More heartbreak.. Andrea left me :(

[Josephine96]

As of a little earlier this evening, Andrea and I are history. She wrote me an e mail, told me pretty much that it was over. But has apparently left the door open for wanting to come walking back in at some point, which I don't believe I'd let her do even though I really did love her.

She's a bit mental {depressed/bi polar} needs help, and has an over jealous psycho ex that beat her, raped her and freaking mentally abused her 4 5 years!

The thing that killed me was that she kept telling me "Your gonna end up being just like him!" or.. "I don't trust you, I'm waiting for u to be just like him"..

It's almost as like that over abusive jerk was the only thing she knew. He messed her head up so bad, which is why she probably could never be 100 percent happy with me.

I'm heartbroken, but I'm going to actually try to still be her friend unless it hurts too bad. Maybe the real pain hasn't hit me yet. I'm angry, I wanna punch walls, but I'm not teary eyed yet.

1 thing that does make me po'd.. She's got her clothes here.. I'm so tempted to tell her come and get them urself, but the nice side of me is saying "I'll bring them down"

She maybe has messed me up bad because even though she loved me and treated me well, {usually} she walked all over me, she played with my emotions a lot.. and well, I'm kinda happy we broke up in some sick and twisted way.

I loved her to death, wanted her to be my wife 1 day. But I now have to re-adjust to the single life. {unless I'm stupid enough to take her back when she gets her stuff straightened out}.

[JonathanBelles]

im sorry to hear it. if shes worth the trouble keep fighting.

[wxmann_91]

When I read this I was shocked cause I knew that you and she were really close together, and I really didn't think this would happen. So sorry to hear this. Best wishes.

[Josephine96]

She claims she did this to "protect me" and that "she really doesn't wanna hurt me".. But.. I don't really think it was that simple.

I don't believe I'd take her back either. it'd probably hurt too much..

[JQ Public]

I'm sorry. It seems like she brings excess baggage. During my first breakup I didn't get emotional until I had to meet her. It was real hard the first few weeks, but it got better!

[tropicana]

awww man...im soooo sorry to hear this news. Don't go making rash decisions, think it through, things might seem better in the morning.
Keep the faith!
-justin-

[Brent]

I'm so sorry to hear this John.

[Josephine96]

It's ok guys.. I'm depressed, but I'm not completely dead and heartbroken if that makes any sense.

Because, I know I CAN DO BETTER! There will be many more Andrea's, Toni's, Teresa's, whatever..

I'll perk up and be better in a few days I'm sure.

[george_r_1961]

She claims she did this to "protect me" and that "she really doesn't wanna hurt me".. But.. I don't really think it was that simple.

I don't believe I'd take her back either. it'd probably hurt too much..

John im glad u arent falling for that line. Time to put Andrea behind you and move on. The right woman for you is out there. You just havent found her yet.

[kevin]

If you have to save someone, chances are they will only bring you down. Yes, friends deserve your respect and help. You don't deserve to be played with or manipulated by past events. Certainly not in the world of love. I find that people who need to be saved can be very attractive. Many will give you unending praise, but the truth is many are simply looking for security they cannot and will not accept. Need often changes into resentment.

I know it will be difficult, especially if you two are going to try and remain friends. I have personally done that in the past, and it is always more difficult than I assumed.

If she played with your emotions and walked over you, then perhaps its not 'sick and twisted' that you wouldn't want to remain friends. Do you have any reason to believe your friendship wouldn't involve mind games and manipulation? Think about it.

But also don't jump to the conclusion that because your significant other was being unkind to you, that it is all her fault. I only say this because I have thought this before, and the truth is, every relationship has something to be learned. From both sides.

Good luck man. Give it some time. Find a girl with less emotional baggage if you can, someone you won't have to build up but who you can relate to as she is today.

Ignore my advice if it seems out of line.

Kevin

[Miss Mary]

Or......don't find anyone, for now. You knew I was going to say that John but like Kevin, I had to give my 2 cents. I am very sorry to hear you two broke up but once again, this seems like a prime time to stand on your own two feet, meet the personal goals you've set for yourself (college) and in time, you will meet someone. But if you were my son, I'd be saying - skip dating. For a long, long time.

I do wish you well and I know this sounds like a broken record, but at your age, this is the time of ~your~ life. Don't shape it around someone else's.

Mary

[alicia-w]

Excellent advice from Miss Mary. Ditto.

