I need to talk with ya'll about something..

[Josephine96]

Kinda interesting topic.. and I need you all's help if ya don't mind

I seem to be developing an interesting problem.. I think I am developing some feelings for 1 of the young women I work with at Wal Mart.. {seems harmless so far right lol}..

She was 1 of my favorites when I worked 2nd shift before I got hurt.. and even though I don't work 2nd anymore.. she treats me with tons of respect, makes me feel special and wanted. Plus I know she likes me at least as a person.. {as more I don't know lol}

Here's the problem.. This is the 3rd girl I have worked with that I thought I have had some "feelings" for.. The other two.. 1 of them quit.. and the other really is a b with an itch attached lol.. But that's not the real problem lol..

Here's the real problem.. In the last 2 years.. I have slowly progressed away from the girl that hurt me really bad.. My ex fiancee Cristy. Well, even though her and I don't talk anymore.. I still have thoughts at times about how bad she hurt me.. and God knows what else she did.. .. She left me completely devastated.. as I'm sure ya'll know

I am too afraid to get close to a female.. I know it's been 2 years.. I have actually gone on a few dates in the past 2 years.. but I have had none of the potential "relationships" even get started lol..

Am I nuts for still being scared even after 2 years..? Or.. Should I just be friends with the girls I work with.. {I know they all love me anyway lol}.. or.. should I just take a chance if my feelings get any stronger.. and maybe treat this girl to lunch or dinner or something lol.. I am confused..

A little advice appreciated..

[cswitwer]

Well, I'm no expert-- I had crushes on people for YEARS before I met my partner, and I was always falling for people at work til I got burned that way. So my advice to you would be 1) be smart, and gentle, with your own heart
2) try not to get your honey where ya get your money and 3) take it slow on yourself, if you're scared, that's okay. You can just decide each & every day what's too scary and what beats the boredome/lonliness of not dating (or whatever not dating feels like to you). I was comfy for 10 years without dating, though I kept obsessing about whether there was something wrong with me for not being ready to date.

Essentially, only you can know what you need. Just be careful with yourself, whether that be careful of others, or careful of being without others...

[Josephine96]

Don't get my honey where I get my money huh? lol.. nice 1

Anyway.. I'm probably too scared.. so just like with the 1st 2.. the feelings will probably fade in the next couple days.. but if they persist.. maybe I'll see what happens

[cswitwer]

Good luck to you!

[Josephine96]

thank ya.. lol

[drudd1]

Let me tell you something about not taking a chance. My wife and I have just celebrated our 18th year of marriage. We were married in 1987, but were in the same college classes together in 1981. I wanted so bad to ask here out, but I had told myself that she would never go out with me. She was awesome, still is, and I just couldn't picture her saying yes. Being scared back then, I kept my mouth shut. It would have been an absolute pity if fate hadn't put us back together, her as a DOD employee, and me in the Air Force on the same overseas base. Since I had had time to think about my earlier folly, when I ran into her in 1984, I jumped at the chance to ask her out, knowing she would say no. Thankfully I was wrong.

To my surprise, I later found out that she had been hoping I would ask here out while in college. Go figure! Things like that taught me that life will pass you by unless you reach out and grab it. If you're scared it's perfectly fine, but don't let it keep you from living life to it's fullest. We have all been jilted at one time or another but as it goes with all things in life, if the horse bucks you off, get up, dust yourself off, and climb back on!

That being said, you didn't mention if this girl was your supervisor or you hers. If that is the case my advice would be to absolutely not get involved. If not, then why not? Just keep in mind that should a relationship evolve, then as you two gain in seniority, a transfer or another job will be inevitable. In addition, should you two get together and then break up, again, there will probably be a need to again transfer or find a new job elsewhere. But in my humble opinion, the chance of finding that once in a lifetime soul-mate outweighs all but a supervisory conflict.

Irregardless of what you choose to do, good luck

[vbhoutex]

Let me tell you something about not taking a chance. My wife and I have just celebrated our 18th year of marriage. We were married in 1987, but were in the same college classes together in 1981. I wanted so bad to ask here out, but I had told myself that she would never go out with me. She was awesome, still is, and I just couldn't picture her saying yes. Being scared back then, I kept my mouth shut. It would have been an absolute pity if fate hadn't put us back together, her as a DOD employee, and me in the Air Force on the same overseas base. Since I had had time to think about my earlier folly, when I ran into her in 1984, I jumped at the chance to ask her out, knowing she would say no. Thankfully I was wrong.

