very much; my brother happened to fall in love with someone with a skin color different than his. Listening to some of the kids nowdays though, in many instances......"love" has nothing to do with their experimentation...........p

[Rainband]

I wasn't quoting "J"..I was just using what he posted to exemplify my feelings about predujice in this country. I think people who judge people by more than their soul are missing out on alot...I look at it this way..If you were blind?? What would you see of an individual...You would see whats inside..IMHO thats all that matters..not race religion..etc!!! again JMHO

[petal*pusher]

Rainband....I agree with you.....and I love your idea of not being able to "see" skin color! My post was intended to say that inter-racial dating seems to be one of the "popular" things to do in today's young people.......I see it daily.......and it is commonplace everywhere.

From listening to comments made by the young people themselves.....this has very little to do with "love"!.....p :?

[Rainband]

I know kids scare me these days...They seem to have a death wish and no discipline...I think the parents do a great job raising some of them but they stray..Seems they are influenced more by peer pressure than morality and that is a deadly scenario... In my case I had a terrible childhood and no discipline but I know right from wrong..I guess it depends on the individual!! I know it would be a perfect word if there was no hate wouldn't it?? :o

[Lindaloo]

Rainband... the reason there is lack of discipline these days because there are TOO many laws that protect children. Parents tend to stray from discipline because they are afraid to go to jail. What they need to do is have laws that protect parents so they can be able to discipline the children.

I agree with petal*pusher about j's post. I do not believe he meant anything racist at all. However, there are still a majority of Americans that do not believe in interracial marriages, but that in NO way deems them prejudice if they are against it.