Men Rules

[sunny]

Read all the way to the bottom Jen and pojo - no, I'm not bailing on you!!!

You always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

2. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

3. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

4. Crying is blackmail.

5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

22. You have enough clothes.

23. You have too many shoes.

24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!

[yoda]

[streetsoldier]

Read all the way to the bottom Jen and pojo - no, I'm not bailing on you!!!

You always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

2. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

3. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

4. Crying is blackmail.

5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

10. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

14. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

15. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

17. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

22. You have enough clothes.

23. You have too many shoes.

24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Here is wisdom.

[Swimdude]

Maybe i'm not masculine enough, or whatever... But I try to treat my girlfriend [of a year and a half] with more respect than what that list portrays. Sorry y'all, can't be funny here.

[Brent]

I've seen that before...

[JenBayles]

Maybe i'm not masculine enough, or whatever... But I try to treat my girlfriend [of a year and a half] with more respect than what that list portrays. Sorry y'all, can't be funny here.

Aw c'mon dude - lighten up! It's just a silly joke. What happened to "going back to being male?" That was possibly the best comeback I've ever seen!

[weathermom]

Maybe i'm not masculine enough, or whatever... But I try to treat my girlfriend [of a year and a half] with more respect than what that list portrays. Sorry y'all, can't be funny here.

Give it more time and you will see the humor!! Marry her, spend the next 20 or more years with her.......only then will you understand.

[Swimdude]

Maybe i'm not masculine enough, or whatever... But I try to treat my girlfriend [of a year and a half] with more respect than what that list portrays. Sorry y'all, can't be funny here.

Aw c'mon dude - lighten up! It's just a silly joke. What happened to "going back to being male?" That was possibly the best comeback I've ever seen!

See "a woman's prayer" thread. Hehehhee.

[sunny]

See "a woman's prayer" thread. Hehehhee.

'morning dude! Waking up now, are you?!!

[Swimdude]

See "a woman's prayer" thread. Hehehhee.

'morning dude! Waking up now, are you?!!

Yup! It's summer; can't seem to drag my lazy male butt out of bed before 9:30. But then again, 9:30 isn't too bad, considering none of my friends are up until 1.

[sunny]

Whelp, considering you are still "in training", I guess we'll have to let that slide, huh Jen?