What is your favorite Insult?

Chat about anything and everything... (well almost anything) Whether it be the front porch or the pot belly stove or news of interest or a topic of your liking, this is the place to post it.

Moderator: S2k Moderators

Post Reply
Message
Author
User avatar
coriolis
Retired Staff
Retired Staff
Posts: 8314
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2003 10:58 pm
Location: Muncy, PA

What is your favorite Insult?

#1 Postby coriolis » Sat Jun 28, 2003 10:28 am

Lets lighten things up a little. Lets hear all your witty put-downs.
No foul language please. My theory is that the best insults don't need profanity. Feel free to submit more than once.


I'll start with these:

When they were handing out brains, he thought they said trains, and he said, "I'll take a slow one."

When they were handing out looks, he thought they said books, and he said "I'll take a funny one."

If you look up stupid in the dictionary, it has is a picture of him.


I'll submit more as I think of them.
0 likes   
This space for rent.
Top
User avatar
Lindaloo
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 22658
Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2003 10:06 am
Location: Pascagoula, MS

#2 Postby Lindaloo » Sat Jun 28, 2003 10:30 am

I have one similar to the train. My version is "When God was handing out brains, you thought he said rain and ran for cover."

"If ya can't take the heat, git out the kitchen"
"You are three cards shy of a full deck"
"Hello? Anybody home?"
"The elevator goes all the way to the top, but the light up there is very dim"
0 likes   
Top
JetMaxx

#3 Postby JetMaxx » Sat Jun 28, 2003 1:37 pm

One I made famous in the office when working for EDS....when I was on the phone with an angry clueless loon (usually a hospital billing clerk, doctor, or dentist :D

"Lord help, this lady (man) is so stupid I actually feel sorry for her" (him) :D

(thank God I had a mute button...LOL!!!).

Perry
0 likes   
Top
User avatar
azskyman
S2K Supporter
S2K Supporter
Posts: 4104
Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2003 7:36 am
Location: Scottsdale Arizona
Contact:
Contact azskyman

#4 Postby azskyman » Sat Jun 28, 2003 3:57 pm

Don't let your mind wander too far. Your brain is so small it should not be left out on its own.
0 likes   
Top
WidreMann

#5 Postby WidreMann » Sat Jun 28, 2003 4:10 pm

I really shouldn't do this. Anyways, you guys know my insults well enough already :o.

On SNL, they had a version of this
When they were handing out brains, he thought they said trains, and he said, "I'll take a slow one."
It was on a skit with Farley, Spade and one other guy I can't remember, who were playing three brainless department store workers (women). The Farley character said:
Boss: Yeah, Missy! You're so dumb.. when they were passing out brains, you thought they said "Trains".. and then, you got on it.. on a train, then went for a ride!

Missy: That didn't even make sense!
0 likes   
Top
User avatar
pawlee
Category 2
Category 2
Posts: 778
Age: 51
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2003 2:32 am
Location: Central IL
Contact:
Contact pawlee

#6 Postby pawlee » Sun Jun 29, 2003 2:46 am

lol! to give or recieve? p
0 likes   
Top
User avatar
deb_in_nc
Category 3
Category 3
Posts: 824
Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2003 6:51 pm
Location: Greensboro, NC
Contact:
Contact deb_in_nc

#7 Postby deb_in_nc » Sun Jun 29, 2003 7:41 am

If you put your brain in a parakeet it would fly backwards.
His biscuits aren't done.
You don't have both oars in the water.
0 likes   
Top
JetMaxx

#8 Postby JetMaxx » Sun Jun 29, 2003 10:05 am

Here's one I've heard all my life...

"That guy is so dumb he couldn't spell cat if you gave him the C and the T" :D :D
0 likes   
Top
User avatar
breeze
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 9110
Age: 62
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2003 4:55 pm
Location: Lawrenceburg, TN

#9 Postby breeze » Sun Jun 29, 2003 10:36 am

1) "Hello? 1986 called, and, they want your hairsytle back..."

2) "The government should require a permit for people
like you to reproduce..."

3) "Knowing you makes me understand why some animals
eat their young..."

