Update: A little depressed.. heres why..

[Josephine96]

I have several reasons why I'm depressed.. but here's the main reason I am..

If ya remember.. lets think back.. way back to December 12th 2004. That night, I was nearly killed in a horrific accident where I was thrown off my bike.

I hate to keep reopening the old wound.. but this happens every once in a while.. and since the anny is just 2 days away.. I've been thinking a lot about it..,

I know.. I should be grateful for what I have. {2 yrs at wal mart, Andrea, lessons learned from my "fling" with Toni, great friends, decent coworkers}

But I can't help but keep thinking back to this traumatic night.. I'm better then I was last year.. But Its' still bugging me a lot..

Please tell me I'm not wierd or anything like that.. I'm just normal with a brief bout I guess of PTSD lol..

Thanks 4 listening. comments welcomed..

[Bobbie Lee]

Please tell me I'm not wierd or anything like that.

No, I don't think you're weird. And I feel sorry for the memories you must carry with you. But why torment yourself with the negative when you have so much positive going for you?

I should be grateful for what I have.

Yes, and focus on that rather than something you can't change. It has hurt you enough and can't hurt you anymore. Let it go.

I wish you serenity.

[cajungal]

Did you ever get a car yet? Or do you still ride a bike to work? I know how you feel. On October 17th, I got into a car wreck and totaled my car. My first wreck ever. It was 1:30 a.m. and it was raining, and the guy ran the red light at the intersection. I could not stop in time and slammed right into him. I was driving back home from my boyfriend's house. I have been extremly nervous driving ever since. I just got a Honda Civic almost 2 weeks ago. And everytime I drive to my boyfriend's house or sometimes even if I am the passenger, and we pass the intersection where my wreck happened, I start getting flashbacks. And start breaking out into a cold sweat. I only managed to drive to my boyfriends house twice since the accident. I am trying my best to face my fear and get pass this. But, anyway, I know how you feel since I am kind of going through the same thing right now.

[therock1811]

It's normal. Frankly, I haven't even been able to walk past the area where the wreck I was in in 2004 happened but maybe once. You do have a lot of positive going on. Since you have Andrea, and you have those great friends, lean on them. Let them know what's going on and they will help you.

[Josephine96]

Thank u Jeremy.. and btw Cajun.. No car yet.. I have other things to try to focus on besides a car.. I wanna go back 2 school, I wanna find a place for Andrea and I because she wants out of her parents house lol and I want her and I to have our own place..
Andrea and I do wanna get married either sometime next year or in early 2008..

To answer 1 question.. I either ride the bus to work. get a ride, or walk. The funny thing is.. I may have to overcome fears of the bike because if I move to Andrea's part of town.. I'd need something else besides 2 feet lol.. the bus system on her side of town kinda stinks if I decide to move down there..

I did have a few flashbacks of the accident last night.. but actually slept pretty well..

[alicia-w]

Try talking to a counselor of some sort.

[Josephine96]

I have an update 4 u! I treated today as a great today..

I have also officially "renamed" each December 12th as a "Celebration of the fact that I'm alive" day!

I did have a couple bad flashbacks this morning but I also talked to 1 of my co workers who remembers that night so vividly.. and I actually made it through the day quite OK..

December 12th is now "celebration of life" day in my world..

[TexasStooge]

I have also officially "renamed" each December 12th as a "Celebration of the fact that I'm alive" day!

That's awesome!

[Josephine96]

I even treated myself to something today. It was an idea a girl I work with gave me. She said "treat urself.. u deserve it.. ur alive.. u look so much better than u probably ever thought u would.. and u r 1 of the best people here"..

I have a lot of support from my fellow wally world folks as much as I can't stand it there sometimes lol..