Jokes from Reader's Digest.

[David]

While walking through the parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face. As I was lying there, a woman called out "Are you hurt?" "No, i'm fine", I said, touched by her concern. "Oh, good," she continued. "So will you be vacating your parking spot?" -Harriet Welling, Los Angeles, California.

I was waiting in line at my county clerk's office one afternoon and nituced a hand-lettered sign that read: "Any child left unattended will recive a free kitten." -Jeanne Maultsby, Orange, Texas

The auto auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity. Vehicles were classified as either "Running" or "No start". On the block was a no-starter. It had a shattered windshield, 2 missing tires, a sagging front bumper, a cockeyed grille, a hood that was spring up at an angle, and dings and dents all over. Before he started the bidding, the auctioneer announced the year and make and model, and then read the owner's comments: "Please note, the radio doesn't work." -Chick Mansur, Blackwood, New Jersey

Families are complicated enough, but things become even more complicated after my father decides to get married to my brother's mother-in-law. "Now I can't make up my mind whether he's my dad or my father-in-law." says my brother, "Or if my mother-in-law is now my step-mother, or whether my child is my daughter or my niece." -Oscar Reagan, Jr., Plano, Texas