4) "When you were little, your mama wouldn't let you play
in the sandbox for fear that the cat would bury you...again..."
0 likes   
Top
Constructionwx

#10 Postby Constructionwx » Sun Jun 29, 2003 12:12 pm

Worthless as a one legged man in a butt kickin' contest.
0 likes   
Top
JetMaxx

#11 Postby JetMaxx » Sun Jun 29, 2003 2:49 pm

Constructionwx wrote:Worthless as a one legged man in a butt kickin' contest.


ROFL!!!! :lol:
I've heard that one a few times too....
0 likes   
Top
CajunMama
Retired Staff
Retired Staff
Posts: 10791
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 9:57 pm
Location: 30.22N, 92.05W Lafayette, LA

#12 Postby CajunMama » Sun Jun 29, 2003 2:53 pm

When someone around me does something kind of silly or dumb, I use my nephew's line,

"Smooth move Exlax!"
0 likes   
Top
User avatar
streetsoldier
Retired Staff
Retired Staff
Posts: 9705
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2003 11:33 pm
Location: Under the rainbow

#13 Postby streetsoldier » Sun Jun 29, 2003 3:51 pm

"You are a waste of perfectly good sperm and sweat"...or,

"Pardon me, I need to check the air in your head"...

But usually, I wait for the other person to leave him/herself open, and then "zap" 'em...using their own words as a base of attack.
0 likes   
Top
User avatar
deb_in_nc
Category 3
Category 3
Posts: 824
Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2003 6:51 pm
Location: Greensboro, NC
Contact:
Contact deb_in_nc

#14 Postby deb_in_nc » Sun Jun 29, 2003 5:04 pm

My Aunt Mae used to say" Kill it before it multiplies".
I've heard "Excuse me,but are you a true blond or do you just act like it".
0 likes   
Top
User avatar
breeze
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 9110
Age: 62
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2003 4:55 pm
Location: Lawrenceburg, TN

#15 Postby breeze » Sun Jun 29, 2003 5:10 pm

LOL, I like "kill it before it multiplies"! ROTF......

"Forget artificial intelligence - find a cure for REAL
stupidity"...
0 likes   
Top
User avatar
wx247
S2K Supporter
S2K Supporter
Posts: 14279
Age: 41
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2003 10:35 pm
Location: Monett, Missouri
Contact:
Contact wx247

#16 Postby wx247 » Sun Jun 29, 2003 5:17 pm

I like those Bill.

I have also heard,
"He's a few fries short of a Happy Meal!"

"They fell out of the idiot tree and hit every branch on the way down."

"You put the 'I' in STUPID!"

"Excuse me... did you say something intelligent?Well, I'll be... I didn't know you knew any English beyond the 4 letter words?"
0 likes   
Personal Forecast Disclaimer:
The posts in this forum are NOT official forecast and should not be used as such. They are just the opinion of the poster and may or may not be backed by sound meteorological data. They are NOT endorsed by any professional institution or storm2k.org. For official information, please refer to the NHC and NWS products.
Top
pojo
Military Member
Military Member
Posts: 8016
Age: 43
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 9:16 pm
Location: Houston

#17 Postby pojo » Sun Jun 29, 2003 5:34 pm

He's (She's) a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
He (She) is not the sharpest crayon in the box.

My favorite to use is
Way to go Swift.
0 likes   
Top
User avatar
coriolis
Retired Staff
Retired Staff
Posts: 8314
Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2003 10:58 pm
Location: Muncy, PA

#18 Postby coriolis » Sun Jun 29, 2003 5:46 pm

If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's @$$ and make it walk backwards.
0 likes   
This space for rent.
Top
User avatar
breeze
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 9110
Age: 62
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2003 4:55 pm
Location: Lawrenceburg, TN

#19 Postby breeze » Sun Jun 29, 2003 7:01 pm

Bwa-Ha-Ha-Ha!!! :P
0 likes   
Top
User avatar
therock1811
Category 5
Category 5
Posts: 5163
Age: 39
Joined: Thu May 15, 2003 2:15 pm
Location: Kentucky
Contact:
Contact therock1811

#20 Postby therock1811 » Mon Jul 21, 2003 7:01 pm

Here's my fav....

"Is there a village that needs its idiot back?"
0 likes   
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Off Topic”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 10 guests