14 Things that it took over 50 Years to Learn

[weatherlover427]

FOURTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN By Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the
Titanic.

[mf_dolphin]

Good one Joshua!

[bfez1]

Enjoyed that, thanks for sharing

[Amanzi]

LOL ... "1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night. "

Rather sound advice I think :o

[weatherlover427]

I agree with that ... I'd hate to wake up at 3 AM and go OH $#**!" (literally)

[fixitmhn]

Being over 50 I can relate to ALL of those!

[JCT777]

Joshua - great list! I agree with most of them, particularly this one:

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

This is why I rarely discuss religion with anyone.

[Stephanie]

Great list Josh!

[weatherlover427]

Glad you enjoyed this.

[Constructionwx]

lol Josh! I enjoy reading Dave Barry too.

It also reminds me that I hadn't read him in awhile.

Let's see. . . . . . Yes! I found him in my favorites.

[Pburgh]

Thanks Joshua

I think one of the truest ones (besides the laxative and sleeping pill one)lol is

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

I have really noticed this. Someone that is nice to you but rude to any other person who is waiting on them (whether it be at the store, restaurant or carwash) are really just shallow, phoney people.

Ok, I'll step down now!!!