Theresa is a TWISTED LIAR! :((

[Josephine96]

Good evening all.. While I am upset.. I am not completely teary eyed.. and despite what the sentence states above.. I'm still friends with her lol..

Here's a rundown of the afternoon..

I was on lunch when Theresa came in at 1.. I walked up to her.. she embraced me as she always does.. and I politely told her.. "See ya @ 5 for lunch.. I'll pick you up at your register if the Csm's haven't sent you" lol

Not even 5 minutes later.. the rumors started once again.. A cashier.. we'll call her J.. decides to come over and tell me.. "Theresa's heard what you've been bragging about all week and she thinks you have the wrong idea".. I just once again shrugged my shoulders and let it go.." It turns out J.. is probably the leader of the rumor cult.. I'll explain why in a sec lol..

Calm but nerve racking afternoon, hearing rumor after rumor.. I'll break down which rumors we're true and which weren't..

It is now almost 4pm ET.. Theresa gets sent to 1st break late.. I happen to catch her.. and decide to clear the air.. and I politely ask her.. "Before I take you to lunch.. on our "date".. I need to ask you.. Do I even have a chance..? her polite but blunt response was "Nope".. and she later re-iterated "I have a bf.. that's why"..

So I then said.. "I respectfully hate to say this.. but I can't go on this date with you then.. because I would not want.. and God would not want me to date a woman who is either married or seeing somebody"..

Oh how quickly that shut her up lol.. But it does NOT END THERE! She also insists to tell me.. "You probably got the wrong idea and I heard when I came in how much Nancy said you were excited about our "date".

So I respectfully told her.. "I do like you.. I really do care about you.. and I love you.. {as a friend} but.. If you and your bf break up.. Please don't come running!"..

Allegedly she then became visibly shaken.. {so I was told} lol.. But then.. my break was over.. and GET THIS.. I went to tell a CSM I was back from break.. and they were all LOOKING AT ME FUNNY lol.. As they were looking at me funny.. Theresa was talking to 1 of them.. and glancing over in my direction.. so I bet ya she was talking about me..

Immediately after 1 of the cashiers heard what happened.. she came over and said to me.. "You don't have to have a girlfriend to tell you that you're loved every day.. just ask 1 of us whenever you want and we'll tell you because we all love you"..

Finally.. This is actually the funniest part.. 3 of my managers.. we'll call them, D, D and M lol.. all actually came over and said "We're sorry you struck out.. we know how much you liked her".. That just shows how far a rumor travels after it starts lol..

But I think it also shows how much I really am cared about in the store..

Here's a break down of the major rumors:

Theresa's marital status: Taken but not married.. She is currently seeing a guy but has no kids.. and has never been married nor divorced..

Kids: as mentioned: 0

Interest in Me: Reportedly Theresa did tell 1 of the cashiers she was interested in me.. but couldn't see me because she was obviously with somebody else..

Here's the funny 1:

Yesterday, J told me.. "John.. Theresa has 2 kids and is happily married" Well today.. another cashier immediately told J "Mind your business because she has no kids and is not married.." J also proceeded to tell ME "She's not interested in you"

Basically it goes on forever.. lol.. I may elaborate from here on out.. but maybe more elaborations later

[sunny]

Oh, John. I am sorry.

[Brent]

I have a headache.

I think you just explained why I'm single and not looking.

[StormChasr]

Yeah, this is why I am single, and haven't remarried.

[Josephine96]

It's ok Sunny.. I'm mad at her.. But I know I'm still gonna be her friend.. she's too nice a person to hold a grudge against..

Plus I think ever since what happened to me 2 years ago.. I have considerably matured.. which is why I'm not taking this as hard..

I am a little angry though.. I know it could have been just an innocent lunch "date". But either way.. it would have become a triangle. Either I would have got hurt.. because she has a BF.. she could have left her BF because she got attracted to me.. or she would have ended up hurt by 1 of us..

