You know you are in deep trouble when...

[southerngale]

* The stewardess on your American Airlines flight tells you NOT to fasten your seatbelt.

* Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked Panama.

* You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your late car payment.

* The little league puts you on waivers.

* Your suggestion box starts ticking.

* Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DEA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.

* You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town.

* You see the cruise captain running toward the railing wearing a life jacket.

* They pay your wages out of petty cash.

* You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you've ever had.

* Getting there is half the fun and three-fourths of the vacation budget.

* The simple instructions enclosed aren't.

* A black cat crosses you path and drops dead.

* You take an assertiveness training course and you're afraid to tell your wife.

* You see your wife and your girlfriend having lunch together.

* Your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.

* The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm.

* The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.

[depotoo]