How to interrogate Terrorists

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j
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How to interrogate Terrorists

#1 Postby j » Fri Sep 22, 2006 12:34 pm

Below are some of the suggestions I have heard and read on the best methods to use to extract information from terrorists during interrogations

(please feel free to add to the list if you have some better ideas):

- "Please give us information”

- If no information is given then “pretty please give us information”.

- If still there is no response, “pretty please with sugar on top”.

- If given court approval the interrogator could offer to be the terrorist’s “very best friend” in exchange for information.

- “I double-dog-dare you to give us information”.

- tell them “we won’t be their friend anymore if they don’t give us the information”.

- “I swear, if you don’t give me the information I want, I’ll have that woman over there take off all her clothes”.
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#2 Postby TexasStooge » Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:03 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: That's good!!!
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#3 Postby x-y-no » Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:09 pm

At the risk of being serious in what was no doubt intended to be a humorous thread ...

In the civilized world, mere accusation or suspicion do not equal guilt. And indeed some of those we have seized and sent off to be tortured turned out to be entirely immocent. Thus the title ought, perhaps, to say "people" rather than "terrorists".

Sadly, it appears we are about to suspend Habeas Corpus. So quite soon, in this nation, mere suspicion or accusation absent any proof and absent any legal recourse will indeed equal guilt. Not for citizens as yet, but for foreigners - even legal resident aliens. :cry:


I've never seen objective data to back up the claims on either side of the debate as to whether coercive interrogation techniques are effectve - only anecdotes. But the preponderance of anecdotal evidence seems to be that torture will indeed yield information but in general the quality of that information will be lower - there will be much more garbage - than is yielded by classic interrogation techniques. And at least intuitively that makes sense, because there's some fair probabiltiy you're torturing an innocent person and in that case he's going to have to invent something to make you stop, right?
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#4 Postby j » Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:11 pm

bah....trust me it was meant to be serious
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#5 Postby Lindaloo » Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:21 pm

Some people do not know how to take jokes, j. :lol:
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#6 Postby Pburgh » Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:53 pm

You could always just break down in tears if they won't give you the information. It always works for me. LOL I'm sure we could try that!!
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#7 Postby brunota2003 » Fri Sep 22, 2006 2:13 pm

bring bacon into the room...or poor bacon grease on them and deny any shower until said information is spilled...(sorry...I'm Christian, pouring pig grease on me wont work)
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#8 Postby GalvestonDuck » Fri Sep 22, 2006 3:12 pm

Why do joke threads get turned into debates?
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#9 Postby Aslkahuna » Fri Sep 22, 2006 3:41 pm

Personally, I would strip them down naked and make them run barefooted through a patch of Teddy Bear Cholla (aka the Cactus from Hell). Anyone who can do that without spilling their guts deserves to be turned loose.

Steve
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#10 Postby brunota2003 » Fri Sep 22, 2006 3:52 pm

Aslkahuna wrote:Personally, I would strip them down naked and make them run barefooted through a patch of Teddy Bear Cholla (aka the Cactus from Hell). Anyone who can do that without spilling their guts deserves to be turned loose.

Steve
:lol: that is a good one...Teddy Bear Cholla eh? I'll have to keep that in mind...
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#11 Postby sunny » Fri Sep 22, 2006 3:58 pm

Blast Springstein's "Born in the USA" at time for hours on end :D
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#12 Postby Lindaloo » Fri Sep 22, 2006 4:56 pm

GalvestonDuck wrote:Why do joke threads get turned into debates?


Because people can't take a joke. :eek:
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#13 Postby JenBayles » Fri Sep 22, 2006 5:06 pm

Hey! You forgot the infamous "Triple-Dog-Dare"! :lol:
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#14 Postby brunota2003 » Fri Sep 22, 2006 6:38 pm

did you guys have the electric chair as part of the dare system also? I did...:lol: you either did it or you did it..."Triple-Dog-Dare" was normally sufficent enough though...:lol:
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#15 Postby Cookiely » Fri Sep 22, 2006 8:36 pm

My grandmother passed away several years ago, but I'm almost positive anyone would have spilled their guts in a week just living with her. Surely we have a few such women living among us.
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#16 Postby JenBayles » Fri Sep 22, 2006 10:44 pm

Cookiely wrote:My grandmother passed away several years ago, but I'm almost positive anyone would have spilled their guts in a week just living with her. Surely we have a few such women living among us.


Hillary? :lol:
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#17 Postby Cookiely » Sat Sep 23, 2006 3:21 am

JenBayles wrote:
Cookiely wrote:My grandmother passed away several years ago, but I'm almost positive anyone would have spilled their guts in a week just living with her. Surely we have a few such women living among us.


Hillary? :lol:

Hillary is a cupcake compared to my granny.
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#18 Postby brick » Sun Sep 24, 2006 3:30 pm

sunny wrote:Blast Springstein's "Born in the USA" at time for hours on end :D



thats torture, i mean just because we catch them shooting at us or making a car bomb doesn't mean we can call them terrorist we should just call them people :roll: . i mean we all know how we the "people" treat our captured troops with nice things like cutting of there heads, gouging there eyes out, cutting them to pieces and placing there body parts around the city. i am not for doing these "people" the same way, but i guess we will continue to say pretty please and double dog dare to get info :cry:
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#19 Postby sunny » Sun Sep 24, 2006 3:36 pm

brick wrote:
sunny wrote:Blast Springstein's "Born in the USA" at time for hours on end :D



thats torture, i mean just because we catch them shooting at us or making a car bomb doesn't mean we can call them terrorist we should just call them people :roll: . i mean we all know how we the "people" treat our captured troops with nice things like cutting of there heads, gouging there eyes out, cutting them to pieces and placing there body parts around the city. i am not for doing these "people" the same way, but i guess we will continue to say pretty please and double dog dare to get info :cry:


While my nephew was recovering from being shot in the shoulder, they put him at Abu Grab. He said they would have what they call "drive by bombings". The insurgents drive by and throw bombs at them.
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#20 Postby Ptarmigan » Sun Sep 24, 2006 11:12 pm

Make them kiss a rabbit. :lol: 8-) :eek: :grrr: :18:
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