I just don't know what to do-Please help

JTD · #1 Postby **JTD** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 6:16 pm

OK....this is really hard for me but storm2k has been like a family to me so I feel like I can be totally honest.

OK, I think I might be gay. I don't know though. A psychic has told me that I'm going to marry this girl I am good friends with and have two blond eyed beautiful children. The thing is though I don't know if that's what I want. Maybe it is, but I just don't feel it yet. Right now, I feel like "OK. I'm going to be with this girl" but it's more a sense of resignation than happiness with it.

Anyway....I met this guy on an online dating site a couple months ago. He lives about 4 hours away from me in B.C. We chat over the phone and e-mail. I really really like him. I've never felt the way I do about him about anyone else ever. He likes me too and wanted to meet up with me.

We should have agreed not to look for anybody else once we got to know each other in retrospect but anyway I gave him the number of this local dating line on December 11th. He called it last Tuesday and met this guy who has totally swept him off his feet. I mean he's fallen head over heels. He said he gets "butterflies" thinking about him. He's 22 and this new apparent dashing romantic is 28. Apparently, he's like the most beautiful guy you'll ever meet.

The thing is that our relationship was always one based on friendship and he said when we hung up the day he told me about his new boyfriend that "I'm a really really cool guy" so I want to keep calling him and just be his friend. I'd rather that than nothing.

I'm worried though that if I do call, he'll get freaked out and look at talking to me like it is cheating on this new guy in his life. He might also think I'm trying to steal him away. I don't want to get into a battle over him with this other guy because I know I'd lose. I'm not very tall. I'm not dashing the way this other guy is.

I'm thinking about calling him tonight and just saying "hey, how's Jason?" and just having a chat the way two friends would but I feel like things would be different now and maybe awkward. How ironic it is that he would meet two Jasons and like them both a lot.

Should I call him tonight just to chat and act normally, should I call him and say "hey I don't want things to get awkward between us. I'm cool just being friends, or should I not call at all and see if this new relationship he has flounders and he ends up calling me on his own?

I don't want to let this new guy win but I just can't compete because as I said I'm dealing with Fabio himself here.

What should I do? He doesn't know all of this and he still wants to hang out together as friends so I guess I could call. I just don't want him to say something like "dude why are you calling, you know I've met someone right." Although, they haven't agreed to go steady or anything.

I want to call tonight. Should I? We had a little fight back in October and a lot of people told me to just let it go but I didn't and things worked out well so I'm hesitant to let it go this time.

Thanks in advance for any help.

#2 Postby **Tstormwatcher** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 6:53 pm

First of all do not believe that psychic. I personnally do not believe in them. Second if you feel that there is no way you can just be friends with this guy, then you need to call him and let him know and not just drop him. This way you will have closure. After the call start looking for someone else.
Third, if you felt this way about this guy and never like that for a girl then my friend, you are gay. Don't be ashamed of it. It is who you are.

#3 Postby **Pburgh** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 3:34 pm

All relationships whether sexual or nonsexual should be based on friendship. If you are friends then call him.

#4 Postby **DaylilyDawn** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 1:38 pm

But be aware of the dating site.The guy could be a predator trying to find a victim.

TexasStooge · #5 Postby **TexasStooge** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 2:55 pm

DaylilyDawn wrote:But be aware of the dating site.The guy could be a predator trying to find a victim.

Very true. That's why I don't trust online dating services.

GalvestonDuck · #6 Postby **GalvestonDuck** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 10:46 am

*snirt* A psychic told me I'd meet a girl whose name started with either "R-A-C" or "R-A-Q" (I'm guessing Rachel or Raquel...can't think of anything else). That was almost 10 years ago. Still waiting. :lol:

In short, the best thing I can tell you to do, which is something you've hopefully already done (since I'm over two weeks late replying) -- communicate. Regardless of what the nature of your relationship is (friends, significant others, whatever), communicate with him -- both listening and talking.

As far as his "Fabio" is concerned -- let it ride. If he's meant to be with him, let him have his happiness. If he's not, he'll learn from the heartbreak and then, if you're meant to be together, he'll end up turning to you.

I've been where you are and I've been told patience is one of my strong points. I've learned to let it all fall in the hands of faith and destiny -- when it is meant to happen, it will happen. Ya can't hurry love. :wink:

Good luck, Jason!

Rainband · #7 Postby **Rainband** » Thu Jan 05, 2006 12:33 am

Jason. Follow your heart and do what it says!!

Rainband · #8 Postby **Rainband** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 2:59 am

Any updates Jason??

wxcrazytwo · #9 Postby **wxcrazytwo** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 10:52 am

Jason, if you want to meet this guy on an online dating service, then there is nothing to think about you being gay. It is okay to be gay, society has there own problems when dealing with those issues. It's kinda nice to see someone coming out of the closet and showing it. However, with your scenario, do the online chat for awhile until you really get ot know this person, if he is predator, he won't show patience, because he'd want his victim right away. If this guy is sincere and really is interested than do the online chat thing. That is how I met my wife RACHEL. We did the online chat for 2.5 years before she moved in with me. Now, we have known each other for 10 years and been married 4 of those 10 years.

