Being A Teen In 2003...

[azskyman]

There are lots of perspectives on this topic. Some existing teens on these boards. Some young folks in the 20's and 30's. And "the rest of us."

Just curious if you might share your perspective, whatever it might be, as to whether it is easier being a teenager in 2003 than in years gone by...or if you feel it is more challenging than ever.

Parents....maybe share your thoughts. And teens...would love to hear what you think.

Are the teen years hard? Lots of peer pressure? Too much pressure to look and dress a certain way? More or less pressure for drugs, alcohol, or sex? More difficult to be someone who doesn't conform?

I'll start by suggesting that I believe life was truly simpler back in my teen years-the 60's. Choices were more limited. Right and wrong was more black and white. Sure there were pressures, but the extremes were not so far out on the edge as they seem today.

Anyone else have an opinion?

[David]

Hmm... I haven't started HS yet, so I'll probably be facing more difficulties in my coming year.

Yes, the years can be hard, atleast in my case. I don't listen to people's comments most of the time, so no peer pressure, i'm not an idiot to smoke, get high, or have sex(I'm not the first pick for girls anyway... )

[weatherlover427]

I just finished my teen years, so allow me to pitch in if I may.

I didn't face much pressure to smoke or drink. But now, admittedly, I am feeling a sex craze. Not so much from peer pressure but it is my own doing. I care not to get into it at this time though.

[streetsoldier]

When coppertop awakens tomorrow, I'll be certain to have him answer this query personally. God help you all! :o :o :o :o :o

[pojo]

It really wasn't prevelent when I was growing up. It was hard do to anything like that (ie drink, chew, etc) in my High School years. My cousin was a year ahead of me at Menasha High, so we were watched. He was in football and I was in basketball and swimming. Nevertheless, what made things worse is my grandmother knew plenty of teachers and administrators at Menasha High...she used to be a secretary there. But when I was going through school, she was the secretary at one of the elementary schools in Menasha. Needless to say, if we did something horrible at a school function, we not only would be punished by my mom, step-dad, dad, but we would also be punished by my grandmother! (major crapola!) We had to be angels...there were no ifs, ands, or buts!

College so far, is do what I want. If I get myself in trouble with the law or the university, I have to pay the consequences. Not mom and step-dad or dad and step-mom to bail me out. I'm 21 now, and I have to know when to say "no".

Yes, there were the trial and error situations with alcohol, but nothing with smokes or chew. My family doesn't smoke, which makes life and heck of a lot easier on me. On the other hand, we drink, but in moderation. My Step-dad would push a few drinks at my brother and I. I'd have a few, but I know my limitations! We also know that someone in the family is always watching our movements.

[Miss Mary]

I have two teens now, 13 and almost 16. I'll answer with my experiences with the older one. Nina has said many times in the past few years, she wishes she could have lived in the 60s. Her favorite show is American Dreams (in danger of cancellation). I'm quick to point out the 60s aren't as glamorous as she thinks. She's talking about the early 60s. I do think she even longs for the 70s, based upon my growing up years! She's a good girl - doesn't drink, smoke, etc. Not allowed to date until she's 16, end of June. She's just into hanging out with friends, im'ing them, things like that.

The differences I see in teens is they rarely if ever talk on the phone now! They get on, make their plans, and then get off - in 5 minutes or less! In my day, you talked for hours and hours and hours....making your entire family irate with you! Nina doesn't sleep in either - 9 or 10 is her absolute latest. That is just her, she was always an early riser. I've heard teens still sleep till noon, never happens here though.

Some things the same - the looks. At parents, as if we're from another planet. The doors slamming. It's a wonder her door doesn't have serious cracks! She's growing out of that though.

And one more thing, she says she's waiting until marriage for you know what. Each time I hear that, I have to smile and hug her. But I'm not that naive to think that plan might get revised down the road. Just not in HS. College maybe.....if not, I'd be a happy mom!

Okay, Bill go wake up Coppertop - wonder what he'll say!!!!

[Guest]

Looking back, the hardest part of being a teen was deciding what to do. You're finally old enough to make (some) decisions for yourself. I always knew right from wrong, but I had to make the decisions for myself. My friends all smoked, but I decided that was not for me, so I said no. My friends all respected that. They may have offered me a cigarette now and again, but they never pressured me per se. I made some not so great decisions, like to drink as a teenager. But I grew out of that phase and knew I'd go no where with my life if I kept that up. The hardest part was knowing that I had the power to do what I pleased. As long as you've raised your child with a good moral background, I think they'll make the correct choices for themselves, even if they have to learn the hard way. Just my opinion

[Guest]

You know, it is a lot harder being a teen now than what it was in my dad's age. First of all, he had really cool toys when he was a kid. All I get is plastic crap.
Another argument is the "Questioning your Sex" crap. Back in my father's day, being homosexual was seen as morally wrong. Now it's "okay?" Even more scary, pedoplhiles are also pushing to be accepted in today's world. GROSS! All I need is to have to look over my shoulder every two seconds to make sure no 50-year-old perv is following me with dildo in hand!
So, in short, BEING A TEEN IN TODAYS WORLD BLOWS!