So in a way.. I'm glad she said No.. Plus like I told her.. "I would never and God would never want me dating a married or taken woman". I think the God thing is what stunned her lol

[sunny]

I'm going to tell you a true story - just to show how cruel some people can be. Some of you know my good friend Shelby, who turned 35 today, has breast cancer, stage 3. She recently went through a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery, and is currently going through aggressive chemo therapy. She is single, no children.

About a month ago, her child-hood sweetheart popped back up. She resisted getting involved with him, but he kept pushing it. When we visited this past Monday, I could tell she was starting to give into her feelings for him. Well, Wednesday night, the very day she has her third round of chemo and he was supposed to be with her, he informs her he is reconciling with his ex-girlfriend. If I could get my hands on this guy, you guys would have to come and bail me out of jail. To do that to ANYONE is low, but to do it to someone who is fighting cancer is lower than low.

People should know better than to play with others emotions. It makes me very angry.

[Josephine96]

Makes me angry too sunny.. and it seems like it happens to me everytime I fall for somebody

[sunny]

Makes me angry too sunny.. and it seems like it happens to me everytime I fall for somebody

You just haven't found the right one yet. You will - I KNOW you will

Trust me, I've been there so many times, John. But I don't give up!

[alicia-w]

Feel sorry for her because she is so insecure in her relationships with human beings that she cant be truthful. You, on the other hand, had the presence of mind, to state your convictions and stick to them. Bravo. I applaud you. Let her stew for a while. Dont give it a second thought.

[sunny]

Feel sorry for her because she is so insecure in her relationships with human beings that she cant be truthful. You, on the other hand, had the presence of mind, to state your convictions and stick to them. Bravo. I applaud you. Let her stew for a while. Dont give it a second thought.

This is good advice John. Very good advice!!

[StormChasr]

Cindy, now that is the all time worst story I have ever heard. That guy should be strung up by his heels, and hung upside down over a fire ant mound.

John, hang in there---happens to all of us. Ya win some, ya lose some. Life goes on, and things work out for the best.

[sunny]

Unfortunately there are some really low people out there. Weeding out the bad ones can be a chore!

[Josephine96]

What's this you guys are saying about insecurity..? I'm not so sure I understand..

[coriolis]

I can't answer the insecurity thing Josephine, but I'll add my general thoughts if I may. (I'm a grizzled veteran with numerous battle scars in my emotions). The following are the lessons that I've learned - mostly the hard way.


Don't make your bed where you make your bread. Your income is too important to jeopardize with personal issues.

It's ok to confide in a close friend, but don't "tell everyone" about your personal life. Half of the people out there will treat it as entertainment. The other half don't really care, and will only act as if they care. You're leaving yourself open to a lot of mischief by broadcasting your life to everyone. People won't take you seriously. You'll be the subject of much talk. When you're at work, focus on work. That's how you go places.

Don't use the rumor mill for information. As you found, you're opening yourself to a lot of mis-information too. If you have to go through intermediaries, the relationship is doomed! It was good that you gathered yourself up and confronted her. That was a sucess for you!

Probably the worst words that any guy can hear from a girl are "I just want to be friends." That's like sticking a knive in your heart and twisting it slowly. (Listen up girls). There's so many differences between the male and female of the species, especially when it comes to relationships. Girls like their friends. The more friends the better. Men are much more focused in their motivations. They categorize all women as either potential mates (loosely defined) or not potential mates. They don't want to spend their resources on those that are not potential mates. Women like to create a web of relationships for mutual support. These relationships can be with men or women. This is all pretty moot, since I'm married (for better or worse), but before, I had reached the point that a woman would have to be pretty direct about her interest before I'd nibble at the bait. Most men can probably relate to the pain and humiliation of "I just want to be friends." Women just don't relate to that.

Watch your emotions. Emotions are like the icing on the cake of life. They're enjoyable, but you can't live on them.

Live and learn!

