I'm so thrilled by God's mercy and the power of prayer. I'm a living miracle....because the doctors didn't believe I'd live; not a premature baby less than a week old with pneumonia...I was too frail, too weak to survive -- yet here I am 41 years later.
I should be so depressed this morning. My great aunt went blind since I accepted Christ on Easter weekend. My cousin Susie..a woman I love like an older sister is lying near death; my second cousin was diagnosed with malignant melanoma a few days ago..the prognosis isn't good. Becky's father in law...a friend of mine...he's dying with prostate cancer (diagnosed grade 4 last August...remission has been shorter than hoped). He's been so good to Becky's kids...Becky loves him, considers him a father.
I'm not depressed this morning, but instead feel a calm and peace in my heart. For those of you that knew me in 2000....depression and agony over my great aunt Ruby slowly dying from liver disease and kidney failure (lived right next door) was a
major factor in my disruptive behavior on the GoPBI Storm2000 board.
Watching her fighting as hard as she could, yet realizing the inevitable, seeing her crying because she was dying was killing me...the pain eating me alive (she died on Christmas Day 2000); and I took it out on everyone on that forum...on my friends
I love Susie even more than I did aunt Ruby...we're closer. I have photos of Suz holding me as a baby, her 11 or 12 years old, me sitting in her lap when I was 4 and her a teenager...she's been my big sister (all three of uncle Gene's daughters are like older sisters to me).
I've shed tears over her the past two days...because she's hurting...and because I love her; not because I'm depressed or want to die.
I wept but don't feel the same burden I felt when aunt Ruby was so sick and dying...don't have any anger or desire to hurt others or lash out. All I want to do is be nice...make others feel better.
It's not me....I'm not that brave nor anything special. It's the power of God working in my life, giving me peace in my heart and comfort when I need it most. I want God to use me as a vessel to bless others; I pray for him to use me, to allow me to be a blessing to everyone I meet.
There is great power in humble earnest prayer....miracles do still happen...I'm living proof
God Bless each of you!
Perry