#10 Postby **Stephanie** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 11:40 am

I do tend to believe in psychics - at least what they've read for me, especially the last one. Anyway, it doesn't mean that they are right all the time (I had been told that I was going to have children which I don't unless you count my four fur-balls).

As many have mentioned above, go with your heart. Call him and see how he reacts. You'll know if he truly wants to be your friend or not from the conversation.

hurricanedude · #11 Postby **hurricanedude** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:17 pm

hmmmm.....that about sums it up!
I never encourage internet dating....to many horror stories there.
Plenty of clubs and bars to go to and meet people in person, anywho
do what you think is best.
May I suggest a dog?
a lot less trouble!!
worked for me...after my "EX" left me I got a German Shepherd
No nagging, no complaining...no PMS...oh..what a life.
Though sunny and I almost hooked up...but Hurricane Katrina ruined all that.

#12 Postby **vbhoutex** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 10:14 pm

wxcrazytwo wrote:Jason, if you want to meet this guy on an online dating service, then there is nothing to think about you being gay. It is okay to be gay, society has there own problems when dealing with those issues. It's kinda nice to see someone coming out of the closet and showing it. However, with your scenario, do the online chat for awhile until you really get ot know this person, if he is predator, he won't show patience, because he'd want his victim right away. If this guy is sincere and really is interested than do the online chat thing. That is how I met my wife RACHEL. We did the online chat for 2.5 years before she moved in with me. Now, we have known each other for 10 years and been married 4 of those 10 years.

Jason there is some very sound advice in this post!!!

HurryKane · #13 Postby **HurryKane** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 10:48 pm

And if he dumps Fabio and you two decide to meet face to face, please--for reasons of safety--consider bringing a friend along, and meeting in a very public place where you have the ability to leave at any time if you feel uneasy.

TexasStooge · #14 Postby **TexasStooge** » Sat Jan 21, 2006 11:01 pm

HurryKane wrote:And if he dumps Fabio and you two decide to meet face to face, please--for reasons of safety--consider bringing a friend along, and meeting in a very public place where you have the ability to leave at any time if you feel uneasy.

Another piece of excellent advice.

GalvestonDuck · #15 Postby **GalvestonDuck** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 7:07 am

wxcrazy -- *snicker* obviously, the dork psychic I had was reading your fortune.

sunny · #16 Postby **sunny** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 10:35 am

Jason, I am probably the last person on this board who should be giving advice on love. But here is my two cents anyway - like Steph, Jonathan and others have said - go with your heart. I think some people are afraid of trusting others with their heart, they are afraid of getting hurt (I am guilty of that one myself). And sure, love is a gamble. But I would rather have loved and lost than not have loved at all. And who knows, your gamble just MIGHT pay off and you may find the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with. Now wouldn't that be worth it!

wxcrazytwo · #17 Postby **wxcrazytwo** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 10:46 am

GalvestonDuck wrote:wxcrazy -- *snicker* obviously, the dork psychic I had was reading your fortune.

Miss Mary · #18 Postby **Miss Mary** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 10:54 am

wxcrazytwo - I'm still trying to do the math here, trying to figure out your exact age and incredulous at the same time........that's what I'm doing. Duckie's got a whole 'nother thing she's figuring out....but it's all good.

Jason - I like the concensus you've been given, follow your heart. So true.

Mary

wxcrazytwo · #19 Postby **wxcrazytwo** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 12:47 pm

Miss Mary wrote:wxcrazytwo - I'm still trying to do the math here, trying to figure out your exact age and incredulous at the same time........that's what I'm doing. Duckie's got a whole 'nother thing she's figuring out....but it's all good.

Jason - I like the concensus you've been given, follow your heart. So true.

Mary

what is there to figure out and what makes me incredulous? Your trifling thoughts has me stumped.

Miss Mary · #20 Postby **Miss Mary** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 2:03 pm

wxcrazytwo wrote:
Miss Mary wrote:wxcrazytwo - I'm still trying to do the math here, trying to figure out your exact age and incredulous at the same time........that's what I'm doing. Duckie's got a whole 'nother thing she's figuring out....but it's all good.

Jason - I like the concensus you've been given, follow your heart. So true.

Mary

what is there to figure out and what makes me incredulous? Your trifling thoughts has me stumped.

LOL!!! Well, my "trifling thoughts" are probably best understood by others......maybe if you tell us your exact age, it will clear a lot up!

Mary

I just don't know what to do-Please help

I just don't know what to do-Please help

Who is online