Article: Weathermen aren't exactly accurate

[jasons2k]

I, for one, really disagree with a lot in this misunderstood soul's article:

Dec. 11, 2006, 8:27PM
Weathermen aren't exactly accurate

By KEN HOFFMAN
Copyright 2006 Houston Chronicle

Hurricane season just ended — disappointing all the TV weathermen who love scaring viewers with predictions of whipping winds of 10,000 mph and storm surges that will turn Galveston into the Lost Continent of Atlantis.

Unfortunately for them (and Home Depot), Hurricane Season 2006 was a dud. The hurricane fetishists predicted 17 named tropical storms, nine full-blown hurricanes and five really scary hurricanes with winds in excess of 110 mph.

Well, only nine storms were named, only five grew up to be hurricanes, and just two made the big time with winds of 110 mph. How sad ... for the weather forecasters. Good for us, though.

But what's good for us isn't good for TV ratings.

Undaunted, the hurricane nut jobs are back. This week, a team of "guru" hurricane forecasters at Colorado State University (exactly how many hurricanes have hit the Rocky Mountains?) released a forecast predicting even more gloom and despair for 2007.

Their Magic 8 Ball says 14 tropical storms will be named, seven will balloon to hurricanes, and three will hit 110 mph on the Strength-o-Meter at the carnival.

I'm betting $50 on the under.

Weathermen can't tell you if it's going to rain tomorrow. Have you ever kept track of their accuracy? They're about as accurate as psychics in the supermarket checkout magazines. Or sportswriters predicting football games.

It's amazing how often they're wrong, and they're never held accountable. They say it's going to rain, it turns out sunny, and nobody calls them on it. They're back the next night, slinging the same old stuff against the wall.

These are weather entertainers who need four-legged, furry sidekicks to get ratings, whose batting average is lower than catcher Brad Ausmus' — and they're predicting major storms a whole winter, spring, summer and fall away?

This is like going to the Houston Texans for advice on which college football players to draft.

The sky is falling! The sky is falling! They're like that weird guy downtown waving a "The End Is Near" sign.

At some point, you ignore him. Remember the TV reporter last year who demonstrated the anticipated arrival of Hurricane Rita by showing a paper cup blowing gently across a parking lot?

I don't watch the TV weather anymore. They're wrong half the time, silly most of the time and take too much time all the time.

It's ridiculous the way they frantically jump to the lead news story every time it rains around here. Big deal. It rains. I own an umbrella. I'll survive.

Last year, when Hurricane Rita threatened Houston, our TV forecasters went so ballistic that the next time a hurricane bears down on us, viewers may ignore their warnings.

One weatherman, after the hurricane had blown well north of Texas and even the guy selling batteries at Ace Hardware had gone home, still had an arrow on his weather map suggesting the storm would do a loop the loop back to Houston. He got caught with his pants down worse than Britney Spears.

I never used to watch the TV weather until I became a Little League manager a few years ago. Then I needed to know if we could hold practice or whether our game would be rained out. Forget how often the weatherman is wrong; it's remarkable by how far they miss the forecast.

There would be days when they predicted "extreme" or "severe" (TV buzzwords) thunderstorms ... and we'd wind up running to Walgreens for sunscreen.

There's just something about a hurricane's rage and ruin that gets a weatherman's hormones bubbling. As soon as one hurricane dies harmlessly in the Caribbean, they breathlessly point to another tropical depression that they're praying could amount to something.

I think the weatherman is more depressed than the tropics.

ken.hoffman@chron.com

Listen to Ken Hoffman on The Michael Berry Show, 8 a.m. Wednesdays, on KPRC Radio (950 AM).

[Portastorm]

jschlitz ... this is what newspaper folks call a "column." It is not intended to be a factual story but is, in fact, a forum for this particular writer to offer something entertaining and get folks talking.

I don't know who he watches on TV in terms of on-air mets ... but he could certainly use a subscription to S2K to learn from more informed people and some of our own excellent meteorologists!!

[Johnny]

I sent Ken a warm and fuzzy e-mail.

[JenBayles]

Ken's columns are also "satire", intended to be read with a very large grain of salt and some laughs. I see his point about many of the Houston area OCMs though - most of 'em are just vomiting out what the producers tell them to put forth for the ratings games. That's why I depend on S2K and my own eyes to figure out what's happening with the weather gods.

[vbhoutex]

It's Ken Hoffman, enough said!!!!