[therock1811]

Or......don't find anyone, for now. You knew I was going to say that John but like Kevin, I had to give my 2 cents. I am very sorry to hear you two broke up but once again, this seems like a prime time to stand on your own two feet, meet the personal goals you've set for yourself (college) and in time, you will meet someone. But if you were my son, I'd be saying - skip dating. For a long, long time.

I do wish you well and I know this sounds like a broken record, but at your age, this is the time of ~your~ life. Don't shape it around someone else's.

Mary

Well spoken. I too have had to adjust to being single again. Believe me, if she was playing a mindgame with you, who knows what she was doing behind your back?

Just to illustrate what I mean here. Recently I met this seemingly nice girl named Tamara. Everything was good but for some reason she was back and forth on what she wanted. We broke up and remained friends...but it turned out she was actually seeing someone behind my back and I had no choice but to get her completely out of my life. I don't want you to feel even worse. Not my intent at all...I just want you to recognize the possibility that something is up that you don't know about.

Good luck.

[Stephanie]

Or......don't find anyone, for now. You knew I was going to say that John but like Kevin, I had to give my 2 cents. I am very sorry to hear you two broke up but once again, this seems like a prime time to stand on your own two feet, meet the personal goals you've set for yourself (college) and in time, you will meet someone. But if you were my son, I'd be saying - skip dating. For a long, long time.

I do wish you well and I know this sounds like a broken record, but at your age, this is the time of ~your~ life. Don't shape it around someone else's.

Mary

I couldn't add any more to this.

As I said to you before John, she couldn't be there for you emotionally when your mother passed away. That was a big giveaway to me.

I'm sorry that this happened, but it is one of the many little life lessons you'll be experiencing and they all happen for a reason. (((HUGS))).

[cajungal]

Sorry this has happened to you John. But, everything happens for a reason. And she just was not the "one". I am glad that you did not already move in with her. Because then, you would have to be once again packing your things and looking for somewhere else to live. The right girl will come along some day. Just focus on you and your career, and keep busy just living life. True love will happen when you least expect it. Whether it happens tomorrow or 10 years from now.

[Josephine96]

Thanks 4 all the advice people. My job is telling me a lot of tidbits too. Many of them wanna say a thing or 2 to Andrea if they ever see her lol..

I'm definitely still in the po'd state, I don't entirely think her leaving has hit me yet because I really haven't cried too much. That could also be because I have become stronger despite my heartbreaks.

I do still love her and probably always will, but I don't want much of anything to do with her right now..

[NEWeatherguy]

Sorry this has happened to you John. But, everything happens for a reason. And she just was not the "one". I am glad that you did not already move in with her. Because then, you would have to be once again packing your things and looking for somewhere else to live. The right girl will come along some day. Just focus on you and your career, and keep busy just living life. True love will happen when you least expect it. Whether it happens tomorrow or 10 years from now.

Cajungal (as well as everyone else) is right on. I attempted the dating circuit for two years, two girls, two failures. Now, I have come to the conclusion my schooling and career are most important and will put off dating until I am in a retirement home or something.

[Josephine96]

Well... I'm through with Andrea.. breaking away from her may actually be a little easier than I thought..

She is digging deeper into this aching heart and seems to be trying to make the wounds bleed, well I'm not going to let her..

I can't believe some women can be this cruel..

I'm just going to probably block her b4 I go to sleep tonight so that she doesn't have to talk to me no more lol..

[cajungal]

Some people in this world think just because they had a raw deal in life and got hurt badly themselves, they can hurt others as well. Some people are cruel enough that actually get a kick out of knocking someone when they are already down. I think you are making a wise decision and just completly breaking away from her.

[Josephine96]

Thank u Cajun, I have blocked her IM's from me.. I won't block her e mail b cauz she really never e mailed me lol.. and I don't have the temptation to e mail her.

I don't have any reason to want to call her but I will still talk 2 her mom every once in a while cuz her mom thinks of me like I am 1 of her own kids..

She also seems to be the type to kick people when their down. She claims she's spending her b day today with some guy that helped her move into her apt. I hope he stands her up. lol

I do have 1 last thing before I can be rid of her and officially maybe try to heal. She has some clothes here. She did tell me if she had to come up here to get them, I can throw them out. I'm tempted to be the bigger person and mail them to her, but I might just trash them like she asked.

Otherwise, thats it.