[azsnowman]

LOL Ed....I LOVE that, don't make your bed where you bake bread "LOL!" Gotta LOVE that!! Indeed, it's a BAD, BAD idea to have a relationship WHERE YOU WORK....trust me, been there DONE that, it DON'T WORK!

Dennis

[Josephine96]

Thank you Coriolis

[Pebbles]

Hun, I'm sorry things didn't work out! But you will find a nice person at some point! I still think that the people I dated before my husband (and after.. we did break up a few times.. we met when I was 15 so still had growing up to do) taught me who I would be most compatible and how to nurture a relationship. I hope you take this a part of the 'relationship' learning experience.

I am so proud of you for standing up in your beliefs!!! That took allot of guts and maturity to say. And it is obvious you are putting everything through the thinking process in a mature manner.

I think people were saying she might be insecure because she didn't tell you in the first place that she was 'dating' someone when you asked her out to lunch. A girl knows why guys ask them on luncheon dates. And even if she just wanted to be friends she should of found a way to let you know. Not that this means she is a bad person, but maybe just not at a point in her life where she knows how to handle such matters with self confidence.

I have always disliked rumor mills at jobs. And it is something you will run into every job you have that involves more then a couple of people. My biggest advice is don't let on too much of your personal life to anyone that you don't want to have exaggerated 100 times what it really is. This aspect really stinks (I'm a friendly person too) but not everyone thinks on the same level.

Ever play that game telephone as a kid where you sit in a circle and one person picks a sentence and then you all pass it on to the next person in a whisper and see how messed up it is after everyone hears. That how rumors are. Once they get around the are wayyyyy off home base. Intentional or not.

Stay on track luv! I think your fantastic! *snuggs*

Christine
I smile because i have no idea what's going on!
2005 guess: 15/10/6
<----- Feel free to Rub the cute LUCKY Pebbles belly!

[Josephine96]

Aww.. Thank you Christine..

Ms. Theresa may be a little bit insecure about the reason why she didn't tell me.. I kinda wished she would have just said NO.. or I should have just flat out asked her out then heard her say NO lol..

You should have heard how much my heart pounded today.. 1.. was when I was excited about the "date" and it's possibility.. 2.. was when I tried to tell her the thing about "I have always been told and I know God wouldn't like if I dated a woman who is married or seeing someone else"..

I think that even threw her back about 10 feet lol.. Because she took a giant step back after I said it.. then after she told me she loves me {as a friend} like everyone else does lol She walked away with this blank look on her face lol..

I must admit.. I have learned something I already knew.. I work in a store of almost 700 employees. There are probably 700 different stories of what happened today or what's been happening all week..

[alicia-w]

I think people were saying she might be insecure because she didn't tell you in the first place that she was 'dating' someone when you asked her out to lunch. A girl knows why guys ask them on luncheon dates. And even if she just wanted to be friends she should of found a way to let you know. Not that this means she is a bad person, but maybe just not at a point in her life where she knows how to handle such matters with self confidence.

I couldnt have said it better myself. That's EXACTLY what I meant.

As for the relationships at work thing.... my husband and I have been together for 15 years and have worked in the same office for 15 years. it hasnt been easy and it hasnt always been terrific, but when we come home at the end of the day, we know exactly what the other one went through during the day and can sympathize (or rub it in). We do spend a lot of time on the road, and all of that time we're apart, but it makes for some nice me-time trips and great presents to bring home. Occasionally we will have a big test event overseas that we both get to go. that's a rare treat worth waiting for. the entire situation is certainly not the norm and tough to aspire to. Seeing your life partner potentially 24/7 does get OLD.

[Josephine96]

Well at least I know something new lol.. I think I understand why she may be insecure now..

I have also learned something I already knew.. Theresa's saying NO.. is HER LOSS! and when or if her current b/f ever gives her trouble.. she can always look back knowing she blew it with me.. and say "John would have never treated me like that" and it may haunt her

Not saying that is what I want to happen.. but I bet you a lot of girls I have dated previously.. including my infamous ex fiancee from 2 years back probably say that every once in a while..