#6 Postby Miss Mary » Wed Jun 07, 2006 9:29 pm
A year ago I would have said my mom. But since then we've had to assist a BIL who went thru a divorce (long, long story) this past year. He's also disabled from a stroke, so some of the turmoil his situation causes is out of his control. But a lot of it he could control (demands, appreciation, common courtesy). It's just a good thing we share this responsibility with other family members. But as his only brother's wife, we do more than our fair share.
When things get quite tense with him, that's when I realize my mom could be more difficult than she is. My mom and I have never had a close relationship and never will. I just try to keep the peace with her but it's hard sometimes. I was much closer to my dad but he passed away in 1988.
Ironically, my dearly departed MIL is the mother I'm trying my best to emulate. If I could just be 1/10th the mom she was, I'd be so happy. She knew how to be loving and supportive, but from a distance. My mom has never figured that out!
The one thing that I have figured out though and this took me many years to realize - we cannot change anyone else's behavior, actions, comments. We can only change how we react to them.
My best advice in dealing with someone who is very demanding is to just repeat their last absurd request - very slowly, for full effect. Sometimes when they hear it twice, it dawns on them they were out of line. But sometimes it sails right over their head.....LOL
Mary
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