[azskyman]

Geez Coppertop...wish you would say how you REALLY feel! LOL! Aren't you glad you had Bill wake him up, Mary?

Really...I think there are quite a few young people who believe it is harder to be a teen in 2003 than it was in their parent's era. And most parents who have their eyes and ears open these days probably say it is more complex too. More open. Less discrete.

I'd be interested in knowing what POSITIVE peer pressure might be out there. I had a young student call at our home yesterday on behalf of SADD (Students Against Drunk Drivers). A $20 coupon book to raise money for SADD awareness...and save us a few bucks at a restaurant or two.

I told her I'd donate the $20 if she'd honestly answer the question.... "Do you do your part in helping keep your fellow students off the road if they have been drinking?" She was very quick to respond..."Yes, I would. I believe in the SADD program and what it is intended to do."

"If one of your friends is drinking and about to drive, do you REALLY stop them?"

"No sir...the friends I hang with don't drink."

She got her $20. I get the 8th pizza free if I buy 7!

What other positive influences are out there that actually have an meaningful impact on our teens?

[mf_dolphin]

As far as it being tougher on teens now I'm not convinced. Sorry, but I just don't but into it. I went to high school in the early 70's. Sex, drugs and rock'n'roll were all there and readily available. I had the same choices to make then as kids have now. What's different now? My opinion on what's different is right on the home. While we had the same choices to make we were held much more accountable for our choices. If we made a bad choice then the corrective measures came hard and fast, usually on our backsides! If we did something at school then school punishment was the easy part! There was no such thing as double jeopardy then! The other thing I see as difference is the lack of personal responsibility. We want to blame everyone and everything else for our own actions. That's the real shame today...JMHO

[streetsoldier]

From Coppertop:

"I do take responsibility for my actions, and violence as a disciplinary tool is not accepted or employed by my father, and God help anyone who would lay a hand on me!

And I'm turning out just fine, thank you very much. And, don't think I can't hear some of those chuckles from you people about that! Just because I'm in another state doesn't mean my 'ears' are failing!!"

Back to streetsoldier:

"He said it, I can vouch for it, and that settles it."

[mf_dolphin]

A good spanking never hurt a child Some parents don't believe in it and that's fine. The real point is that limits and set and enforced in the home. We blame our schools and yet we send them children that aren't disiplined and at the same time take away the ability to enforce disipline at school. It's no wonder we have a hard time attracting good teachers.

[streetsoldier]

Ok...I may take this a bit "overboard" simply because I grew up in a viciously brutal, abusive environment...and it took me over 20 years to come to grips with what was done to me (and I'm still "recovering").

Having said that, I also came to realize that "abuse can, and will, stop HERE...with ME." Hence, I do NOT use violence save IN DEFENSE, and have taught Coppertop the same credo.

ANY school principal, teacher, or other functionary who believes they have the "right" to use force upon my son...only gets "yours truly" in their face, demanding alternatives...and getting them. I should also note that this has come up only twice in the past 9 years...each time over a triviality which didn't meet any criteria I ever heard of to employ a paddle on a child.

[WidreMann]

I have to speak carefully given my past performance. But I can be civil this time.

Well, for me, yeah, things are complicated at times, and there are pressures both positive and negative, BUT, if you make reasonable decisions, it doesn't have to be difficult or dangerous. People, teens included, have the free will (but, see my thread on free will ) to do good, bad and neutral. I have chosen generally not to get involved with people who do dangerous things and have been careful myself not to do them. Certainly there are more options, but again, it's all about choice. I think things are definitely more difficult in terms of filling out applications and standardized tests - not that all of it is bad, but it sure is a lot.

I have enjoyed my teen years, generally speaking, though there have been rough times. It's interesting to realize that the whole class of people known as teenagers didn't really exist as such perhaps even a century ago. You had children and then you had adults. But now we have this in between group of people who have the freedom of adults (at times) and the responsibilities of children. No surprise then that there are many issues facing teens, but, I wonder if it would really be better if we didn't have this class and it didn't have this freedom. It's sort of like the tradeoffs between capitalism and communism. Yes, in communism, everyone's equal and things are simpler, but isn't capitalism better? Certainly many people lose out, or just don't try and get bad results, but the opportunities for extreme success and creativity and cultural development are immense. Would we trade that just to have everyone be on the same level? No. And maybe some teenagers just have to suffer so we can have a system that allows this class of people to be the way they are and explore the world in a different way. There's always a balance.

That's my two cents.

[weatherwunder]

I have a 16 year old daughter, and just listening to her talk, I would be inclined to say that it is harder now than when I was a teenager. But in thinking about it, there were just a different set of standards and pressures when I was a teen.

I will check with my young one in the morning (well, evening...she sleeps a little late), and get her perspective.

[CajunMama]

I was a teen in the early to mid 70's. The pressure to drink, smoke, do drugs, have sex was there too. I chose not to drink, do drugs or have sex. I did smoke cigarettes though. I knew people who did all the above. I knew people who had abortions. I knew people who had been sexually molested by family members. The peer pressure was there and it was tough to say "NO" to alot of things but my parents instilled morals and values in me. I think I did them proud!

Okay, that was the high school years. I turned 18 and college was a blast!!!!!!!