To my surprise, I later found out that she had been hoping I would ask here out while in college. Go figure! Things like that taught me that life will pass you by unless you reach out and grab it. If you're scared it's perfectly fine, but don't let it keep you from living life to it's fullest. We have all been jilted at one time or another but as it goes with all things in life, if the horse bucks you off, get up, dust yourself off, and climb back on!

That being said, you didn't mention if this girl was your supervisor or you hers. If that is the case my advice would be to absolutely not get involved. If not, then why not? Just keep in mind that should a relationship evolve, then as you two gain in seniority, a transfer or another job will be inevitable. In addition, should you two get together and then break up, again, there will probably be a need to again transfer or find a new job elsewhere. But in my humble opinion, the chance of finding that once in a lifetime soul-mate outweighs all but a supervisory conflict.

Irregardless of what you choose to do, good luck

Very sage advice drudd1!! BTDT and 33 years later we are still madly in love!!!!

What I bolded above is the advice my father always gave me and it something my son still remembers when ever he thinks of his Grandad. It is for real and even though it is often hard to do it makes life an adventure to look forward to. Go for it John and follow your heart, not your fears.

[Josephine96]

She isn't some sort of supervisor btw.. lol.. She's just a regular employee on the floor like I am..

I may pursue it if the feelings persist for a bit.. I think I'm just eager to find somebody.. I don't know lol

[sunny]

You have to take the chance. Otherwise you will never know what this could have been!

[Josephine96]

True sunny lol.. I may indeed take a chance on it.. I will wait and see if the feelings I appear to have will persist 1st.. because they may fade real quick like they did with the 1st 2..

[Skywatch_NC]

Wishing you the VERY best, John!!

Eric

[Josephine96]

Thank ya Eric..

<<<<is very confused lol

[sunny]

Thank ya Eric..

<<<<is very confused lol

lol - relationships always ARE!! My 14 year-old-niece told me the other night that "boys are weird". I told her it doesn't get any better as they get older

[Josephine96]

LOL aint it the truth

[Skywatch_NC]

Thank ya Eric..

<<<<is very confused lol

Guess they say that love at times makes one confused lol

[Guest]

John, I want to get gruff here for a second. Yeah, I know, it is my own personal experience with a girl, but I felt the need to chime on in.

Are you happy with no CLOSE (girlfriend-type) relationships? If so, just stay away, dismiss those feelings. You never know, does she have boyfriend, heck, a husband already? You feel bad right now, but it would be NO Sunday picnic in the woods if you interferred with a POSSIBLE relationship.

You say you are eager to meet somebody. I know the feeling, but I just have to remember that people can be mean sometimes (I have personally been hurt by a girl). That completely takes care of my urge or desire to find that special someone for a month or so.

Good luck!

[Josephine96]

I've noticed something.. Just about every girl I work with.. is NOT single.. There may be a couple who are.. but ya can't tell..

I'll also be honest.. as lonely as it is sometimes.. I AM happy single.. I think of it as more freedom lol..

[cajungal]

I don't know if I would get involved with someone I work with. Because if it does not work out, you still got to see that person and it could be painful. I got involved with a co-worker only once. I did not want to. But, a person who was supposed to be my friend kept edging me on. We went out drinking one night and one thing led to another. I will never know what would of happened at work the next day. Because he got killed in a car wreck on his way to work the very next day. I was the last one to see him alive. At the funeral, I found out he was a married man. All that while, I thought for sure he was divorced. He even lied on his job application and said he was divorced.

[Guest]

I don't know if I would get involved with someone I work with. Because if it does not work out, you still got to see that person and it could be painful. I got involved with a co-worker only once. I did not want to. But, a person who was supposed to be my friend kept edging me on. We went out drinking one night and one thing led to another. I will never know what would of happened at work the next day. Because he got killed in a car wreck on his way to work the very next day. I was the last one to see him alive. At the funeral, I found out he was a married man. All that while, I thought for sure he was divorced. He even lied on his job application and said he was divorced.

"Good" example, Cajun, but a very dramatic one that can happen.

[Josephine96]

There is 1 thing I can't stand currently at my job.. 1 of my fellow cart pushers.. who is about 18-19.. is going out with my bosses' daughter..

She is like 17-18.. and because the 2 of them are dating.. I think my boss gives him special treatment.. {My actual "boss" is the girls' Mom btw}..

I think part of the reason me wanting a girl at work is because maybe.. well I don't know lol