LIGHTBULB JOKE -- CHRISTIAN DENOMINATIONS

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Dee Bee
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LIGHTBULB JOKE -- CHRISTIAN DENOMINATIONS

#1 Postby Dee Bee » Sun Jun 12, 2005 12:13 pm

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only 1 - Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10 - One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None - Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None - Candles only. (Of guaranteed origin of course.)

Baptists: At least 15 - One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3 - One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: 5 - One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined - Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene: 6 - One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None - Lutherans don't believe in change.

Amish: What’s a light bulb?


(I've been an active member of 3 of the above denominations, and IMO these fun descriptions are pretty accurate.... :roll: :D )
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#2 Postby vbhoutex » Sun Jun 12, 2005 2:16 pm

The Episcopalean one is especially appropo!!!
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StormChasr

#3 Postby StormChasr » Sun Jun 12, 2005 2:28 pm

Episcopalians: 3 - One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.


YES---got us exactly right there!! :wink: :wink: :wink:
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#4 Postby vbhoutex » Sun Jun 12, 2005 2:40 pm

StormChasr wrote:
Episcopalians: 3 - One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.


YES---got us exactly right there!! :wink: :wink: :wink:


I used to be one. That is how I know it is right!!!
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StormChasr

#5 Postby StormChasr » Sun Jun 12, 2005 2:42 pm

I used to be one. That is how I know it is right!!!


I still am one--God's frozen chosen. :)
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#6 Postby streetsoldier » Sun Jun 12, 2005 9:11 pm

StormChasr wrote:
I used to be one. That is how I know it is right!!!


I still am one--God's frozen chosen. :)


No, more like "Catholic Lite: all the panoply, half the guilt". Anglican for 24 years now. :larrow:
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#7 Postby beenthru6 » Mon Jun 13, 2005 7:32 am

As someone who has been Baptist all of my life, boy does that one fit. :lol: We love committees and food.
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