FOr those who know the Chester County PA area

[angelwing]

Subject: Barbie

Mattel recently announced the release of the Limited-Edition Chester
County dolls for the Pennsylvania Market (Will be releasing Philadelphia and New Jersey Limited-Edition in time for Christmas of 2007):
 
Berwyn Barbie:
This princess Barbie is only sold at Nieman Marcus in King of Prussia.
She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and an attitude.  Available with or without tummy tuck and facelift. Workaholic Ken sold separately.
 
Dowingtown Barbie:
This Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and  matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold separately
 
Coatesville Barbie:
This recently paroled former "stuff Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy Lumina with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small,untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about.
 
West Chester Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club memberships. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able toafford any of them.
 
Parkesburg Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt andTweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and can kick mullet haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Doll includes the overwhelming confusion as to why more people don't come to downtown Parkesburg.  Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free!
 
Exton Barbie:
Complete with acid washed jeans and her 1987 high school year book, this model includes a 1984 PontiacFirebird with T-Top.  ET Barbie spends her days at the Bowl O Rama Dream House(sold separately) talking about how popular she was in high school and can often be found  trying to turn east into the westbound lanes of Route 30. Speed trap Ken available with traffic citation book and "bad cop"attitude.
 
Malvern Barbie:
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a  leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining  friends at the cookie cutter dream house. Percocet prescription available.
 
Honeybrook Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-gut Ken out of the Oley Barbie's dream house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top.  Also available with a mobile home.
 
Phoenixville Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up, and  Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her"Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase 2 Phoenixville  Barbie'sand the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
 
Kennett Sq. Barbie:
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a double-parked 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby  Barbie's in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes  with a cell phone, designer clothes and welfare check. Optional items available include switch blade, handgun with scratched off serial number, and Puerto Rican flag.  WIC Cards are available for Reading Barbie and Ken but green cards are not available for either doll.